Reviews of Fantasies 16

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  A fantastic, flirtatious, finicky f'ed-up fantasy, my fine fiendish friend.
  A review of Fantasies
  by nick74 on 05/06/2012
  Howdy, mate! What a spiraling ride of temptation, lust and desire you've etched out in these eight short pages! Very fun --- full of tension. This story reminds me of a line I heard in a movie called "The Hi-Lo Country" once: "She was all warm pressure wrapped in perfume..." or something like that. First, I really like your use of the 1st person narrative. Not only that,... Howdy, mate!
  
  What a spiraling ride of temptation, lust and desire you've etched out in these eight short pages! Very fun --- full of tension. This story reminds me of a line I heard in a movie called "The Hi-Lo Country" once: "She was all warm pressure wrapped in perfume..." or something like that.
  
  First, I really like your use of the 1st person narrative. Not only that, you used a present tense, as if your narrator was narrating the story AS it unfolds. It almost put me in the position of a superspy sitting outside in the recon van listening to the scene unfold inside the bar over a radio headset. It offered the greatest little literary moments like:
  
  "I lose sight of her..."
  
  The bit about kneading away on her ass cheeks...
  
  And the chapter of one-liners.
  
  Very creative stuff.
  
  It all becomes clear, too, about the perfume she wears, the brushing of the arse, the yearning for her, etc, when we discover it's his wife allowing him his fantasy, twisted as it is, which makes Fantasies a retrospective story --- one to read again with the perspective of its ending to catch all the little nuances in the prose.
  
  Your description of the woman was rousing (if not arousing) and the profile image you used for the story is a spot on match (that chick is hot, to boot.) I was thrown right into the scene trying to look past Dave as he rambled on incessantly, a truthful bit of character-building.
  
  Again, you've crafted a story I'm a little hard-pressed to criticize. I like the flow, the dialog, the atmosphere, everything. I must say I was the slightest bit deflated at the end of the story when "ape-man" appeared in the room and - uh, pinioned - our boy to the bed, but, as themes go it created a full-circuit. In short, this story says --- let's not play around with intimacy and love because it might put you in places you're not fully tuned to go --- a theme that aligns this story nicely with another movie full of taboos, Eyes Wide Shut. If you've never seen that one, you might like it after having written Fantasies. And though I compare your story to others, fear not. Fantasies has a unique voice all its own and is a strong entry in your body of work.
  
  Cheerio, bud.
  
  read
• 
  A well written fantasy
  A review of Fantasies
  by Michael Caleb Tasker on 04/04/2012
  A little on the trendy side for my liking, part of the quirky, tragically hip genre where cool words are valued over a good story. That said, for a quirky story it is very, very well written, the dialogue is sharp and realistic and of course, clever and quirky. I like the pretty girl on the "cover", always been a fan of petite brunettes... but not much a fan of profanity when... A little on the trendy side for my liking, part of the quirky, tragically hip genre where cool words are valued over a good story. That said, for a quirky story it is very, very well written, the dialogue is sharp and realistic and of course, clever and quirky. I like the pretty girl on the "cover", always been a fan of petite brunettes... but not much a fan of profanity when it seems forced or unnatural, there for shock value, to show that one is hip. Sometimes the story seems like "an endless barrage of words" but very well-chosen words. I keep coming back to this being well written but it all rings a little hollow for me. read
• 
  Fantastic Fantasies
  A review of Fantasies
  by MaxWatt on 04/04/2012
  Hey Mike. I feel very guilty about reviewing this one, as there's nothing I want to say. Personally, I think it's brilliant as it is. You build the characters very well with the dialogue, I found Dave very familiar, while Andy is a character who the reader will associate with themselves both in the sense of his social life in the pub and with his private fantasies which are... Hey Mike. I feel very guilty about reviewing this one, as there's nothing I want to say. Personally, I think it's brilliant as it is. You build the characters very well with the dialogue, I found Dave very familiar, while Andy is a character who the reader will associate with themselves both in the sense of his social life in the pub and with his private fantasies which are unveiled to be playing out in front of him.
  
