Reviews of condo board 15

• 
  A difficult read
  A review of condo board
  by kirknord on 05/02/2003
  Simply put, I had a hard time reading this. The non-linear narrative structure was distracting and basically made my reading experience less than satisfactory. There's a core of a good story in here, but the structure needs to be smoothed out so that the time jumps aren't so jarring from a reader's perspective. Also, the detective just disappears for far too long in act 2... Simply put, I had a hard time reading this. The non-linear narrative structure was distracting and basically made my reading experience less than satisfactory. There's a core of a good story in here, but the structure needs to be smoothed out so that the time jumps aren't so jarring from a reader's perspective. Also, the detective just disappears for far too long in act 2. And talky. Trim the dialogue to give it more impact and use more description and action to tell the story. read
• 
  A little editing would go a long way
  A review of condo board
  by yerfriend on 01/02/2003
  This may seem nitpicky, but I think if the writer went back to this script and trimmed the action blocks to no more than four lines, the script would read a lot faste. There's a lot of writing here but not a whole lot of content. For all iits interesting characters, I thought the story was a little predcitable---though it's nothing another draft couldn't fix. Good Luck!
• 
  Fun
  A review of condo board
  by JugglingJamie on 12/23/2002
  The script was fun, light hearted, and could be a good piece for television. Ensemble comedies are tough. It's easier to follow and read if a single character is the focus. The Detective was a good plot devise. The setup was strong. Overall I'd recommend a trim in the middle. This one felt like it would work better at 100-110 pages. Right now the pacing is a little slow.Good... The script was fun, light hearted, and could be a good piece for television. Ensemble comedies are tough. It's easier to follow and read if a single character is the focus. The Detective was a good plot devise. The setup was strong. Overall I'd recommend a trim in the middle. This one felt like it would work better at 100-110 pages. Right now the pacing is a little slow.Good work overall though. read
• 
  Columbo meets Tom and Myrtle...
  A review of condo board
  by avenir on 12/13/2002
  Very funny in its tragic ordinariness. Like an expanded version of the famous Tom and Myrtle drunken haze scene in Firzgerald's 'The Great Gatsby'. Probably just because of its dreary plot, I got bored and had to force myself to read it through.It was going nowhere, just 'round and 'round. But maybe that's the point. If so, congratulations, but the appeal is limited.
• 
  Back To The Drawing Board
  A review of condo board
  by danacar on 11/29/2002
  Firstly, let me applaud the writer's commitment to their project -- it's one thing to talk about writing; it's another thing entirely to actually do it. What follows is some constructive criticism -- some 'unpleasantries' that need to be addressed and I hope the author finds the feedback useful.In short: this is not a feature screenplay. It lacks focus and meaning. It appears... Firstly, let me applaud the writer's commitment to their project -- it's one thing to talk about writing; it's another thing entirely to actually do it. What follows is some constructive criticism -- some 'unpleasantries' that need to be addressed and I hope the author finds the feedback useful.In short: this is not a feature screenplay. It lacks focus and meaning. It appears structure has not been considered. It's as though the writer was so excited by his idea that he just sat down one day and started writing....and writing...and writing....and stopped at page 100-and-something.There's a lot more to screenwriting than getting the formatting (kind of) right. There's immense planning involved. You've got to have a sense of rhythm and timing, of what should happen next and how. You've got to create fleshed out characters that speak off the page, and we must care about what happens to them. You've got to understand dialogue, how people actually speak. And how to write economical, effective description. To write visually. And most critical of all, you've got to have a strong, fresh idea that will grip audiences and make other writers jealous. Check out some books, read professional scripts and get fussy. read
• 
  Wouldn't Want to Move There
  A review of condo board
  by ronin70 on 11/29/2002
  Very simply, after the first 30 pages or so, I found that I didn't care about the story much, didn't find the jokes funny and ultimately didn't care about the characters either. It took forever to read and reminded me of another movie I saw in the past, Very Bad Things, a black comedy that was merely black and not funny.
• 
  No message. No movie.
  A review of condo board
  by drdekekave on 11/28/2002
  A movie without a message is just jibber-jabber. I'm pretty sure Mr.T would have to agree - so don't be a fool and go back to school. Sorry, but sometimes the truth hurts - so deal with it. Reccommended new title: Condom Bored. Here's eight more words to make the quota.
• 
  Needs a lot of work
  A review of condo board
  by smartistic on 11/25/2002
  Good effort but the formatting mistakes created confusion at times. Presentation is key to making a good first impression. So that said, I liked the community feel of the condo owners and there were a lot of interesting personalities. I liked how you tied everything together in the end. But I have to admit, I didn't really care who did it, or why. The detective was almost... Good effort but the formatting mistakes created confusion at times. Presentation is key to making a good first impression. So that said, I liked the community feel of the condo owners and there were a lot of interesting personalities. I liked how you tied everything together in the end. But I have to admit, I didn't really care who did it, or why. The detective was almost like an after thought....not a real presence there. Anyway, do yourself a favor and revise the script a couple more times....and do us a favor and follow the correct format. Thanks and good luck. read
• 
  Witty, Cute, but a sitcom feel
  A review of condo board
  by readshere on 11/21/2002
  A few obvious typos and the breast issue on pg. 24 was confusing until much later. The whole fire investigation aspect kept you from enjoying the story. Wondering what significance it played was always in the back of my mind and took away some of the enjoyment. Some funny quips and effective discriptions kept me interested. I had a good feel for all the characters and though... A few obvious typos and the breast issue on pg. 24 was confusing until much later. The whole fire investigation aspect kept you from enjoying the story. Wondering what significance it played was always in the back of my mind and took away some of the enjoyment. Some funny quips and effective discriptions kept me interested. I had a good feel for all the characters and though enjoyable, it felt more like a sitcom episode than a feature. read
• 
  Good faith effort, but misses the mark
  A review of condo board
  by cmh80634 on 11/18/2002
  The story started out very confusing and choppy. The writer would benefit from becoming more familiar with accepted convention on script formatting and content. There a lot of "newbie" type mistakes. If these problems got resolved, the script would read much better.For example, there are several instances of a character slug only having a lengthy parenthetical underneath... The story started out very confusing and choppy. The writer would benefit from becoming more familiar with accepted convention on script formatting and content. There a lot of "newbie" type mistakes. If these problems got resolved, the script would read much better.For example, there are several instances of a character slug only having a lengthy parenthetical underneath it but no dialogue. Any parenthetical longer than a word or two should be removed and put into the description paragraphs instead. read