Reviews of Greatest Hits 31

• 
  It's the (s) h--t!
  A review of Greatest Hits
  by cyberscribe on 11/17/2006
  I liked it! The reason I was interested in reading your sp is that I'm doing my own 'mob anthology' comedy piece, but thankfully, the two will be completely dissimilar. I really liked your premise and especially, the way in which you were able to give each character a distinctive voice, not always easy to do in mob movies. If I had one criticism, it would be that the three... I liked it! The reason I was interested in reading your sp is that I'm doing my own 'mob anthology' comedy piece, but thankfully, the two will be completely dissimilar. I really liked your premise and especially, the way in which you were able to give each character a distinctive voice, not always easy to do in mob movies. If I had one criticism, it would be that the three aren't the protagonists in their hit stories, which made me wonder why exactly Tony, Frankie and Mutt were "invited" in the first place. But, I liked the pace, loved the writing and although I wasn't completley surprised by any of the 'twists', I still appreciated the effort that went into creating them. I could see this being a 'guilty pleasure' movie that I would want to own and break out on a rainy day. If you guys write another draft, how about adding a little female presence...all that testosterone and no where to put it, well, that's just wrong!
  Good stuff, best of luck with it! read
• 
  Greatest Hits Review
  A review of Greatest Hits
  by afc1 on 05/16/2006
  I enjoyed the piece, I found it easy to read and liked the individual stories that were told. I think all of the stories would be a little better suited if they were all tied together though. That way an ere of mystery would be about them as to why these three were actually together, beside the fact that they had associations with famous hits. In the beginning and end I would... I enjoyed the piece, I found it easy to read and liked the individual stories that were told. I think all of the stories would be a little better suited if they were all tied together though. That way an ere of mystery would be about them as to why these three were actually together, beside the fact that they had associations with famous hits.
  
  In the beginning and end I would not say how the credits were to run I would leave that up to the director. I have had many great ideas about how the credit sequence would play out and even the score I wanted to use. I just try to write the script in such a manner that it would make sense that “this is where it begins�, “this is where it ends� instead of getting my sp dumped because I stepped on some high and mighty toes.
  
  I liked the twist with the first story. Well thought out. But I think the girls would smell the alcohol on his breath. Page 15
  
  Problem on page 65. You have cd’s sitting on the floor of the radio station. The time period for that story is circa 1976 and cd’s did not exist then. 8 tracks would work better.
  
  Page 77 The bed and breakfast where is it? The townspeople seem to just appear out of no where. Is everyone in Vermont, or is the B&B just that close to Mapleglow?
  
  Page 82 Mutt steps into the room but the next paragraph he is standing in the doorway scanning the room trying to figure out how the door works. Does he step back into the doorway or only steps up to the doorway?
  
  Page 102 In Calbreeze’s dialog you have and action sequence that needs to be moved. Unless you want Calbreeze to actually say that Valentine turns and leaves (little humor there).
  
  I like the small subtle foreshadow with the ice cube red streaks. That was good.
  
  Only question is who hired “the hat� and what was the hit for? My reason for suggesting that the stories all tied together somehow. This would not leave the audience with the question “Why the hit?� Or explain that that “The Hat� is looking to make name for himself by taking out these three greats out a little better. However, these three were only associated with the hits and never actually did them personally. Potential problem there. When looking at it from that angle, why were they taken out?
  
  As for characters I enjoyed Valentine the most. He was the most colorful of all and when compared to the rest he seems the most rounded. If all the characters could be that way this script in my opinion would be a sure winner. read
• 
  Review of Greatest Hits
  A review of Greatest Hits
  by AlCielo on 05/15/2006
  This is a satisfying, savvy anthology-format film. Satisfying because there's a human theme to each, and a connecting sensibility. Savvy because it refers to the gangster film tradition without aping it. Great preparation and revising have paid off richly. Structure works fine, thanks to the common theme. More importantly, the 3 stories are sequenced to build momentum and... This is a satisfying, savvy anthology-format film. Satisfying because there's a human theme to each, and a connecting sensibility. Savvy because it refers to the gangster film tradition without aping it. Great preparation and revising have paid off richly.
  
