Reviews of Dogs Best Friend 27

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  Review: Dogs Best Friend.
  A review of Dogs Best Friend
  by writermorris on 06/18/2013
  I'm a sucker for a good dog story. And boy, was this good. I actually laughed out loud at the end, and trust me, I'm hard to make laugh. This was a proper short story, to the point with not a word wasted, As always in these stories the dog is the star. But you took me on a great ride. I loved the gag about him wishing that his wife suffered from the same lack of talking as... I'm a sucker for a good dog story. And boy, was this good. I actually laughed out loud at the end, and trust me, I'm hard to make laugh. This was a proper short story, to the point with not a word wasted, As always in these stories the dog is the star. But you took me on a great ride. I loved the gag about him wishing that his wife suffered from the same lack of talking as her sister! This should be a lesson to all those writers on Trigger Street who think you need a vampire or a gory shooting tale to make impact. This was great! read
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  Dogs Best Friend - A Review
  A review of Dogs Best Friend
  by Michael Leath on 04/25/2013
  I try very hard toi stay focused on my job of review. I read and critique, doing my best to see the page not as a story so much as an assignment to comment on. But then there are stories like this one that make me the reader and nothing more. Delightful story. Very clever. I see dialog is being deducted by some who have reviewed this before. I cannot understand why people... I try very hard toi stay focused on my job of review. I read and critique, doing my best to see the page not as a story so much as an assignment to comment on.
  
  But then there are stories like this one that make me the reader and nothing more.
  
  Delightful story. Very clever.
  
  I see dialog is being deducted by some who have reviewed this before. I cannot understand why people do not realize that in a narrative in first person, the narrator is using dialog.
  
  This was a truly great little tale that was satisfying. Thanks for the read. Don't change a word.
  ~
  M read
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  Not my cup of tea.
  A review of Dogs Best Friend
  by matt r jones on 01/20/2011
  Although the story moves along well I found it quite hard going. The pizza delivery after pizza delivery made me feel like I had read it before rather than make me laugh at it. I know that comedy is the hardest genre to write but I found this just missed me. I'm sure others will find it funny. The ending was the best bit as karma took it's shot. In my opinion it's okay but... Although the story moves along well I found it quite hard going. The pizza delivery after pizza delivery made me feel like I had read it before rather than make me laugh at it. I know that comedy is the hardest genre to write but I found this just missed me. I'm sure others will find it funny. The ending was the best bit as karma took it's shot.
  
  In my opinion it's okay but not great. read
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  Puppy Pizza
  A review of Dogs Best Friend
  by Cenydd Ros on 12/11/2010
  This is a very cute story and has much potential. I enjoyed it. You are missing a good many commas in this piece. I didn't come close to pointing them all out - in fact I think I listed only about 20% of them. You also go from past to present tense - which creates a very odd read. This story, being that it largely occurs in the past, should be conducted in past tense - at... This is a very cute story and has much potential. I enjoyed it.
  
  You are missing a good many commas in this piece. I didn't come close to pointing them all out - in fact I think I listed only about 20% of them.
  
  You also go from past to present tense - which creates a very odd read. This story, being that it largely occurs in the past, should be conducted in past tense - at least until you run up to present time. I get the feeling that this is a story being told to us in an informal manner, like a buddy talking to another buddy, like dialogue. That may be your intent, it seems to me that that is what you are doing here, but it does not really flow right, just yet.
  
  Some notes - hope these are of some use:
  P. 1 that we never ordered - we didn't (might work better)
  P. 2 I mean who would ever consider what happened to have actually taken place. - I mean, (I think a comma goes here)
  P. 2 Besides there is no way I am going to screw things up with that restaurant. - Besides, (and here, possibly)
  P. 2 After everyone finished and I mean all of us, I came - After everyone finished, and I mean all of us, I came (here, too) - many commas missing throughout. I don't feel qualified to list them all, as I might give you the wrong placings.
  P. 3 someone has cloned - had
  P. 3 phone is not - was
  P. 3 Where do I find it? - did (you bounce from present tense to past tense in this story. It should be one or the other, for the story is should be in past tense)
  P. 3 e.g. It was laying face up - you go back into past tense
  P. 3 e.g. I am going to tell her - back to present tense - I was going to
  P. 3 Maybe I have been - present tense again (you get the picture by now, I am sure - this may be something you are playing around with in terms of style, but as it sits it does not quite work)
  P. 4 I got her now I gloated. - I got her now, I gloated. (comma)
  P. 4 Why because it looked like a damn black box. - Why, because it looked like a damn black box. (I think that works with a comma, no promises)
  
  "My wife thought it was better than sliced bread but I looked at it as just another bitch spending my money." - maybe I'm chauvinist, but I thought that was funny.
  
  Overall, I think this story needs a good deal of work in how it is told and in grammar - that said, it is a cute and entertaining piece. This is the most important thing as a writer, but the mechanics of getting your story out clearly are just as important. I think the story is good enough to merit your time in reworking it. Good thing for you is, it's very short - so it makes a good piece to tinker with without being too burdensome.
  
  Thanks for sharing this. read
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  Review: Dogs Best Friend
  A review of Dogs Best Friend
  by hinge1492 on 09/22/2010
  I like the idea of a dog being smart enough to call and order food, or dial 911, on his own. However, I don't think the story ties all the parts of this story together satisfactorily. First, there is almost no dialogue in the story. The whole situation is told to us rather than shown. That removes the reader from the action and makes it move at a slower pace. I'd rather be... I like the idea of a dog being smart enough to call and order food, or dial 911, on his own. However, I don't think the story ties all the parts of this story together satisfactorily.
  
