Reviews of Crisis 9

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  A Bit of a Sticky Wicket
  A review of Crisis
  by MarcTwine on 05/18/2013
  ...ummm... PLEASE paginate. This is a bit of a lengthy piece and it makes it much easier to reference comments. I realize from your Bio that you are enamored of what y'all call football. Imagine, if you will, that I attempted to describe "American" football: a bunch of guys line up and proceed to bash each other for possession of a pig-skin ball. With rules. Have I lost... ...ummm... PLEASE paginate. This is a bit of a lengthy piece and it makes it much easier to reference comments.
  
  I realize from your Bio that you are enamored of what y'all call football.
  
  Imagine, if you will, that I attempted to describe "American" football: a bunch of guys line up and proceed to bash each other for possession of a pig-skin ball. With rules.
  
  Have I lost you yet? Well, you lost me in the minutiae of your favorite sport.
  
  There needs to be a certain universality in a story. Something to which the un-initiated can relate. Didn't get that from this one.
  
  The attempt at injecting "romance" fell flat. An artifice. A contrivance.
  
  Like your style, but PLEASE...move along...spread your wings, try something new...you know, all the clichés. read
• 
  An ale for your ails, mate!
  A review of Crisis
  by nick74 on 10/16/2012
  This was a really, really great story. It was personal enough to be sad but had brevity enough to be humorous, and the points between were very entertaining. Everyone loves a story about the down-and-out being given their day, especially through unintended and unexpected circumstances. This story delivered that wonderfully. The highlight for me was when they encountered the... This was a really, really great story. It was personal enough to be sad but had brevity enough to be humorous, and the points between were very entertaining. Everyone loves a story about the down-and-out being given their day, especially through unintended and unexpected circumstances. This story delivered that wonderfully.
  
  The highlight for me was when they encountered the uncle up on top of the stadium pock-marking the pitch with pebbles (I feel British just saying that!) The language was rendered with perfect authenticity as it transported me straight to England, inside its shires and bergs and On-the-Whites with mention of Thatcher and proper football. I felt like I was in a real pub sipping real beer. I may read this story again in the future when I find myself opining for some old tyme fellowship.
  
  The characters were colorful, the dialog straight, the story well-paced. This is good work.
  
  I felt like the denumet with the returning love interest and the re-establishment of a football squad was anticlimactic in follow-up to the emotional mending that occurred between the uncle, mother and protag, but it also seemed a classic european narrative to include such things, so it only served to transport me to another place and time, all the more.
  
  Good story.
  read
• 
  For the Love of the Game
  A review of Crisis
  by **DELETED ACCOUNT** on 05/03/2012
  Lots of great pieces in this story. I appreciated how the the story grows and moves … collecting people, thoughts, various times and locations. It was a interesting journey. And, again, you've taught me more about sports :). Really enjoyed the interactions between the main character and his two girlfriends. Found that portion to be light and well placed in the story.... Lots of great pieces in this story. I appreciated how the the story grows and moves … collecting people, thoughts, various times and locations. It was a interesting journey. And, again, you've taught me more about sports :).
  
  Really enjoyed the interactions between the main character and his two girlfriends. Found that portion to be light and well placed in the story. Adding depth to the character. Well constructed.
  
  I really enjoyed your use of the internal dialogue with the main character. It brought an appreciated quickness of pace to the story that supported movement.
  
  The re-introduction of Naomi was a nice touch. As I read, I secretly was hoping for the character to be meet with her again.
  
  Couple of the paragraphs felt too lengthy and heavy. Lot my attention a wee-bit. Perhaps break them apart with some quick dialogue? You do have a gift for creating genuine characters. I'd love to see you expand on this and push the dialogue of characters a bit more. Allowing for their voice to be really present.
  
  Enjoyed this story. Thank you. Look forward to reading more of your works. read
• 
  Smooth like a slik
  A review of Crisis
  by sac123 on 03/23/2012
  The story ‘Crisis’ is light and pleasant, dealing the events in the life of a man in his forties. He is a soccer fan, facing a crisis on his birthday. The story brings every event in a light mood. The writer has used a language which is somewhat interactive. The Story floats well from one situation to another. Humor is also good. But the best thing about the story is that its... The story ‘Crisis’ is light and pleasant, dealing the events in the life of a man in his forties. He is a soccer fan, facing a crisis on his birthday. The story brings every event in a light mood. The writer has used a language which is somewhat interactive. The Story floats well from one situation to another. Humor is also good. But the best thing about the story is that its plot is related to problems in a life of a normal man. The feelings and the reactions are natural which adds a touch of reality to the plot. The use of language and narration is smooth, thereby making this story a good read for the first time. read
• 
  Review of 'Crisis' by vieira4
  A review of Crisis
  by TeaSeaInc on 02/15/2012
  I want to begin by noting that I am American and didn't understand a lot of the references, which are all English. I had to Google a lot of things, and ended up reading the story twice to get a clear idea of what was going on. I wanted to mention that, because it affected me as a reader, but was not a reflection of the writing itself. The story was a good read, and easy... I want to begin by noting that I am American and didn't understand a lot of the references, which are all English. I had to Google a lot of things, and ended up reading the story twice to get a clear idea of what was going on. I wanted to mention that, because it affected me as a reader, but was not a reflection of the writing itself.
  
