Reviews of Dead Cold 6

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  review for dead cold
  A review of Dead Cold
  by zltinsf on 06/07/2010
  The zombie story has been told so many times, from so many angles, it's a real challenge to create a story that comes off as fresh or exciting. Yet the films that do make a splash, manage to find some new twist that reenergizes the genre. I'm sad to say it wasn't there for me in your story. In fact, I was hard pressed to find a single original element in your script. I... The zombie story has been told so many times, from so many angles, it's a real challenge to create a story that comes off as fresh or exciting. Yet the films that do make a splash, manage to find some new twist that reenergizes the genre.
  
  I'm sad to say it wasn't there for me in your story. In fact, I was hard pressed to find a single original element in your script. I realize that one part of the zombie film is to kind of give props and serve as a homage to every zombie flick that has preceded it, but what was the hook that pushed you to write this?
  
  Was it lifting scenes from other non-zombie films and smashing them into the mix? Bad Santa, Die Hard, The Pick of Destiny, Killbots/Dawn of the Dead, Carl the janitor from the Breakfast Club (?)- a hint of these would have been nice, but they seemed to be almost copied and pasted right into your document.
  
  There were two action scenes I enjoyed. The stampeding elk and the chase across the frozen lake, but based on the rest of the script, I almost feel like they might have been ripped off from movies I didn't get a chance to see. If I'm wrong, kudos to you.
  
  There was one genre rule that you broke towards the end of the film that was kind of baffling. The solider who was wrestled into the river by the rabid bear was obviously going to reappear, but you reveal him off somewhere in the middle of nowhere by himself where no one can be amazed by the fact that he's still alive. In most films he'd pop up in the 11th hour and save the protags. Instead you introduce a new character on page 110 named Sgt. Dutch. That should be your man reappearing!
  
  I hope this can be accepted as constructive. I can make out from this that you are a talented writer, some of your dialog hits the sweet spot, and, hey, obviously I'm not the intended audience for this. I just hope this is a warm up for the next killer script you write.
  
  (Oh I didn't go into the formatting errors, but I'm sure others will.)
  
  Here are the notes I took while reading:
  
  -pg 15, edge of town- maybe you could show a sign saying he's leaving the city limits or something.
  
  -pg 18, Bill Murray-like lounge singer, no. Karoke, yes.
  
  -job title preceding name, JANITOR CARL, etc- don't get it, it annoys me
  
  -Two santa with the kids montages, weird, sudden, awkward introduction of the zombies.
  
  -collectable weapons shop?
  
  -simplify scene headings. For example, EXT. PARKING LOT- we know we're at the mall, just keep it simple
  
  -two Dio references?
  
  -pg 47, not feeling the pressure of the snow.
  
  -not listening to the radio, trying to watch tv?
  
  -pg 54, flash back unneeded.
  
  -pg 91, all of this exposition should have come much earlier
  
  -pg 100, does he have the beard on the whole time?
  
  Best of luck. Thanks for giving me the opportunity to read your stuff.
  read
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  "Nice work, dick-stick."
  A review of Dead Cold
  by David Hayes on 05/31/2010
  All in all, a fun B+ zombie movie with enough thrills and laughs to keep most people entertained. In this kind of horror/comedy genre, laughs usually trump the scares but I thought there was a fair balance of thrills with the laughs in this one to keep both camps happy. I would only point to a few problem areas, with the biggest one being all the fat that's in the script... All in all, a fun B+ zombie movie with enough thrills and laughs to keep most people entertained. In this kind of horror/comedy genre, laughs usually trump the scares but I thought there was a fair balance of thrills with the laughs in this one to keep both camps happy. I would only point to a few problem areas, with the biggest one being all the fat that's in the script. A comedy / horror zombie spec really doesn't need to be any longer than 100-110 pages, and there are a few areas that I think could be trimmed down:
  
