Reviews of Silver Lining 20

• 
  Thoroughly enjoyable!
  A review of Silver Lining
  by adite on 10/26/2010
  Hi Carl. My first impression on finishing the script (and believe me I read it through at one go) was "Wow." It's funny, sweet, thoroughly enjoyable and very well written. It has a nice ensemble feel to it and yet, tells the story through the point of view of the retired cop. Some of the situations are really funny and cute. I also went through the "coverage" that you... Hi Carl.
  
  My first impression on finishing the script (and believe me I read it through at one go) was "Wow." It's funny, sweet, thoroughly enjoyable and very well written. It has a nice ensemble feel to it and yet, tells the story through the point of view of the retired cop. Some of the situations are really funny and cute.
  
  I also went through the "coverage" that you got from Scriptshark. I do feel like the reviewer that the monster's appearance should have happened a little earlier in the script. Also the Doctor's motives could have been slightly less on-the-nose.
  
  As for the point about the oldies behaving like teenagers, I think that was quite hilarious. And if you can believe that Bigfoot exists, it's also possible that some 70 year olds have a higher libido than others! :)
  
  I also thought that the grandson angle adds a lot of heart and emotion to the story. I'm sure the next draft of your story is going to be much stronger. And I look forward to reading it.
  
  Cheers!
  Adite read
• 
  First Time reviewer, Silver Lining
  A review of Silver Lining
  by Edgar Salazar on 10/06/2010
  I have to tell you that I´m starting up on this screenplay business, and already I´m very intrested on how can I write just like you. I realy enjoy reading this screenplay, it was very funny and catchy. I think people can relate to Howard not letting go of his youth energy and to Edgar for traying always to back his friend up, you can even relate to the director because of... I have to tell you that I´m starting up on this screenplay business, and already I´m very intrested on how can I write just like you. I realy enjoy reading this screenplay, it was very funny and catchy. I think people can relate to Howard not letting go of his youth energy and to Edgar for traying always to back his friend up, you can even relate to the director because of his illness due to the child abuse, but I think everything gets joined well together based from the ligth comendy, that I must say I realy find amusing, to the suspense and the blood splattered on the walls.
  
  The dialoges was very believable and funny. Although some scenes left me wanting more like the one where Will y riding the bike, stops and seems like the monster is there and something was going to happen but nothing did, aside from that I think this one was most entertaining that other screenplays that have actualy come to a film that I have read,
  
  I realy hope this can be turn into a movie, it will be very fun to see the Howard, Edgar and Chuck, running away on a golf cart on the big screen.
  
  I wish you luck,
  
  Edgar Salazar read
• 
  Silver Lining review
  A review of Silver Lining
  by markmcan on 09/29/2010
  Hi Carl: I have to say I thoroughly enjoyed reading ‘Silver Lining’ from beginning to end. It is well written and the story carries well all the way through. The pace is consistent through to the climax and certainly managed to keep my attention during my continuous read. The characters were very believable and not unlike most other movie fans the characters have to fit and... Hi Carl:
  
  I have to say I thoroughly enjoyed reading ‘Silver Lining’ from beginning to end. It is well written and the story carries well all the way through. The pace is consistent through to the climax and certainly managed to keep my attention during my continuous read.
  
  The characters were very believable and not unlike most other movie fans the characters have to fit and have to resonant otherwise, at least for me, the screenplay just falls apart. Silver Lining is simply well done and the dialogue is exceptionally crafted.
  
  I particularly like our hero, Howard; he is strong and very funny. The funny makes him human and likeable. It is easy to relate to his young mind wrapped up in a retired body and life situation.
  
  General Comments:
  
  I found your situations and dialogue quite funny and found myself smiling, and on occasion out right laughing.
  
  I must say I was slightly torn when I was trying to determine if this is a true comedy or a light movie with more serious overtones within a drama. I hope, if this is made into a movie the director plays up your humor because if it’s respected and done right it can be great. Some of the funniest places for me, the break and enter with Howard and the boys and certainly how you fit the ‘girly’ magazine into the story with his friends, Sarah and also with Will.
  
  As far as the creature goes, I was a bit confused and even disappointed in it as a character and villain. I think another villain or another more ‘believable’ murderer would have made me feel less cheated, I’m not a Bigfoot fan I guess and just personally would have preferred if the murderer had not been big foot and was one of the seniors or perhaps even the doctor himself. But that is just me. I know the creature in the end was supposed to depict the doctors hate but I don’t really find that out until the very last, and by then I already didn’t like the creature.
  
