Reviews of EVENING FALLS (Revised) 54

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  Refreshingly Different
  A review of EVENING FALLS (Revised)
  by Troxik on 05/04/2005
  Right off the bat I could tell this one the type of script that was going to be completely different than anything else I'd read and I wasn't let down one bit. At first a main character with no toungue does'nt seem like it should work but you pulled it off brilliantly, and got around it at just he right time. My only real gripe with the script would haev to be the dialogue... Right off the bat I could tell this one the type of script that was going to be completely different than anything else I'd read and I wasn't let down one bit. At first a main character with no toungue does'nt seem like it should work but you pulled it off brilliantly, and got around it at just he right time.
  
  My only real gripe with the script would haev to be the dialogue. It just feels a little too stiff. It works fine for the main characters but really stands out with the "towns folk". Their dialouge just doesn't read very naturally to me.
  Other than that I think you guys have a great script just need to pound the dents out of the dialouge. read
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  Evening Falls
  A review of EVENING FALLS (Revised)
  by ADrennan on 05/01/2005
  This is a great, well written story. I really enjoyed it. One thing I think could have made it better would be to include more action in the first part of the story. It grabs attention in the very beginning, but looses some of that in the slow pacing of the start of Kaspar/Sam's story. The story would also ready easier if the description of the world of magic were earlier... This is a great, well written story. I really enjoyed it. One thing I think could have made it better would be to include more action in the first part of the story. It grabs attention in the very beginning, but looses some of that in the slow pacing of the start of Kaspar/Sam's story. The story would also ready easier if the description of the world of magic were earlier in the story. As it is the reader, or viewer, is left trying to figure out the magic world on their own. The false ending of Isabel surviving only to die at the end is very wrenching. It really grabs the audience, maybe even annoyingly. Because of this it is very effective from the story teller's standpoint. There were a few minor grammatical and spelling mistakes, and some of the descriptions could have been better written, but the majority of the work is very good. One description I noticed was in the scene where the map of the world shows the seven magic centers, but the description doesn't name them there, only later in the story are the names listed. They should be included there to make it easier to connect the two descriptions. I really liked this script and think it would make an excellent movie. read
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  Good start
  A review of EVENING FALLS (Revised)
  by kevinsiscool on 03/24/2005
  The first notes I made whole reading this, was for me, there is too much Vice over and description at the start. Trim it all back and make the story easier to get into. Tell the story more with pictures. I know it is easier with voice, but remember it is a movie. The dialogue is much to long in places eg p 19, 61, 69, 72. Characters are very well portrayed and are the strongest... The first notes I made whole reading this, was for me, there is too much Vice over and description at the start. Trim it all back and make the story easier to get into. Tell the story more with pictures. I know it is easier with voice, but remember it is a movie. The dialogue is much to long in places eg p 19, 61, 69, 72. Characters are very well portrayed and are the strongest part of this script. Good structure and imaginative story. With a revision it could be something really special. read
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  Yowies and Aconites and Tussels, oh my!
  A review of EVENING FALLS (Revised)
  by JoelCan on 01/29/2005
  It takes a heap o' explaining to create a whole new mythology, and that hurts this script in places - because the reader has to figure out what all these creatures are and what they're up to and what's up with the moving sticks. But this is a well-paced script that blends parts of Harry Potter with LOTR with the best of both worlds. Very grisly at times, the script keeps... It takes a heap o' explaining to create a whole new mythology, and that hurts this script in places - because the reader has to figure out what all these creatures are and what they're up to and what's up with the moving sticks. But this is a well-paced script that blends parts of Harry Potter with LOTR with the best of both worlds. Very grisly at times, the script keeps the action going through the end. But I felt we spent too much time away from Sam when Solomon goes to the ships and felt maybe the story should stay rooted more in the town. The townsfolk threaten to turn into villagers from Frankenstein and could use a little more integration into the main storyline - especially since they've been set up so much when Sam is in the hospital. Very well-written script with plenty o'thrills. read
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  Quite imaginative
  A review of EVENING FALLS (Revised)
  by ghosttown on 01/24/2005
  I am very impressed as to how much imagination has been put into this screenplay. The way you used magic as one of the main components of this screenplay is quite flawless. You also did a good job in developing the characters of the story, especially when it comes to Sam. However, you have to be careful in putting in names that won't be mentioned in the s-play. One example... I am very impressed as to how much imagination has been put into this screenplay. The way you used magic as one of the main components of this screenplay is quite flawless. You also did a good job in developing the characters of the story, especially when it comes to Sam. However, you have to be careful in putting in names that won't be mentioned in the s-play. One example is Avis. She was only mentioned in the conclusion of the story, but she never made an appearance at all. Don't bother writing down characters or props that won't take part in your story. Unless you have an idea for a sequel. Overall, there's really not much else to fix. The plot is well-structured, and the action is crystal clear. Wonderful job, indeed. read
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  A true gem
  A review of EVENING FALLS (Revised)
  by John Zoroaster on 12/13/2004