  Structure works fine, thanks to the common theme. More importantly, the 3 stories are sequenced to build momentum and audience identification. The final twist works fine, but I would've appreciated a little build-up for Joey and his plan.
  
  Each of the 3 stories has a interesting, complex character (or group of characters). The first story would be a little stronger (and the irony more touching) if you made Terrance more sympathetic before the last scene.
  
  Great dialogue--never too long or artificial.
  
  Good pacing esp. in middle and final sequences. I really like that the hit people (the actual slayers) get more sympathetic from story to story, as do the 3 retired hit men.
  
  Quibbles:
  
  Intro is a slow read--minimize effects and either maximize character development of the 3 retirees and bartender, or just get to the stories.
  
  If Terrance was going to disappear after the kidnapping (p. 25), why wouldn't he just disappear in the first place? I know he's not a rational guy, but anyone in his shoes would have thought out that he'd have no greater advantage after the kidnapping than before.
  
  Minor point: Not sure, but I don't think "animal companions" was a popular phrase in the 70's.
  
  Quite a few typos for a script with such story polish; only one error in format (p. 102 Valentine turns to leave)
  
  Best wishes with the next step. read
• 
  Greatest Hits
  A review of Greatest Hits
  by arby on 03/05/2006
  This was an unexpected pleasure. It was inspired storytelling from beginning to the hilarious end. Each of your vignettes was handled with care and skill. The first, in which Terrance kidnaps Kimberly to cancel out his debt ,was sweet and sad. My one suggestion would be to carry it on a little longer, take a little more time showing them bonding. I thought Terrance... This was an unexpected pleasure. It was inspired storytelling from beginning to the hilarious end.
  
  Each of your vignettes was handled with care and skill.
  
  The first, in which Terrance kidnaps Kimberly to cancel out his debt ,was sweet and sad.
  My one suggestion would be to carry it on a little longer, take a little more time showing them bonding. I thought Terrance told Kimberly he would go to Montreal a little too
  soon, at a point where he would still be too guarded to trust her. It was truly touching though the way she manipulated his last thought into being a pleasant one. Very good.
  
  The second, was also very good. I think you did a great job with the secret town and it's inhabitants and how Tucci became Tucker. I was confused in the beginning with Danny talking to Frankie from the phone booth. He was outside of the cider stand and Frankie and the old man were inside, right? Why didn't he just go in? I also didn't like naming the sheriff Opie Taylor, it just seemed beneath the brilliant originality of the rest of the piece. The characters of this town were so well portrayed that it was believable they could scare the mob into staying away. Also, the DJ was the perfect touch.
  
  And onto the third. My personal favorite.
  The exchanges between Mutt and Valentine were hilarious. Valentine was
  a memorable character-- the killer with a soft spot for animals-- great.
  
  Mutt tells Valentine to get cleaned up, "You see Calbreeze first thing in the morning,
  don't be late". Then he says "Get cleaned up, the new boss wants to see you.
  Does he want to see him immediately or in the morning? Minor, but worth mentioning.
  And the ending with Valentine the Vet, was a perfect ending to a near perfect screenplay.
  There are a few more minor things you might want to address:
  On a couple of occasions you confuse to, two, and too.
  The action lines tend to get a bit wordy at times.
  On page 103, you've got action in the dialogue.
  pee'd for peed
  Ralph is very dead. Mr. D is very dead-- You can get away with it once, but I don't know about twice.
  
  The few things I've taken issue with have been small, because you have truly done a beautiful job. I don't think I've had a more pleasurable read. read
• 
  Hits and Miss
  A review of Greatest Hits
  by rsphillips44 on 03/03/2006
  This is a fresh approach to time worn material. Next to vampire films, I think I could go the longest without seeing a mafia flick. On the other hand, there's two things about this script that I like quite a bit: focusing on hitmen, and the anthology format - something we don't get enough of these days. I like the idea of the Greatest Hits theme bar, complete with secret... This is a fresh approach to time worn material. Next to vampire films, I think I could go the longest without seeing a mafia flick. On the other hand, there's two things about this script that I like quite a bit: focusing on hitmen, and the anthology format - something we don't get enough of these days. I like the idea of the Greatest Hits theme bar, complete with secret rundown neighborhood locale and hidden entryway.
  