  The ending I could see played out on the screen and not unlike the rest of the screenplay I hope the humor is emphasized as it could be very funny to see. I liked the dramatizing of the final shooting and devouring of the Doctor by the creature, with a burp, that could certainly be very funny on screen, even if I didn’t like the creature I could still laugh at that.
  
  No doubt you will have many potential buyers tell you that a movie with seniors just will not make it to screen. Bull. Many people said a movie about two gay cowboys wouldn’t make it either and it almost won best picture. I think with the write actors the movie can be sexy and there could be enough youth in the nurse, Frederick, Molly and of course Will. I know they are not main characters but they certainly help.
  
  Best of luck with this and regards,
  Mark read
• 
  We Are Family
  A review of Silver Lining
  by bloodmeridian2004 on 09/16/2010
  Hey Carl: This had been in my que for a while—sorry it took a while to get to it. Congrats on the SOM nom. Your writing style, obviously, feels professional with its brisk pacing and economic scene-setting. My favorite “bigfoot” movie—if one could call it that—is THE LEGEND OF BOGGY CREEK. I can't be objective about that cult classic, because I grew up in southern Arkansas,... Hey Carl:
  
  This had been in my que for a while—sorry it took a while to get to it.
  
  Congrats on the SOM nom.
  
  Your writing style, obviously, feels professional with its brisk pacing and economic scene-setting.
  
  My favorite “bigfoot” movie—if one could call it that—is THE LEGEND OF BOGGY CREEK. I can't be objective about that cult classic, because I grew up in southern Arkansas, close to where the “Faulk Monster” roamed. And it's cry was said to be like that of a black panther.
  
  And if you've seen THE LEGEND OF BOGGY CREEK, you know that part of its charm is that it takes itself very seriously, with a touch of nostalgia for wilderness lost due to the advance of civilization, much like the tone of DANCES WITH WOLVES.
  
  It's a tough standard to reach, because the bar for suspending disbelief is set so high in 2010—and THE LEGEND OF BOGGY CREEK was released in 1972.
  
  Also, and this is another annoying marketing point, it's a tough sell to have elderly stars like this. It worked for COCOON, but then they had the hope of becoming young again.
  
  On the positive side, as a retired cop who grew up believing in the “Faulk monster,” I could totally relate to the story and I found the hero to be very credible. In fact, all the characters were credible, and that's the best compliment I can give.
  
  I suppose what bothers me is that I don't see anything in nature as dangerous as man. And if there were a monster like this, it would still be no match for a well-placed bullet.
  
  READING NOTES:
  
  TITLE PAGE: I love fancy fonts and big, oversized titles and I've used them myself, but it's a red flag for contests (just a thought if you plan to enter this into anything.)
  
  p1: 1930s/1930's
  
  p7: Fun read Carl—captures a cartoonish feel that's elusive—well-paced.
  
  p30 bottom of page, no action after scene heading in Will's room
  
  p55 top of page, no action after scene heading in Edgar's apartment.
  
  p104 middle of page: its/it's
  
  bottom of page: Nils'/Nils
  
  FINAL THOUGHTS:
  
  Sorry that the reading notes were light and slanted toward the picky side. This was very well-written and I flat-out didn't notice many typos. And I've seen plenty of produced scripts in which there was no action after a master scene heading, but it always takes me out of the scene something isn't there.
  
  
  Best wishes,
  Paul read
• 
  This has claws
  A review of Silver Lining
  by Escade on 09/09/2010
  Very nice script. This is one of the best in terms of general craft and writing quality that I’ve yet read. The characters are so likeable. I just love them the little detail all add to what is a great script. “Old bone slowness” I love that. Howard and Sarah are two gems and Eunice is a great antagonist. I would suggest trying to build a stronger mid- point in order to... Very nice script. This is one of the best in terms of general craft and writing quality that I’ve yet read. The characters are so likeable.
  
  I just love them the little detail all add to what is a great script. “Old bone slowness” I love that. Howard and Sarah are two gems and Eunice is a great antagonist.
  
  I would suggest trying to build a stronger mid- point in order to cut the second act into two halves as at the present time is meanders a touch.
  
  Other than that I don’t have a lot to say as much of this script is truly excellent and in very good shape . I guess you could fiddle about with the pacing and dramatic events trying to build the tension as much as possibile, but the dialogue is V good and characters are V good,
  so that's maybe the one are you could think about: pacing.
  