  This has got to be one of the most unusual stories that I have ever read. It was very peculiar, and very interesting, and is anything but the usual screenplay. There is quite the backstory to this screenplay, and I am sure that the notes and information would be interesting. The richness and detail and the hint that this screenplays was just touching the surface reminded... This has got to be one of the most unusual stories that I have ever read. It was very peculiar, and very interesting, and is anything but the usual screenplay. There is quite the backstory to this screenplay, and I am sure that the notes and information would be interesting. The richness and detail and the hint that this screenplays was just touching the surface reminded me of my Saviors screenplay, which originally was meant to be a novel, or even a series of novels. What an exotic, mystical world that you have created. I love the fact that you seemed to rip through the ordinary American movie formula in an effort to be original. As writers I feel that it is our duty to stretch the envelope, and strive to function at the top of our game. If this screenplay is not at the top of your game, then I do not know if the world is ready for writing skills at that level, you might unmake the world as effectvely as the wish stone. All kidding aside this was an excellent screenplay and I am a little interested at how the two of you worked so well together. I also notcied that you screenplay has gotten recognition on triggerstreet, which gives me hope that the true cream rises to the top, even here. read
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  Obviously amazing
  A review of EVENING FALLS (Revised)
  by Michelle77 on 12/13/2004
  What can I say other than I just finished your script and I'm crying because of the end. I wouldn't dare critique a script that so obviously needs to be a film, so I'll just gush at it's brilliance. I loved the script, story, character, magic all of it. I loved how you mixed our world with this magical world. It's a great magical story and I assume very LOTR inspired.... What can I say other than I just finished your script and I'm crying because of the end. I wouldn't dare critique a script that so obviously needs to be a film, so I'll just gush at it's brilliance. I loved the script, story, character, magic all of it. I loved how you mixed our world with this magical world. It's a great magical story and I assume very LOTR inspired. Good luck with this script!!! read
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  The Seventh Element
  A review of EVENING FALLS (Revised)
  by **DELETED ACCOUNT** on 12/06/2004
  A wonderfully imaginative and well written tale. Great back story. Maybe a little too reminiscent of LOTR in parts, but certainly with enough original elements as well. A few things about this story, however, kept it from really reaching its full potential. The second act felt a bit flat. You hold off so much information until later (Remsen's speech on p. 69) that for most... A wonderfully imaginative and well written tale. Great back story. Maybe a little too reminiscent of LOTR in parts, but certainly with enough original elements as well. A few things about this story, however, kept it from really reaching its full potential. The second act felt a bit flat. You hold off so much information until later (Remsen's speech on p. 69) that for most of the second act the reader doesn't know what the story is really about. The Evening Stone is really only mentioned on p. 71. This has to come earlier. We should know by the end of the first act what the main element of the story will be: the Evening Stone. As it stands, there is no strong first act break, your second act is a little flat, and the third act feels greatly compressed. This is all just a matter of structure. Every other element of your story works well: The characters, the dialogue, the rules of magic. This could be a fantastic story. LOTR meets Harry Potter. Also, by beefing up your second act you will give Sam more to do. He is far too passive here. And finally, I had a hard time believing that the townsfolk did nothing for all those years when people disappeared into the tobacco field. Why didn't they storm the house with armed men and dogs? read
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  Evening Falls Review
  A review of EVENING FALLS (Revised)
  by Lexey on 11/28/2004
  What an impressive script this is, a real pleasure to be assigned. I don't know what I can possibly say, that probably hasn't already been said. I find it discouraging that this has been hanging around since 2003 and is still not being made. I hope you have considered putting it into book form. Here are my few notes -- 1) Your synopsis does not do this script justice.... What an impressive script this is, a real pleasure to be assigned. I don't know what I can possibly say, that probably hasn't already been said. I find it discouraging that this has been hanging around since 2003 and is still not being made. I hope you have considered putting it into book form. Here are my few notes -- 1) Your synopsis does not do this script justice. 2) pg 60--either keep Murray's dialogue name as Townie 2 or give him a proper intro before he speaks. 3) I like when there are smooth scene transistions such as the one you give on pg 56 --Ax swooshing to log splitting, nice job. 4)great visuals 5)pg 39-not sure how I feel about Solomon exhaling the maggots. It felt too close to the scene from THE MUMMY & also done in something else I've either seen or read, although I can't remember the name. Remsens's exhaling the blue flame felt much more original. 6) I found your ending very moving. 7) You selected ACTION as one of the genres, but in MHO this is not what I'd consider an action film. More horror, although I'm not quite sure that is the best selection either. Wish we had a supernatural category to choose. So, that's my notes, sorry I'm not much help, but it's a great script! Good luck with it. read
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  Interesting Fantasy
  A review of EVENING FALLS (Revised)
  by bivric on 11/26/2004
  I found the concept of this story interesting. The script had a few formatting problems. Being a spec script, there were too many transitions. As far as story telling, the author did a good job, however he did a lot of telling. There were too many action lines. Eliminate everything that the characters can tell us. This script read more like a book than a movie. There... I found the concept of this story interesting. The script had a few formatting problems. Being a spec script, there were too many transitions. As far as story telling, the author did a good job, however he did a lot of telling. There were too many action lines. Eliminate everything that the characters can tell us. This script read more like a book than a movie. There are some interesting characters and their dialogue should have equal footing with the lines of action. The story started out slow, then the pace picked up in the middle. I think that an action script should have a constant pace, like a heartbeat. Some big action should take place at least every 10 pages and then lead us to the next action sequence. But, thats just my opinion. Good luck with your script. read