Reviews of The Age of Wisdom 34

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  soap opera
  A review of The Age of Wisdom
  by boypablo on 02/17/2007
  Your project reads a bit to much like a soap opera with characters that are difficult to follow in terms of their relationships to one another - the whole sex on video thing has already been done for real so many times to make it anything close to ground breaking and it's exposed so early that it's effect became mute. The dialogue and story was pretty good - I would have liked... Your project reads a bit to much like a soap opera with characters that are difficult to follow in terms of their relationships to one another - the whole sex on video thing has already been done for real so many times to make it anything close to ground breaking and it's exposed so early that it's effect became mute.
  
  The dialogue and story was pretty good - I would have liked to see a bit more charisma from Charlie, his character is a little soft for the end guy.
  
  It got lost a couple times when you were jumping from imaginary time to real time. I've read fifteen screenplays on trigger and I've never seen SMASH-CUT TO... - perhaps this is something new and explains the real time thing - I don't know.
  
  Don't think you need to mention the days of the week in the film.
  
  Just things:
  
  p 15 - ...hungry in the worst way. - don't get it - is she in need of food or a story?
  p 44 - Sixty percent full. Good for a Wednesday. - how can you show this on film - is it necessary?
  p 49 - double ((To Mary.)
  p 52 - After a minute... - a minute is a long time in a film
  p 54 - double ((Pause.)
  P 61 - ....we're one randy grounds- - do you on randy grounds-?
  p 67 - relived - relieved
  p 87 - ...sitting om a log,.. - on a log
  p 94 - And I've spend everyday... - spent
  p 94 - He face is... - His face is...
  
  To many songs mentioned.
  
  p 105 - BACK TO REAL TIME - didn't know we left real time - this is an example of what I mentioned earlier.
  p 106 - Listen, I fell... - I feel
  p 111 - SERIES OF SLOW MOTION SHOTS. - that's direction - I do it myself and always get flack for it.
  p 112 - K. drops her with one shot. - I assume you meant a closed fist punch, but there's a gun there - might want to us another word.
  p 133 - Kathleen would be arrested for assault with a deadly weapon and there was a shooting with her gun.
  p 114 - ...fuck up this badly - no period
  p 115/116 - you might consider using quotes for the reading of the letter to make it clearer.
  p 116 - ...an eight grade reading... - eighth
  p 116 - ...loved me, how could her stand to hurt me. - is there a quote there?
  p 121- ...sounds like a glorious adventure. - just don't like the wording - electrifying and magnificent... - I'd suggest something else.
  
  What if K. really loved the killer and had planned to have her husband killed and she wounded.
  
  What if the video was of K. and the killer, recorded by the killer and released along with his suicide note.
  
  She sees the killer in the mirror et al - audience thinking it's her dead husband.
  
  Spice it up a bit - no happy ending....
  
  All in all a pretty good story - obviously I think it needs a re-write, but good work so far. read
• 
  Interesting story, good dialog
  A review of The Age of Wisdom
  by Eric Maloney on 02/12/2007
  This is a very enjoyable script; it's all about people and ideas, and that takes a lot of work. I found the pace to be about right (although I imagine that some will complain that it doesn't have enough explosions), and I thought Kathleen's story unfolded nicely. I liked the script's wry sense of humor; most of it is derived from the relationships and situations, and that's... This is a very enjoyable script; it's all about people and ideas, and that takes a lot of work. I found the pace to be about right (although I imagine that some will complain that it doesn't have enough explosions), and I thought Kathleen's story unfolded nicely. I liked the script's wry sense of humor; most of it is derived from the relationships and situations, and that's hard to do. Even though the story doesn't have a lot of action in it, there are enough interesting plot twists to keep most of the story from dragging.
  
  My main concern is with the dialog. Most of it is very good, and there's a lot of great interaction between the characters. It does, however, occasionally get too glib for my taste--like I'm hearing the writer savoring the line instead of the character speaking it (a simple example: page 13, "Bastard branch of the fifth estate"). When a bunch of the characters are all being glib together, the dialog (and therefore the characters) can tend to take on a sameness in tone. Also, the dialog gets flabby in places, such as in Hal's lines on page 15: Too many words for minimal payoff. Another example, on page 70: "Dad was killed because he swerved to miss a kid etc. etc." A lot of the verbiage is unnecessary and dilutes the effect of the scene.
  
  I had some issues with several scenes. First, on page 45, I like the intent behind the confrontation with Scott, but the scene seems to play out painfully slowly: somewhere around four minutes. I don't think you can hold the tension for such a long period of time thorough dialog alone. I would take out the redundancy and speechifying and cut it down.
  
  Second, I had the same reaction to the Kathleen-Delores showdown near the end: It's too drawn out with too much redundancy, and the tension dissipates. Also, Delores going for the gun caught me by surprise, but not in a good way; I don't see where this comes from. It seems forced--like you had to find somebody to shoot somebody in this scene, and she was the closest fit. It was the only scene in the script that didn't ring true to me.
  
  Third, there's a lot of speechifying at the end (around page 117). It seems to me that you're needlessly putting into words a lot of ideas that have played out in the story, like you decided to close the script with a summary.
  
