Reviews of Rodeo Heartache 10

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  Thanks for a great read
  A review of Rodeo Heartache
  by AnnaP on 08/22/2004
  Time. It's something that I have very little of. Thank you for making the time I spent reading your SP enjoyable and useful. The characters are fabulous. They're unique and memorable, without being unbelievable in the least. Your dialogue is so real. The only flaw I saw was the way that the action was written. The paragraphs were a bit too long, it'd be a little easier to read... Time. It's something that I have very little of. Thank you for making the time I spent reading your SP enjoyable and useful. The characters are fabulous. They're unique and memorable, without being unbelievable in the least. Your dialogue is so real. The only flaw I saw was the way that the action was written. The paragraphs were a bit too long, it'd be a little easier to read if each beat had its own paragraph. That's the only bit of advice I can offer you, hope to see this script on the big screen. This is the first "amateur" piece I would put my $11 on. read
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  Loved it
  A review of Rodeo Heartache
  by bgreensmith on 08/19/2004
  I read this script from start to finish in one sitting - and that's rare. I thought it was wonderful. I could picture the rodeo circuit as I read - I was totally there. And I loved the characters, especially little Missie. Some of her actions I thought were a little bit unbelievable but on the whole she was wonderful. I'm not surprised to see that the writer is a winner of... I read this script from start to finish in one sitting - and that's rare. I thought it was wonderful. I could picture the rodeo circuit as I read - I was totally there. And I loved the characters, especially little Missie. Some of her actions I thought were a little bit unbelievable but on the whole she was wonderful. I'm not surprised to see that the writer is a winner of a Nicholl Fellowship. Obviously well deserved. read
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  Yehaaa!
  A review of Rodeo Heartache
  by Coastie on 08/05/2004
  This is a wonderful tale of friendship, loyalty & trust, offering easily believable characters in the exciting world of the Rodeo. Although the ending was predictable I was satisfied with a genuine feel good factor because of how well Jordon & Missie's characters were presented. I wanted them to win & they did. You have a nice balance of the honest & dishonest side of life,... This is a wonderful tale of friendship, loyalty & trust, offering easily believable characters in the exciting world of the Rodeo. Although the ending was predictable I was satisfied with a genuine feel good factor because of how well Jordon & Missie's characters were presented. I wanted them to win & they did. You have a nice balance of the honest & dishonest side of life, I loved the fact that Jordon & Missie wanted to pay the telecom company back...inspired! The glory hunting Crystal left me with no sympathy for her at the end, again due to her being so well writen. My only concern was that Missie although very independent managed to get to Mexico pretty much unhindered dispite being only 12...but that's it. Typo on p92 Crystal - ....'Have 'TO' let the Police handle......' read
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  Treasures Beyond Winning
  A review of Rodeo Heartache
  by smurfph on 08/02/2004
  Really enjoyed it. The scenes were broken up well and flowed together smoothly for the most part. It seemed a bit rushed when Jordan and Missie were living in the Daniels house and in the very begining. I'd like to know a little more of the history between Jordan and Rose. Maybe slow it down in the very beginning to explain everything or set it up a bit more. John's character... Really enjoyed it. The scenes were broken up well and flowed together smoothly for the most part. It seemed a bit rushed when Jordan and Missie were living in the Daniels house and in the very begining. I'd like to know a little more of the history between Jordan and Rose. Maybe slow it down in the very beginning to explain everything or set it up a bit more. John's character change didn't seem too warranted though. Explain more about his relationship with Jordan when Crystal leaves him. Give him a good side, a fall from grace, and then build him up again. Jordan and Missie's relationship needs to be more father daughter like. I like that they have a buddy type relationship, but maybe a few scenes of him being more of a concerned father before she runs away. A good ending, although I wouldn't have him punch White Lightning, he's already beaten him with broken ribs. Punching him seems too over the top. I think a new title could help out as well. Treasures beyond winning seems very bland and almost chliched. All in all, a good read, and will translate well on screen. read
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  Solid attempt needs continued work
  A review of Rodeo Heartache
  by cschnak on 08/02/2004
  "Treasures Beyond Winning" tries hard at combining a sentimental father-daughter story with the gritty life of a professional cowboy. It doesn't quite work out. The story needs some additional work, but while it is a solid attempt at a script, something about the story drags on -- even in rodeo scenes that should be ultra-exciting. Part of this is due to the descriptions, which... "Treasures Beyond Winning" tries hard at combining a sentimental father-daughter story with the gritty life of a professional cowboy. It doesn't quite work out. The story needs some additional work, but while it is a solid attempt at a script, something about the story drags on -- even in rodeo scenes that should be ultra-exciting. Part of this is due to the descriptions, which in some areas are way to long. Cut them down, to be more fast paced and exciting. If it isn't an essential detail -- cut it out. I do like the dialogue, it seems to match the characters very well. The characters themselves undergo a transformation that is pretty well-defined, another plus. To improve, however, some of the secondary characters need to be removed or changed -- a few of them started to feel and sound the same. Good luck with future writing! read
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  Treasures
  A review of Rodeo Heartache
  by vancemi on 07/30/2004
