Reviews of Hello! 11

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  This Works
  A review of Hello!
  by **DELETED ACCOUNT** on 07/25/2012
  Alright, everything in this worked for me. It came off like a really easily hurt child and of course a stalker later. The talking to the reader directly was a really nice touch. I'm sure this has been done before, but this is the first time I've seen it. Even the different ways of saying hello worked for me...even if it's just spelling out textbook good writing. Were it... Alright, everything in this worked for me.
  
  It came off like a really easily hurt child and of course a stalker later. The talking to the reader directly was a really nice touch. I'm sure this has been done before, but this is the first time I've seen it.
  
  Even the different ways of saying hello worked for me...even if it's just spelling out textbook good writing.
  
  Were it not for the twist were the so called author reveals his relationship disappointments, it would have come off as very needy, just another Triggerite needful of good reviews. :D
  
  Cheers. read
• 
  Hello this story was awesome!!
  A review of Hello!
  by GreeneStreet on 07/05/2012
  Wow I haven't been on this site too long but that was the most original thing I've seen yet. So even when I enjoy a story this much I feel that it is important to give the writer some sort of constructive criticism or feedback on what it was missing, but honestly I don't think this story needs to change in anyway. I thought the language was great, I thought the delivery was... Wow I haven't been on this site too long but that was the most original thing I've seen yet. So even when I enjoy a story this much I feel that it is important to give the writer some sort of constructive criticism or feedback on what it was missing, but honestly I don't think this story needs to change in anyway. I thought the language was great, I thought the delivery was great, and the concept was phenomenal. I know it was short but it was a great read and I really feel the author got his point across in a perfect amount of space. Good job and super creative. I am definitely going to check out more of the writers stuff. read
• 
  ???
  A review of Hello!
  by Shapuhi on 05/06/2012
  I'm not quite sure what to say about this story. It is definitely unique. It is well written and flows well. The subject matter is pretty creepy, I feel like I'm being stalked as I read it. Of course that is probably the point and it is well made. I liked this story and it reminds me of something I wrote a long time ago. The two stories are very different but both have that... I'm not quite sure what to say about this story. It is definitely unique. It is well written and flows well. The subject matter is pretty creepy, I feel like I'm being stalked as I read it. Of course that is probably the point and it is well made. I liked this story and it reminds me of something I wrote a long time ago. The two stories are very different but both have that 'monologue' vibe to them. Your story is definitely better than the one I wrote though. Well done. read
• 
  Scary Good
  A review of Hello!
  by Victoria-Lynne on 04/05/2012
  This story was scarily good. Simplicity really works in your favour! It’s very well written which is a huge achievement given that the story is only 4 pages long. At first I thought that it was a child playing a game but then the story became a lot more sinister. I thought it was really clever how it played on an everyday occurrence. It creates an uneasy feeling for the reader... This story was scarily good. Simplicity really works in your favour!
  It’s very well written which is a huge achievement given that the story is only 4 pages long.
  
  At first I thought that it was a child playing a game but then the story became a lot more sinister.
  I thought it was really clever how it played on an everyday occurrence. It creates an uneasy feeling for the reader about all the strangers out there! Bravo! read
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  Hello stranger!
  A review of Hello!
  by f-ceska on 04/01/2012
  Well! This was short and sweet! Well, maybe not sweet, but it was good to read. It was sinister and evocative and chilling, just enough, not too much. And you’ve written it so that any reader can relate to the victim, and the writer could be any person on the street. Clever. I hope I don’t have nightmares tonight! How can it be improved? I’m not sure. A part of me wants to... Well! This was short and sweet! Well, maybe not sweet, but it was good to read. It was sinister and evocative and chilling, just enough, not too much. And you’ve written it so that any reader can relate to the victim, and the writer could be any person on the street. Clever. I hope I don’t have nightmares tonight! How can it be improved? I’m not sure. A part of me wants to know more: more about the speaker; more about the victim, but that would kill its power. I think it's fine as it is. read
• 
  cool concept
  A review of Hello!
  by lrees on 03/30/2012
  Very creepy and deconstructive. I wish it was longer, give us more of a glimpse into this character, even though it seems like you want him to be sort of distant and ominous. But I think you have a cool concept that can go far, so play with it more. The tone is excellent. You just a imagine a huge creepy smile on this narrator's face. Maybe you could have him ask some more... Very creepy and deconstructive. I wish it was longer, give us more of a glimpse into this character, even though it seems like you want him to be sort of distant and ominous. But I think you have a cool concept that can go far, so play with it more. The tone is excellent. You just a imagine a huge creepy smile on this narrator's face. Maybe you could have him ask some more intimate questions, to really get into our psyche so you can play with our emotions more. In general I just think you should expand every segment of this. read
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  A Clever, Innovative Short-Story
  A review of Hello!
  by MiKol on 03/28/2012
  A brilliantly composed short story, and a very innovative style of composition and dialogue. Mike Wolfson indeed did a great job. The dialogue is centered on the reader; literally talking to the reader. The protagonist give you a little chill right from the moment he greets you, and that chill becomes more intense when the protagonist mentions that he's been watching you... A brilliantly composed short story, and a very innovative style of composition and dialogue. Mike Wolfson indeed did a great job.
  
