Reviews of SIDEWALK STORY 48

• 
  A very captivating piece
  A review of SIDEWALK STORY
  by EmilyMitchell1 on 04/29/2010
  The screenplay ‘Sidewalk Story’ by Charlie Brown took an in depth look in to gang violence and was both inspirational and informative in its attempt to captivate an audience. With its well developed characters and naturalistic dialogue, it allowed the reader to relate to the harsh realities of street crime. It was evident that the writer had researched the subject matter; this... The screenplay ‘Sidewalk Story’ by Charlie Brown took an in depth look in to gang violence and was both inspirational and informative in its attempt to captivate an audience. With its well developed characters and naturalistic dialogue, it allowed the reader to relate to the harsh realities of street crime. It was evident that the writer had researched the subject matter; this meant the narrative flowed and did not seem false when showing the cycle of violence which comes with being a gang member. The reason this screenplay succeeded in holding the readers interest is because it was evident that the themes within the screenplay were true to life. The writer was not afraid to show the extreme conditions children live in. It explored how violence can become part of a daily routine to people who are exposed to it from a young age and how they eventually end up either dead or in prison. Gang violence is a current issue in today’s society with many young people dying in the process; this screenplay provides a strong social message which in my opinion is the key to reaching out to young offenders and preventing them from ending up like the protagonist ‘Jesse’. Being from a completely different social background to the characters made me realise how ignorant I was to the depravity people suffer each day, the screenplay will hopefully have this affect on other readers. It also allowed me to understand the suffering behind many young offenders and meant I could formulate a more educated opinion. The plot was well developed, however it did remind me of ‘City of God’ for its social content and its stereotypical character profiles. This did not let the screenplay down, although it was hard to differentiate between the two at times. The writer challenges ideology and breaks conventions by questioning the typical American ideal of the perfect family; he does this by showing families who are less fortunate. The idea behind the screenplay is simple but effective, the writer has put together a story which many people can relate to and reflect on. The only thing I would change is the predictability of the piece, I felt there needed to be more of a twist in the screenplay. The idea of the protagonist turning to education was refreshing but is fairly typical of a gang related film. It would have been interesting to see more of ‘Jesse’s’ life in prison highlighting the fact that there are consequences for peoples actions. Overall I really enjoyed the screenplay and felt I made a connection with many of the characters. It was well written and would be successful as a film as long as it was careful not to replicate other gangster films which have already left their mark on society. The most important thing to me about this screenplay is that its controversial approach to gangs could influence today’s youth and prevent unnecessary violence. It shows this in a bad light rather than glorifying it as many films have done in the past. read
• 
  Your heart is definately in it.
  A review of SIDEWALK STORY
  by ptinks on 08/07/2004
  No matter the success of the dramatic impact of this script, it was very obvious to me while reading Sidewalk Story that the subject, ideas, themes and characters are deeply significant to the writer. Nothing holds an audience more than this.The challenge with a script like this isn't in shocking or holding the audience's attention (there's an abundance of violence to do... No matter the success of the dramatic impact of this script, it was very obvious to me while reading Sidewalk Story that the subject, ideas, themes and characters are deeply significant to the writer. Nothing holds an audience more than this.The challenge with a script like this isn't in shocking or holding the audience's attention (there's an abundance of violence to do that for you), I think, but instead saying something about a well treaded subject that has a long history of coverage in film from Stand and Deliver to Boyz N the Hood. I'm not sure if this was accomplished or not, I'm still trying to figure out what was the message here other than "Gangland life and its effects are tragic." Not that this isn't a worthwhile message, but it's been said before in a thousand different ways. A fantastic job was done at showing the 'cycle' of violence, from father to son. On the downside, I thought the female characters we a bit one-dimensional and non-effectual to the story, used only when we needed to raise Jesse's consceince, or show their softer side, and they were almost always, with the exception of Rachel, victims. A common problem in gangster stories. Overall, a good read, thanks and keep it up. read
• 
  Excellente!