  My last comment is that the script seems to go on a little too long. Some of the scenes after the shooting strike me as either unnecessary or too drawn out.
  
  On the whole, this is one of the more intelligent and interesting scripts I've read recently. I see that it was posted a while back; I hope you stuck with it, because it's got a lot of potential.
  
  read
• 
  almost
  A review of The Age of Wisdom
  by matlo on 02/12/2007
  Good effort. The first scenes seem promising. Starting off depicting a likeable character and an interesting dilema. Initially we meet Kathleen and see her dancing with a young fellow only to see him litterally disintegrate into ash and blood in her hands. We then find that this was a bad dream, about her dead parter. Shot by a man who had just committed suicide in prizon,... Good effort.
  
  The first scenes seem promising. Starting off depicting a likeable character and an interesting dilema. Initially we meet Kathleen and see her dancing with a young fellow only to see him litterally disintegrate into ash and blood in her hands. We then find that this was a bad dream, about her dead parter. Shot by a man who had just committed suicide in prizon, a letter addressed to Kathleen had been left unopened in his cell.
  
  While this is an exciting opening the quality of the story really seems to deteriorate from there on. We're introduced to a whole load of mediocre characters and by the end we dont feel like anything really has been gained.
  
  My main concerns with the script were that scenes often didnt seem to have focus or purpose, with dialogue that seemed to be often pointless for the sake of comedy.
  
  We're dealing with very serious issues at the heart of the story, about severe tragedy. Yet the characters themselves reacted to the horiffic events of the past quite unrealistically. The attempts at comedic dialogue often completely ruined the whole seriousness of the underlying plot.
  
  The comedy itself is of a fair quality, with some good lines but I thought that it could have been attempted less, instead presented at intervals in between serious moments for more of an impact.
  
  The script is dialogue heavy. It would have been nicer to see more moments of silence between characters. It would have been more effective to try to show emotion through action rather than extensive use of dialogue. In the end it becomes hard to read with so much dialogue and the readers attention drifts too easily.
  
  My advice would be to focus. Cut dialoge like there's no tomorrow, every line that is'nt needed should go. I wouldnt make Kathleen a lot more mentally disturbed concerning her past to the point where it is hard for her to talk about it, let alone joke about it. Too many jokes that really arent funny.
  
  But good potential and you can see there is a good writer waiting to emerge from this. The style is a little young and continuing to write should bring maturity to the authors style. Remember to capture the audience at every moment, even in the directions. read
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  THE PRIZE OF FAME
  A review of The Age of Wisdom
  by vladstoy on 02/06/2007
  The glory always has the dark side, proving that some things, however, we cannot buy by money, like love or… privacy. It depends from individual to individual how to deal with fame and wealth. Just that issue, the issue of privacy, is reflection of democracy and beneath all of that – reflection of hypocrisy. The world of mass media is embarked on prudishness, corruption,... The glory always has the dark side, proving that some things, however, we cannot buy by money, like love or… privacy. It depends from individual to individual how to deal with fame and wealth. Just that issue, the issue of privacy, is reflection of democracy and beneath all of that – reflection of hypocrisy. The world of mass media is embarked on prudishness, corruption, hunger for glory, affectation and false values.
  
  The most of above mentioned we can find in “The Age Of Wisdom”. Kathleen Sondheim, female media star, is obviously not prepared for that kind of fame, though she’s trying to badly and consistently. How it can spread bad influences to dearest people around, we can see (read) in this story too. Media is powerful destructive force of human souls, of human lives, even nations.
  
  The story of Sondheim family, with Kathleen in the center, is talking to us directly. There is mother, as pivot of true, old fashioned values, there is open circle of liking and not liking, multi-generation’s difference, regardless media people, there is ghost of the past, broken privacy and so much of other. Maybe is enough for one good drama, or maybe it is not. However, I think it is. Hypocrisy of modern mass media is revealing and floating unstoppably, like avalanche. And even troubles and pleasures of main and supporting characters can’t stop it. They take us aside, but the message is clear. When unscrupulous journalist Delores says “Fry Bitch!” it hits us like hammer, showing the philosophy of media people almost like in “Paparazzi”.
  
  Writer has some problems with structure, especially in descriptions. It happens that we know where are the protagonists, but don’t know what they are doing and in what positions (they are sitting, standing, dancing or laying?). So often descriptions are very poor and penurious. But, deep inside, the story is humanistic. With one big question for the end: Is there Leslie and Sandra on the wedding?
  
  Vladan Stoyanovich
  sociologist and screenwriter read
• 
  Review
  A review of The Age of Wisdom
  by nicky g on 04/08/2005
  I have mixed feelings about this one. The ending didn't leave me feeling totally satisfied, even though it seems everything was tied up. It felt like there was something missing and can't quite put my finger on it. I thought it flowed quite well and the dialogue was well written but I think some of the character relationships were unclear. Wasn't sure who was who's sister,... I have mixed feelings about this one. The ending didn't leave me feeling totally satisfied, even though it seems everything was tied up. It felt like there was something missing and can't quite put my finger on it. I thought it flowed quite well and the dialogue was well written but I think some of the character relationships were unclear. Wasn't sure who was who's sister, brother, employee or lover !! There were too many camera directions which arn't needed and some moments of confusion. Other than that the story wasn't too bad. I'm not sure of the purpose of Cain's suicide note at the end as it didn't really add a lot to the conclusion. On a positive note I liked the interaction between Charlie and Damien and his obvious dislike of Charlie.
  
