Reviews of Up for Grabs 36

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  Review: Up for Grabs
  A review of Up for Grabs
  by JohnDowgin on 07/06/2004
  Very funny script, talented writer, GREAT concept. Issue 1 - title doesn't cut it - need to convey the concept. 2 - the genitals only talk when you need them to. Feels like a contrivance (albeit a funny one), should feel integral to story. Either they talk all the time or not at all, IMHO. 3 - Consolidate characters wherever you can. Steven needs to be more equivalent to Greta;... Very funny script, talented writer, GREAT concept. Issue 1 - title doesn't cut it - need to convey the concept. 2 - the genitals only talk when you need them to. Feels like a contrivance (albeit a funny one), should feel integral to story. Either they talk all the time or not at all, IMHO. 3 - Consolidate characters wherever you can. Steven needs to be more equivalent to Greta; he's introd too late. 4 - I don't think you need to explain her glass ceiling with dialogue; I got it by seeing how she gets treated by colleagues. 5 - The play at the end goes on way too long - it can only take up such space if it relates directly to Mike finding his feminine side; now it's a big time out from the story at the climax. My BIG note - FARTHER WITH CONCEPT; anytime Mike or Karen explains something about their apparatus, cut it in favor of showing what happened. I was sure we were going to see Karen trying to go to the bathrrom while aroused. As always, less talk, more show. Sounds like a bash but it's NOT. This is a script that someone will pay for. Congrats, keep at it. Email me if I've made no sense. read
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  solid effort but...
  A review of Up for Grabs
  by colblimp1 on 02/10/2004
  Generally, I enjoyed the script. The premise is good and the characters are well drawn. I do have some issues though.Both Michael and Karen have other people who are attacted to them but their storylines are left unresolved. is there anyway you can you can weave them into the ending?I'd also consider cutting back on the play within the movie. keep enough to make Mike sucess... Generally, I enjoyed the script. The premise is good and the characters are well drawn. I do have some issues though.Both Michael and Karen have other people who are attacted to them but their storylines are left unresolved. is there anyway you can you can weave them into the ending?I'd also consider cutting back on the play within the movie. keep enough to make Mike sucess apparent but you could get away with trimming one page.Also, is there any way Mike And Karen can interact more in the script. That relationship feels too thin right now to justify the ending.you got a lot of good things though, it just need a little more work.(Love the last line!) read
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  Same song, different beat
  A review of Up for Grabs
  by JHorsting on 01/17/2004
  The gimmick is cute, the writing pro, but I was distracted by the lack of description. Characterization is so minimal, one could judge only by dialogue that the principles were all...immature? It's daring to have all the main characters so unlikeable at first, and the settings so vague--as if what we are seeing isn't very important. The play-within-a play feels contrived,... The gimmick is cute, the writing pro, but I was distracted by the lack of description. Characterization is so minimal, one could judge only by dialogue that the principles were all...immature? It's daring to have all the main characters so unlikeable at first, and the settings so vague--as if what we are seeing isn't very important. The play-within-a play feels contrived, and off-stage, Mike seems out of character as an actor. The extended masturbation scenes are more vulgar rather than revealing--the tail wagging the dog as it were. And why on earth aren't the characters trying to solve the problem? It's all so passive. The women here are women as a man might wish they would be-- sexual beings whose jobs and relationships are secondary to any opportunity to hook up--but maybe this is the kind of girl one meets at Hooters. The men, gay and straight, are right out of sit-com land. Although the concept is funny and should be rich, surprising and character revealing, instead, everyone here seems superficial and predictable. The SP hits the same note over and over--men and women are different. Ironically, by the end of the story, the genitals haven't learned a thing. read
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  What A Dick
  A review of Up for Grabs
  by omar_ordonez on 01/07/2004
  I went through several feelings as I read this screenplay. At first I thought the idea was ridiculous; as I began to read, the first 25 pages confirmed my fears, I was bored to death, had no empathy for either of the characters, and thought the idea was so unconventional, like a child throwing a tantrum to get attention. From page 25 on though, I could not put it down, I... I went through several feelings as I read this screenplay. At first I thought the idea was ridiculous; as I began to read, the first 25 pages confirmed my fears, I was bored to death, had no empathy for either of the characters, and thought the idea was so unconventional, like a child throwing a tantrum to get attention. From page 25 on though, I could not put it down, I actually enjoyed the entire story. I loved it! It was a learning experience, moving, and funny at times. This is an awesome piece of work, just check the beginning because it didn’t catch my attention – I’m glad I continued reading, otherwise I would have missed out on one of the best sp I’ve read on TS. read
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  What we have here is a failure to communicate.
  A review of Up for Grabs
  by painet on 01/04/2004
  Novel idea?.. exchange genitals to understand the opposite sex. It's like clitoral mutilation and eunichism in a comedy genre. I'm not sure I buy the idea. I don't think it's a movie I would watch... although watching a naked, well built female with a 9 incher, that's not a strap-on, ravishing another female would be a good idea for a porno. That's one I might watch.