  A review of SIDEWALK STORY
  by CreativePinoy on 07/30/2004
  This screenplay really kept me reading for two hours. I enjoyed the plot and the characters, who I found to be three dimensional. However, when doing character descriptions, you don't need to tell the reader the attitude/personality of the character. This is implies in the dialog and action. Speaking of action, you have way too many action descriptions and some don't even... This screenplay really kept me reading for two hours. I enjoyed the plot and the characters, who I found to be three dimensional. However, when doing character descriptions, you don't need to tell the reader the attitude/personality of the character. This is implies in the dialog and action. Speaking of action, you have way too many action descriptions and some don't even need to be there. Again, you need to trust the actors will become really involved with their character and will initiaite the appropriate action necessary. I really enjoyed the dialog as well. It was very realistic. Bizarre, but realistic. I know families like that and it's easy for me to realate that to some people I know, friends and family. I commend you for doing a good job at tackling the psychological and sociological aspects of living in an era of so much oppression. read
• 
  Well crafted but not new or original enough
  A review of SIDEWALK STORY
  by cstroman on 07/19/2004
  While reading this I felt alot of what I was reading had been done before in the countless gangster movies already avail. Most recently City of God, etc. Where that had an exotic foreign feel, the urban feel of this screenplay although authentic, wasn't appealing. I also felt that the characters were crafted very well and individually from the two opposing females to the Mafiosos... While reading this I felt alot of what I was reading had been done before in the countless gangster movies already avail. Most recently City of God, etc. Where that had an exotic foreign feel, the urban feel of this screenplay although authentic, wasn't appealing. I also felt that the characters were crafted very well and individually from the two opposing females to the Mafiosos vs. the Gov. Suits. However I felt that the story was a bit preachy without actually comming right out and blatantly saying so. From Jesse's V.O. to the end title, I felt that there was an emphasis on the writer's political agendas of toy guns, etc. I feel that those agendas shouldn't be pushed on the viewer, but that the viewer should be allowed to gain it's own view through the storytelling. The violence was original and unique and not your typical urban fare. However, a few holes crept up. How did Jesse know his father was in the same prison and why didn't he attack him immediately upon figuring it out? Did Jesse ever find out Boogie had been killed? Also the Mafioso's didn't make the case to me of the appeal of gang life that drew many in and why they couldn't just turn around and leave. Jesse seemed committed to the group without a reason why. read
• 
  It's a Winner
  A review of SIDEWALK STORY
  by cane49 on 07/09/2004
  This one is a winner. Got a little confused at times with some of the characters and who belonged to which gang, but my overall reaction to this screenplay is a definite RECOMMEND. What really got me was how you fit a story, of almost epic proportion in a script that is only 115 pages long. Hell of a good job on that. I've got a published novel, similar genre, of epic proportion... This one is a winner. Got a little confused at times with some of the characters and who belonged to which gang, but my overall reaction to this screenplay is a definite RECOMMEND. What really got me was how you fit a story, of almost epic proportion in a script that is only 115 pages long. Hell of a good job on that. I've got a published novel, similar genre, of epic proportion that I'm concidering for screen adaptation. I'll be using SIDEWALK STORY as a tutor. Great Job!! read
• 
  Good Sentiment, Bad Writing
  A review of SIDEWALK STORY
  by samspade on 07/08/2004
  The story presented here has the potential to be fantastic and moving, but as it is, the writing muddles the message and makes it difficult to stick with the story long enough to invest emotionally. My main complaint is that there are too many characters to keep track of. I counted over 60 different character headings. Jesse has at least a quarter of the dialouge and another... The story presented here has the potential to be fantastic and moving, but as it is, the writing muddles the message and makes it difficult to stick with the story long enough to invest emotionally. My main complaint is that there are too many characters to keep track of. I counted over 60 different character headings. Jesse has at least a quarter of the dialouge and another large bit is shared between Boogie, Yathee, Rachel, and Whiteboy Billy. Those five characters account for at least half of the dialouge and the rest is spread out to nearly fifty other characters. Half of your dialouge is given over to characters who exist for only a few minutes of the movie. I would recommend trimming a few non-essential characters and giving their dialouge to characters the audience is more aquainted with. Also, there are a number of action lines that are unfilmable. "Ouch," and "Another Ouch," come to mind. I could comment further, but I'm running out of space to give you anything worthwile. Email me if you would like more. read
• 
  Sidewalk Story