  Overall, it's well-written. Nothing much to say about the nuts and bolts of crafting - at least we've got competent handling of the English language, which isn't always the case on TS. The dialogue and characters are about par for the course with this sub-genre. This SP has been up awhile, so I imagine by now the smattering of typos and incidental errors have been pointed out and addressed. If not, naturally be aware this version of the file contains a few things to be proofread & corrected; an occasional missing space, an instance of action description appearing in dialogue (102).
  
  But to my mind, it's not quite there. My main objection is that these 3 legends get together in a Hall of Fame, seem to have professional competitive dislike for one another, but then proceed to tell tales that don't have much to do with themselves. Maybe that seems cliche, but ultimately we don't get to know much of the characters. Especially with Tony and Frankie. Mutt is somewhat more involved with his story, but even his tale has other principals. I would just think it natural for these guys' instinct to be to compare 12-pounders and one-up each other than to tell wacky tales of mafia lore.
  
  The TS page for this script lists "comedy" as a genre here, but it's not terribly funny. The script is engaging enough and the characters are interesting enough, but I never found myself laughing. That's not a problem in and of itself, except that it makes you wonder whether the writers see their stories differently than they play.
  
  And, for me, the second tale doesn't work at all. This seems like a Twilight Zone episode, and it's quite removed from the mafia theme. The idea of a killer with a vendetta tracking down a recluse in a stange Vermont town is more the stuff of Stephen King than Mario Puzo. A slightly different background for the characters, and the story could very well play the same.
  
  But, let's say the whole mafia hitman thing could use a fresh approach. It's still a troubled tale. It's the kind of thing that seems clever momentarily until you start to think much about it. WHY would Sally actually help a hitman find the town, rather than give bogus directions and let him get hopelessly lost? I didn't buy that this town would accept the trade-off of having this benefactor with such a deeply troubled past, who will bring death and destruction into their midst, simply because he saved a little girl from drowning and seems a nice guy. It's an unwarranted gamble, as the events of the tale illustrate - with several of the innocent townfolk getting caught in the crossfire. It's a high cost for the townfolk, who have to become a trained army to ward off mafia professionals invading their idyllic setting. It seems convenient that of all the gin joints in all Vermont, Danny asks for directions in her cider store.
  
  My two cents. Good luck with it. read
• 
  Good idea. Frequent, but difficult execution
  A review of Greatest Hits
  by drumfish on 02/23/2006
  A fair attempt at satire is often a confusing story with often illogical dialogue. There are attempts at humor that occasionally work. The scene descriptions are significantly overworded. Difficult to imagine the degree and vividness of violence being acceptable to any audience. The part that takes place in Vermont is fairly strong, and remeniscent of the film, Nothing But... A fair attempt at satire is often a confusing story with often illogical dialogue. There are attempts at humor that occasionally work. The scene descriptions are significantly overworded. Difficult to imagine the degree and vividness of violence being acceptable to any audience. The part that takes place in Vermont is fairly strong, and remeniscent of the film, Nothing But Trouble with Dan Ackroyd, John Candy, Demi Moore, Chevy Chase. All in all a somewhat interesting premise. read
• 
  A Good Idea poorly executed
  A review of Greatest Hits
  by wridget on 02/21/2006
  This screenplay has a very sound concept, and some good characters, some interesting twists and turns, but unfortunately it doesn't have any real plot to hang it all on. It starts off well - although you explain the landscape WAY too much. You take pains to describe a street we only see once, and mention two businesses that never come into play at all. All we really needed... This screenplay has a very sound concept, and some good characters, some interesting twists and turns, but unfortunately it doesn't have any real plot to hang it all on. It starts off well - although you explain the landscape WAY too much. You take pains to describe a street we only see once, and mention two businesses that never come into play at all. All we really needed to know was that it was a rundown neighborhood with a laundromat. The rest is superfluous.
  
  The initial meeting of the three hitmen is very well done, and got me excited about where this script might go. Unfortunately, it didn't seem to go anywhere. The fact that three hardened professionals would spill their guts to each other without the slightest provocation - and about some pretty dicey family secrets - was a bit hard to swallow. I could understand shop talk, but with the exception of Mutt, these were pretty big revelations that I couldn't see loyal members of disparate gangs talking out of school about. But an audience will set things like that aside if it takes them somewhere interesting, so I let it slide. And yes, this script does take us to some interesting places, but failed to become a cohesive piece of work.
  