  Another thing I really liked was the concise style. It almost creates a thriller-like atmosphere. In fact, I found the entire premise to be quite unique.
  
  Well, if I'm going to be a scumbag and review something for which I have no desire to change, I may as well make myself somewhat useful (or try to be) and nitpick the minor issues which aren't even issues at all.
  
  Page 4 - "The ape re-enters the bar knuckles scraping the floor." - Comma after "bar"?
  
  Page 4 - "He makes a sound like an animalistic grunt on sighting her," - could be faster. Perhaps cut out the "sound" part?
  
  But seriously, this was a thrilling read. If this doesn't get published then I'm gonna pack this in and become a plumber or something.
  
  Good job with "Hello!" too! read
• 
  A Tease and a Double Twist
  A review of Fantasies
  by karlasbryant on 04/01/2012
  Really fun, fresh read! The story opened with a slow burn that kept building suspense and curiosity about what was going on...what was going to happen next, and what would it all lead to? I didn't see either twist coming until they were revealed, which is the only way a twist is satisfying. Great set-ups to both reveals. Nice use of the dull, talkative friend as a device... Really fun, fresh read! The story opened with a slow burn that kept building suspense and curiosity about what was going on...what was going to happen next, and what would it all lead to?
  
  I didn't see either twist coming until they were revealed, which is the only way a twist is satisfying. Great set-ups to both reveals. Nice use of the dull, talkative friend as a device that can only periodically distract the narrator from his focus.
  
  Smart, provocative, and unexpected. read
• 
  A great read
  A review of Fantasies
  by Victoria-Lynne on 04/01/2012
  This story was great. A lot of the stories on here are great but lack realism. NOT this one. The realism in this was great; I can really imagine this sort of thing happening in my local pub. The way it was described as not full but not empty as well as the type of people and their activities was so real and really brought the story down to earth. The story got explicit but... This story was great. A lot of the stories on here are great but lack realism. NOT this one.
  
  The realism in this was great; I can really imagine this sort of thing happening in my local pub. The way it was described as not full but not empty as well as the type of people and their activities was so real and really brought the story down to earth.
  
  The story got explicit but not smutty explicit which is a refreshing change.
  The story was well written and a great read, I thoroughly recommend it to others. read
• 
  Slightly scary!
  A review of Fantasies
  by vieira4 on 03/29/2012
  Hi. I knew you'd be a good writer because I noticed one of your other stories had five stars! Never seen that before. Anyway, this story certainly makes one think twice about agreeing to act out one's fantasies. I love how you build the tension as if a man is looking at a stranger, drooling over a random attractive woman, possibly being unfaithful to his wife. Next, you find... Hi. I knew you'd be a good writer because I noticed one of your other stories had five stars! Never seen that before. Anyway, this story certainly makes one think twice about agreeing to act out one's fantasies. I love how you build the tension as if a man is looking at a stranger, drooling over a random attractive woman, possibly being unfaithful to his wife. Next, you find out that she IS his wife... then, the twist! Very good writing. I think she's a bit sadistic, making her husband get violated when she must know that he's hot for sex with her. She could have waited... Anyway, great story. Good characters. Your Dave is very like my friend Dave, whose conversational party trick is suddenly referring to something we were talking about an hour ago, without introduction. I've got used to it, but you can imagine how mad it sounds to the outsider. read
• 
  Good short Mr. Wolfson!!!
  A review of Fantasies
  by Steven24 on 01/18/2012
  I must say that I'm very picky when it comes to reading other people work(s) but the title alone caught my attention. Mike has written a story that could easily grow into a full length novel because the concept is different and it left me wanting to read more. I will definitely read more work from Mike and hope that Fantasies will be turned into a full novel. Good luck and... I must say that I'm very picky when it comes to reading other people work(s) but the title alone caught my attention. Mike has written a story that could easily grow into a full length novel because the concept is different and it left me wanting to read more. I will definitely read more work from Mike and hope that Fantasies will be turned into a full novel. Good luck and keep working hard, because you have a lot of talent.
  
