Reviews of Ambidextrous 3

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  Awesome
  A review of Ambidextrous
  by Podger on 09/25/2007
  I loved this script. If it were a movie, I would love the movie. Excellent work. Your description is so perfect it's insane. I have only read one other screenplay on this website that gave me the visuals that this screenplay gave me. As I told the other writer, this script would be a directors dream. It's so visual you can picture every singe shot and angle. Some of... I loved this script. If it were a movie, I would love the movie. Excellent work. Your description is so perfect it's insane. I have only read one other screenplay on this website that gave me the visuals that this screenplay gave me. As I told the other writer, this script would be a directors dream. It's so visual you can picture every singe shot and angle. Some of the shots I just knew should be in slow motion, even though the writer never says that out loud. The characters are so 3-dimensional I felt like I could reach out and slap them, and I wanted to on many occasion. Structure is spot on. Dialog was so original, stylish, and hilarious. In fact, although this is a very very very close second to my favorite TS script, the dialog is better in this script. I have read a lot of screenplays on this site and this undoubtedly is my second favorite (like I said, it's just a hair behind the other).
  
  In my opinion, there are just a couple of things keeping this screenplay from being perfect.
  
  At times I had a really hard time believing that Charley would let Mick push him around as bad as he does. I was willing to accept it though except for the scene where Mick takes Charley to the apartment of crack heads and speed freaks to rip off a guy who is prefaced by a story about how insane he is. I don't care how bad of a push over Charley is, he would have said, "No fucking way am I going up there." I think you can get rid of the background story on the crazy hockey player and just have Mick say, "Yeah, we just have to stop by this guys place to pick up some money." and leave it at that. Then, when they get up there and Mick gets stoned out of his mind and Charley is surrounded by spead freaks, the scene is more believable. You can even have the crazy hockey player do something that tells us this guy is not to be fucked with. As it is written, I just saw Charley walking away.
  
  Which brings me to my next issue. Really, the script just feels like one scene after another of the writer building up audience hatred for Mick, so we can cheer when he gets his ass kicked in the end. And it works. But it's also kind of hollow and misguided. On your next re-write, try to tap into the theme of the piece a little more in all of the pages. Not just the last 20 or so.
  
  Really, those are my only issues. Oh, and I loved the twist at the end. Seriously, what an awesome script. I would see this movie, and with the write director, I would love this movie. read
• 
  AMBIDEXTROUS
  A review of Ambidextrous
  by **DELETED ACCOUNT** on 09/20/2007
  AMBIDEXTROUS was an interesting story with mixture of fun, a little bit of adventure and drama. But I did get lost sometimes. Mostly du to the long description. Some of them actually sounded like directing instructions. I read that directors did not really like to read screenplay with directing notes. Something about telling them out to do their job. There were two things... AMBIDEXTROUS was an interesting story with mixture of fun, a little bit of adventure and drama. But I did get lost sometimes. Mostly du to the long description. Some of them actually sounded like directing instructions. I read that directors did not really like to read screenplay with directing notes. Something about telling them out to do their job. There were two things I did not understand in the story though. The first is: why was Charley sticking with Mick who always kept on betraying, lying and stealing. With a friend like him, who needs enemies? The second thing had to do with the ending, that story teller had no harm! What happened to him? I would also suggest changing the title to something more attractive.
  Screenplay was properly formatted, but there were some typo:
  Page 8: “He was so close to his dream he could'a caught it with an uppercut.” It doesn’t make sense. I think because of COULD’A.
  On page 40: it says “They guy looks at his watch.” Instead of “The guy looks at his watch.”
  Page 64: “I still seen him as a good dad.” Instead of “I still see him as a good dad.”
  Overall, I’d say that you did a pretty good job with AMBIDEXTROUS.
  Good Luck
  Jen read
• 
  Stings like a Bee, but needs to float like a Butterfly
  A review of Ambidextrous
  by lhigbee on 09/20/2007
  Overall, I thought this script has a lot of potential but needs further revision. You are quite talented at action sequences and visual imagery. You also have some great one liners ("Reality. It ends more dreams than alarm clocks."), but the dialogue and narration came across a little heavy-handed rendering the character emotions forced rather than powerful. Theme is a great... Overall, I thought this script has a lot of potential but needs further revision. You are quite talented at action sequences and visual imagery. You also have some great one liners ("Reality. It ends more dreams than alarm clocks."), but the dialogue and narration came across a little heavy-handed rendering the character emotions forced rather than powerful.
  
  Theme is a great thing, and I like your theme of ambidextrous and what it means to wrestle with two choices, two equal sides of one's personality. However you need to work on making this theme more subtle throughout your script. This is especially true in the beginning. I detest when stories start with telling us what they are really about. Let your audience come to their own conclusions. I don't want to be told the significance of what just happened. If the script is written well, the audience will know it's a metaphor. Also examine the father's motivational speech for these issues as well.
  
  Jessica: Her character, unlike Charley and Mick, seems underdeveloped. There were some consistency questions in their second meeting (how could he remember the free kayak lesson detail if he didn't remember anything about last night) and the courtship went by way way too fast. I wasn't clear where their relationship was headed and any symbolic meaning just fizzled out in the end. I do, however, love the scene with her and Mick as she realizes what a fraud Charley is. The portrait unveiling was great.
  
  The issue of Charlie Flannery: I love having the idea of a character who exists in cultural memory, but never actually makes an appearance. However, I wasn't really sure why he meant so much Charley the protagonist. Saming the same name makes it kinda obvious (and confusing at first) that there is a connection. At first I thought our Charley was Charlie Flanney and so I wanted to know why you were spelling his name two different ways. Then I realized that wasn't it and I thought maybe Charlie was his father and we'd find out later that he learned to box from him. I was partially right on that one. But the father's name turned out to be Richard which confused me because his father is never really mentioned before the midway point. Also, FYI, on page 99, you spell his name Charley like the protagonist.
  
  Scene with Marco asking for forgiveness? Way too forced. There's no motivation shown for why Marco has come to this realization. However, the emotions in the reckoning scene with Bonnie in the prison was excellent. The conversation flowed naturally and the emotions were at an all-time.
  
  Finally, the ending. It was disappointing after the arresting beginning sequence in the jail. I was hoping that it would return full circle to that the meaning would impact, but that premise never went anywhere. I also wanted to have Charlie tie into the ending somehow, make him critical to Charley's success. Otherwise, what's the point in following him throughout the movie. read