Reviews of The New American Dream 3

• 
  American Dream
  A review of The New American Dream
  by Jnasty1979 on 02/03/2012
  I can only respect someone who clearly put so much time into his/her screenplay as you clearly have. There were very few typos or grammar mistakes, so kudos for that. The problem for me is that there wasn't much of a movie here. Just a lot of talking between characters. A good idea for a website, a screenwriters dream mixed in. He jumps from different girl to different... I can only respect someone who clearly put so much time into his/her screenplay as you clearly have. There were very few typos or grammar mistakes, so kudos for that. The problem for me is that there wasn't much of a movie here. Just a lot of talking between characters. A good idea for a website, a screenwriters dream mixed in. He jumps from different girl to different girl before finally settling on Meagan without much conflict I might say. The dialogue goes on way too long. Within the first three pages Blake literally has nothing but dialogue for two of those whether it be in V.O or regular speech. This thing could be dramatically cut down, there really is no reason that a story like this should go 125+ pages. That's over two hours for a film. I think the first thing you need to do is cut the dialogue way down, add a lot more conflict, and at that point you may be able to get this thing into a resemblance of a watchable movie. I always ask myself, "would I pay $10 to see this at a movie theatre?" and unfortunately the answer for THE NEW AMERICAN DREAM is a no. read
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  Juggling more balls than a clown and making it look seamless
  A review of The New American Dream
  by jayelveejr on 02/02/2012
  This is a very long script and one I wouldn't call an easy read but have to admit, once I digested the entire screenplay ... I was thoroughly entertained and found myself really enjoying this all the way to the end. You've written a very original and fully rounded character in Blake and although the journey is long, he makes it well worth while. I find it interesting that... This is a very long script and one I wouldn't call an easy read but have to admit, once I digested the entire screenplay ... I was thoroughly entertained and found myself really enjoying this all the way to the end. You've written a very original and fully rounded character in Blake and although the journey is long, he makes it well worth while.
  
  I find it interesting that I am writing this review on the birthdate of Ayn Rand. At times, Blake came across to me as the quintessential Ayn Rand type of character, a man who forges on with an idea and he goes for it and is very successful. Some of my favorite scenes in your script are the ones such as Blake dismissing Hollywood and basically saying you can take my script but it's my way or the highway and I really don't care as long as you use my vision. There is something very heroic and Hank Rearden like in him. I was just reading an article about Ayn Rand's philosophy, basically ... "the concept of man as a heroic being, with his own happiness as the moral purpose of his life, with productive achievement as his noblest activity, and reason as his only absolute.” I also really liked the scenes with the Hollywood director and how Blake didn't really care about the film but rather found it more important to go get drinks with his woman. Very funny and speaks volume for the character.
  
  Despite one's political or philosophical bent, I think strong characters who believe in capitalism and in productive achievement and those who have a vision certainly make for strong characters in film. I really thought Blake was a hell of a visionary and he really lept off the page. I especially liked his way of thinking and this is really a screenplay that is a series of episodes, of events, that shaped Blake's life and shows us what he did with his talent.
  
  It does play as a sort of Social Network, a man who has a vision and who goes for it. I especially liked his interactions with Meghan and their relationship also lept off the page for me.
  
  I must admit that your writing style is usually not the type I like ... you have scenes that seem to go on just a bit too long, very long dialogue scenes ... you certainly know about investments and economic fact but I can't say that I think a long five to six minute scene of dudes talking about those subjects are cinematic or perhaps even interesting but for some reason they didn't bother me as much. I think it was because I was sucked into the story. Despite the long blocks of monolithic dialogue and action lines that were a bit on the long side, I still overlooked all that because there is something in this story that felt very Citizen Kane like or something indeed like a Social Network. Maybe that was not your intent but that's the way I read this. I recently read Aaron Sorkin's script of Social Network and he has long dialogue passages and little action lines so the script is very talk heavy, which is interesting because David Fincher is such a great visual director, and at times, your style reminded me a bit of how he tends to write so I'm really praising you here.
  
