Reviews of Boot Camp 10

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  Had to read this – you had me at kitty feet.
  A review of Boot Camp
  by jwest on 05/19/2012
  Love this line - “A human that appeared, at worst indifferent, and at best easily trainable, was a dream come true.” “You are so obviously a male…” = lol! Daww, such a sweet story. Gonna be a short review, cos I loved it. Sad at the end – of course. But what a wonderful time in between. Before I had a cat, I didn't really understand the connections people had with their pets... Love this line - “A human that appeared, at worst indifferent, and at best easily trainable, was a dream come true.”
  
  “You are so obviously a male…” = lol!
  
  Daww, such a sweet story. Gonna be a short review, cos I loved it. Sad at the end – of course. But what a wonderful time in between. Before I had a cat, I didn't really understand the connections people had with their pets. Now I do.
  
  Thanks for the lovely read.
  
  Only a tiny quibble; he turned and faced the corner, became as still as a head stone, > he turned and faced the corner. He became as still as a head stone, … > I'd separate those two parts. Info gets a little lost in the extra long line.
  
  Best of luck with it and best wishes.
  read
• 
  Made me cry...
  A review of Boot Camp
  by atlhalfjap on 01/27/2012
  There's not much I can give you in the way of constructive criticism, the story is powerful, (especially for those who have had to euthanize a beloved animal) and one can feel the love and trust the characters have for each other. The idea that the cat is plotting his next move rings true with me because I have cats and I swear they know exactly what they are doing at all... There's not much I can give you in the way of constructive criticism, the story is powerful, (especially for those who have had to euthanize a beloved animal) and one can feel the love and trust the characters have for each other. The idea that the cat is plotting his next move rings true with me because I have cats and I swear they know exactly what they are doing at all times. In fact I had a cat once who chewed off every single frond off a large plant that had been given to me as a birthday present and when I got him from work was laying across it with a "Hey, look what I did! Ain't this great?!" look. I even did the whole "can't be on the bed" thing, and like your character... it was a futile effort.
  
  You did a great job of presenting the love and connection the characters shared, I could feel the love between them. The only thing I might have wanted more clarity on was the reason for Boots not feeling well, its unclear if he's simply old (you mentioned ten years, but most cats live longer than that) or if he's got some sort of illness that the vet can't cure.
  
  By the way, in one sentence you have "Boot" instead of "Boots".
  
  read
• 
  Farewell to Boot
  A review of Boot Camp
  by bigheadx on 05/06/2011
  Thank you for the opportunity to read this charming story. Despite its sad ending, it is a sweetly told tale of great poignancy. This reader does wonder why so many semi-colons were used when commas or periods would have been more appropriate, but perhaps that is a stylistic technique of the author's. Some readers may think your juxtaposition of the cat owner's thoughts... Thank you for the opportunity to read this charming story. Despite its sad ending, it is a sweetly told tale of great poignancy. This reader does wonder why so many semi-colons were used when commas or periods would have been more appropriate, but perhaps that is a stylistic technique of the author's.
  
  Some readers may think your juxtaposition of the cat owner's thoughts and words with the cat's thoughts a bit "precious" or cloying, but in this reader's opinion that denies the author the right to create a world as they see and hear it.
  
  Best of luck!
  
  TYPOS - GRAMMAR - WORD CHOICE - [suggestions]
  
  “There’s no damn way they’re getting me to sit on that today”, - “There’s no damn way they’re getting me to sit on that today,”
  
  front arm, inviting her to slowly move her hand =- front leg, inviting her to slowly move her hand
  
  dumb founded - dumbfounded
  
  knowing she would live to regret it Janice wrapped the cat - knowing she would live to regret it, Janice wrapped the cat
  
  “This is uncanny,” Janice mumbled through her tears, “How can you - “This is uncanny,” Janice mumbled through her tears. “How can you
  
  would have been far more effective, had she not picked Boot up - would have been far more effective had she not picked Boot up
  
  this isn‟t for you!” she said firmly, “Remember? - this isn‟t for you!” she said firmly. “Remember? ...
  
  dependant - dependent
  read
• 
  Sadness Ensues
  A review of Boot Camp
  by Rados on 01/28/2011
  You have an excellent way with words and write very well. I was expecting the cat to be unaware that he was going to be put down, but his intuition beat my expectations. The story, however, would have been much more effective had the cat been unaware of what was coming. "See you in a few hours when I wake up" would have been truly sad. Some cats probably do know when their... You have an excellent way with words and write very well. I was expecting the cat to be unaware that he was going to be put down, but his intuition beat my expectations. The story, however, would have been much more effective had the cat been unaware of what was coming. "See you in a few hours when I wake up" would have been truly sad.
  
