Reviews of VORTEX 29

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  Oh The Humainity
  A review of VORTEX
  by SteveBent on 05/07/2003
  Make us care about your hero and we might stay tuned. He's a billionaire (so already he's hard to relate to) an yet if we saw his human side we might feel empathy with his story. This reminded me of Crowes Vanilla Sky (again a crisp Sci Fi premise lacking the elements that connect with the audience) It's well written. but not filmic or visual enough. It feels like it would... Make us care about your hero and we might stay tuned. He's a billionaire (so already he's hard to relate to) an yet if we saw his human side we might feel empathy with his story. This reminded me of Crowes Vanilla Sky (again a crisp Sci Fi premise lacking the elements that connect with the audience) It's well written. but not filmic or visual enough. It feels like it would make a great introspective novel given a wider scope or a tight episode of The Outer Limits given a slighter one. read
• 
  Good but not great
  A review of VORTEX
  by NickArgall on 03/12/2003
  The sense of timing in this script is brilliant, just when I thought I knew what was going to happen, the direction changed. After that, reading to the end was easy and enjoyable.Downsides: a small handful of typos and spelling errors (the way a person walks is spelled 'gait' not 'gate'). Some apparent changes of voice - I had a feeling that characters would start out speaking... The sense of timing in this script is brilliant, just when I thought I knew what was going to happen, the direction changed. After that, reading to the end was easy and enjoyable.Downsides: a small handful of typos and spelling errors (the way a person walks is spelled 'gait' not 'gate'). Some apparent changes of voice - I had a feeling that characters would start out speaking very formally and meander into the same sort of casual chatter, regardless of who they were. Having a character (the business rival) deliver a long formal speech followed by "Yeah, it's a big ole battery" was jarring.I'm not sure that it matters that the characters are never really explored in depth, because this story is about events, not characters. However, the billionaire's decision at the very end, after getting his wife back, to find a way to revive the main character rang false for me.In summary, this screenplay was a brilliant ride, but after the initial excitement wears off, the audience will forget it. read
• 
  Interesting, but jumps the gun a little bit
  A review of VORTEX
  by atredies on 03/11/2003
  It started out a little shaky, but came together towards the middle. Lots of good twists, but my issue came with the final twists near the end. I felt the "mother" realization was not handled with the proper amount of gravity and by that time, the antagonists had switched back and forth so much that i found i just didn't trust any of the characters anymore. Lastly, i wasn't... It started out a little shaky, but came together towards the middle. Lots of good twists, but my issue came with the final twists near the end. I felt the "mother" realization was not handled with the proper amount of gravity and by that time, the antagonists had switched back and forth so much that i found i just didn't trust any of the characters anymore. Lastly, i wasn't thrilled with fading out on Skye in the box, i would have had her triumph over it herself, almost as if she was even stronger than her mother. read
• 
  Good Story.
  A review of VORTEX
  by markod on 03/11/2003
  This is a good story with decent characters and good visual story telling. The dialogue at some points could have been better particualry in the opening scenes with the college kids. The 2 main Characters are well written and interact well together. The main secondary character is also drawn very well. The other characters are some what sterotypical ie the sleazy lawyer/ corporate... This is a good story with decent characters and good visual story telling. The dialogue at some points could have been better particualry in the opening scenes with the college kids. The 2 main Characters are well written and interact well together. The main secondary character is also drawn very well. The other characters are some what sterotypical ie the sleazy lawyer/ corporate banker type however as the story is about the 2 main characters it is not a huge issue. The first half of the story is alot stronger then the second half. The second seems to suffer what the majourity of screenplays suffer from in trying to tie in a twist as well intrigue and double crossing etc. If the story remained as basic and as real as the first half it would in my opinion being a better picture. In summary it is a good story that keeps you interested however it has a touch of " hollywoodisation" about it ie the story is strong involving different themes such as relationships, sprituality and then it moves into action mode and ends up like a lot of other movies. read
• 
  Cool Concept
  A review of VORTEX
  by brentlittle on 02/19/2003
  The author has a great premise here. I really like the idea of the desert and the vortex of magnetic fields being a life source. I did like the character Skye, and was sympathetic to her. Rockwell was drawn well also. I would have liked to know a bit more about how he got all his money. His loyal friend of 20 years turning on him suddenly, I could not buy, and then just as... The author has a great premise here. I really like the idea of the desert and the vortex of magnetic fields being a life source. I did like the character Skye, and was sympathetic to her. Rockwell was drawn well also. I would have liked to know a bit more about how he got all his money. His loyal friend of 20 years turning on him suddenly, I could not buy, and then just as quickly going back. Hard to swallow. It wasnt clear if Rockwell was her dad, or just married to her mother. Loved your use of words, laconic, mackerel sky, etc. The description was very vivid and visual. Taut is twice spelled taught. I would have liked to have seen a resolution. Its just creepy seeing her stuck on ice until maybe he finds the answer. Overall good job. read
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  Author or director
  A review of VORTEX
  by sunnyl on 02/18/2003
  This is the first screen play I have reviewed on this site and I wish I could have given it a better rating. It took me so many pages to get to the idea behind the story that I had to go back and scan some pages. It seems that there is too much description to pull me in at the beginning. Also, the characters had no emotional magnetism. Whether I want to see the heo/heroin... This is the first screen play I have reviewed on this site and I wish I could have given it a better rating. It took me so many pages to get to the idea behind the story that I had to go back and scan some pages. It seems that there is too much description to pull me in at the beginning. Also, the characters had no emotional magnetism. Whether I want to see the heo/heroin live happily ever after or the villain die. I didn't care what happened to anyone in this story. They need some life and humanism. Skye started out as a person who understood herself then seemed to accept these odd occurences, which would have had my heart beating like a scared rabbit, without reason.On the other side of the coin, I was fascinated by the author's imagination and ability to see things as they are, would be or could be. I could feel the enthusiasm of getting the audience to see what he could see in his mind. I started thinking what a great director this person would make. read
• 
  Found a new friend...
