Reviews of Ebb and Flow 10

• 
  good characters
  A review of Ebb and Flow
  by webb157 on 04/08/2003
  You have some pretty good characters in this idea, but they're not enough to carry it. The plot is pretty un-developed after page 10. It seems like you have an idea of what you want the film to be, but you haven't brought it out yet. It's all part of the process. We don't know the main character's flaws quickly enough. He has a gambling problem, but you don't really focus... You have some pretty good characters in this idea, but they're not enough to carry it. The plot is pretty un-developed after page 10. It seems like you have an idea of what you want the film to be, but you haven't brought it out yet. It's all part of the process. We don't know the main character's flaws quickly enough. He has a gambling problem, but you don't really focus on it for a long time. Brainstorm some new scenes to make the movie more interesting. Some of the subplots are too slow for a script.You write well. Just take your time on the idea. read
• 
  A few points
  A review of Ebb and Flow
  by dd97 on 04/05/2003
  Just a few points: Avoid voice overs. They're distracting. Scene changes near beginning are confusing, and it takes too long to make the connection between Ingo/Wolfe and David/Laura. Characterization gets better after David and Laura get to know each other. Having two "L"'s (Lindsey and Laura) is confusing. Consider changing a name. Typos on pg. 23 lays/lies, pg. 63... Just a few points: Avoid voice overs. They're distracting. Scene changes near beginning are confusing, and it takes too long to make the connection between Ingo/Wolfe and David/Laura. Characterization gets better after David and Laura get to know each other. Having two "L"'s (Lindsey and Laura) is confusing. Consider changing a name. Typos on pg. 23 lays/lies, pg. 63 driving/diving and 85 roles/rolls. A "vial" of coccaine, not a "vile". Whole holiday scene and drive with dad almost seems pointless. Hot dog vendor with cliche's too reminiscent of A Few Good Men. Good suspense near end. Lindsey being an angel is a good twist. Not a bad story, overall. read
• 
  if ebb and flow where my friends...
  A review of Ebb and Flow
  by penney on 03/28/2003
  too many subplots, not enough character development. The concept is worth persuing, but this script needs to deside where it's centre of gravity is. I have no insight as to what caused any of the characters to fall back into past bad habits, thus i have no sympathy or empathy for the characters short comings. Also, it totally fell apart at the end. The writer ends up giving... too many subplots, not enough character development. The concept is worth persuing, but this script needs to deside where it's centre of gravity is. I have no insight as to what caused any of the characters to fall back into past bad habits, thus i have no sympathy or empathy for the characters short comings. Also, it totally fell apart at the end. The writer ends up giving us all kinds of detailed scene description to fill up the void. There are definatly some good ideas in here and some good dialogue. However, it desperatly needs a rewrite. read
• 
  EHH and NO
  A review of Ebb and Flow
  by pgmavro on 03/10/2003
  I loved the beginning. It was like Snatch, but not. The rest fell apart. Everything started becoming predictable. It needs more spontaneity and more development on the characters. Again, the beginning grabbed me and pulled me in. The rest; ehh and no. the structure was good, but the story has to have a few more twist and turns to it.
• 
  Flowed well
  A review of Ebb and Flow
  by hgoldbla on 03/06/2003
  The screenplay is entertaining although there are not many twists. It was kind of predictable, but overall ithe story was well written. At times the dialgue was a little flat, however, the characters maintained a distinct voice. I don't think the two main characters learn anything. There is not a moment that David realizes that he is ruining his life and Laura never stops... The screenplay is entertaining although there are not many twists. It was kind of predictable, but overall ithe story was well written. At times the dialgue was a little flat, however, the characters maintained a distinct voice. I don't think the two main characters learn anything. There is not a moment that David realizes that he is ruining his life and Laura never stops blowing lines. read
• 
  Dig deeper into the characters.
  A review of Ebb and Flow
  by rgalien on 03/05/2003
  This story is well written and has good structure, but lacks an overall spark, making it drag in places. Scenes end abruptly and in many cases lack excitement or passion. For instance, when David and Laura meet and have drinks together, it's a perfect opportunity to introduce a dynamic between eventual lovers but instead leaves you to wonder why they want to be around each... This story is well written and has good structure, but lacks an overall spark, making it drag in places. Scenes end abruptly and in many cases lack excitement or passion. For instance, when David and Laura meet and have drinks together, it's a perfect opportunity to introduce a dynamic between eventual lovers but instead leaves you to wonder why they want to be around each other. My suggestion would be to create scenes along the way in which relationships are established and characters' qualities and traits are better defined. read
• 
  Well written but characters lack
  A review of Ebb and Flow
  by jk livin on 02/28/2003
  This is a well written screenplay, but the characters aren't exactly evolved enough. The main character doesn't hold my attention. At times I could picture the story at points, but it was kind of hard to follow at others. I did like the charcter Lindsay. She seemed to be the liberal girl that falls in love with a guy that has no structure, so she had some kind of pizazz.
• 
  Rework the Direction
  A review of Ebb and Flow
  by EarlM on 02/28/2003
  David Strahan struggles with addiction of the gambling kind, a problem that works against his job as a newpaper sports reporter. He meets two different women, one from another realm and one from his own, with cocaine as her personal demon of choice. Certain scenes worked but too many characters, none of them developed to speak of, scatter the story line and leave the plot... David Strahan struggles with addiction of the gambling kind, a problem that works against his job as a newpaper sports reporter. He meets two different women, one from another realm and one from his own, with cocaine as her personal demon of choice. Certain scenes worked but too many characters, none of them developed to speak of, scatter the story line and leave the plot begging for continuous motion in one direction or another. Perhaps attention solely to underground fight clubs and dropping the other gambling situations could bring a tighter story line together. read
• 
  Very had to follow
  A review of Ebb and Flow
  by doc3514 on 02/27/2003
  I think that this could really go places with some major adjustments. As with a lot of screenplays - the characters are grossly underdeveolped. When you take the time to develop characters - the story flows. If you come up with an idea and then try yo plug characters into it, it rarely works. Make your characters real and then see what they have to say to you.
• 
  Excellent writer needs a better story
  A review of Ebb and Flow
  by Egaeus on 02/27/2003
  Let me tell you, your writing style is excellent. You effortlessly get your point across. You write in simple and clear action lines. The dialog is great and you followed the 'Show don't tell' rule. One thing to be careful of: try not to use characters with names that look or sound alike. Three women with names starting with 'L' two of which were Laura and Lynne. This... Let me tell you, your writing style is excellent. You effortlessly get your point across. You write in simple and clear action lines. The dialog is great and you followed the 'Show don't tell' rule. One thing to be careful of: try not to use characters with names that look or sound alike. Three women with names starting with 'L' two of which were Laura and Lynne. This is an easy way to make the reader stumble. You write great, now you need a great story to write. This was not it. This was a bad combination of a love story and a gangster movie mixed together with a dash of 'spiraling out of control angst'. It did not work for me. Stay more focused. I did not understand the roommate as an angel thing at all. Too many things going on and it seemed like you didn't put any thought into making them all come together in the end. You are an excellent writer. Work on brining out the excellence in your script. read