Reviews of PETER I 27

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  Poetic and epic drama.
  A review of PETER I
  by Dannie on 03/27/2005
  Beautiful and superbly written story. Russian history is still exotic to the world of film and after reading this script, I truly believe there is a well of culturally important stories that need to be tapped into here. The story of Peter is an epic historical drama bringing us into a world we rarely get to see. The reoccurring thematic imagery begins right from the opening... Beautiful and superbly written story. Russian history is still exotic to the world of film and after reading this script, I truly believe there is a well of culturally important stories that need to be tapped into here. The story of Peter is an epic historical drama bringing us into a world we rarely get to see. The reoccurring thematic imagery begins right from the opening scenes: dark stormy water and starless skies, a country where a baby may be killed because it is deformed, because it is a burden too difficult to bare, a boy who is the incarnation of this turmoil. We're introduced to Peter as a child dreaming of ships while tumultuous politics stir up the people around his father's deathbed. The theme of ships continue throughout Peter's life, they are one of the only bright spots in this character's dark life.
  
  The depiction of Peter's childhood in exhile, as Sophia steals his birth right, builds for us a compelling character who will one day be czar of Russia. I love the way he and Catherine meet, the imagery continues with poetic resonance. Even Menshikov's introduction gives us depth to Peter's motives "Happiness does not lie in chocolate." He's not motivated by wealth. Even the way Peter plays as a child indicates he's a leader of men, a lion cub whose play fighting will make him leader of the pride when he grows.
  
  I love Peter's restlessness, he has a mesmerizing edge which makes him a character well worth watching and presents intriguing questions- Is he vengeful? Is he a master tactition? Is he crazy? The moment when he meets General Gordon for the first time is of great signifigance, it forecasts his future- it shows us that he is already building for it. Peter is fascinating, an amazing role for any actor who gets to play him.
  
  The moment where Peter defeats Sophia and takes the Russian crown needs to have more impact. Though there is conflict between him and Sophia, her relinquishing of the crown comes at a time in the script where they appear to have an equal number of supporters and instead of the protracted battle we're expecting, Peter suddenly has the throne. We need to see her defeat more clearly, be it battles or politics, it has to standout. Sophia gives up too easily.
  
  Ivan disappears early in this story. His character is muted, we don't know how old he is when the story opens and we don't know how he fits other than he's Sophia's puppet and only real link to the throne. As an audience, it would be nice to know more about him.
  
  I love the imagery generated by Peter watching the sea, good symbolism. Dionisys hovers like a bad omen. The toy soldier is RoseBud.
  
  The only other criticisms I could level at this story have to do with the characters of Catherine and Eudoxia, neither of their character arcs are completed, we still have questions about them. What pushed Eudoxia to drive a wedge between Alex and Peter? What happened after Peter pushes her away? What happens to her when Alex dies? For Catherine I would like to see more of how she views Peter. Like Peter, we sometimes doubt that it love, what draws her to this man? How does she feel when he marries Eudoxia? How does she feel about Peter's building of a city? About their children? Like the ships and sailing, Catherine was the only other beautiful part of Peter's life, she was the sanctity that drew him out of the abyss that vengence placed him in, what did Peter give her?
  
  This is a beautiful and powerful story told with poetry and emotion, it portrays the demons that haunt the driven- the men who accomplish great things and yet find no peace in their time. Peter was a tortured soul who's efforts echo into our time.
  
