Reviews of THE BALLAD OF JACK BLAKE 22

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  Great script!
  A review of THE BALLAD OF JACK BLAKE
  by f8xmulder on 02/08/2004
  What a compelling story! I thoroughly enjoyed it. The historical aspect of it, the events portrayed, and the characters all ring with authenticity and heart. Jake is a well-developed character, having a significant and outstanding voice that is not only funny, but also insightful and honest. The other characters, like Silas and Fire In His Words, are great supporters.... What a compelling story! I thoroughly enjoyed it. The historical aspect of it, the events portrayed, and the characters all ring with authenticity and heart. Jake is a well-developed character, having a significant and outstanding voice that is not only funny, but also insightful and honest. The other characters, like Silas and Fire In His Words, are great supporters. I was dismayed by the amount of voice over - entirely too much, and most of it could have been incorporated into dialogue. Also, the third act seemed rushed and the ending especially so. Nevertheless, this is a great story and a well-written script. read
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  A rewrite is in order.
  A review of THE BALLAD OF JACK BLAKE
  by dad244 on 07/05/2003
  This is a great story to tell. You have the beginnings of a good screenplay. You need to lose at least 30% of the VO's. Another 60% need to be dialogue or action. Some inconsistancies I found are: the long copper tube was not referred to as glasses. Pg 18 Uncle Richard is going to give advice on the shot, but doesn't. Jack was 17 and shooting Indian Chief's For Colonel... This is a great story to tell. You have the beginnings of a good screenplay. You need to lose at least 30% of the VO's. Another 60% need to be dialogue or action. Some inconsistancies I found are: the long copper tube was not referred to as glasses. Pg 18 Uncle Richard is going to give advice on the shot, but doesn't. Jack was 17 and shooting Indian Chief's For Colonel Mitchell, but didn't enter army until 18. If Ms. davenport was alive today she'd be around 170 years old. If you are going to create fictional characters within an historical event you need to be as accurate as possible. You have a good start, but you need to fine tune this. You obviously have the talent so keep working. read
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  not bad, not bad at all
  A review of THE BALLAD OF JACK BLAKE
  by penney on 06/26/2003
  This was one of the best screenplays that i've read on the site. The characters are strong, the story is compelling. It's unusual, but i only have one big complaint. Far too much description. it makes for a slow and disjointed read, despite the fact that this is such a wonderful work.
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  Good night's entertainment
  A review of THE BALLAD OF JACK BLAKE
  by Cora on 04/19/2003
  No one was more happy than I was when those who write about history decided truth was more valuable than glorified fiction as far as the characters involved were concerned. Therefore, we've had such treats as Son of the Morning Star, Glory, and screenplays such as The Ballad of Jake Blake. I enjoyed this read immensely. Jake is charming in his innocence; he has a good head... No one was more happy than I was when those who write about history decided truth was more valuable than glorified fiction as far as the characters involved were concerned. Therefore, we've had such treats as Son of the Morning Star, Glory, and screenplays such as The Ballad of Jake Blake. I enjoyed this read immensely. Jake is charming in his innocence; he has a good head on his shoulders showing, at times, more wisdom than his elders. Silas is charming, too, but in a smoke-and-mirrors way that is easy for those of us who have been around the block to spot. Younger audiences will be taken in as was Jack. The only criticism I'd have concerning characters is the lack of balance in the portrayal of the Army. They weren't ALL idiots (but that is a small thing). Perhaps you might develop Wyncoop a little more. Fire in his Words is a marvelous character; his humor is subtle and slightly cynical, but he's a lovable character, as is Tzu. The setting is so real, especially in the camp as Jack swings a pick, that I felt as if I were there with him. This is a strong sp and one I'd like to see optioned. It is a little long in the first third, but that's part of the reason the reader becomes involved with Jack. This sp involved me completely. read
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  compelling but long
  A review of THE BALLAD OF JACK BLAKE
  by brittp on 03/20/2003
  I enjoyed reading this script but felt it could be much tighter. The story is interesting and engages difficult topics without being smug. I liked Jack. If you could trim 12-16 pages, it would be a great script. For example, the scenes with Tzu, while important, could be shortened. Great job.