  Some cats probably do know when their time has come, but for a more tragic effect, I would have preferred my ending.
  
  The story was heart-warming at best. The only thing, writing wise, that I would recommend would be to refrain from using the word "piss". The story had a neutral attitude until you used that word. Stick with "pee" or "urine". Piss sounds too crude and doesn't fit with the general feel of the story.
  
  Otherwise, good work. I liked it. read
• 
  Good Angle
  A review of Boot Camp
  by **DELETED ACCOUNT** on 01/28/2011
  The author captures the feline perspective quite well and the love between Janice and her long-time companion. While the story has a sad ending, there are parts of it that could use revising. I found the use of crude language at times very jarring to the pleasant atmosphere the author builds. I would think about revising this. And perhaps think about adding one or two examples... The author captures the feline perspective quite well and the love between Janice and her long-time companion. While the story has a sad ending, there are parts of it that could use revising. I found the use of crude language at times very jarring to the pleasant atmosphere the author builds. I would think about revising this. And perhaps think about adding one or two examples of their time together. It jumps from the beginning to the end quite quickly. Overall, though, a great story! read
• 
  Soulmates
  A review of Boot Camp
  by mnjones on 10/31/2010
  I enjoyed this lovely story of a woman's love for a cat who fills a vacant hole in her life and heart. It was a pleasure to read a piece that flowed so smoothly. It's such an easy read that one could be deceived into thinking it was easily written, but easy reading is not easy to write. There is no distractions here of run-on sentences, indifferent word choice, or careless... I enjoyed this lovely story of a woman's love for a cat who fills a vacant hole in her life and heart. It was a pleasure to read a piece that flowed so smoothly. It's such an easy read that one could be deceived into thinking it was easily written, but easy reading is not easy to write. There is no distractions here of run-on sentences, indifferent word choice, or careless punctuation.
  
  I like the way the story is told not only from the lonely woman's point of view, but also from
  the point of view of her soulmate, Boot. Touching, with humor, and without being overly sentimental.
  
  Very nice. read
• 
  Boot Camp
  A review of Boot Camp
  by YeahHi on 10/25/2010
  Well, you got me to cry, damn it! I liked that the story was told by the two points of view but that is typically troublesome in a short story. I didn’t have a hard time following it but you might consider doing extra line breaks between the alternate voices or italicizing all of Boot’s narrative (with regular text for his thoughts.) Otherwise, if you use italics for Boot’s... Well, you got me to cry, damn it! I liked that the story was told by the two points of view but that is typically troublesome in a short story. I didn’t have a hard time following it but you might consider doing extra line breaks between the alternate voices or italicizing all of Boot’s narrative (with regular text for his thoughts.)
  
  Otherwise, if you use italics for Boot’s thoughts, I don’t think you need the quotes.
  
  I thought some of the dialogue was unnecessary or too on-the-nose. You do a good job with showing us what’s going on so lines like these feel redundant (and unnatural):
  -- “This is uncanny,” Janice mumbled through her tears, “How can you possibly know I’m unhappy right now?
  -- “It’s okay, I’m here – don’t cry. Just keep petting me and you’ll feel better.”
  -- “I swear Boot, sometimes I think you are purposefully trying to trip me – now scat!”
  -- “I guess having no balls isn’t such a big deal after all,” Janice mused.
  
  “And today was the day” to get Boot fixed. But in fact it is not “today”. This should be past tense. Today he is being euthanized (sniff!)
  
  At the end, all of a sudden, Boot seems to understand what’s happening and is ok with it. That didn’t ring true and seemed too convenient or pat. Maybe he goes out not knowing he’s going out. Here you could repeat the “Wait for it…” in some way to book end that cute character trait of his.
  