  Though the camera directions are supposed to be a no-no, but they suit the imagery that is telling this story and conjours up a directing style that Ridley Scott used in the Gladiator. This could be a beautiful and compelling film in the right hands.
  Beautiful for a first draft, I'd love to see this as a film. read
• 
  Epic story... Epic Length
  A review of PETER I
  by iceeis on 03/01/2005
  I really had a tough time getting into this. The first act was a little confusing. I didn't quite understand what was going on and what the focus of the story was. The biggest problem Historical epics need to overcome is to tell a story, not attempt to simply show history. The power struggle between Peter and Sophia felt like I was just watching it happen, not living the life... I really had a tough time getting into this. The first act was a little confusing. I didn't quite understand what was going on and what the focus of the story was. The biggest problem Historical epics need to overcome is to tell a story, not attempt to simply show history. The power struggle between Peter and Sophia felt like I was just watching it happen, not living the life of Peter. I didn't get a clear sense of what each side had to offer, and why people wanted to follow Peter. I didn't know what Peter's motivations were. The dialogue was very long winded and had many large speeches that need to be trimmed. At 136 pages, reading this was a chore (especially considering how much longer it would be if it were formatted at the recommended 4 line max narrative paragraphs). Perhaps this script might be better served if you began around Page 32, when Peter ascends the throne. That is when, I felt, the story really began. You did an excellent job explaining things visually between characters (the music box, the chess/politics lesson, etc). The characters were good, though many to keep track of. I didn't know anything about Peter the Great before this script, but I certainly do now. Thanks and good luck! read
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  More like a novel than a script
  A review of PETER I
  by rmahler on 02/25/2005
  You need to reduce your language to make this more script-like and less novel-like. For instance, “The PATRIARCH sits motionless by the frosty window, with a cross in his hands, like a specter of death.” If you change that to something a little simpler “The PATRIARCH sits by the frosty window, a cross in his hands.” Don’t get me wrong. I enjoy the description,... You need to reduce your language to make this more script-like and less novel-like. For instance, “The PATRIARCH sits motionless by the frosty window, with a cross in his hands, like a specter of death.” If you change that to something a little simpler “The PATRIARCH sits by the frosty window, a cross in his hands.” Don’t get me wrong. I enjoy the description, but screenplays need to be a little more brief. You should also remove references to tracking, camera and POV as they are not necessary in a spec script. Also, don’t CAPITALIZE everything. As far as the story is concerned, it is very difficult to make history gripping. I think you started out well, but the script drags in certain places (when he first meets Catherine, for example). Also, the dialogue needs to be less wordy. I understand the need for it having a certain tone to it, but keep it consistent. Some of it seemed out of place, (when MENSHIKOV told the drunk musician he would ram an arrow up his ass, for example.) I know this is a first draft, so I'll be kind. You need to do some major editing to reduce the unneeded bulk in the descriptions and long dialog passages. When that is done, your story will move quicker and the whole script will be improved. read
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  A Miasma of Poetic Imagery
  A review of PETER I
  by miriamp on 02/19/2005
  This monumental story of Peter the Great has gotten lost in a confusion of overly poetic and literary language and disorganized descriptions of both character and action. The entire screenplay is passive with the constant use of "we" for the audience. Emotions are told in long, poetic passages, rather than shown in the terse, spare language of the screenplay. The ambush... This monumental story of Peter the Great has gotten lost in a confusion of overly poetic and literary language and disorganized descriptions of both character and action. The entire screenplay is passive with the constant use of "we" for the audience. Emotions are told in long, poetic passages, rather than shown in the terse, spare language of the screenplay. The ambush in the mist and the slaughter in Red Square could have had more impact if the language had been used more efficiently. CAPS are used at random. Each character should have a unique name, should be introduced in CAPS and referred to in lower case after that. Introducing them as "a young, innocent girl" or a "silvery-haired old man" forces the reader to search for the nuggets of information hidden among the poetry. The described camera movement with the audience flying and gliding and rising adds nothing to the story and is not done correctly. The writer should stick to spare scene description and leave camera placement up to the camera operator. Description should be limited to what can be directly seen and heard, and characters should not be described in literary style. Good characters and dialogue. read
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  Peter, why so long?
  A review of PETER I
  by eldread on 02/18/2005
  What a massive undertaking writing this script must have been. 135 pages! 135 pages of extremely descriptive writing no less. It took me 1 hour to read the first 35 pages and to my shock/horror/surprise I still had 100 more to go. If it wasn't for the caliber and creativity of your writing I would have given up. My friend, unless Ridley Scott or a big time producer like Joel... What a massive undertaking writing this script must have been. 135 pages! 135 pages of extremely descriptive writing no less. It took me 1 hour to read the first 35 pages and to my shock/horror/surprise I still had 100 more to go. If it wasn't for the caliber and creativity of your writing I would have given up. My friend, unless Ridley Scott or a big time producer like Joel Silver attaches himself to this, I'm afraid some trimming is in order. You could easily tell the same story in only 115 pages. With all that being said you do have a very strong script with dialogue a lot of people only wish they could write. Another bonus of having such a long script is the fact that you are able to develop some truly wonderful characters. There is no doubt that you have an incredible ability when it comes to writing, but you have to scale it back with this one. I can only hope I get 5 credits for reviewing this. read
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  Professional Work
  A review of PETER I
  by jokermik on 02/13/2005