  - The first act seriously needs to be tightened up to get to the action quicker. I don't even know why you have Judy Fillmore as a character in the script because she makes 2 appearances only to never resurface in your story again. We don't even see her die. I say cut her. She's a waste of time. You already get the sense of Frank's checkered fallen-from-grace past by his demeanor. You've got two series of shots of Frank as Santa that are basically variations of the same joke. You only need one series of shots. We got it the first time. So I'd suggest you cut Frank's first trip to the mall and open with Frank at the bar, he hears weather in his car, sees Alex in the coffee shop ON THE WAY to the mall for Black Friday. When he arrives maybe there's only one zombie out there somewhere that no one notices. Then the scene with the Janitor, the series of shots, the scene with Ricky, and then all hell breaks loose. Boom, boom, boom - get this story moving! Here's another thought - instead of a love story with Alex in a coffee shop, why not create a love story with Mall-Elf Jenny? That could save some pages right there.
  
  - You also have a habit of overwriting the dialogue. I noticed this with the first encounter with Janitor Carl. You could've accomplished the same points with half the dialogue. Cut the chit-chat. Enter late and leave early, as they say. Here are a few other places from my notes where there's too much dialogue:
  
  Pg 22 - WAY too much dialogue here from the newscasters.
  Pg 25 - Do we really need to explain that they take care of the kids?
  Pg 55 - Way too long. Why not a flashback instead? Show, don't tell.
  Pg 72 - The handling of exposition about Frank's past is rather forced here.
  Pg 68-79 - An unbearably long collection of dialogue in a room
  Pg 90-91 - WAY too much dialogue.
  Pg 92-93 - This dialogue could've been cut back, too.
  
  The section from pages 68-79 where the gang is in the Lake House is a big red flag because the the action comes to a screaching halt for 12 minutes of talking heads in a room. It's like you tried to throw way too much exposition into this one scene - the back story about Frank, which was a long conversation, as well as the discussion about how to get out, and also the exposition of how the zombies came into being. It's all too much to take in one scene. You should find another place to go into the backstory about Frank. That's the kind of thing people talk about when they first meet.
  
  Lastly, I'm not quite sure I understand Frank's arc. The logline talks about how he's "a down-on-his-luck Mall Santa with a scarred past," which implies an arc of some kind and I'm not sure there was one. The fact that he used to be an engineer explains how he had the technical know-how to do certain things in the story, like rig cars, but how does he change? How does his past impact how he behaves when the conflict starts? What's the theme? I can't help but wonder if Frank's arc should be more fun, like he's a truly bad, selfish, hateful Santa, who lightens up and cares about others in the end. That's cliched, I know, but that'd be a little better than what we got.
  
  Good job, guys. Keep it up. read
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  Crack Open a Cold One
  A review of Dead Cold
  by DarkMoonINC on 05/31/2010
  I opened the PDF, took one look at the cover picture, and closed it. I don't need to review this movie, I don't need to waste my time reading two hours of my life away and writing a witty review. This beautiful, timeless masterpiece of a cover shows me all I need to know about this movie. Whoever your artists are sir, bravo. You sold me on that alone. I will buy two tickets... I opened the PDF, took one look at the cover picture, and closed it. I don't need to review this movie, I don't need to waste my time reading two hours of my life away and writing a witty review. This beautiful, timeless masterpiece of a cover shows me all I need to know about this movie. Whoever your artists are sir, bravo. You sold me on that alone. I will buy two tickets now and go stand in line for the movie. Well, it is rather cold out and Triggerstreet may frown upon this paragraph by it's lonesome so I guess I'll stay inside in a warm cozy blanket and write this review in full.
  
  One page in and brains explode in a vibrant bloody display. You know how to woo the hearts of nerds, my friend. Not since Evil Dead 2 or Zombieland have I seen things get started off so well. The directing cuts scenes close and precise like Edgar Wright at his prime. The dialogue comes in quick and fast, jibbing like the punches of a meth addicted boxer - this one is going for broke. It's well written, it's well timed. It had a cover that already sold me. The characters speak in clever lines but always authentic, organic. I have found my new favorite catch phrase in this script "Have you been pissed on today?"
  
  Strangely, the cover of Holy Diver by a lounge singer somehow fits appropriately right after Dio's death. Without skipping a beat of smooth dialogue on page twenty they fit in the title of the film in such a clever fashion. Something you can always tell with a good piece is that if you are forty pages in and you don't notice the loss of time, it is quality work. I was reading so fast and interested that page sixty snuck up on me. Lines like "Among them is another soldier and the standard collection of zombie fodder." make it all the worthwile a read.
  