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  You Won Me Over
  A review of Up for Grabs
  by Lexey on 01/03/2004
  As I started reading this SP, I soon began thinking, "hmm...a little crude for my taste, but IT IS a HALL OF FAMER, keep going with it." I'm so glad I did! Pg 13 - you got me smiling, 14 - now I'm laughing, continuing on - tears in my eyes, out loud laughing. Now the following is ONLY MY OPINION. Sometimes I felt you unnecessarily crossed over that very thin line between... As I started reading this SP, I soon began thinking, "hmm...a little crude for my taste, but IT IS a HALL OF FAMER, keep going with it." I'm so glad I did! Pg 13 - you got me smiling, 14 - now I'm laughing, continuing on - tears in my eyes, out loud laughing. Now the following is ONLY MY OPINION. Sometimes I felt you unnecessarily crossed over that very thin line between funny/crude. Watching it at home, fine, I'd probably be LMAO, but in a theater with mixed company, some (especially couples), might find it a tad bit embarrassing. These few moments were funny without the extra. An example - the PMS/MS scene, just crosses that line. TMI. Like Steven says, "Bad visual. Did not want to see that." I personally did not want to see Mike examing his winged maxi pad. That is just one example, I'm sure you understand what I'm trying to say. Moving on - the small sample of drama given to us through Mike's stage play was as moving as your comedy is hilarious. I feel funny admitting that when the patrons wipe tears from their eyes, tears also sprung to my eyes. (Blame it on PMS). So...can't say you had me from hello, however you won me over! Best of luck and thanks for all the laughs! read
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  I Was Grabed
  A review of Up for Grabs
  by chaztv on 01/02/2004
  There was only one thing that didn't work for me in this plot, but I think it is something that needs to be fixed, no matter what you want to do with this script next: Except for their physical attraction, what is there between M & K that works as a basis for a relationship? He's a slob; she's compulsive. Will audiences still buy the opposites attract ploy? I don't think... There was only one thing that didn't work for me in this plot, but I think it is something that needs to be fixed, no matter what you want to do with this script next: Except for their physical attraction, what is there between M & K that works as a basis for a relationship? He's a slob; she's compulsive. Will audiences still buy the opposites attract ploy? I don't think so. I believe this flaw spoils this as a true romantic comedy. From the beginning, I never thought their relationship had a future. I was waiting to see if you would have that change as part of the story. That said, I can imagine three choices: 1) set up the relationship as workable, a great future spoiled by the genital/sexual misunderstanding in Act I; or 2) keep it as is, let the M & K grow from the experience, realize they not right for each other, but stay friends, move on, etc.; or 3) more Act II interaction where the audience sees that M & K are growing together and really perfect for each other (instead of keeping them apart as you have now). Otherwise, what a wonderful concept, and so well told. Congrats! read
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  ALMOST HAD ME
  A review of Up for Grabs
  by **DELETED ACCOUNT** on 12/24/2003
  Well written, based on a concept that reminded me of how much I enjoyed Thorne Smith stories years ago. I've always enjoyed the switch. The problem here, I just didn''t care about about Mike and Karen enough. I think they would have been more shocked at their unusual predicament. The beginning was great. Should have heard more from Rod and Rosie, but what would the... Well written, based on a concept that reminded me of how much I enjoyed Thorne Smith stories years ago. I've always enjoyed the switch. The problem here, I just didn''t care about about Mike and Karen enough. I think they would have been more shocked at their unusual predicament. The beginning was great. Should have heard more from Rod and Rosie, but what would the visuals be? At one point I got more interested in James and Hilary. That was a distration. Nice attempt, though. Good luck.. read
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  I need to take a shower...
  A review of Up for Grabs
  by SamDawg on 12/19/2003
  This is an "interesting" take on the romcom genre, and the twist of switched genitals is definitely unique. The dialogue is snappy, and the script moves pretty fast. The source of the comedy wasn't my particular bag, however. Watching a man have a period and a women talk about how her penis ejaculated all over the kitchen counter didn't strike me as funny... more shocking... This is an "interesting" take on the romcom genre, and the twist of switched genitals is definitely unique. The dialogue is snappy, and the script moves pretty fast. The source of the comedy wasn't my particular bag, however. Watching a man have a period and a women talk about how her penis ejaculated all over the kitchen counter didn't strike me as funny... more shocking than anything. The characters, while quirky, seemed very stereotypical. By the end, I wasn't sure what you were trying to say about men and women. For example, Karen's plight of a sexist workplace is understandable, but she doesn't stick it to her boss until she has a penis. What is that supposed to mean? A penis is directly related to power? It comes across more sexist than before. The same with Mike's "emotional" performance. There's not much at stake, emotionally, as all the characters are concerned with is sex. Also, lose the camera direction. All in all, it's an interesting experiment but the characters motives and arcs need some work. Inject more emotion into this and it will improve by miles. read
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  Like "Face Off"... But With Genitals
  A review of Up for Grabs
  by David Muhlfelder on 12/18/2003
  I've been intrigued by this script ever since I first saw it on the site, and the concept is a lot of fun. I liked the exchanges between Rosie and Big Rod, and I missed hearing from them in the middle of the script. Since this is a fantasy, I don't see why they can't keep in touch even after Michael and Karen break up, or at least continue to comment to us individually. I didn't... I've been intrigued by this script ever since I first saw it on the site, and the concept is a lot of fun. I liked the exchanges between Rosie and Big Rod, and I missed hearing from them in the middle of the script. Since this is a fantasy, I don't see why they can't keep in touch even after Michael and Karen break up, or at least continue to comment to us individually. I didn't feel the story took full advantage of the concept. You showed us how the switch affected Mike and Karen's work life, but the effect on their personal lives was underdeveloped. You set up some great comic obstacles with Rick and Kat, but then dropped them too easily. Overall, the scenes felt overlong, especially the ones between Karen and Mike at the beginning, the ones involving the play rehearsals and performance, and the scenes with Karen at work. They seemed to diffuse the central conflict. I wasn't totally invested in Mike and Karen getting back together. For me the best relationships were Mike and Steve, and Karen and Greta. The dialogue was natural, but not as flat out hilarious as I hoped for. But with some editing and focusing, this could be outstanding. Even so, it's still a nice piece of work. read