  I think the main reason, for me at least, was because you seem to squander your main characters. You tell us that they're three of the most badass hit men ever, and establish them as the leads, so naturally we want to see them in action, maybe see how they earned their reputations. You establish a nice sense of anticipation as to what these guys were like, but don't deliver on it. All three of them are relegated small supporting roles in their own stories - and that's really what ruined this for me. We are introduced to three great hit men, but never see one of them actually kill someone. Mutt comes close, but ultimately lets someone else do the dirty work. In the beginning, they promise to be interesting characters, but end up as mostly just plot devices. The really interesting characters end up being Kim, Danny, and Valentine, who each show up once and disappear. So the only recurring characters are just narrators of the interesting parts, with little life in or connection to the stories they are telling.
  
  Which leads me to the problem with the point of view. Most of the stories Tony, Frankie, and Mutt tell contain huge portions that they didn't see personally - aka the long conversations between Terrance and Kim, the entire body of Frankie's tale, and most of the stuff with Valentine. How did they find this stuff out? Did these other characters tell them? It's confusing, and keeps the stories from having the clear focal point they could have. This might be able to be fixed by adding a voiceover structure to the proceedings. Maybe if we heard where they got their information, and were exposed to their points of view and personalities in the tellings of these stories, things would come out better.
  
  The stories themselves were interesting, but there was no linking plot strand to give these events any importance. Perhaps if certain characters showed up throughout the different narratives in different ways . . . but as it stands, I didn't quite get why I was supposed to care. The production notes call this a collaboration between three people, but it feels more like three separate films roughly tied together. All three stories exist in their own bubble. Nothing spills out into anything else, which keeps the script from having any real momentum.
  
  Tony's tale suffered a good deal from the fractured point of view mentioned earlier, but also falls prey to a lot of really overblown and unbelievable dialogue between Kim and Terrance. It's a good story, with a interesting relationship at it's core, but it just seems a little too obviously "written".
  
  Frankie's tale probably had the most suspense of the three. It really keeps you guessing, and is quite interesting, but it's also the most out of place. The rest of the film feels like a mob movie. This part is an episode of the Twilight Zone. It's just a little too far fetched to fit in with the gritty reality of the other two. An entire town lets itself be turned into a man's own private little kingdom/hideout because he saves one little girl's life? Sure, it's an act of heroism, but not exactly grounds for divorcing yourself entirely from the rest of the world. What happens toward the end, though, was a nice touch - the very person he saved to secure this whole lifestyle ends up dying because of his presence there. Wonderful poetic irony. But I couldn't help but wish you had taken that a little further. Perhaps the spell is broken when this happens - and the townspeople turn on their one time benefactor now that the act of heroism that founded the whole thing ends up being a wasted act? Just a thought. Danny was a very strong character, by the way, and I actually felt a little sorry for his demise. Good job on that.
  
  In my opinion, you really saved the best for last. Mutt's story was undoubtedly my favorite. It reminded me a whole lot of the old Damon Runyan stories of the thirties and forties. Colorful hitmen with very colloquial speech and surprising soft spots in strange ways. Good stuff. It also comes the closest to the three of really involving and establishing the character of the man who's telling the story. Sure, Valentine is the focal point, but Mutt's friendship with Valentine allows for that, and it is Mutt who instigates the major action at the end because of that friendship, whereas Tony and Frankie never really acted, but only reacted to the actions of others. I do think this part could go that extra mile if we saw a bit more of Mutt's relationship with Mr. D, though. you tell us that Mr. D gave Mutt his name, and practically raised him, but we don't see any of that. Perhaps if we did, there would be just that much more emotional impact.
  
  Finally, the ending was pretty pointless and not just a little predictable. We expect something to be up from the beginning, and that's fine. But that something is completely unconnected to the three stories we've just heard. Perhaps if we saw Marettezio show up in some capacity in those stories - maybe as a rival in one, a protege in another, then the ending would feel more like a logical conclusion and less like a random act.
  
