Reviews of Privateers 11

• 
  Good writing
  A review of Privateers
  by happywash on 07/19/2005
  But not my cup of tea. It doesn’t take away from the fact that you are a good writer and can spin a decent yarn. I do feel that this is now over-written, and you can begin to pare it down a little more. A lot of the description goes on and on. I know you want to paint the world of the 18th Century, and yu have, but now pick and choose what you show us. Also, some of... But not my cup of tea. It doesn’t take away from the fact that you are a good writer and can spin a decent yarn. I do feel that this is now over-written, and you can begin to pare it down a little more. A lot of the description goes on and on. I know you want to paint the world of the 18th Century, and yu have, but now pick and choose what you show us. Also, some of the dialogue seems a bit modern. "Hell Yeah"? I’m not sure they would talk like that. I know they cursed, but not in that way. I gues just make sure you go through the dialogue and make sure it’s consistent. You have a really good story here. I wish you luck. read
• 
  a collection of speeches does not a movie make
  A review of Privateers
  by hgwoodside on 07/19/2005
  reading the first 35 pages reveals a lot of talking characters, talking about 'backstory' and exposition which should be inferred in their decisions and actions. This goes on and on. Pare down all backstory to intention, emotion, action. Beef up character: these characters are spinelss and unmotivated. Who would give a captain's hat to someone who doubts himself. Shouldn't... reading the first 35 pages reveals a lot of talking characters, talking about 'backstory' and exposition which should be inferred in their decisions and actions. This goes on and on. Pare down all backstory to intention, emotion, action. Beef up character: these characters are spinelss and unmotivated. Who would give a captain's hat to someone who doubts himself. Shouldn't he be consumed with determination to avenge? Shouldn'f Flash be full of fire to beat the British, rather than 'having nothing else to do' Screenwriters need to read, to educate himself on fundamentals of the craft, then turn it into disciplined writing. read
• 
  Good Yarn
  A review of Privateers
  by Droid16 on 12/22/2003
  There is a lot to like about this script. It moves forward nicely, is exciting and sometimes surprising. I appreciated the character arc for John (though he seemed to turn from benevolence rather quickly) and William, though not as much for William. I enjoyed the read. Within that, here are a couple of things that caught my minds eye for you to take or leave. I would... There is a lot to like about this script. It moves forward nicely, is exciting and sometimes surprising. I appreciated the character arc for John (though he seemed to turn from benevolence rather quickly) and William, though not as much for William. I enjoyed the read. Within that, here are a couple of things that caught my minds eye for you to take or leave. I would occasionally lose my suspension of disbelief when the men uttered modern phrases in their dialog. It reminded me of Kevin Costner as Robin Hood. Didn't fit. James losing his head lessened the hero he was; does it really have to come off? Does William HAVE to die? (it speaks to your writing that you made me care that he did.) The final battle, which was impressive, could have had more tension. The Eagle and Guardian arrive so soon, there was no sense of cavalry for me. To have the Shadow take on the impossible odds in a clever fashion, to use some trickery to surprise the British privateers and make the Preston reengage before help arrived may have heightened things. Good luck with this, I would like to see the movie. Have you done any estimates on the budget this would require? read
• 
  Cool, even if you don't normally like this sort of thing
  A review of Privateers
  by Mistymoo on 12/15/2003
  To be honest when the AG gave me this I nearly gave it back, I normally hate stories about men and the sea. I also hate stories about war but I liked this one. It kept moving from the start and had some interesting plot twists and turns. I liked the charaters and how they worked with each other and I enjoyed the ending. However if I was to pick there are a few grammatical... To be honest when the AG gave me this I nearly gave it back, I normally hate stories about men and the sea. I also hate stories about war but I liked this one. It kept moving from the start and had some interesting plot twists and turns. I liked the charaters and how they worked with each other and I enjoyed the ending. However if I was to pick there are a few grammatical errors which could be easily rectified. I am not sure if you could make it any shorter but some people may claim that 129 pages is too long, I'm not sure if I would agree with them as it doesn't drag when you read it. The only thing I have a problem with is that I feel John goes crazy rather quickly and suddenly, I would like to see it build more over time. read