  First, there is almost no dialogue in the story. The whole situation is told to us rather than shown. That removes the reader from the action and makes it move at a slower pace. I'd rather be in the moment and see what's happening.
  
  Second, the prose is awkward. There are many clunky sentences, and also some tense shifts that, though I understand what you're trying to do, are nevertheless distracting.
  
  The reason the narrator hates his wife is never well fleshed-out. Other than him saying she never gives him good food, we have no reason to sympathize or disagree with him. He just hates his wife, with no justification or reflection.
  
  And why he would keep a dog he hated, one that he seems unable to figure out or accurately deal with, after he splits from a wife who wanted the dog in the first place is beyond me.
  
  Again, the initial idea is interesting, and I like your conclusion with the narrator having to depend on the dog. But I think the execution is flawed. Put us in the moment, show us rather than tell us, and flesh out the characters and situations to make them more believable. read
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  DOG DAYS
  A review of Dogs Best Friend
  by gclifton on 04/13/2010
  A catchy concept with the dog smarter than most people who order pizza. It is abundantly clear the protag has no use for his wife/ex-wife. Like confucious always said "Man who lets dog order dinner, eats hardly" That the writer worked in the bit where the wife's sister couldn't speak was clever. But a dog who orders sweet and sour chicken is not to be trusted On balance,... A catchy concept with the dog smarter than most people who order pizza. It is abundantly clear the protag has no use for his wife/ex-wife. Like confucious always said "Man who lets dog order dinner, eats hardly"
  
  That the writer worked in the bit where the wife's sister couldn't speak was clever. But a dog who orders sweet and sour chicken is not to be trusted
  
  On balance, this is an easy, harmless read with no sharp edges. An dog gone it, people just have to like it. read
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  Funny little story
  A review of Dogs Best Friend
  by Charlie_Is_Lost on 03/13/2010
  This was the first time a story on here actually made me laugh out loud. Kudos to you for that. At first I was expecting a talking dog, but I was glad that you didn't go down that route. Great ending that tied everything together nicely. I don't really have anything to say for you to improve upon, but maybe try to touch up on your dialogue a bit. I thought overall your... This was the first time a story on here actually made me laugh out loud. Kudos to you for that.
  
  At first I was expecting a talking dog, but I was glad that you didn't go down that route.
  
  Great ending that tied everything together nicely.
  
  I don't really have anything to say for you to improve upon, but maybe try to touch up on your dialogue a bit. I thought overall your story was laid out well, I laughed twice within the 4 pages, which is rare for me because I'm not a big comedy fan.
  
  Keep up the good work. This was avery clever story. I hope to see more from you. read
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  Shoulda' kicked the damn thing!
  A review of Dogs Best Friend
  by N10city on 02/09/2010
  I liked this cute, little story. Quite a few typos. i.e. Why it's a damn black box. Should be Why? It's a damn black box. I do feel that you needed to try and draw us a little more deeper into why he did not like his wife. Truthfully, the narrator had the sound of a kid. That's not an insult, it just shows that you have not quite found your authentic voice as an author... I liked this cute, little story. Quite a few typos. i.e. Why it's a damn black box. Should be Why? It's a damn black box. I do feel that you needed to try and draw us a little more deeper into why he did not like his wife. Truthfully, the narrator had the sound of a kid. That's not an insult, it just shows that you have not quite found your authentic voice as an author. I look forward to reading more of your work. Your macabre sense of style and humor is unique and refreshing. read
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  THE PIZZA GUY'S BEST FRIEND
  A review of Dogs Best Friend
  by **DELETED ACCOUNT** on 12/31/2009
  Slice of life story, here, about Fido running the short con on his owners. I liked it, thought it was funny, and hope with the rewrite it might be expanded to six or eight pages. I'd like to see the characters and scenes referred to in a bit more detail. You can write, so why not write on this one a bit more. It's truly funny, imaginative, and clever. Maybe even include... Slice of life story, here, about Fido running the short con on his owners. I liked it, thought it was funny, and hope with the rewrite it might be expanded to six or eight pages. I'd like to see the characters and scenes referred to in a bit more detail. You can write, so why not write on this one a bit more. It's truly funny, imaginative, and clever. Maybe even include the dog's thoughts and schemes by giving Fido a voice. Tell us what's wrong with the sister's voice, for instance, so that the dog comes across as even more clever. Describe your people, places, and things with more detail. That kind of fleshing out will make the story more enjoyable for the readers and be appreciated. Thanks for posting this so we could read it. read
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  Smart Pooch
  A review of Dogs Best Friend
  by mnjones on 12/19/2009
  Maybe it would work better if the dog told it. The way it is, it doesn't work for me. The guy comes off as a mean, selfish SOB. He dumps his wife, moves her stuff from the house while she lies in the hospital. He gets what he deserves, Toby smirking at him while he lies, as his wife did, at the foot of the stairs. Well, yes, that is funny; but the build up to that all too... Maybe it would work better if the dog told it. The way it is, it doesn't work for me. The guy comes off as a mean, selfish SOB. He dumps his wife, moves her stuff from the house while she lies in the hospital. He gets what he deserves, Toby smirking at him while he lies, as his wife did, at the foot of the stairs. Well, yes, that is funny; but the build up to that all too obvious payoff, in my opinion, is a comedy without laughs. I'd try it from Toby's point of view read