  The bottom line is, it's a good concept. But not a story. Perhaps some closer collaboration could change that. read
• 
  Greatest Hits Review
  A review of Greatest Hits
  by Lexey on 02/20/2006
  I'm finding this to be a difficult review. In fact, I've put it off for 2 days, to give it more thought - which didn't help. Well, to start, I was entertained by the majority of it. The dialogue is exceptional - among the best I've read on TS. But what concerned me (and this is just MHO) was this -- My first thought (from pg 1-36) was -- this would make a great stage play!... I'm finding this to be a difficult review. In fact, I've put it off for 2 days, to give it more thought - which didn't help.
  
  Well, to start, I was entertained by the majority of it. The dialogue is exceptional - among the best I've read on TS.
  
  But what concerned me (and this is just MHO) was this --
  
  My first thought (from pg 1-36) was -- this would make a great stage play! After now completing the read, I still think it would, although you'd need to replace the "Fall In Vermont" story and make the "Dog Eat Dog" story more suitable for the stage. I could really see "THE GREATEST HITS" with these old hitmen, truly being inducted into the Hitman Hall Of Fame, sharing their tales.
  
  My second thought was - that I'd love to see "Mapleglow" developed into the feature length screenplay. This was my favorite part of the script. Bring this town and its people to life. I want to know more about them.
  
  And my final thought was - I don't care for the ending. I need more of a reason for the Bartender hitman to do this. More of a connection between the 3 stories and a person somehow involved in all 3 that would be seeking revenge, a reason to put a hit out on all 3.
  
  A few nit-picking page notes during the read --
  
  Pg 1 - My first reaction is - wow- there are a lot of words. Are they all necessary? On page 3 I feel like we are given 3 introductions to these hitman. The 1st small intro when they step out of the car, the 2nd by name and the 3rd by SUPER. Can't you just give the SUPER as each step out of the car, and then pick up with the "as if choreographed..."
  
  Pg 45 - Show us something that will tell us that several hours has past.
  
  Pg 86 - An etra slug line (3rd) not needed.
  
  Pg 102 - You have an action line -- Valentine turns to leave inside Calbreeze's dialogue block.
  
  Pg 114 - Don't think you should name Calbreeze's other hitman Tony, because of Tony the Thumb.
  
  Well, that's all I have to offer, and it's only my humble opinion. read
• 
  Engaging
  A review of Greatest Hits
  by Dana George on 01/05/2006
  For the most part, I enjoyed your script. I felt it was extremely well written and painted a number of vivid pictures. There isn't much I can say constructively since I'm not sure what you'd need to change. Initially, I thought you were going for a more Rashomon approach, telling the Terrence story from three different perspectives. Which I have to admit got me kinda jazzed... For the most part, I enjoyed your script. I felt it was extremely well written and painted a number of vivid pictures. There isn't much I can say constructively since I'm not sure what you'd need to change. Initially, I thought you were going for a more Rashomon approach, telling the Terrence story from three different perspectives. Which I have to admit got me kinda jazzed since we haven't seen a lot of that storytelling technique. When this didn't happen, it was easy to shift focus to the next story (which was probably my favorite) but (and here's where my only criticism comes in) since the setup of the script was comedic and the Terrence tale was not, I thought the humor for the rest of the script would come in with retelling of that tale. Did that make sense? Of course, this is totally subjective. And again, once I realized this I was engaged but I'd think about maybe whittling down the humor of the beginning. Otherwise, thanks for the good read. read
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  Entertaining to a fault.
  A review of Greatest Hits
  by Something Witty on 01/03/2006
  I must say, I thought the title was great. The concept is origional and the charaters are pretty unique, when you come down to it. I'd always wanted to see a hitman who refused to kill animals and Valentine was exactly how I pictured him. The only real problem that I had with the project in all its glory is the lack of any moral, theme or resolution. Sure, you could open it... I must say, I thought the title was great. The concept is origional and the charaters are pretty unique, when you come down to it. I'd always wanted to see a hitman who refused to kill animals and Valentine was exactly how I pictured him. The only real problem that I had with the project in all its glory is the lack of any moral, theme or resolution. Sure, you could open it up for a sequal but what would be the point? In my opinion, a little more direction would be needed if I were to walk out of the theater feeling that my money was well spent. Keen jokes, decent action, origional situations. Great writing, but in my opinion it should be spent on something a little more worth-while. read