  Well done. Great job read
• 
  Well written
  A review of Silver Lining
  by jackster6 on 08/31/2010
  This was a very well written screenplay, and definitely polished. I think I found two typos at most. As far as the story goes, I wasn't very engaged, or intrigued. It's different for sure. Making Senior Citizens the focus of your story is definitely not going to the safe zone. I did like Howard, but I didn't really care about his plight. The scenes with he and Sarah early... This was a very well written screenplay, and definitely polished. I think I found two typos at most.
  
  As far as the story goes, I wasn't very engaged, or intrigued. It's different for sure. Making Senior Citizens the focus of your story is definitely not going to the safe zone.
  
  I did like Howard, but I didn't really care about his plight.
  
  The scenes with he and Sarah early on are great, especially him coming out of bed wearing her panties (very funny).
  
  I just never really got into the story - I mean it's all there, it's structured well, it flowed well, it's an easy read (though trimming to 100 pages wouldn't be a bad idaa).
  
  I just never really felt involved in the story. Perhaps, I just couldn't relate to Howard, or the fact that the killer is a big-foot type creature, just never really engaged me.
  read
• 
  Always a Silver Lining...
  A review of Silver Lining
  by Emma Finnel on 08/21/2010
  I will give you major points for excellent structure. You clearly know how to write a good story, which hits all the beats, from beginning to end. This is a fun story, but not entirely original. Have you seen "Bubba Ho-Tep?" And a movie starring a bunch of old farts is gonna be a tough sell, Cocoon notwithstanding. Also, there's quite a bit of bloodshed. Another turn-off... I will give you major points for excellent structure. You clearly know how to write a good story, which hits all the beats, from beginning to end.
  
  This is a fun story, but not entirely original. Have you seen "Bubba Ho-Tep?" And a movie starring a bunch of old farts is gonna be a tough sell, Cocoon notwithstanding. Also, there's quite a bit of bloodshed. Another turn-off. These are serious factors holding back an otherwise excellent script.
  
  p.85, "be it you" should be "be it your", or just take out "you" entirely.
  
  One of the first rules of writing a great protagonist is having him proactive in what happens to him. You've done that in spades. Kudos.
  
  Nice tie in with Will and his knots at the end.
  
  p.98, Danforth's rant about old people touching children in their special places has no place in your otherwise excellent script. It doesn't fit with the light, fun tone you've established.
  
  Nice conclusions for all your characters at the end. There are a lot of characters here. It might be good to combine a few. Charlie and Edgar spring to mind. But honestly, I could tell them all apart.
  
  Fade Out goes flush right. With a period, not a colon.
  
  Consider lightening the tone even further. Lose Danforth's child molestation stuff. Lose the blood shed. Make it as comical as can be... and you might attract a studio. Good luck! read
• 
  BEAUTIFUL LINING
  A review of Silver Lining
  by CrabbyLady on 08/20/2010
  Oh I really enjoyed this story. It was unique and interesting, and never a dull moment. I see this definitely going up on HBO or Showtime - and please don't take that as an insult. I really don't see this as a major feature film, but that's just my opinion. I do see it as something that HBO and the like could take and really work with. Your storyline is wonderful, with... Oh I really enjoyed this story. It was unique and interesting, and never a dull moment. I see this definitely going up on HBO or Showtime - and please don't take that as an insult.
  
  I really don't see this as a major feature film, but that's just my opinion. I do see it as something that HBO and the like could take and really work with.
  
  Your storyline is wonderful, with the "creature" out looming around, and there wasn't a character wasted. The dialogue was real and believable, and I especially enjoyed Edgar and his witty retorts.
  
  You moved the plot along with hesitation, or any unnecessary scenes. The subplot of the love story between Howard and Sara was very sweet, and very real.
  
  I did have a bit of a problem with your formatting (i.e. the oxygen sounds pshht; falling into a pool, BAM!, BA-WOOOOOT and 'canned ham of a hand). They may be fun to read, but they are unnecessary and wouldn't be tolerated by a professional reader. Try Syd Field's "Screenplay", "The Screenwriter's Bible" and definitely "Final Draft". There's not a thing wrong with your script itself, but tightening it up will definitely make it an easier read.
  
  Also have a fresh pair of eyes read through it, as there as quite a few spelling and grammatical errors, and this again pulls the reader right out.
  
