Reviews of FREE TED'S HEAD (Revised) 37

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  Overall, ted's head works, but...
  A review of FREE TED'S HEAD (Revised)
  by 1959 on 02/15/2005
  First, I think your screenplay is well written. I'm playing producer, but I don't know how wide of an appeal it will have. It's aimed at male baseball fans. That's what I am so I like it. The problem I have is that every character is too witty and articulate. They need to sound different. You have a circle of old timers, Josh and his buddy, and the good doctor. They all have... First, I think your screenplay is well written. I'm playing producer, but I don't know how wide of an appeal it will have. It's aimed at male baseball fans. That's what I am so I like it. The problem I have is that every character is too witty and articulate. They need to sound different. You have a circle of old timers, Josh and his buddy, and the good doctor. They all have an acerbic sense of humor. I see Josh and the doctor having such a sense of humor, but I don't know about the others. The only other negative thing is the title. It's sounds like a silly comedy and this is not that. But outside of these things, good job. read
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  Ted's Head
  A review of FREE TED'S HEAD (Revised)
  by eldread on 02/13/2005
  What I liked most about this script is the concept; I found it to be pretty original. With that being said, I was still lukewram about everything else. The dialogue ran on in some places and some of the jokes really didn't do it for me. The characters were all right for the most part, but I just didn't feel them as much as I'd like to( Sal being the only exception). But please... What I liked most about this script is the concept; I found it to be pretty original. With that being said, I was still lukewram about everything else. The dialogue ran on in some places and some of the jokes really didn't do it for me. The characters were all right for the most part, but I just didn't feel them as much as I'd like to( Sal being the only exception). But please take what I say with a grain of salt (this isn't my favourite genre, or something I'd write, so I'm not sure if I'm the ideal person to be qualifying it) Good concept. Good luck. read
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  Memorable Memorabilia
  A review of FREE TED'S HEAD (Revised)
  by **DELETED ACCOUNT** on 12/27/2004
  While I felt like this was a pretty easy read, I had a little trouble really getting into the story. I’d like to think that has more to do with the fact that the subject matter of baseball memorabilia is not very interesting to me, but in reality, a script that’s really character driven is more universal. I felt like the characters has similar voices (except for Rudy... While I felt like this was a pretty easy read, I had a little trouble really getting into the story. I’d like to think that has more to do with the fact that the subject matter of baseball memorabilia is not very interesting to me, but in reality, a script that’s really character driven is more universal. I felt like the characters has similar voices (except for Rudy and Fusco), and their quirks were a bit too over-the-top. I guess the real issue for me was that the motivation of the main characters was thin. Maybe that’s because I can’t relate to wanting the ultimate memorabilia item, but I think more effort could have sold me on it. Some of the comedy was quite funny, but the comedy that relied on character quirks fell flat for me. I never envisioned actors playing those parts…they never became REAL for me. I never understood why Fusco allowed them to rob him at all, either. And the twist where the old guys turn on the young guys (or was it vice versa?) was confusing to me. All that being said, it was a pretty well-written script, showing a lot of promise. Some of the visuals were very easy to imagine and some of the dialogue rang very true. The descriptions were brief and the script moved very quickly. I’d look forw read
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  Very witty.
  A review of FREE TED'S HEAD (Revised)
  by **DELETED ACCOUNT** on 12/26/2004
  Loved the first half. Liked the second half. Hated what happened to Sal at the end. Great snappy dialogue throughout. I think the reason the second half wasn't as satisfying as the first is because people's motivations aren't properly explained. For example, I think you really need to emphasize that Sal and Jimmie think that Ted was tricked by Fusco into signing up for cryofreezing... Loved the first half. Liked the second half. Hated what happened to Sal at the end. Great snappy dialogue throughout. I think the reason the second half wasn't as satisfying as the first is because people's motivations aren't properly explained. For example, I think you really need to emphasize that Sal and Jimmie think that Ted was tricked by Fusco into signing up for cryofreezing. That's their motivation for wanting to free Ted. Giving him a proper sendoff alone is not enough motivation to do the deed. Especially since Ted did sign up for the process. Fusco really needs to be made more of a bad guy here. The ultimate scam artist that makes Josh and Hank look like amateurs. This is in the script, but really needs to be emphasized way more. Also, I didn't get what Fusco's motivation was in letting Josh and Hank get away with the robbery after they took all his collectibles. Why didn't he call the police? I assumed he had a clever plan that required Josh and Hank to think they actually took the real head. But there wasn't anything like this. Was Fusco's plan all along to get Sal to sign up for cryofreeze? If so, how does the fake head help? Regardless, I really didn't like that Sal signed over his estate to Fusco. Good luck. read
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  Well-written but uneventful
  A review of FREE TED'S HEAD (Revised)
  by Humbert on 11/30/2004
  The premise is good, and the writing is solid (and at times very good). The script is way too slow, however, failing to reach the madcap pace a farce needs to succeed, and failing to develop characters necessary to create a more thoughtful comedy. Solid work all around, it just fails to excel at anything in particular.
