+ more submissions by J. O'Hanley

Reviews of Quagmire 2

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  Needs less Quagmire
  A review of Quagmire
  by Dannie on 08/01/2012
  Quagmire is an interesting script. It reads easily as a comedy and has colorful characters. This would fall into light comedy/action like Rowan Atkinson's Johnny English series. The way Sparkey is introduced totally reminded me of a character Patrick Warburton would play and maybe that's the first problem of the script- I was invested in the idea of Sparkey being our protagonist... Quagmire is an interesting script. It reads easily as a comedy and has colorful characters. This would fall into light comedy/action like Rowan Atkinson's Johnny English series.
  
  The way Sparkey is introduced totally reminded me of a character Patrick Warburton would play and maybe that's the first problem of the script- I was invested in the idea of Sparkey being our protagonist and felt let down when we move on to Sam.
  
  When we move on to Sam and Naomi we're instantly intrigued and wonder if this couple is going to be our antagonists but no, one is our protagonist and the other is a minion. We're soon introduced to the sniveling villain and more meaningless minions. Though adequate to tell the story, and with proper casting, these characters could jump off the screen but the big problem is that they have to jump off the page first. None of these characters find a lot of empathy from me and the antagonist could have been dispatched with mosquito repellent.  In a movie your audience has to identify with the characters in order to experience the movie. Sparkey is your strongest character and he whimpers through the plot.
  
  The characters of Hal and Walter may as well have been talking in the Peanuts trumpet voice, wah wahwah wah wahwahwah. I did not care for their argument, their subplot held no meaning for me because neither character was likable. Waste of plot space.
  
  Setting was one of the least cinematic I've read recently. Perfect for a movie about 5 kids serving detention, forced to explore their inner most fears and desires while bonding. Absolutely boring for a turrurist movie. Even the paintball set lost its visual appeal when we realize it's not a terrorist camp. Limiting the size and number of sets works if your filming low budget and on your own but the idea of international spies and terrorists deserves way more.
  
  The best rompish spy comedy to follow would be something like Bill Murray's The Man Who Knew Too Little. This movie has a great balance of humor and characters with just enough action to be cool.
  
  Definitely not saying this movie can't work, it just needs more color and depth to the sets, plot, and characters.
  
  On a technical note: your script was clean and easy to read as far as the grammar, punctuation and format goes. With your imagination you should easily push this story to a higher level.
  
  Thanks for letting me read this. read
• 
  What happens when Die Hard meets Naked Gun? My guess is " Quagmire "
  A review of Quagmire
  by Max Wiley on 07/31/2012
  Justin O' Hanleys QUAGMIRE is a umm wait... "Quagmire?" is that really the name? Had to Google that word for definition? ( Quagmire = A difficult, precarious, or entrapping predicament. ) Ok. Moving on. Quagmire opens fire with a John Woo-rthy opening action scene following Agent Sparkey as he shoots his way through a terrorist training camp. Ok you got my attention Justin!... Justin O' Hanleys QUAGMIRE is a umm wait... "Quagmire?" is that really the name? Had to Google that word for definition? ( Quagmire = A difficult, precarious, or entrapping predicament. ) Ok. Moving on. Quagmire opens fire with a John Woo-rthy opening action scene following Agent Sparkey as he shoots his way through a terrorist training camp. Ok you got my attention Justin! A few pages later we find out that this was just crap Intell. He's in fact accidently shot up a group of paint ballers. Ok i guess we all make mistakes right? It is a comedy after all. The story quickly shifts to the star Sam Sterling. A deep cover operative investigating a domestic terror cell. Sam discovers that the cell has aquired and intends to launch a sinister chemical weapon capable of killing thousands! (Gotta start small I guess:)
  
  What happens next is Die Hard on a College campus. The media jumps all over the paintball shooting, while the actual perps prepare to strike a densely populated target area. Sam Sterling uses his super duper agent skills to out smart, and out maneuver the cell. Putting him in prime position to pull a Nicholas Cage The Rock ending! Suddenly, something amazing happens! I get intrigued by the written performance of Clyde Myers on Pg. 15. Holly Tamales!! Is anyone else visualizing Morgan Freeman here? Clyde, an off duty cop happens upon the cells covert plot. Playing it cooler than a slushy he infiltrates, gets valuable Intell, and even signals for backup without so much as leaving their midst. You are my hero Clyde!
  
  As the script climaxes. Sterling kills off the cells members one at a time. Until a final roof top battle in front of the missile ends with the discovery that our own government would allow the attack to go as planned to ensure their power. Appalling:) So from start to finish Quagmire proves to be straight foreward. Intentional or not I kept getting the Die Hard vibe with this one. Here are some of my Plus and Minus points;
  
  Plus: Justin has writing skills. I could nit pick about spelling and punctuation but these are things which will improve on future scripts. Quagmire seems like a " Can I really do this" kinda script. The story is predictable, and the jokes are hit or miss. But the overall pacing and structure has an easy flow from scene to scene. Definately on the right path.
  
  Minus: I disliked the whole thing with blasting the paint ballers. I know the script spoofs action films. But a group of paint ballers on the other side of a college university mistaken for performing terrorist excercises. Slap me and call me Susy but I just didn't follow that one.
  
  Plus: So Justin has the The Rock, 24, and Die Hard blueprints memorized. Why go over the top comedy wise on this one? Played straight I would have still finished this script based on its solid transitions.
  
  Minus: Some scenes minus jokes were very readable and could play well on film. Add in more character background and plot depth and Quagmire could make a decent action thriller.
  
  So quick and simple Quagmire reads like a stepping stone script complete with lots of possibilities for improvement. But beneath any discovered flaws writer Justin O' Hanley has script writting poise and is capable of greater depths. Skip the shoot em up films for a bit and with the right influence i think he could surprise himself. Thanks for reading. read