  I never get tired of these stories especially when written by someone who should be writing for a major studio. Not that this alone makes Peter I a great piece of work but I can see why something this well done would rise to the top in a pro environement. What the hell are you doing in Norway?! Don't apologize for the length of the script. Most films in this genre exceed 135... I never get tired of these stories especially when written by someone who should be writing for a major studio. Not that this alone makes Peter I a great piece of work but I can see why something this well done would rise to the top in a pro environement. What the hell are you doing in Norway?! Don't apologize for the length of the script. Most films in this genre exceed 135 pages. read
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  Surreal, strong imagery, very intense
  A review of PETER I
  by MSylvia on 02/06/2005
  This is probably the best script I've read here so far. The dialogue is excellent, and the dark tone and bloodier parts gives it a very creepy feel, almost, at times, like a horror movie.. That said, it does have some problems. The descriptions tend to read more like a novel than a script, and while the visual images it presented were very powerful, this at times weakens it... This is probably the best script I've read here so far. The dialogue is excellent, and the dark tone and bloodier parts gives it a very creepy feel, almost, at times, like a horror movie.. That said, it does have some problems. The descriptions tend to read more like a novel than a script, and while the visual images it presented were very powerful, this at times weakens it. Also, the dialogue was almost all intensely dramatic, which I think could have been toned down a bit in parts. Overall, I would have liked to see more historical explanation of the period and the forces at play here. The final effect is that it does read a bit choppy, at times almost seeming disjointed. This could be either a strength or a weakness, depending on how it would be translated into film. I'm still giving it a thumbs up, though I think some careful editing would make this a smoother read. read
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  Peter I
  A review of PETER I
  by **DELETED ACCOUNT** on 01/30/2005
  The first act of this is magnificent, very humbling in style and story. I'm not familiar with the source material, but it seems much less time was put into it as a screenplay in the second act than the first, and it's a very long second act. I know it's a first draft, so some general comments 1) Much could be cut or combined to pick up the pace. Since the real antag is internal,... The first act of this is magnificent, very humbling in style and story. I'm not familiar with the source material, but it seems much less time was put into it as a screenplay in the second act than the first, and it's a very long second act. I know it's a first draft, so some general comments 1) Much could be cut or combined to pick up the pace. Since the real antag is internal, this is all the more important. An epic usually has a powerful external force that drives the plot, and for good reason. Because there isn't one consistent force, that slows the pace. Some of the dialogue could also be trimmed and scenes could be cut. Since when imported into Final Draft or Sophocles, it comes out at 155, 156 pages, this VERY long. I quit reading frequently and had to force myself to finish it. That despite the fact that the writing is so well done. An epic will have a lot of visuals and imagery, but they are interweaved within the plot, usually the battle against evil. Since that is lacking, it sometimes reads like episodes rather than one compelling story. And it is episodic in a way because we move from madness to madness. Cut about 20-30 pages and develop a stronger through-line and this could be great. read
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  You are forgiven...
  A review of PETER I
  by Norman1 on 01/23/2005
  Wonderful, beautiful and poetic. Before I get into my review I would like to say, I appreciate, respect and admire that your children characters spoke with intelligence and insight. Just like your adult characters. It seems that here in America many critics have a problem with children that speak like adults (that may explain our/Americas’ current leadership situation) Contrary... Wonderful, beautiful and poetic. Before I get into my review I would like to say, I appreciate, respect and admire that your children characters spoke with intelligence and insight. Just like your adult characters. It seems that here in America many critics have a problem with children that speak like adults (that may explain our/Americas’ current leadership situation) Contrary to popular belief children are supposed to be smart. A very ambitious story that I liked a great deal. Great use of language and visual dialogue. Try not to misunderstand my critique. This is an amazing first draft. Great story telling that reads more like a novel than a screenplay. However beautiful the language is during the Action/Scene description I feel that it just may be too much for a screenplay. It made it a very difficult and tiring read. Try some objective editing and story structuring. The sudden wedding to Eudoxia confused me-I was not aware of his strong obedience to his mother. Clarification may be needed. I did not know for sure that Sophia was his sister until pg30. In addition it was unclear how and why she came into power. The relationships between characters should be established via dialdialogue not in the action. E mail me for mor read
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  A script truly deserving to be made into a film
  A review of PETER I
  by **DELETED ACCOUNT** on 01/19/2005
  "Peter I" is easily one of the best scripts I've ever read. Personally, I have little interest in Russian history, so when I intially started reading I feared the worst. The screenplay ended up being too good to put down however and I got caught up in the superb storytelling. The author masterfully crafted this biography of Peter the Great and it came across as flawless... "Peter I" is easily one of the best scripts I've ever read. Personally, I have little interest in Russian history, so when I intially started reading I feared the worst. The screenplay ended up being too good to put down however and I got caught up in the superb storytelling. The author masterfully crafted this biography of Peter the Great and it came across as flawless. The dialogue, storytelling, descriptions, character development... all top notch. Being able to condense an entire lifetime into one hundred and thirty pages is admirable enough, but to be able to make it flow seamlessly and keep it entertaining at the same time is outstanding. The main character's struggles between improving his country and maintaining morale while trying to balance his personal life gives him a human feel and makes for a compelling tale. I don't have any complaints with this script and if anyone actually feels threatened by the length, I can only give you my recommendation that anyone with an interest in history should definently check this one out. It won't disappoint. read