• 
  First Class
  A review of Privateers
  by mbrendan on 11/29/2003
  Well-structured grand scale epic adventure. I really enjoyed this script. Characters had strong arcs. Action description was enough to help me visualize the events, and I appreciated that it didn't try to detail every single action during the fight sequences. Could still use a little tightening up, though. 129 pages isn't necessarily a bad thing, and I know epics are often... Well-structured grand scale epic adventure. I really enjoyed this script. Characters had strong arcs. Action description was enough to help me visualize the events, and I appreciated that it didn't try to detail every single action during the fight sequences. Could still use a little tightening up, though. 129 pages isn't necessarily a bad thing, and I know epics are often much longer, but there were points during the story where I felt it did drag a little. (The scene where John and William first meet James and George is an example that leaps to mind.) Something else you do a little too often in my opinion is add "cheats" into your description that get inside the characters' heads. We can't read their minds from the theatre seats, so try to come up with some sort of act or gesture that can convey the appropriate sentiment. Or trust your dialogue more...I think you'd be surprised that your dialogue conveys enough without the intrusive description. A few grammatical errors strewn throughout; a proofreader could help. Overall, good script. I'd pay to see this at the theatre. read
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  High Seas Revenge
  A review of Privateers
  by cabinwriter on 11/23/2003
  It's a seaworthy tale with a beginning a middle and an end, though the progression is not well structured and pages of unnecessary information could be deep-sixed. The characters, for the most part, are well drawn, different enough in motivation and speech to be distinct. It wouldn't be a cheap film, quite the contrary, and it suffers as a script from dialog that repeats... It's a seaworthy tale with a beginning a middle and an end, though the progression is not well structured and pages of unnecessary information could be deep-sixed. The characters, for the most part, are well drawn, different enough in motivation and speech to be distinct. It wouldn't be a cheap film, quite the contrary, and it suffers as a script from dialog that repeats itself and description that goes way too far into the realm of the novel. Remember that the camera cannot see what people are thinking. Also remember that spellcheck does not correct the following misuses of words: they're/their/there; you're/your; its/it's; to/too/two; here/hear; passed/past (and on and on). Proofread over and over. Get rid of the modern god damn, fucking, top of the line, no sweat, on our toes, policeman, fat ass, bullshitter. What kind of ore was aboard the British ship? Your Heart of Darkness John is compelling. Might think about letting William recover from his wounds. Good job. Keep at it. read
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  FISHERMAN GETS HOOKED, BUT NOT CAUGHT BY MEN OF WAR
  A review of Privateers
  by SBurkin on 11/21/2003
  An interesting story concerning the moral ambiguity of war. The script for "Privateers" is, overall, a compelling sea-faring drama of two cousins who set out at patriotic pirates that moves along at a good pace with pleanty of action and melodrama. As John, initially the more benevelont of the two, gets a taste of power and riches (he is the captain of the new pirate ship)... An interesting story concerning the moral ambiguity of war. The script for "Privateers" is, overall, a compelling sea-faring drama of two cousins who set out at patriotic pirates that moves along at a good pace with pleanty of action and melodrama. As John, initially the more benevelont of the two, gets a taste of power and riches (he is the captain of the new pirate ship) and discovers he has a talent for both, he becomes more aggressive...less patriotic and more greedy. His cousin, William, at first all for avenging his dad's death, discovers he doesnot have a taste for the unruly, mercinary life. William sees in his cousin the corrupting nature of un-checked power and would rather serve his country and desire for revengeby joining the legitimate navy.Good plot, well rounded characters and for the most part good dialogue. Main characters sometime "speechify " and V.O.'s tend to state the very obvious. These v.o. could be cut , or at least made more oblique. ALso, maybe would minimise sequence in script when the character of JOHN holes-up on an island with hsi crew. Its maybe a little too similar to "Kurz" (M. Brabndo)character in APOCOLYPSE NOW. read
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  Privateers Review
  A review of Privateers
  by peperina on 11/19/2003
