Reviews of Black Molasses 13

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  A wonderful thing to read on Halloween...
  A review of Black Molasses
  by nickpetrovsky on 10/31/2012
  What a story. So effective. I was completely immersed and your protagonist was sympathetic and neutral enough for me to fully imagine myself in his situation. Your writing is so vivid that the images you described are probably going to be burnt into my skull forever. The ending was a bit of a damp squib, but it's forgiven on the strength of the rest of the story. Also, can... What a story. So effective. I was completely immersed and your protagonist was sympathetic and neutral enough for me to fully imagine myself in his situation. Your writing is so vivid that the images you described are probably going to be burnt into my skull forever.
  The ending was a bit of a damp squib, but it's forgiven on the strength of the rest of the story.
  
  Also, can I just say that "your..." had me laughing for about thirty seconds? I have a really specific sense of humour and, whether it was even intentional or not, that just got me. Anything that does for me deserves an applause, thank you.
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  I would have been done at the tooth!
  A review of Black Molasses
  by nick74 on 10/04/2012
  Rados, what's up? So... this was absolutely horrible. It was putrid, disgusting, awful, abhorrent, gruesome, repellent. Well done. There's no way to give a story like this criticism on plot and character formulation because, clearly, the only reason Black Molasses was written was to offer up some good ole shock value with its way-over-the-top imagery rather than to involve... Rados, what's up?
  
  So... this was absolutely horrible. It was putrid, disgusting, awful, abhorrent, gruesome, repellent. Well done.
  
  There's no way to give a story like this criticism on plot and character formulation because, clearly, the only reason Black Molasses was written was to offer up some good ole shock value with its way-over-the-top imagery rather than to involve an audience in some kind of complicated narrative rendering. Otherwise I would mystify over what the girl's ailment was. But ultimately, who cares? She melts. What else do you need to know?
  
  And I gotta tell you, the way you take this scenario and weave culinary condiments into it was terrific, if not, as I mentioned earlier, putrid, disgusting, etc. Applying what we consume, mainly for joy, like molasses and jam and stuff like that, to a story of this organic magnitude turns a reader's defenses way the fuck up in terms of appetite. I'll never slather on the peanut butter and jelly the same way again. In fact, I may not do it at all.
  
  And somehow, you still managed to create a character that your audience has genuine sympathy towards. I was so afraid at the beginning of the story that this was going to be some violent bloodfest, but to my surprise, and delight, it turned out to be the innocent telling of a guy who had to stand helplessly by, despite his best intentions, while the hottie in the dress... does whatever the hell it is she does.
  
  You consider yourself dark, yes, but I think Black Molasses paints you as being dark in the way the original Bruce Campbell Evil Dead movie is dark, as opposed to, say, Hell Raiser or The Exorcist. Vivid but with a story arc that grows to whimsical proportions pushing the reader over the edge. Fun stuff. Quite memorable.
  
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• 
  Great gross-out read
  A review of Black Molasses
  by asankagurusinghe on 07/20/2012
  A very dark comedy. I thought it was very inventive and a gruelling thing to finish. It could be a short film by Brian Yuzna/ Sam Raimi/ Stuart Gordon or Cronenburg in the 80s. Was it an AIDS metaphor the way it mixed sex and body horror? I thought it was clever how it took a path from mundane perviness to the fantastically grotesque with horribly vivid descriptions. It made... A very dark comedy. I thought it was very inventive and a gruelling thing to finish. It could be a short film by Brian Yuzna/ Sam Raimi/ Stuart Gordon or Cronenburg in the 80s. Was it an AIDS metaphor the way it mixed sex and body horror? I thought it was clever how it took a path from mundane perviness to the fantastically grotesque with horribly vivid descriptions. It made me quite greatful for my mundane life. Who were your literary influences? read
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  Pointless Gorefest Delivers the Details
  A review of Black Molasses
  by **DELETED ACCOUNT** on 06/05/2012
  Ryan Rados' short story "Black Molasses" exults the horrific by glamorizing the decomposition of a woman who's still walking, talking and trying to have sex with the protagonist. Vivid descriptions of the morbidly ill victim, as she loses first her tooth, then her vagina and finally the rest of her, abound on every page. Yet as a former reader of the horror genre I have to... Ryan Rados' short story "Black Molasses" exults the horrific by glamorizing the decomposition of a woman who's still walking, talking and trying to have sex with the protagonist. Vivid descriptions of the morbidly ill victim, as she loses first her tooth, then her vagina and finally the rest of her, abound on every page. Yet as a former reader of the horror genre I have to ask: what is the point?! Rados is a capable writer and does a good job with the macabre details; but he forgets to include A) an explanation of the what caused the woman to decompose, and B) any symbolism or metaphor larger than the overly gruesome story itself. His reference to Ayn Rand's ATLAS SHRUGGED is a mystery, as is his decision to have the protagonist try to clean up the "mess" instead of immediately calling a physician. The flippant last sentence is cute enough. But "cute" fails to satisfy the enormity of the inexplicable situation, which includes the possibility of a viral epidemic, the living dead, or a moralistic spook of some sort out to terrorize a man who finds his sex partners online. read
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  Interesting, I think
  A review of Black Molasses
  by alexherrin on 04/17/2012
  I read some reviews for this piece so I decided to do a free will review. This is also my first review in a while, so it must have really sparked my interest. I was PUMPED after reading the first couple pages. I thought this was really going to go somewhere. The suspense was there. The build-up was intense. I wasn't sure what was going to happen. Maybe she was going... I read some reviews for this piece so I decided to do a free will review. This is also my first review in a while, so it must have really sparked my interest.
  