  Overall, you have a wonderful story here, and I encourage you to keep going with it. Best of luck! read
• 
  Howling good fun...
  A review of Silver Lining
  by D J Sheridan on 08/20/2010
  This is the second SP of yours I've read on here, the other being GLACIER. Now Glacier was a great read and flowed really well... but this one, in my opinion, did not deliver as good as. But that said (re: my title of this review) was a good fun read. CONCEPT: Someone controlling or having power over a superior or sub-generate creature has been done before but i do feel it... This is the second SP of yours I've read on here, the other being GLACIER.
  Now Glacier was a great read and flowed really well... but this one, in my opinion, did not deliver as good as.
  But that said (re: my title of this review) was a good fun read.
  
  CONCEPT:
  Someone controlling or having power over a superior or sub-generate creature has been done before but i do feel it always has a fresh appeal when approached from other angles - as you have done here.
  Yes the retired professional being asked to help out has been done before, but you have the retiree having to help out. That is a plus here and it works well from the comedy perspective.
  
  CHARACTERS:
  What can I say but you have this down well! A tad too many if i'm being honest, but non-the-less one can identify and feel for them.
  HOWARD is an exceptional man that does not want to lie down and take things easy. What with his freedom being compromised via MOLLY (she's a bitch by the way!) and not wanting to let go of this indicates a wel rounded character in here.
  SARAH as the love interest is interesting, but I do feel you need to flesh her out a bit more... especially before the CREATURE attempts this near the end.
  DR DANFORTH is an average antagonist within this SP. I do suggest you create a better informative history for him though. He controls the Creature? How did this happen? You did have that it just came to him but this would work better with more in-depth clarity.
  SHALIQUA I found myself fantasising over her from the start so well done. I would like to have had more on her character as well as I feel she only appeared at the start then a third in... only to reappear near the end. Shame on you for doing this to her!!!
  
  DIALOGUE:
  This flowed with ease and did not have me thinking 'What did they say?'.
  All spoken word fitted well and for the right character too.
  
  STORY:
  Yes this has been done before in some other form or other, but aren't most stories and movies. WATCHER was a film that I was reminded about (a dog linked to a genetically modified creature) whilst reading this.
  I do feel you have potential with this to re-write parts, flesh out others and polish it off to become a good SP.
  
  STRUCTURE:
  Not much if all wrong here. There were a few typos and grammar details but nothing major to be concerned about.
  Unless you already do it, I would recommend you print a draft of this out and read the physical print. Errors jump out easier rather than watching the PC Monitor.
  
  OVERALL: GOOD.
  
  Thanks for the read!
  
  Dave read
• 
  Fun to read
  A review of Silver Lining
  by DeeJay77 on 08/18/2010
  It’s always a blast to read a script that entertains me and makes me laugh hysterically, and that is why I thoroughly enjoyed reading Silver Lining. The concept behind this script is both interesting and unique. I must say this is the first script that I have ever read of this nature. From a reader’s perspective, this script is extremely well written. It flowed smoothly and... It’s always a blast to read a script that entertains me and makes me laugh hysterically, and that is why I thoroughly enjoyed reading Silver Lining. The concept behind this script is both interesting and unique. I must say this is the first script that I have ever read of this nature.
  
  From a reader’s perspective, this script is extremely well written. It flowed smoothly and it was very easy to read. The writer does an excellent job of describing the action; therefore, I could easily visualize everything taking place on the big screen. There were very few typos noted. You may wish to check the following pages and make corrections as indicated (pp. 50, 65, 91, 94, and 103).
  
  I have been a nurse for many years, and my first job out of nursing school was at a nursing home. Perhaps that is part of the reason that I liked this story so much. I love the characters. They were a lot of fun, well developed, and you did a nice job of creating unique voices for each of them. In regard to dialogue, I found the dialogue to be clean and crisp. There were very few blocks that I found myself having to go back and read twice, so great job!
  
  There is one minimal writing infraction that I would like to point out, which pertains to the Bingo game. The numbers that you have assigned to the letters do not actually exist in a real Bingo game. In a real game, I think the numbers range something like this: B (1-15), I (16-29), N (30-45), G (46-59), and O (60-75). This may not be exact, but it’s really close. Please don’t think I’m nit picking here, I just wanted to bring it to your attention for accuracy purposes. I guess it’s obvious that I’ve spent way too much time in Bingo parlors!
  
  Again, you have done an overall great job on this script. I hope my comments will be helpful to you. If you have any specific questions, please feel free to contact me. Congratulations on your accomplishment and I wish you much luck! read