  A review of VORTEX
  by jaycentee on 02/12/2003
  the fountian of youth with a Vortex... It has its limitations when you really want to do things wit hthis film. I always know when there is a fountian of youth involved the film tends to fail. there is great potentual for this to be picked up from a studio but with drastic changes in structure of the ride of the film. With a few more additions and story plot lines this will... the fountian of youth with a Vortex... It has its limitations when you really want to do things wit hthis film. I always know when there is a fountian of youth involved the film tends to fail. there is great potentual for this to be picked up from a studio but with drastic changes in structure of the ride of the film. With a few more additions and story plot lines this will be a hell of an idea. read
• 
  Vortex Lacks Spin
  A review of VORTEX
  by **DELETED ACCOUNT** on 02/12/2003
  Lost teenagers, mysterious American Indians, conspiracy theories, 'vortex energy,' suits, and dying billionaires - this new-age fountain-of-youth fable failed to hold my attention. It lacked any originality of ideas or characterisation and suffered from familiar and somewhat mechanical plot devices. To pull off a story like this, the script needs characters we care about (or... Lost teenagers, mysterious American Indians, conspiracy theories, 'vortex energy,' suits, and dying billionaires - this new-age fountain-of-youth fable failed to hold my attention. It lacked any originality of ideas or characterisation and suffered from familiar and somewhat mechanical plot devices. To pull off a story like this, the script needs characters we care about (or are intrigued by), and villains (such as they are) who are genuinely creepy. Skye, the central character is originally portrayed as independent and intelligent yet this soon disappears as the mechanics of the plot force her to act against type. She shows no 'strength' and things simply 'happen to her.' In addition, Rockwell, the billionaire off/on/off villain, fails to have that certain edginess needed for characters that straddle the good/bad divide. He is either black or white (depending on the scene) when an unappealing (yet ultimately good) character would have been appropriate and more interesting.Most of all, there was no 'Wow!' factor about any part of this script. It lacks an imprint, an idea - a focus: e.g. the force of good emerging from the desire for bad. Anything. This script lacks the grand concept. read
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  Nice Idea backed by good writing
  A review of VORTEX
  by mfinucane on 02/11/2003
  Well written. Prose gives good clear visuals. Good cutting & pace. Intelligent writing. Dialogue is of a very good standard. Good humour too. (This writer should try writing a comedy.) This story felt like it was in the “Phenomenon” vogue. David Cronenberg would be a great director for this.I felt the middle section did drag a bit. Rockwell's repeated collapses became a... Well written. Prose gives good clear visuals. Good cutting & pace. Intelligent writing. Dialogue is of a very good standard. Good humour too. (This writer should try writing a comedy.) This story felt like it was in the “Phenomenon” vogue. David Cronenberg would be a great director for this.I felt the middle section did drag a bit. Rockwell's repeated collapses became a little tiresome. Chounard's defection is also not believable enough.But the characters in this story are generally strong and and the storyline is well developed.The ending is good, but maybe not as strong as it needs to be to really pull a film like this off. However, this is easily the best script I've read yet on this site. read
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  I'm confused
  A review of VORTEX
  by weddingcrooner on 12/28/2002
  I guess everybody has their opinions, but I am in complete disagreement of the recent reviews of this script. I was attracted by the fact it was a Nicholl quarter finalist. The author has a good sense of how to paint pictures on the page. I could visualize the frames. Suprisingly, I found myself reading all of the descriptions and not skipping over them. There is a great... I guess everybody has their opinions, but I am in complete disagreement of the recent reviews of this script. I was attracted by the fact it was a Nicholl quarter finalist. The author has a good sense of how to paint pictures on the page. I could visualize the frames. Suprisingly, I found myself reading all of the descriptions and not skipping over them. There is a great deal of descriptions too. The dialogue was not exactly lively or original, but a lot of it was tight and flowed nicely. I think the exposition type dialogue needs work though. I would like to get more into Skye's character early on. I think the first 15 pages she just seems like one of those 2 dimensional heroines in a slasher movie. I thought it was a pretty original and fresh take on the fountain of youth story and I liked how the native american stuff was combined with that. Magic wands, mushroom trips during a drum circle, cool stuff. It still doesn't really feel like a big screen movie. More like a sci fi channel movie or maybe Showtime. Althought the whole script was not like this. The opener reminded me of Hellraiser proportions. read