  SM read
• 
  Watch your back
  A review of Fantasies
  by bigheadx on 01/16/2012
  Thanks for the opportunity to read this brief and interesting short story. The writing is terse but colorful, like a light show of words as you set the reader up for the funny/shocking twist at the end of what is a fairly "stock" concept. Congratulations on a nicely executed adult fantasy tale. This reader has offered some suggestions/corrections below. ================================... Thanks for the opportunity to read this brief and interesting short story. The writing is terse but colorful, like a light show of words as you set the reader up for the funny/shocking twist at the end of what is a fairly "stock" concept. Congratulations on a nicely executed adult fantasy tale.
  This reader has offered some suggestions/corrections below.
  
  ================================
  I catch only fragments of my friend’s conversation - no new paragraph here
  
  but I watch her mouth move - but I watch her lips move
  
  They are rapt in one another. - awkward; know what you intend, but unclear
  
  Sure you ok? - Sure you're ok?
  
  The reply isn’t instant, but at least she smiles. She says, “do I know you?” - The reply isn’t instant, but at least she smiles. She says, “Do I know you?”
  
  She lets me down gently, "not tonight, Andy. Not tonight." - She lets me down gently, "Not tonight, Andy. Not tonight."
  
  The ape re-enters the bar knuckles scraping the floor - The ape re-enters the bar, knuckles scraping the floor
  
  The bounce at her chest denies any suggestion of a bra. - The bounce of her chest denies any suggestion of a bra.
  
  “Did I do good?” Says the auburn haired desire. - “Did I do good?” says the auburn haired desire. [your spell-checker is your enemy here, I think]
  
  “I want to fuck,” it’s the only thing I can say. - “I want to fuck,” is the only thing I can say. read
• 
  Well written and engaging
  A review of Fantasies
  by nlachmund on 01/13/2012
  Fantasies has a very engaging narrative. It jumps between subjects quickly and gives a real insight into the way the mind works. Concentration in the pub seems difficult and that is captured well. The description of the woman gives the reader a clear image. It's easy to relate to the protagonist when he is trying to engage in his friend's endless droning. To have twists and... Fantasies has a very engaging narrative. It jumps between subjects quickly and gives a real insight into the way the mind works. Concentration in the pub seems difficult and that is captured well. The description of the woman gives the reader a clear image. It's easy to relate to the protagonist when he is trying to engage in his friend's endless droning. To have twists and turns in such a short story is also worth noting.
  
  Overall I'd reccomend this story and say that for its length, it is well above average. read
• 
  PUTTING THE "K" IN KINK
  A review of Fantasies
  by Tripsheet Revision on 01/11/2012
  Once I saw Fantasies was only 8 pages, I decided my drive could wait. And I'm glad I did. This tale of Jolly Bold England combines desire, daring, deception and brutality. The end product was several good snickers, one or two groans, and a monster laugh at the end. They both got what they wanted, only next time I think he'll want to up the ante. This time was greatly one-sided... Once I saw Fantasies was only 8 pages, I decided my drive could wait. And I'm glad I did. This tale of Jolly Bold England combines desire, daring, deception and brutality. The end product was several good snickers, one or two groans, and a monster laugh at the end. They both got what they wanted, only next time I think he'll want to up the ante. This time was greatly one-sided. Your writing romps through the pages, never weighting us down with detail, always making the reader keep leaning forward toward mounting expectation. You turn a phrase with the best of them; in this case, I was completely fooled, never expecting the tart to be waiting at home, and certainly not suspecting she's brought King Kong home for a twisted tryst with hubby. Very funny stuff. Glad I got to read it. read