  I love how it imbraces itself in the Zombie mold. At first it plays coy, cutting off lines like "It's a Zom-" and giving vague hints of secret chemical projects in radio chatter. But then it becomes full blown, mocking it's genre with a book by Mike Brocks (Max Brooks) How to Survive a Zombie Attack (Zombie Survival Guide) which proves to be utter grabage and tossed immediatly. I love that it allows animals to get infected, pulling a full Zombie ecosystem. I love how it doesn't try to over explain anything, just hints of what caused the mess. Like any good zombie flick, it keeps it's focus on what sells: the zombies doing what they do best.
  
  And there are gallons of blood here. We're talking with the white snow - a massive sea of red earth in which body parts are scenery. The audience that is attracted to these kinds of movies will watch this and devour it greedily. That is inevitable the problem with reviewing this. If you are in the zombie lover demographic you will watch this and ignore any flaws on your first run through. If you are not, then the movie will be one big annoyance and you've nit pick every scene. Either way, these writers make their money.
  
  Character Development? Pacing? This is not a movie where you build plot, get to know the characters, and go on to see their complex relationships. Most of them are cardboard cutouts - in this genre it's a GOOD THING. Marty is a coward (I read him like a slimy Don Knotts), Paul is manliness incarnate (he fights a bear with a knife for Pete's sake), Alex is the love interest, Ricky is the bumbling awkward sidekick guy. This is OK. Sure, they have just enough character development and emotional strife so you care about them when they get eaten. But you're rooting FOR them to get eaten in this movie.
  
  Only Frank sits alone in this. He is Dynamic, somewhat. He is complex. He has growth and development and a rounded character design. You follow him for the entire movie so you expect him to be human and connectable to the audience. He does his job well. Everyone else is so elegantly "zombie fodder". You don't watch Slasher flicks for their moving romantic drama, you don't watch action flicks for their deep political and philosophical meaning, and you don't watch a zombie flick expecting anyone but maybe the protagonist and love interest to avoid the chewing teeth of the undead.
  
  The scholars responsible for this script scribe a story that stays professional, well written, clever, intelligent, gory, funny, and features an old man fighting an infected grizzly bear underwater with a knife. A ZOMBIE GRIZZLY BEAR. Underwater. WITH A KNIFE. I have no more words then that.
  
  Wait ... I do: "Have you been pissed on today?" read
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  Dead cold is dead funny
  A review of Dead Cold
  by ChristopherHula on 05/28/2010
  Although it is a little like Dawn of the Dead, crossed with Bad Santa, crossed with Shaun of the Dead, Dead Cold is actually quite hilarious. The characters are well developed, the plot is easy to follow, and the zombie attacks are far from stereotypical. The character of Frank's backstory is particularly endearing. You can genuinely feel for what he went through. But... Although it is a little like Dawn of the Dead, crossed with Bad Santa, crossed with Shaun of the Dead, Dead Cold is actually quite hilarious.
  
  The characters are well developed, the plot is easy to follow, and the zombie attacks are far from stereotypical.
  
  The character of Frank's backstory is particularly endearing. You can genuinely feel for what he went through.
  
  But by far Marty has to be the best character, he is funny, sweet, and of course blundering.
  
  Of all the most original zombie killing weapons, the best is a toss up between the RBP, and the shoulder canon.
  
  It definitely does have a feel of a video game though. I would also recommending working on your format a little bit, and getting rid of that garish cover page (though the artwork is good, it just further pushes home the point that it seems like a video game.)
  
  Overall, I thought Dead Cold was quite good. read
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  Its starting to feel a lot like Christmas
  A review of Dead Cold
  by **DELETED ACCOUNT** on 05/27/2010
  Hi I liked this good concept the whole Xmas idea.This was a fast read and it pretty much all worked.You had some good scenes that stood out form the usual.Especially the zombie elk and the bear.I made some notes as I read see below. Whats the deal with the art on the first page? What is the deal with the numbers at the side of the scenes?And the ridiculous page indents?Page... Hi I liked this good concept the whole Xmas idea.This was a fast read and it pretty much all worked.You had some good scenes that stood out form the usual.Especially the zombie elk and the bear.I made some notes as I read see below.
  
