Comments About SFarrington 4

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  PabloSecca on 02/07/2011

  Thanks for the comments on the Orme Op. Yes, it's a long one -- perhaps if I had my druthers it might be the basis for a miniseries. But I agree that as it stands it's too long. Glad you enjoyed the dialogue.
  
  P
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  Michael Keller on 12/20/2010

  Thanks for the kind and thoughtful notes!
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  The_Last_Recluse on 11/21/2010

  Hey Sean, thanks for the review of The Devil’s Servant. Very helpful.
  
  Your concerns for Mike - I was trying to go for the most depressed I could get him, without it being too in your face. I had a scene where he writes a suicide note stating he’ll win the fight for Marc, and that he plans on killing himself, yada yada yada.
  
  And it’s funny you brought up Mike’s dialogue with randy. “hi, Randy, no not quite yet.” But originally it had meaning – as in “ soon though, because I’ll be dead”.
  
  After the fights, he goes to the bar for a final beer. It’s why he has the handgun. But then he ultimately kills Rich, and things spiral out of control. I had Marc find the note in Mike’s apartment and it be the final push to get him to cut his wings off.
  
  I cut it because I didn’t think it was needed, and I wasn’t a hundred percent sure Mike was the type of character to commit suicide. I think of him as the guy who holds everything back, doesn’t let anything show through, wont back down. And the Wild as the complete opposite, says everything, even talks to himself, runs when the going gets tough.
  
  No one’s pointed out that mike and Wild don’t meet up after their first acquaintance, where Mike kills him. So I take it that i was able to keep everyone’s attention away from that fact with enough other plots going on. And then their meeting in the sequel can have a bigger impact.
  
  I have no excuses for the spelling errors, only that I’m fairly new to writing and i’m taking my sweet time to improve. But if you say the pros do twenty, I’m thinking my forth draft is looking not too shabby.
  
  Anyway, thanks again. I’ll be sure to keep an eye out for your work.
  
  Blake.
  

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Comments About SFarrington 4

• 
  Quote

  PabloSecca on 02/07/2011

  Thanks for the comments on the Orme Op. Yes, it's a long one -- perhaps if I had my druthers it might be the basis for a miniseries. But I agree that as it stands it's too long. Glad you enjoyed the dialogue.
  
  P
• 
  Quote

  Michael Keller on 12/20/2010

  Thanks for the kind and thoughtful notes!
• 
  Quote

  The_Last_Recluse on 11/21/2010

  Hey Sean, thanks for the review of The Devil’s Servant. Very helpful.
  
  Your concerns for Mike - I was trying to go for the most depressed I could get him, without it being too in your face. I had a scene where he writes a suicide note stating he’ll win the fight for Marc, and that he plans on killing himself, yada yada yada.
  
  And it’s funny you brought up Mike’s dialogue with randy. “hi, Randy, no not quite yet.” But originally it had meaning – as in “ soon though, because I’ll be dead”.
  
  After the fights, he goes to the bar for a final beer. It’s why he has the handgun. But then he ultimately kills Rich, and things spiral out of control. I had Marc find the note in Mike’s apartment and it be the final push to get him to cut his wings off.
  
  I cut it because I didn’t think it was needed, and I wasn’t a hundred percent sure Mike was the type of character to commit suicide. I think of him as the guy who holds everything back, doesn’t let anything show through, wont back down. And the Wild as the complete opposite, says everything, even talks to himself, runs when the going gets tough.
  
  No one’s pointed out that mike and Wild don’t meet up after their first acquaintance, where Mike kills him. So I take it that i was able to keep everyone’s attention away from that fact with enough other plots going on. And then their meeting in the sequel can have a bigger impact.
  
  I have no excuses for the spelling errors, only that I’m fairly new to writing and i’m taking my sweet time to improve. But if you say the pros do twenty, I’m thinking my forth draft is looking not too shabby.
  
  Anyway, thanks again. I’ll be sure to keep an eye out for your work.
  
  Blake.
  
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  **DELETED ACCOUNT** on 11/19/2010

  Thanks for the review of Cherokee. You make some great points. Appreciate the praise too of course. Thanks. And I am still writing, working on a more straight forward linear love story right now. Should hopefully have the first draft done by the end of Dec. Then will take another look at Cherokee, and your notes will be quite helpful.
  
  Thanks again,
  Nick

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