  This SP reads like a country song. I'm not a fan of the music, but I do like a good down on your luck, left by the wife, bit by the dog kind of story now and then. This one is well crafted with a lot of depth of character. Like country music, I'll bet this could have an audience. A few notes: I found myself deeply involved with even the minor players. I was surprised that Joe... This SP reads like a country song. I'm not a fan of the music, but I do like a good down on your luck, left by the wife, bit by the dog kind of story now and then. This one is well crafted with a lot of depth of character. Like country music, I'll bet this could have an audience. A few notes: I found myself deeply involved with even the minor players. I was surprised that Joe turned out to be one of my favorites. In the beginning, scenes jump quickly from one to another with little transition. You don't begin sentences with capitals after slug lines. Is this some new convention I missed out on? Is it a format conversion quirk? There were a number of instances where feelings and other nonobservables were related in action lines. The scene where Missie crosses against the tide into Mexico should play well. Conversely, Jordan's slap may play very badly. I'd recommend he push her away with words instead. "You always held me back" kind of thing. There are numerous typos that need ferreting out. The showdown with White Lightning was classic. Afterward, Jordan looking for Missie would have been been more satisfying with Crystal interfering. I enjoyed this. Good luck with it. read
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  Treasure's
  A review of Rodeo Heartache
  by SAllen711 on 07/28/2004
  This is obviously the result of hard work, a few rewrites, and attention to detail. It is a very good script. It is so well done that it is beyond my ability to properly critique. I can say what I like about it, but that would be superfluous. To summarize, I really enjoyed watching this film; oh wait this was a script right? Well, there you go. I guess you should go over it... This is obviously the result of hard work, a few rewrites, and attention to detail. It is a very good script. It is so well done that it is beyond my ability to properly critique. I can say what I like about it, but that would be superfluous. To summarize, I really enjoyed watching this film; oh wait this was a script right? Well, there you go. I guess you should go over it with a fine-toothed comb once more before you actually pitch it, there were some minor spelling slips. I think this one is ready to shoot. Excellent, bravo! read
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  Review - TREASURES BEYOND WINNING
  A review of Rodeo Heartache
  by moviemaniac1976 on 07/28/2004
  This script has an interesting mileu (the rodeo circuit) but it was a difficult read because you are more interested in writing in shots rather than scenes. The relationship between Missie and Jordan was fine although somewhat disturbing. Essentially this is the single-father-realizing-his-daughter-is-becoming-a-woman story. Missie came across as WAY too manipulative (no... This script has an interesting mileu (the rodeo circuit) but it was a difficult read because you are more interested in writing in shots rather than scenes. The relationship between Missie and Jordan was fine although somewhat disturbing. Essentially this is the single-father-realizing-his-daughter-is-becoming-a-woman story. Missie came across as WAY too manipulative (no idea why she is referred to as "the world's most priceless treasure") and Jordan came across as a little too clueless. I have a 12 year old stepsister and she wouldn't dream of getting changed in front of her father so I'm not sure why Missie would do it without thinking twice (especially if she had just been asking him about tampons). Even if she had been raised by her father, she would still be embarrassed. I couldn't help but think that and the fact she wears one of his shirts as a nightgown was some kind of hint at incest. For someone who corrects her father's speech, Missie doesn't speak very good English herself. In your next rewrite, you might want to concentrate on making Missie in some way likable. Good luck. read
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  Nice One!
  A review of Rodeo Heartache
  by Bissboy on 07/25/2004
  Howdy, at last I get an assignment I actually enjoyed reading. I havent read many screenplays here yet but this was by far and away the best of them. To be honest, this kind of story isnt really my thing and i might not pay to see this movie but i can admire the way its put together. Firstly, the storytelling in general was great, i especially the part where Jordan reveals... Howdy, at last I get an assignment I actually enjoyed reading. I havent read many screenplays here yet but this was by far and away the best of them. To be honest, this kind of story isnt really my thing and i might not pay to see this movie but i can admire the way its put together. Firstly, the storytelling in general was great, i especially the part where Jordan reveals he has spent his nights practising his riding rather than boozing, it was a nice moment. I thought the characterization was strong. Too many of the screenplays on this site are populated with fairly nondescript characters, but this had a number of well written fully fleshed out supporting characters. I especially liked joe, id imagine he was fun to write! There were a couple of drawbacks though, the story was pretty conventional stuff, i just knew that Jordan would end up taming white lightning, etc. Also, i dont like kids in films in general, they never feel like real kids, they always seem to be wise-beyond their years and exist to point out the foibles of their parents/ elders and i thought Missy fell into that category. So if i had to sum it up, i would say decent story, very well told. read
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  Giddy Up Let's Go!
  A review of Rodeo Heartache
  by maggiespence on 07/23/2004
  A wonderful story of fatherhood, love and friendship. Excellent dialogue with lots of wit and good humor. Missie is my favorite. A spunky little girl who acts more like a grown up than her dad. The plot is great as we root for Jordan to win the rodeo but we're also hoping he soesn't get the girl. At least not the girl he wants. Crystal is a terrible mother. Rose and the grandpareents... A wonderful story of fatherhood, love and friendship. Excellent dialogue with lots of wit and good humor. Missie is my favorite. A spunky little girl who acts more like a grown up than her dad. The plot is great as we root for Jordan to win the rodeo but we're also hoping he soesn't get the girl. At least not the girl he wants. Crystal is a terrible mother. Rose and the grandpareents are really doing the job. It's touching and sweet and it all comes together in the end. This writer knows how to tell a story and keep the pages turning. I give it an A+ and a definite reccomentd. Let's get this one on the big screen! read