  Although I am not a big fan of historical action pictures, I liked the story. The characters could have been developed more fully especially John. He seemed to age and change rapidly from when his father died and he was made captain of the Shadow. There were a few times when I thought I knew what was going to happen and something different did (e.g., the final meeting with... Although I am not a big fan of historical action pictures, I liked the story. The characters could have been developed more fully especially John. He seemed to age and change rapidly from when his father died and he was made captain of the Shadow. There were a few times when I thought I knew what was going to happen and something different did (e.g., the final meeting with Preston captain, John becomes a pirate). Also, having John begin drinking is rather predictable. It would have been nice to see him go through the same changes without the booze, then his turmoil would be purely emotional. There was some dialogue that could have been left out and the same effects could have taken place with a look or a glance. I liked the general flow of the story. The struggles in the beginning, John fighting for the respect of the crew, William not being able to deal with John changing, the successes, and eventually the transformation of John and his crew. I did find numerous typos and places where a ? was used where I thought a . was more appropriate. Also, the format of the screenplay seems different than mine. Sorry, I'm out of room but if I can, I will give page #'s for typos. read
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  Heart of Darkness on the High Seas
  A review of Privateers
  by jtucker on 11/18/2003
  "Privateers" is a worthy high seas adventure set during the American Revolutionary War. William and John are two cousins thrown into the War by the need to support their families and exact revenge against the English threat. But William is soon disillusioned by the privateer world and joins the Continental Navy, while John immerses himself in piratical success at the expense... "Privateers" is a worthy high seas adventure set during the American Revolutionary War. William and John are two cousins thrown into the War by the need to support their families and exact revenge against the English threat. But William is soon disillusioned by the privateer world and joins the Continental Navy, while John immerses himself in piratical success at the expense of his own uncontrollable bloodlust. John starts out as somewhat unlikeable and full of himself, but the author successfully transforms him into a compelling character. John even submerges himself into a Kurtz-like self loathing that is entirely unexpected. With the exception of some sloppy exposition at the end of the first act where there is a lagging set-up, the whole story moves and works very nicely. I was suprised at the lack of sentimentality and applaud the honesty portrayed in the condemnation of war. I expected much more bald patriotism, but was glad to have not found it. I do however, wish that the dialogue had a more 18th century feel. There was slipping here and there into modern vernacular that tarnished the overall feel. All together a strong work. read
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  Privateers -- Of Patriots and Pirates
  A review of Privateers
  by sdewolfe on 11/18/2003
  I liked the story line a lot. I liked the action. But I never made a connection with the tragic hero. Given command of a ship at a nearly impossible early age, his authority is challenged by an ex-con. His response? Ten lashes administered by the boswain. Before the first blow lands, his second in command (and cousin) walks away in disgust. When the captain calls to... I liked the story line a lot. I liked the action. But I never made a connection with the tragic hero. Given command of a ship at a nearly impossible early age, his authority is challenged by an ex-con. His response? Ten lashes administered by the boswain. Before the first blow lands, his second in command (and cousin) walks away in disgust. When the captain calls to him, he pulls up but does not turn around and then continues to his cabin. Such obvious contempt for the captain would pose a much greater threat to his command than the disrespectful remark of the seaman. But the captain did nothing to his cousin. In fact, the entire episode is never mentioned again and the hapless ex-con stays loyal to the captain to the bitter end. If the scene did not setup further conflict between the hero and the ex-con, why have the scene at all? It has nothing to do with the story but I had a hard time getting past the improper punctuation, words, and tense mismatches. It is almost as if a spell checker ran amuck. Several references to the ship show a complete lack of knowledge of what is what aboard a ship. With a better spell checker and a cleanup of some passages, the story is worthy of consideration for development. read