  I could really picture this as being the type of films that directors such as Sidney Lumet or Robert Altman might be attracted to if they were still with us. I was also casting Blake throughout the whole darn script. I thought hmm Richard Gere in his prime or even a Robert Downey, Jr. or George Clooney might fit the role. I thought of Kate Winslet or someone like Reese Whitherspoon for Meghan but I digress. The fact that I was casting as I went along is high praise indeed because I was casting this film, thinking about locations and also thinking about which director would helm this. All good things.
  
  On the negative side, again ... long winded scenes, long dialogue scenes and sometimes a script that is just too talky instead of being cinematic but doggone it, it still worked for me. I would on the next pass though try to see if you can chop some of the scenes down. Despite being 128 pages and flowing nicely, I still think this can be cut down. Use the golden rule of a scene: get in late and leave early.
  
  Sorry I really don't have much to tell you here or suggestions as there is something about this non cinematic script that worked for me. I even liked the book ends with Blake and Meghan.
  
  I really surprised myself with this one, despite a lengthy script and a style I'm not fond of, you won me over with the character of Blake and his journey. Sure, there are things to work on but I commend you for writing such a smart script dealing with a solid subject and despite all the scenes in bars and talk talk talk ... it just worked for me and that's what I'm sticking to.
  
  Thanks for the good read and best of luck. read
• 
  A Renaissance Man for the new millenium
  A review of The New American Dream
  by skiingpanda on 01/29/2012
  I was intrigued throughout the story. The lead, Blake, a workoholic, comes up with a cool idea for a website/ap and writes a screenplay to promote it. The idea was that after a bar fight and a weekend in jail he decides to turn his life around, which he does, but I really wasn't feeling he was on the wrong track to begin with. The stuff about working for the bank and the... I was intrigued throughout the story. The lead, Blake, a workoholic, comes up with a cool idea for a website/ap and writes a screenplay to promote it.
  The idea was that after a bar fight and a weekend in jail he decides to turn his life around, which he does, but I really wasn't feeling he was on the wrong track to begin with. The stuff about working for the bank and the credit default crisis, while accurate seemed unnecessary by the end. Just brainstorming here, but maybe some scenes showing him unsettled by news reports on the financial crisis and his role in it, even though, he was just doing his job, guilt about that, I think that would put him in the starting place you were looking for. And if you wanted to tie in the end with him working on some sort of financial reform or consumer protection legislation, that would make it more significant.
  
  One other note, I think you really need to note in the scene descriptions some sort of time frame for the reader's reference, it got kind of confusing as he was talking to Paul, going back in time and telling him all the stuff that happened, each time you change time, I think it should be noted.
  
  Other than that I thought it was a really good story. Here are my page by page notes:
  
  No title page
  Pg. 2 Should be: Meghan smiles as she flips through Cosmo?
  Pg 5 - What are the three items? They were never referred to again.
  Pg 6 - where did Blake get the beer from?
  Pg. 24 Interrogatories? What is that?
  Pg. 25 for the higher risk tranches? explain more
  Pg. 31 I think Bob would be offended by Blake saying
  "I don't want to be in your situation" That is pretty insulting,
  no one wants to here that. At least soften it.
  Pg. 37 I don't think anything I think what Blake is trying to say
  is that he isn't going to get a bonus but it isn't very clear.
  Pg. 38 vagina monologues in here shouldn't team you two up? Awkward
  Meghan - Not if I have any say in THE cooking
  Pg. 113 - WOULD I rather wear those shoes?
  Pg. 114 Consisting of tomorrow going much like today, should
  it be taking place tomorrow?
  pg. 121 What exactly is Meghan upset about? Don't get it. She's
  been with the guy for a while, he's always worked 100 hours a week, now it
  all pays off, what is the problem? This needs to be explored more, I think.
  Pg. 124 - Paul tells him to pick one thing, what did he decide?
  read