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  Enjoyable stuff
  A review of THE BALLAD OF JACK BLAKE
  by SJB on 03/17/2003
  I liked this script,I think the writer has a good way with words and the story is strong.I don't know about all the Voice overs but I'd certainly think this would work up on the big screen.I liked the concept and although westerns aren't really my thing I can appreciate the detail and work that went into this piece. Well done Nathan and good luck finding a home for 'The Ballad... I liked this script,I think the writer has a good way with words and the story is strong.I don't know about all the Voice overs but I'd certainly think this would work up on the big screen.I liked the concept and although westerns aren't really my thing I can appreciate the detail and work that went into this piece. Well done Nathan and good luck finding a home for 'The Ballad of Jack Blake' read
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  A Review from USS
  A review of THE BALLAD OF JACK BLAKE
  by USS on 03/09/2003
  A Super CONSIDER. I almost gave it a RECOMMEND but it could not quite match the epicness of "Crocodile Tears", "Washington" or "Killer Instinct" (these are all screenplays on TriggerStreet). This was an overall average script that had great building of characters and Kickerserve you must have gotten excellent grades in school with spelling and dialogue, because I couldn't find... A Super CONSIDER. I almost gave it a RECOMMEND but it could not quite match the epicness of "Crocodile Tears", "Washington" or "Killer Instinct" (these are all screenplays on TriggerStreet). This was an overall average script that had great building of characters and Kickerserve you must have gotten excellent grades in school with spelling and dialogue, because I couldn't find a mistake (maybe once). Conclusion work on genres that work for you, perhaps the history genre isn't a good choice to use next time. But a good read. read
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  Young white guy 'star vehicle' based on Indian Massacre -
  A review of THE BALLAD OF JACK BLAKE
  by steve123han on 03/03/2003
  My two cents worth: I liked a lot of the lines, even though most of the V.O.'s should be put into dramatic dialogue or action. Jack's shooting skill and idealism are redundantly played out, and a lot of the secondary characters (Davenport, Tzu, Fire in his Words . . .) seem to come in only to show the escalating chaos of the times. Include more on Col. Chivington and Chief... My two cents worth: I liked a lot of the lines, even though most of the V.O.'s should be put into dramatic dialogue or action. Jack's shooting skill and idealism are redundantly played out, and a lot of the secondary characters (Davenport, Tzu, Fire in his Words . . .) seem to come in only to show the escalating chaos of the times. Include more on Col. Chivington and Chief Black Kettle since they are arguably driving the story that Jack is a part of - but there definitely is a story here waiting to be told. Thank you for the opportunity to read your work. read
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  Interesting look at Sand Creek Massacre but why all the V.O.s?
  A review of THE BALLAD OF JACK BLAKE
  by Kickserve on 03/02/2003
  The opening two sequences are riveting and set the tone well. Really well done. The writing also reflects a wonderful sense of time and place -- I felt transported. I also loved the many well-drawn characters the main character (Jack) encounters along his journey. But...I have one big complaint. Why does so much of the story come through Jack's voice overs? Most of the... The opening two sequences are riveting and set the tone well. Really well done. The writing also reflects a wonderful sense of time and place -- I felt transported. I also loved the many well-drawn characters the main character (Jack) encounters along his journey. But...I have one big complaint. Why does so much of the story come through Jack's voice overs? Most of the V.O.s felt unnecessarily intrusive. For example, what purpose does the V.O. on p. 29 serve? It dilutes the following scene without telling us anything about Jack's personality. I'd rather have "seen" more of this interesting tale than hear Jack tell us his take on it. Or just take them out -- the screenplay works without them! I'd also like to see the stakes raised for Jack. Maybe his Uncle cuts him off when he leaves? Maybe there are greater consequences to his decision at the end of the story? I like the ending precisely because Jack's involvement is greater. It flet like jack was just along for the ride until then. Good work but the endless V.O.s lessen the story's impact. read
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  My dad would love this movie
  A review of THE BALLAD OF JACK BLAKE
  by Conan66 on 02/28/2003
  This was great from beginning to end. You are definately an asset to the business of movie. It had over tones of Dances with Wolves, but that was great too. This was my most enjoyable read so far. Great structure and vision. If I were a producer, you'd have a green light. It was magnetic, and made me read from start to finish before I could continue on with my day. Awesome,... This was great from beginning to end. You are definately an asset to the business of movie. It had over tones of Dances with Wolves, but that was great too. This was my most enjoyable read so far. Great structure and vision. If I were a producer, you'd have a green light. It was magnetic, and made me read from start to finish before I could continue on with my day. Awesome, Awesome, Awseome read