  I was PUMPED after reading the first couple pages. I thought this was really going to go somewhere. The suspense was there. The build-up was intense. I wasn't sure what was going to happen. Maybe she was going to turn into a monster and he was going to have to kill her?
  
  But instead it just turned into 12 pages of the author describing a woman falling apart. Then the guy's boss came home. Oh no!
  
  Bonus points for originality, kind of, I've seen this before in Japanese manga/anime.
  
  I see how people like this and appreciate it, but I felt that it could have been much more, and just doesn't really qualify as a horror, but more like a comedy, what with all the vomiting. You know you've written a comedy when characters keep throwing up and/or using the bathroom.
  
  Congratulations on writing a well-received story. read
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  Oh my life, that's disgusting!
  A review of Black Molasses
  by vieira4 on 04/14/2012
  Wow... I have to admit, I had to skim quite a bit of the end, taking in enough details to understand what was going on without focusing too hard, or I, like the protagonist, would have been sick. Ugh. I don't know how you came up with this :D Having said all that, your writing is excellent. I didn't spot any mistakes. I loved your description of Carlucci and his home, and... Wow... I have to admit, I had to skim quite a bit of the end, taking in enough details to understand what was going on without focusing too hard, or I, like the protagonist, would have been sick. Ugh. I don't know how you came up with this :D
  
  Having said all that, your writing is excellent. I didn't spot any mistakes. I loved your description of Carlucci and his home, and the protagonist's motivation for house-sitting. Interesting that the woman/creature didn't have a heart. Is this some established horror-creature you're describing, or did you make it up? If she's all yours, what was your motivation for making her heartless? (Sorry for the pun.) I wonder if she wanted to have sex one last time before she died?
  
  The only thing I'm not sure about is the ending. I did like the last line, the punchline - you'd never expect to have to say 'It's not what you think' in that situation - but it wasn't how I thought how it was going to end, and I thought it was weaker than the story. I'd have made the protagonist finish clearing up in time, only for his tooth to fall out, I think! I'm absolutely hopeless at ending stories well, though, so I don't really have any right to comment. Generally, this was very good. Thanks for submitting it. read
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  BAGGING HELENA
  A review of Black Molasses
  by Tripsheet Revision on 01/10/2012
  While not a story to read too close to dinner, coming or going, I not only found this tale to be filled with shock and awe, but quite a bit of humor, too. Reminds me somewhat of the kind of fiasco Laurel and Hardy used to get into, only, of course, it’s much more grim and tasteless. But grim and tasteless seems to be what the writer wants -- and he succeeds wildly. The story... While not a story to read too close to dinner, coming or going, I not only found this tale to be filled with shock and awe, but quite a bit of humor, too. Reminds me somewhat of the kind of fiasco Laurel and Hardy used to get into, only, of course, it’s much more grim and tasteless. But grim and tasteless seems to be what the writer wants -- and he succeeds wildly. The story is well written, crisp and free flowing, without annoying asides or too much detail to burden the narrative. It’s easy to visualize -- how could it not be? In fact, I’ll be visualizing it at least through the noon meal today. I didn’t find any major or minor flaws, such as in punctuation or logic, but, of course, I was somewhat distracted by the content. Bottom line, I think this is well written, with perhaps something of an unsatisfying conclusion; one did hope for more when the boss came home. And the title doesn't connect to the story, even given the black molasses comparisons throughout. Maybe something like 'My Dinner With Andrea.' Anyway, good job. read
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  Black Molasses -Review
  A review of Black Molasses
  by covofdark on 01/09/2012
  Hey Ryan, I’ve been on a bit of good luck lately on TS reading short stories and yours is no exception. You’re a sick puppy with a dark imagination. I hope you’re not my neighbor and definitely not the type of character in this story; I’ll have to start packing. I just finished reading, “Black Molasses.” It’s good and dark. Yummy. The story is told through the first person,... Hey Ryan,
  
  I’ve been on a bit of good luck lately on TS reading short stories and yours is no exception. You’re a sick puppy with a dark imagination. I hope you’re not my neighbor and definitely not the type of character in this story; I’ll have to start packing. I just finished reading, “Black Molasses.” It’s good and dark. Yummy.
  