  Sad and sweet! Best of luck with it,
  Shauna read
• 
  Marley and Me with a cat....
  A review of Boot Camp
  by TeddyRuxpin on 10/25/2010
  Nice, pleasant intro. At first I was thinking dog, but then it became clear that it was a cat. On page two, when referencing the “petting ritual” and the - “she or he”… I’m not really thinking the latter portion fits. Word-wise it does, it just kind of stops the flow of the story. Top of page 3, I like the allusion to the exposed belly of a cat and his trust for his owner... Nice, pleasant intro. At first I was thinking dog, but then it became clear that it was a cat. On page two, when referencing the “petting ritual” and the - “she or he”… I’m not really thinking the latter portion fits. Word-wise it does, it just kind of stops the flow of the story.
  Top of page 3, I like the allusion to the exposed belly of a cat and his trust for his owner. On the whole, page 3 is loaded with excellent detail and great backstory.
  Page 4, suddenly we’re thrown an ex-husband and she’s lonely. In a 12 page story, this info may be more relevant sooner than a third of the way through the story.
  In and around page 5 and 6, I started thinking that even though this story is about a woman finding comfort in her cat when the world has turned against her (so to say), but if this were turned into a short film or elaborated on, it might be a good story for teenage girls, kind of a “Marley and Me” with a cat and for girls.
  On page seven, you reference her using the same foot to shove him out the door with, which you had already referenced once before, right after Janice kicked Boot out the first time. Variation in description would help here.
  Once I got to page 7 it flowed nicely for the most part. A few parts where I felt we were jumping around a little bit, but that’s just something preferable to the writer in how the timeline is presented. The end is a downer, obviously, like I said…. It has that whole “Marley and Me” feel to it.
  
  Overall, I think the story is a simple and honest read. Lots of feelings in it, and particulars…I’m almost wondering if maybe Boot was a former cat of yours. The story and the characters are genuine and developed. This could almost be a movie if you could expand it, make it “Marley-esque” for cats. Can’t say I’ve ever seen a sad movie about a cat. “Homeward Bound” and “Milo and Otis” do not count. I had read in your writer’s bio that you were working up to working on a screenplay. You clearly have the ability to tell an interesting and well detailed story, maybe this is it. Best of luck to you. read
• 
  Life is Good When You Hold Me
  A review of Boot Camp
  by **DELETED ACCOUNT** on 10/22/2010
  I don't know if I can objectively review this piece since I and my two cats are the last remaining members of my family. So I must say right up front that this was read with a tear in my eye. The story's outcome was known by the end of the first page. But the way you moved from that ending/beginning to the story that brought Boot and Janice together then back to the ending... I don't know if I can objectively review this piece since I and my two cats are the last remaining members of my family. So I must say right up front that this was read with a tear in my eye.
  
  The story's outcome was known by the end of the first page. But the way you moved from that ending/beginning to the story that brought Boot and Janice together then back to the ending was wonderfully done.
  
  The humor of who trained who and inflecting it with Boot's point of view and dialog was, unfortunately, all to true and very funny. Anyone who owns a cat soon realizes that they permit you to live in their house and it is easier to just do things their way than to resist.
  
  This is also a tender love story. One of mutual support and understanding. It goes to that understanding of how vulnerable we all can be and how support and love can be found, we just need to look.
  
  There is really nothing critical for me to say about this piece. A very soft and tender piece delivered with warmth and reverence.
  read
• 
  unconditional love
  A review of Boot Camp
  by djburke on 10/21/2010
  This is a little story about a relationship with a cat. They say animals love us unconditionally and it was quite entertaining to imagine this cat was training it's owner. I have a dog and it feels the same way. Although this story has some charm it is a little bit dry and not particularly interesting. People tend to resort to loving animals when they have been hurt by people...
  This is a little story about a relationship with a cat. They say animals love us unconditionally and it was quite entertaining to imagine this cat was training it's owner. I have a dog and it feels the same way. Although this story has some charm it is a little bit dry and not particularly interesting.
  
  People tend to resort to loving animals when they have been hurt by people. This seemed to be the case with this story.
  
  I did feel for the owner when she had him put down.
  
  Not a bad story with some good bits in it. read