Reviews of The Current (Version 2) 5

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  Bridge over Troubled Waters
  A review of The Current (Version 2)
  by davidmcewing on 04/25/2011
  I found this script to be well written with good exposition. The characters were defined, although there was too many considering the depth of the story. The dialog flowed naturally and formatting seemed correct. I think Colonel Cleveland's dialog was a bit long winded. Just remember that the actor has to memorize these lines. Page 80 - You need to eliminate the needless and... I found this script to be well written with good exposition. The characters were defined, although there was too many considering the depth of the story. The dialog flowed naturally and formatting seemed correct. I think Colonel Cleveland's dialog was a bit long winded. Just remember that the actor has to memorize these lines.
  
  Page 80 - You need to eliminate the needless and redundant montages.
  
  -- Jake rides the mower. -- Jake rides his bike back and forth across the bridge. To what end?
  What's the point?
  
  Page 90 - Good line. "God has caused enough havoc in my life."
  
  You're a good writer, but this script almost put me to sleep. Aside from Peter's death, nothing really happened. You need some more action and some intrigue.
  Don't let me discourage you, keep writing. read
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  Review of the Current
  A review of The Current (Version 2)
  by Pmitch on 04/21/2011
  Story of a boy who moves from Chicago to Minnesota and discovers God while helping a dad cope with the loss of his son. The protagonist should be more established in the script. Wayne could be the same age as Jake. The two could compete for a girl's attention and love with Jake winning in the end. Wayne could hate being at the camp and going to church. I was able to follow... Story of a boy who moves from Chicago to Minnesota and discovers God while helping a dad cope with the loss of his son.
  
  The protagonist should be more established in the script. Wayne could be the same age as Jake. The two could compete for a girl's attention and love with Jake winning in the end. Wayne could hate being at the camp and going to church. I was able to follow the dialogue and it was very well done in spots. Enjoyed the soldiers foxhole comparison and letting the river guide you. The songs were an interesting touch. Enjoyed reading about the Cubs.
  
  There are many church camps during the summer time and this screenplay could appeal to a wider family audience. Consider leaving out the opening bible verse (too preachy), there are plenty of reflections in the script. I travelled to Minnesota from Chicago for summer vacation when I was a kid. This script brought back memories...nicely done. read
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  Good family drama
  A review of The Current (Version 2)
  by JayKay99 on 04/17/2011
  The current is a family drama about a young boy’s difficulty to adjust to a new environment when his family decide to move from Chicago to Minnesota. The current has a good sense of realism as you feel the family good exist in real life. The characters seem to have a lot o depth and even though the dialogue isn’t brilliant the story flows nicely from start to finish. The concept... The current is a family drama about a young boy’s difficulty to adjust to a new environment when his family decide to move from Chicago to Minnesota. The current has a good sense of realism as you feel the family good exist in real life. The characters seem to have a lot o depth and even though the dialogue isn’t brilliant the story flows nicely from start to finish. The concept is a simple one but in this context the simpler the better. Even though the plot carries a Christian message I believe younger people of all back rounds could relate to it. read
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  Prayer is so cool.
  A review of The Current (Version 2)
  by chaztv on 04/12/2011
  Let’s get the little things out of the way first: Page 7 typo: luck should be lucky Page 23 typo: the should be they Page 41 typo: the should be they Page 100 typo: riveer should river This is basically the same old Christian community story we’ve been feed since Davy and Goliath. You’re preaching to the choir, but I don’t even think you will keep their attention through... Let’s get the little things out of the way first:
  Page 7 typo: luck should be lucky
  Page 23 typo: the should be they
  Page 41 typo: the should be they
  Page 100 typo: riveer should river
  
  This is basically the same old Christian community story we’ve been feed since Davy and Goliath. You’re preaching to the choir, but I don’t even think you will keep their attention through several montages of Jake going back and forth over the bridge to repair/maintain Brian’s farm.
  
  Brian eventually comes around as he sees Jake doing all his work. Why does that lead him back to God and the Colonel exactly? Well, because that’s the light and the true path.
  
  Nice slice of mythical Christian life, but very simplistic. Good work for what it is. read
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  Sweet Story
  A review of The Current (Version 2)
  by molloy on 04/12/2011
  This is definitely an evangelical story with some down-home flavor. It made its points without being too preachy. I enjoyed the fact that it took place in 1977 because there were a lot of details that brought back memories. I distinctly remember baseball cards, Boys Life and Highlights for Children, but it seems like they were more popular a decade before. Also, unless... This is definitely an evangelical story with some down-home flavor. It made its points without being too preachy. I enjoyed the fact that it took place in 1977 because there were a lot of details that brought back memories. I distinctly remember baseball cards, Boys Life and Highlights for Children, but it seems like they were more popular a decade before. Also, unless it was re-runs, I think Gilligan's Island pre-dated Farrah by some years.
  
  A few notes:
  p.2 my mom said-- Since it's a quotation it should be "your teeth."
  
  p.3 You don't give up a Master's Degree. You have it for life.
  
  p.31 "I think I spent too much time aiming." Nice. But I'd leave out the next to bits of dialogue about "aiming." It dulls the effect of the first "aiming."
  
  p. 38 "...save mankind from HELL." That would be pretty cool. Not scorching--I'd say so.
  
  p. 65 Grandma "But I need you to live a life so that we can be together again. Clarity--what kind of life?
  
  p.81 "Their too white." They're.
  
  p. 85 You don't get paid to do chores. Not when you're family. Good repeat from beginning of script.
  
  p.86 "Diane loves daisies." Present tense--Is this intentional--as if she's looking down from heaven?
  
  I'm not sure why you decided to call the preacher Colonel but I had this image of Colonel Sanders from Kentucky Fried.
  
  Anyway, there will be some readers who feel this is too simplistic; however, Jn. 3:16 is pretty clear. Predestination vs. Free Will and the nature of saving faith is a story for another day.
  
  This would also work as a novel for teens the same age as Jake.
  
  There's a story within a story here--and that is how a reader/viewer responds to the message. read