  To conclude I would say that its an interesting story which flows nicely but for me doesn't quite hit the nail on the head. read
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  The Age Of Wisdom
  A review of The Age of Wisdom
  by dangj on 04/02/2005
  This is a nice story that's well written. There's good dialogue here and the characters are developed and fleshed out quite well. The story progresses at a decent pace and it unfolds in a straight-forward manner. But perhaps that's its downfall though, as with a lot of the story focusing on dialogue, there's not a lot of action. There's also an element of predictability when... This is a nice story that's well written. There's good dialogue here and the characters are developed and fleshed out quite well.
  
  The story progresses at a decent pace and it unfolds in a straight-forward manner. But perhaps that's its downfall though, as with a lot of the story focusing on dialogue, there's not a lot of action. There's also an element of predictability when we first encounter
  Charlie and Kathleen.
  
  Damian proves an interesting character but not utilised well. His role in the story can provide much more conflict in the story by perhaps turning him into Cain-like character at the end. This
  can also provide a good opportunity for Charlie to realise his love for Kathleen (or vice versa) as well as Kathleen facing her demons.
  
  It's just a suggestion though. Good work. read
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  What's the target
  A review of The Age of Wisdom
  by bigkel on 03/29/2005
  While I must give credit to anyone who takes the time to write out their story in hopes of making a film. I must ask the question. Who is the target audience of this film? It seems that this screenplay is fixated on the califonia lifestyle. Maybe too many genres are touched in this movie. We have sex parties, murder, an actress with a gun, a gay wedding, love story, prison... While I must give credit to anyone who takes the time to write out their story in hopes of making a film. I must ask the question. Who is the target audience of this film? It seems that this screenplay is fixated on the califonia lifestyle. Maybe too many genres are touched in this movie. We have sex parties, murder, an actress with a gun, a gay wedding, love story, prison suicide, and even an organic food store in an old church.Is this a chick flick, a love story, a revenge story, a gay intrest story, and is the writer too narrow in the delivery by tring to include so many conflicting instrest. With that being said, when I read the first few pages, I was not inserested as I did not feel a personal connection with the characters. The tabloid reporter twist added a nice piece that anyone outside of Califonia could relate to. This kept me interested and aside from Kathleen struggles moved the story along. Focusing more on this conflict between the actress and the tabloid reporter will add that extra drama. The Tom Cruise piece may not be welcomed in Hollywood but on the Indie side this could make a good feature with a little polishing. On question that left me guessing. How do you assult someone with a gun and end up shooting someone and not get arrested. Only in Hollywood. Nice work. read
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  Age of wisdom
  A review of The Age of Wisdom
  by jenny2003 on 06/01/2004
  This script hit just the right note for a light drama with the occassional slightly amusing moment.. It was not an indepth study of human behaviour but the characters had enough depth for me to be interested and keep reading. In fact there seemed to be way too many characters named and I got a little confused as to who I should be paying atttention to and who I should just... This script hit just the right note for a light drama with the occassional slightly amusing moment.. It was not an indepth study of human behaviour but the characters had enough depth for me to be interested and keep reading. In fact there seemed to be way too many characters named and I got a little confused as to who I should be paying atttention to and who I should just pass over at first. Despite this I did begin to wonder when something would happen when I got about half way through, no climax and very little excitement until very late in the story! This was nice little story but when I got to the end my reaction was"Oh well." The characters seem quite well drawn but the story material was just not very interesting. The tempo of the action was monotonous. It wasas if you had taken potentially interesting story and told it in as flat a way as possible. read
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  Great Potential...
  A review of The Age of Wisdom
  by **DELETED ACCOUNT** on 04/29/2004
  By far the best thing about this script is how well-drawn the characters are. It's a cleverly written script about people dealing with real issues, which is a nice change from what most movies are these days. This is a great example of a character driven, personal story, that doesn't take a back seat to entertainment (most films like this tend to be boring and painstakingly... By far the best thing about this script is how well-drawn the characters are. It's a cleverly written script about people dealing with real issues, which is a nice change from what most movies are these days. This is a great example of a character driven, personal story, that doesn't take a back seat to entertainment (most films like this tend to be boring and painstakingly long). But this script is well-paced, and interesting. However, I think where it lacks is in the melodrama of the third act. It seems like the writer had such great story and development, but didn't know where to take it in the end. But, a great big thumbs up on the clever dialogue. The way these characters speak make this a pleasure to read. It could also use another look for spelling errors. read
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  Good
  A review of The Age of Wisdom
  by Mahyar on 04/28/2004
  A good, entertaining peace. The characters, the plot, structure everything was fine. As already mentioned in a previous review the script needs a rewrite. But in general, I thought it was a nice script. Good job. I'm not a man of big words, so I hope you excuse me this short review.