  The dialogue is centered on the reader; literally talking to the reader. The protagonist give you a little chill right from the moment he greets you, and that chill becomes more intense when the protagonist mentions that he's been watching you. It introduces the sense of horror.
  
  Your suspicion grows as the protagonist becomes more and more 'friendly' with you, mentioning his past friends as he goes on. He begins to annoy you, not deliberately, but as he did with his past friends; accidentally.
  
  As he continues to annoy you, you begin to feel scared, as he reveals even more about his past and mentions things that not only annoy you, but disturb you. The conversation ends with the words 'The End', which gives a brief picture of what the story is about, rather than only being an overall suffix to the conclusion.
  
  A story which may be read over and over again, not ever getting boring, just making more sense. Five stars.
  
  Review by MiKol. read
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  Hello, that's creepy.
  A review of Hello!
  by blue4indie on 01/02/2012
  I loved this little bit of writing. It's a challenge to create a short story in 4 pages, but it was done here. In a world of frequent and informal texts, emails and facebook, a "letter" such as this would be terrifying to find. I would've liked to found this in a magazine or newspaper. OR, better yet, spin off into a novel. I imagine this piece in the leaflet. Creepy, clever... I loved this little bit of writing. It's a challenge to create a short story in 4 pages, but it was done here. In a world of frequent and informal texts, emails and facebook, a "letter" such as this would be terrifying to find. I would've liked to found this in a magazine or newspaper. OR, better yet, spin off into a novel. I imagine this piece in the leaflet. Creepy, clever and fun. Nice work! read
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  Review: Hello!
  A review of Hello!
  by jcordelia on 01/02/2012
  Well, this is a really great story! It's so eerie and sad and lovely. I don't really have much to say in the way of improvements, you've done a great job already. I think the premise of this is very unique and you did a great job carrying it out to the finish. I like the way you get the reader's participation going. The story has no limit on how hard it hits people, people... Well, this is a really great story! It's so eerie and sad and lovely. I don't really have much to say in the way of improvements, you've done a great job already. I think the premise of this is very unique and you did a great job carrying it out to the finish. I like the way you get the reader's participation going. The story has no limit on how hard it hits people, people will read this in different walks of life and it'll always take a different tone for each of them. read
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  Whoa!
  A review of Hello!
  by MagnoliaMoon on 12/31/2011
  Review of “Hello!”, by MagnoliaMoon Written by M. J. Wolfson Tonight is New Year’s Eve. I am not out having a party, and not having one here. What I just read is New Year’s celebration aplenty. Space and time were warped and I am dizzy from the brief ride. “Hello!” is a unique and uncommonly good four-page read. The writer possesses an exceptional style and pitch-perfect... Review of “Hello!”, by MagnoliaMoon
  Written by M. J. Wolfson
  
  Tonight is New Year’s Eve. I am not out having a party, and not having one here. What I just read is New Year’s celebration aplenty. Space and time were warped and I am dizzy from the brief ride.
  
  “Hello!” is a unique and uncommonly good four-page read. The writer possesses an exceptional style and pitch-perfect voice. (Did I mention that “Hello!” is in a league of its own?)
  
  I will not call “Hello!” a short story, even though it fits the four corners of the genre’, technically. The work is innovative, striking and solid. If there are typos in “Hello!”, I do not care. The narrative flew in my face and held me there until it ended.
  
  I have no comments other than those above, because I am still hanging onto the voice that greeted me in “Hello!” read