  
  Whats the deal with the art on the first page? What is the deal with the numbers at the side of the scenes?And the ridiculous page indents?Page 32?page 58?
  
  PAGE NOTES
  Page 23 Frank as he makes his way to the door. --What is this line?
  Page 26 why not be brave and have the DVDs be either some off porn or something by Romero?
  Page 27 How about instead of a rope barrier he grabs a giant candy cane (you know the kind they use for the Xmas decorations?
  Page 40 (alarmed)Frank!? What’s going on? What are (YOU)doing?
  Page 44 might be more fun if its Rickys step father killing his mother he can say something about always hating the bastard.Or maybe its the Avon lady?
  Page 46 RICKY I’m not leaving my mom in (MY-THE)front walk. I need your help
  Page 55 why not have Reno being attacked by the woman who was on the cell phone earlier and as he runs out he puts on her fur coat? Also sadly you need to break up that dialogue chunk its extremely long.
  
  CHARACTERS
  I think this would be a lot better if we had more insight into who Frank is.The bridge thing really didn't do it for me.I only see Alex as his side kick.Might be better if you gave her more personality.
  
  STORY
  It moves rather quickly my only unhappiness is that there isn't more of a plot or any real character development.Like you introduce Stonehaulrer and just make him an instant character it just doesn't work.Also the airplane scene was a little confusing.You might want to reexamine that.
  
  FORMATTING
  You have a lot of issues with indents and page numbers on the sides of scenes its distracting.You also need to not write in camera angles that's generally frowned on.Also there is no reason for you to joke with the reader like they are in on something.Just try and be as professional as possible.
  
  OVERALL
  It was pretty good as these kind of films go.The needing being open for a sequel was a good way to go.
  
  Overall pretty good.
  
  Good luck
  Lucy
  
  
  
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  Dead Cold is a good Screamplay.
  A review of Dead Cold
  by dawriter67 on 05/26/2010
  There's a lot to like about this fast moving Zombie screamplay. The characters the action and the over the top violence that is always associated with all the Zombie films we've come to know and expect. First - the characters - Frank was a likable guy and the hero from start to finish. I liked how he went from a good Santa to a bad Santa - in a ragged beat up way, I mean... There's a lot to like about this fast moving Zombie screamplay. The characters the action and the over the top violence that is always associated with all the Zombie films we've come to know and expect.
  
  First - the characters - Frank was a likable guy and the hero from start to finish. I liked how he went from a good Santa to a bad Santa - in a ragged beat up way, I mean. He was stuck in his Santa suit the whole time - so that's pretty good. However, Franks' back story about how he's this bridge engineer and how the bridge collapsed and many died - it wasn't working. It just felt like it was inserted into the script. This needs to be developed somehow without having to have talking head scene. Loved how he carries round his customized weapon - the pole.
  
  Alex - Frank's love interest - needs to be developed more.
  
  The lounge singer, Marty, was developed well - he's the anti-hero and when he died, I wasn't sorry - crass S.O.B
  
  Ralphie - went through a lot - lost his parents then lost his life - poor guy.
  
  Plot - the plot moves well. The 2nd act starts when the zombie kid tries to snack on Frank.3rd act starts when the zombie's attack the green zone - good job there.
  
  The character of Paul - I had some problems - he also felt kind of inserted and had all these weapons. How did he stock up so fast in the wake of the zombie plague? It wasn't too clear.
  
  I did notice some instances where you guys included camera descriptions - if you are making this then it's not my concern but if you are sending this out to the studios then it might be a good idea to omit camera angles. If and ONLY if you are sending out the script to agents, LOSE the color stock title page with the picture.
  
  Be careful with the references to songs - some you might have copy right issues if you want to use them in the films. I know you want to establish a Christmassy mood and you sure did.
  
  The ending was pretty satisfying because most zombie flicks end on a sour negative note and there's hope at the end of this one.
  
  Best of luck with this!!!
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