  A review of SIDEWALK STORY
  by Karmakazi on 07/06/2004
  Good work to the writer for storytelling skills. And now, the crits. First off, this script needs a thorough polish. Picky, yeah, but there are lots of typos. The language used, especially early on, struck me as fairly tame, though it did eventually pick up. The "deal" on Pg 18 - 19 played a bit rough. I wasn't sure what Maggie was talking about until I went back and re-read... Good work to the writer for storytelling skills. And now, the crits. First off, this script needs a thorough polish. Picky, yeah, but there are lots of typos. The language used, especially early on, struck me as fairly tame, though it did eventually pick up. The "deal" on Pg 18 - 19 played a bit rough. I wasn't sure what Maggie was talking about until I went back and re-read. It also struck me as somewhat unnatural for a junky to make that kind of deal right before going off to shoot up. I was turned off by the repeated use of TV news to set up the ongoing problems in the neighborhood. That's an easy device, well below par with the writer's skill to use so often. It took a while to get into the story. About midway I started noticing the pages turning. A few scenes (e.g. smuggling coke into prison in the baby's ass) seemed gratuitous, as if used only to shock, and not to advance the plot. Other times, shocking scenes that moved the plot were very effective. I felt Jesse's transformation was fairly abrupt. And then, to end as it does... not sure why, but it felt a bit dissatisfying. Overall, a powerful story, in a dark and gritty way. Well done to the writer. Congrats for SotM! read
• 
  Gripping Sidewalk
  A review of SIDEWALK STORY
  by Kaseyjd on 07/04/2004
  Sidewalk story not only was one of the easiest reads I’ve come across on Triggerstreet it was one of the best “start to finish� screenplays I’ve read. The dialogue is strong, like the characters and was done very well. The story was developed very nicely and I never thought to myself that any of it wasn’t believable. The opened was VERY gripping, it pulled me in... Sidewalk story not only was one of the easiest reads I’ve come across on Triggerstreet it was one of the best “start to finish� screenplays I’ve read. The dialogue is strong, like the characters and was done very well. The story was developed very nicely and I never thought to myself that any of it wasn’t believable. The opened was VERY gripping, it pulled me in perfectly, which will do wonders when trying to get people to read your screenplay. There was a little too many VO’s for my liking, especially after things had happened and you just reiterated them for us, we just saw them… trust me I hadn’t forgotten. The Daughter/mother drug scene really got me, you had a few very gripping scenes like this which were amazing. I liked your series of shots, they went along with your story well I thought. Shortage of typos and grammatical errors helped it become an even easier read. I would recommend this to anyone, not just for people who are ‘into’ this type of story. read
• 
  Good solid story that could use some tweaking
  A review of SIDEWALK STORY
  by antwann on 06/30/2004
  I read this screenplay and thoroughly enjoyed the story. I had a couple of issues with the dialogue but that can easily be fixed. Wish there was more of an explanation on the death of Boogie since she was an essential character. I also really didn't get the statement at the end. To me the lesson wasn't as clear as the lesson in the end of Higher Learning where it stated,... I read this screenplay and thoroughly enjoyed the story. I had a couple of issues with the dialogue but that can easily be fixed. Wish there was more of an explanation on the death of Boogie since she was an essential character. I also really didn't get the statement at the end. To me the lesson wasn't as clear as the lesson in the end of Higher Learning where it stated, 'Unlearn'. Overall a good job. read
• 
  Gripping
  A review of SIDEWALK STORY
  by webb157 on 06/29/2004
  It's nice to see a writer who understands the importance of a powerful opening scene. You grabbed me with violence and impressed me with complex dialogue. Definitely deserves the attention it received. I do have a couple of comments. The ten pages after Jesse and Rachel are split up are a little dead. In a script full of events and action they stick out like a sore thumb... It's nice to see a writer who understands the importance of a powerful opening scene. You grabbed me with violence and impressed me with complex dialogue. Definitely deserves the attention it received. I do have a couple of comments. The ten pages after Jesse and Rachel are split up are a little dead. In a script full of events and action they stick out like a sore thumb. I understand you need some setup, but it was too much for a second act. Also, Jesse's character arc rounded a little too fast. It wasn't very convincing. I would have liked to have seen more of him writing and actually using his knowledge and new-found sense of perspective. You've displayed the diplomas and journals, but that's it. You show him talking the talk, but not walking the walk. Left me unconvinced. I also thought Rachel was gone a little too long. Her re-entry just seemed a little abrupt. Don't know how to handle that one. Overall, this script was so good I wanted to reshape it and make it mine (in the legal way). I would think a director/producer would think the same thing and scoop it up. Good luck. read