  The story is told through the first person, while house sitting a higher-end home for a friend named Dick Carlucci. The story opens with the killer cleaning up a murder scene of a lady he just met online. Then, it’s told in flashback of the actually meeting and the murder. I first got grossed out over her tooth in his mouth but it added a lot of character to the victim. From this point forward, you took extra care to gross out your audience. I only wished you had delved into why her body was falling apart—turning to molasses so to speak. Otherwise, your attention to detail is exquisite.
  
  1. Title Okay. 2. Good concept 3. Good characters. 4. Pacing is good. 5. Structure Good. Overall, it was a bit of over the top for me, nonetheless, good writing and it entertains. All my best and good luck read
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  Icky
  A review of Black Molasses
  by Cheyenne30 on 12/15/2011
  I am the type of person that loves to watch and read stories or shows about blood and guts. I have to give you some major credits. You grossed me out when I read your story. You hit the gross factor scale of beyond a 10. I could not believe just how fast I wanted to stop reading the story within the first 3 to 4 pages. Somehow I made it through. What did the lady end up having?... I am the type of person that loves to watch and read stories or shows about blood and guts. I have to give you some major credits. You grossed me out when I read your story. You hit the gross factor scale of beyond a 10. I could not believe just how fast I wanted to stop reading the story within the first 3 to 4 pages. Somehow I made it through. What did the lady end up having? What caused her to literally die right in front of the other guy? Did the main character end up getting the disease? I did not notice any grammar or spelling mistakes. I just hope the next story I read of yours does not make me nauseated like this story did. Good job! read
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  Blurrgh!
  A review of Black Molasses
  by MaxWatt on 12/13/2011
  Sorry, this would have been up last night, but my internet sucks. "Black Molasses" is a repulsive story full of gross imagery that shows the talent and potential of the author. As far as the concept goes, I don't know. Is this story to be taken literally? Or is it a metaphor about online dating? Taking the latter interpretation into account, the protagonist remains inhumanly... Sorry, this would have been up last night, but my internet sucks.
  
  "Black Molasses" is a repulsive story full of gross imagery that shows the talent and potential of the author. As far as the concept goes, I don't know. Is this story to be taken literally? Or is it a metaphor about online dating? Taking the latter interpretation into account, the protagonist remains inhumanly calm the entire time, which makes the whole thing surreal. It reminds me of "The Metamorphosis", I found it very difficult to imagine that what was happening was in fact happening. Either way, this has unbounded potential to repulse, alienate and scare the reader.
  
  The scene where the girl is dying (and in a very horrific way too!) you take it too far. Not that it's too much for me to take or anything like that, or obscene, just that it becomes too absurd and loses its impact. Keep it simple.
  
  "Friday was quiet" - Perhaps this is a better place to begin the story. From this point the information prior becomes irrelevant. This is a nice hook which is a direct link to the whole premise of the story, and eases the reader in faster. The whole introduction to the mess in the apartment is very effective writing but it just feels as though it's not really needed and that it's only there to be clever.
  
  "rusted metal and old socks"
  "I yank my fingers out of her and it makes the sound of a spoon being pulled out of mashed potatoes." - in both these instances you're using comedy. It works, I certainly laughs, but it just feels out of place in this story.
  
  "realizing that this whole date was a bad idea." - stating the obvious.
  
  "Her lips seem torn" - not enough impact. Try "Her lips are torn"
  
  "I'll have to stop the flow before it goes underneath. What a mess.' - okay? The girl is bleeding profusely and yet the guy is more concerned about the mess? I think you need to sort his priorities out. It's the same story here: "Frightened of getting her juices on me, I let go"
  
  "She doesn't look fine," - redundant. This is obvious. The character needs to focus on his own actions, he shouldn't be speculating her well-being. It's too much of a panicked situation for that.
  
  "Her skin is so soft that it resembles melted mozzarella" - again, you're using too much comedy. Similes like this are like comedic observations. As successful they are in making the reader laugh, they don't belong in the story.
  
  "She turns her head and looks at me with her one eye and asks, “Why?”" - this is a hilarious image. I don't know if you were intending that, and if you were, well done, but it doesn't fit in.
  
  This is a good start, it just needs to be more consistent. Either it needs to go all out with comedy, or all out with horror. At the moment it feels like you hadn’t decided which. read