  The story was a good read, and easy to understand. I did like the characters, so much so, that I wished there had been more character development. Naomi's hair is the only description given for any of the characters, so that the reader is left to create of their own images. This didn't bother me at all, except that you mentioned that description in the second time we meet her, so that it conflicted with the image the reader originally created of her.
  
  I gathered from the synopsis that the story would be about a 43-year old single man, and while it is in part, it is really about his relationship to football and how the people in his lives tie into that.
  
  Overall, I liked the story, and like the characters. There is detail in the story, but it is only about football, and not the characters themselves or even their relationships; this makes for an original story, but I would update the synopsis as such so that the reader isn't misled. read
• 
  SAVING THE DAY
  A review of Crisis
  by Tripsheet Revision on 02/15/2012
  It always works when writers tell stories about what they love. And only a true lover of the game could make losing a football club, even with all of the attending fallout, remotely interesting. But I’d already read ‘Devolution’ by the writer and knew, whatever the topic and slant, that I was in for a good read. And I was more than right; by the end of the story I was smiling,... It always works when writers tell stories about what they love. And only a true lover of the game could make losing a football club, even with all of the attending fallout, remotely interesting. But I’d already read ‘Devolution’ by the writer and knew, whatever the topic and slant, that I was in for a good read. And I was more than right; by the end of the story I was smiling, not at the plot of the story, not at the characters, and not at the solution, but simply at the pleasure of a terrific read. Don’t get me wrong -- the plot, characters, and solution are all top drawer here, and they all contributed their parts to making the whole. But, as with all really talented writers, this one steals the show again. Great work, solid story, every bit a winner! read
• 
  Enjoyable story
  A review of Crisis
  by **DELETED ACCOUNT** on 02/12/2012
  I really liked this story, even though I’m not a football person....AT ALL, I have to be honest, at first when I saw it was about football I almost stopped reading, but I’m glad I carried on, it’s a relatable story and well written. The time line jumps around a little bit, but it’s still a good story to read, and any loss of story is easily recovered in the next paragraph... I really liked this story, even though I’m not a football person....AT ALL, I have to be honest, at first when I saw it was about football I almost stopped reading, but I’m glad I carried on, it’s a relatable story and well written.
  The time line jumps around a little bit, but it’s still a good story to read, and any loss of story is easily recovered in the next paragraph.
  I would recommend this more to football fans than non-football fans, but overall still a good story. read
• 
  It's even good on this side of the pond
  A review of Crisis
  by harriet nyborg on 02/08/2012
  Ah. Just as a sidebar, I was starting to get a little concerned about the overall quality of the short stories here. They are very rarely linear, logical, told well and spell/grammar checked. Also, they tend to lack an overall sense of coherence. Not all of them, but very many of them. SO, you can imagine my delight when I read a page of yours and realized this obviously...
  Ah. Just as a sidebar, I was starting to get a little concerned about the overall quality of the short stories here. They are very rarely linear, logical, told well and spell/grammar checked. Also, they tend to lack an overall sense of coherence. Not all of them, but very many of them. SO, you can imagine my delight when I read a page of yours and realized this obviously wasn’t the case, here is someone taking themselves seriously, and I thank you for that.
  
  So this is a very charming story of lost love(s). And passion, right? Jamie doesn’t have any passion for anything tangible, just his club. He likes women, but only loves the pitch. Much like Naomi, he can’t love. But through sports, this club’s fortunes, they may just figure that out. Since these two have that one important thing in common, I would focus on that relationship and cut the other one you outlined briefly.
  
  I’m American, I’ll point out, just to say that even though you are essentially speaking greek to me when you talk about what I would call soccer, I understood everything well enough. So, for an outsider audience, I still didn’t lose you, which was good. To my advantage I have a friend who keeps me up to watch the Tots play every now and again. Other than that, all I know is Rooney.
  
  Jamie and his uncle were very likable. I totally buy into the devestation when the club was axed. It’s such a silly little thing, nobody played for them, but sports loyalty is A) all consuming and B) makes sense to anyone who likes a team, even though it may seem way out of left field for someone on the outside. You capture fandom really well. I like how Jamie, for example, has relationships that have fallen apart, people who have wronged him, but nothing illicits the very human reaction he has like his team abandoning him. Women come and go. His only REAL love is his club.
  
  And so when his uncle climbs up and threatens to jump, it’s all very plausible. Kind of comedic and sad at once.
  
  The echo of his responsibility, being in the 23, was a nice touch. Maybe expand on that.
  
  I really enjoyed this. My only suggestion would be to write another one so I can read it. read
• 
  Is there anything more important?!
  A review of Crisis
  by RobMSF on 02/08/2012
  What a great story, I've got a particular weak spot for this as I played in Fleming park leisure centre a few times when I was in my early 20's. It's a touching story about the great game that doesn't go too over the top and actually captures pretty acurately how important football and sports in general becomes to people. I could actually see a mini TV comedy series being... What a great story, I've got a particular weak spot for this as I played in Fleming park leisure centre a few times when I was in my early 20's.
  
  It's a touching story about the great game that doesn't go too over the top and actually captures pretty acurately how important football and sports in general becomes to people.
  
  I could actually see a mini TV comedy series being made out of a story and protagonist like this.
  
  Well written, well structured and vivid, a good short story. read