Reviews of Gang-hwa Island 4

• 
  Good concept
  A review of Gang-hwa Island
  by KSisk90 on 03/23/2012
  As for formatting your title page looks a little strange having a whole page, but just a small size 12 font being used. You need to put your page number in the header. On the final page you started indenting really far into the page, it isn't the same that you used in the previous pages. The opening lines were good, really grabbed my attention making me want to read more... As for formatting your title page looks a little strange having a whole page, but just a small size 12 font being used. You need to put your page number in the header. On the final page you started indenting really far into the page, it isn't the same that you used in the previous pages.
  
  The opening lines were good, really grabbed my attention making me want to read more.
  
  The concept stood out, I think you could have a good piece her, but just need to work a bit on character / dialogue and structure.
  
  Thanks for the read. read
• 
  History Comes to Life
  A review of Gang-hwa Island
  by mmckean on 11/25/2011
  Hi yongary01! I like the concept of this story. The idea of actually experiencing history is very interesting. The story's "history lesson" is kind of boring however. I think this is just because I was never a fan of history. Perhaps you could focus more on the scene actually coming to life and her being chased by it than on the actual history part. Also, I like to put thoughts... Hi yongary01!
  
  I like the concept of this story. The idea of actually experiencing history is very interesting. The story's "history lesson" is kind of boring however. I think this is just because I was never a fan of history. Perhaps you could focus more on the scene actually coming to life and her being chased by it than on the actual history part. Also, I like to put thoughts in italic so it's easy to tell they are different than dialogue. I think making this change could make your story more effective.
  
  Interesting concept. Keep working on it. read
• 
  An Island of Tormented Memories
  A review of Gang-hwa Island
  by SappleScoot on 09/08/2011
  I like the informal, conversational tone of the story. The writer uses clear comparisons and contrasts to define and color-in the setting. I got to know Katie fairly well, but not so much with Gyu-Jin. Most of the story is background and characterization, so when the final action occurs, I felt as if it came out of nowhere. A little foreshadowing, or a hint of something supernatural... I like the informal, conversational tone of the story. The writer uses clear comparisons and contrasts to define and color-in the setting. I got to know Katie fairly well, but not so much with Gyu-Jin. Most of the story is background and characterization, so when the final action occurs, I felt as if it came out of nowhere. A little foreshadowing, or a hint of something supernatural would build suspense and give the reader something to wonder about.
  
  I enjoy stories like this, where a person or event from the past sneaks into the present to wreak havoc.
  
  Some observations:
  
  “She really envied a “Hello Kitty” bra, but being Mormon, pretended she didn’t wear a bra.” - I don't understand the correlation between “envied” and “pretended”.
  
  “And no, Korea, “Hotel California” is not country.” - I felt that the audience changed here, from general reader to “Korea”, that the writer addressed Korea directly, instead of the general 'you'.
  
  “Gang-hwa Island. The countryside kind of resembeled the furthest reaches rural Box Elder County. Portage. Corinne. Some other farming community.” -for readers (like me) not familiar with (I'm guessing)Utah geography, this is just a tad on the unclear side of things. Perhaps if you just add, “in Utah” after “Some other farming community” -- might help the flow a bit.
  
  “A head of her stood a tanned man...” - should be “Ahead”
  
  Very nice story - I think it's just waiting to be a GREAT story! read
• 
  Wow. Did anyone see that elephant fly by ?
  A review of Gang-hwa Island
  by MagnoliaMoon on 09/06/2011
  A lot of action is packed into the four pages of this short story. The writer, clearly familiar with South Korea and its history and for good reason, no doubt, gets straight to the point in his story of a "clueless" Korean/American girl's unfortunate trip to Gang-hwa Island. It is clear that this writer has talent and wastes no time on descriptive fluff to fill in the gaps... A lot of action is packed into the four pages of this short story. The writer, clearly familiar with South Korea and its history and for good reason, no doubt, gets straight to the point in his story of a "clueless" Korean/American girl's unfortunate trip to Gang-hwa Island. It is clear that this writer has talent and wastes no time on descriptive fluff to fill in the gaps of his story. What is missing, I think, IS a little descriptive fluff. The story is stark, inhumane in a certain way.
  
  It is not sufficient to draw a straight line between two points when the characters are thinly drawn. The story moves with lightening speed, and in the process, may leave the reader perplexed and, like the young woman in this story, dead(ened) in the end.
  
  I'd suggest that the author use these four pages as a skeleton of the story he can obviously write with distinction. Give us the flesh on these bones. read