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  Free Ted's Head
  A review of FREE TED'S HEAD (Revised)
  by kevkage on 11/29/2004
  Great job, easy read, clever idea - definitely see this one being made. Jokes that I think worked the best: the first comp gumball, Fusco's "Are you going to molest me?", knock on wood/formica, and basically, Fusco's character in general. Very well written, it's hard to write a guy like that and you do a good job making him appear crazy but not stupid. Also props for including... Great job, easy read, clever idea - definitely see this one being made. Jokes that I think worked the best: the first comp gumball, Fusco's "Are you going to molest me?", knock on wood/formica, and basically, Fusco's character in general. Very well written, it's hard to write a guy like that and you do a good job making him appear crazy but not stupid. Also props for including the Chevy Cavalier in there, my poor ride that never gets noticed. A few jokes that I don't think work as well: in the beginning, you talk about the guy going to a Pavement show, which is a cool, hip, not so mainstream band...then the guy says "I can't date a girl who thought Kenny G was a genius..." Kenny G jokes are so old and not funny anymore, maybe say a band that a guy who likes Pavement would hate, like Frank Zappa or something. The biker/shrink gag didn't really do it for me either, too "ba dum ching" for my tastes. And lastly, I know the angle with Hank's S&M comes into play in the end, in an actually very funny bit where he loves getting tied up, but in the beginning, when he first starts talking to Josh about it (and the phone message and all that) I just think it's kind of lame. So maybe just mention it briefly in the beginning. All in all, A-. read
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  Free Ted's Head
  A review of FREE TED'S HEAD (Revised)
  by Blaine Harrison on 11/28/2004
  Overall the story had an interesting premise and I enjoyed the details about cryogenics. However, both the story line and the characters’ motivations needed to be more logical. Throughout the story the characters kept up a constant banter and swapped insults with each other. The intent was to better define the characters; however since it was consistent with all the characters... Overall the story had an interesting premise and I enjoyed the details about cryogenics. However, both the story line and the characters’ motivations needed to be more logical. Throughout the story the characters kept up a constant banter and swapped insults with each other. The intent was to better define the characters; however since it was consistent with all the characters it had the opposite effect. The dialog was especially similar for Hank and Josh or Sal and Jimmie. In addition some of the jests were repeated several times. (i.e. Cap being a bad driver and the bondage angle of Hank’s fiancé). The story also seemed to contain a few inconsistent story lines. For instance: when Jimmie had Hank tied up and then fails to retie him after he accidentally shoots him; the fake shooting of Cap seemed out of place; and how did Cap and Sal have the resources to own or rent a limo and private jet? The most illogical situation is Sal’s suicide. Why did Sal commit suicide at this time? Why did he address his suicide note to Josh whom he had an antagonistic relationship with and did not know very well. If this suicide was a pivotal point in the screenplay it should have been addressed earlier. read
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  AND HEADING FOR HOME
  A review of FREE TED'S HEAD (Revised)
  by HeatMiser on 11/12/2004
  A lot of surprising twists and turns and some of the best dialogue I've read on this site. Josh and Hank are a great team and their relationship with Sal works really well. I like a lot of the unconventional decisions the author made, the whole subject matter for starters, the anti-heroic actions of the protagonists, and the somewhat ill-defined but understandable relationship... A lot of surprising twists and turns and some of the best dialogue I've read on this site. Josh and Hank are a great team and their relationship with Sal works really well. I like a lot of the unconventional decisions the author made, the whole subject matter for starters, the anti-heroic actions of the protagonists, and the somewhat ill-defined but understandable relationship between Josh and Jessica. In some scripts, this would be a negative, but given the dark undertones of Ted's Head, they are pitch perfect. I think the ending could use a little tightening up - some of the characters' motivations seemed hazy to me, but over all, a really fun read. read
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  Funny Story
  A review of FREE TED'S HEAD (Revised)
  by jl11210 on 11/12/2004
  I did not read the production notes and read using word, so I won't comment on the formate and assume it was crap, just kidding. The story was very amusing and the one liners were great and executed well and I like how it turned into a dark comedy at the end when we realize the Doc was collecting bodies. The characters are also good, but even though Josh and Hank are die hard... I did not read the production notes and read using word, so I won't comment on the formate and assume it was crap, just kidding. The story was very amusing and the one liners were great and executed well and I like how it turned into a dark comedy at the end when we realize the Doc was collecting bodies. The characters are also good, but even though Josh and Hank are die hard collectors, it was kind of odd that Sal knew they were criminals and would rob the cyroginic lab. There is a few grammar problems just read the paper out loud to spot them. I don't know if the script will be any good though since the Red Sox finally won so Sal's dream about winning for the reds to break the curse might sound silly. I'm a Yankee but Good job. read
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  FREE TED'S HEAD REVIEW
  A review of FREE TED'S HEAD (Revised)
  by snoopy1239 on 11/11/2004
  This is a cute quirky story which is wellwritten by a writer who obviously knows how to compose a sound screenplay. I thought the dialogue was excellent. It was short, snappy, and had plenty of fluidity. Each character had their own voice and there were some effective banta thrown into the mix. Technically, your script is hard to critisize and it would provide all beginners... This is a cute quirky story which is wellwritten by a writer who obviously knows how to compose a sound screenplay. I thought the dialogue was excellent. It was short, snappy, and had plenty of fluidity. Each character had their own voice and there were some effective banta thrown into the mix. Technically, your script is hard to critisize and it would provide all beginners a good solid template for how to format their script. Being a Brit, baseball doesn't really get my juices flowing, which perhaps is why I wasn't over-awed by your screenplay. Although I found it mildly amusing, and a nice enjoyable romp, this is as about as far as it went for me. There were some effective twists, but, personally, I was never really gripped by what you wrote. I wouldn't take this too seriously though, as that is just me, and I feel plenty of readers will see this as right hoot, and I would be able to understand why. If I had to make a minor critism, it may be that 113 pages is just slightly too long for a screenplay of this nature. I say this as I felt it dragged a little near the end. Also, I was never totally convinced by Jimmie and Sal's ages. Good stuff and I wish you all the luck for the future. read