+ more submissions by chessaol

Reviews of Hog Butchering at home II 20

• 
  BABE, NOW I’M VEGETARIAN.
  A review of Hog Butchering at home II
  by montana malone on 04/19/2012
  What a delightfully, odd piece that felt much more like a “How To” book or pamphlet rather than a short story. While there were, without doubt, moments of a unique voice of the writer, overall I was left unmoved. Might this have something to do with the fact that I would never, unless forced by a mean son-of-a-bitch pressing a rifle to my head, consider killing and skinning... What a delightfully, odd piece that felt much more like a “How To” book or pamphlet rather than a short story. While there were, without doubt, moments of a unique voice of the writer, overall I was left unmoved. Might this have something to do with the fact that I would never, unless forced by a mean son-of-a-bitch pressing a rifle to my head, consider killing and skinning a hog. There is no question that you have a way with words and the history within your world. Have you ever considered telling this as more of a story? How old, where were you and who first taught you to kill a hog? How did you feel? Did you cry? Protest? Or simply, took it “like a man?” What did that place look like? Or smell like? Was your first hog your pet? I would love to read it if you ever chose to approach it from what it felt like for you. I have complete respect for your writing and hope that there is some “slab” of input that is of use to you. Best, Montana read
• 
  Review of: Hog Butchering at Home II
  A review of Hog Butchering at home II
  by mmckean on 01/28/2012
  Hello Chessaol: Thanks for submitting your short story on Trigger Street. "Hog Butchering at home II" is just that...hog butchering at home. Told in a "cookbook" fashion, this short (nonfiction?) piece is a step by step manual explaining the process of butchering hogs and other animals. CONCEPT: AVERAGE. This story would certainly appeal to some, but I have read many just... Hello Chessaol:
  
  Thanks for submitting your short story on Trigger Street. "Hog Butchering at home II" is just that...hog butchering at home. Told in a "cookbook" fashion, this short (nonfiction?) piece is a step by step manual explaining the process of butchering hogs and other animals.
  
  CONCEPT: AVERAGE. This story would certainly appeal to some, but I have read many just like it that explain a very similar process.
  
  CHRACTERS: AVERAGE. Every once in a while you tell a witty joke, which reveals a little about the main character but I just don't feel like it is enough.
  
  DIALOGUE: BELOW AVERAGE. I don't recall seeing any dialogue in the story.
  
  STORY: AVERAGE. This is more of a "how-to" instruction manual than a short story.
  
  STRUCTURE: GOOD. The entire piece was an easy read. Good job!
  
  OVERALL: AVERAGE. I admire you writing a piece like this. I know from experience that writing instructions like these are NOT easy. And you pull it off quite nicely. I just don't see anything that really sets this piece apart from the dozens of others I've read which describes a similar process.
  
  I can tell you are a very good writer though. Keep it up. :) read
• 
  talks the talk but can't walk the walk
  A review of Hog Butchering at home II
  by ComicsGn on 02/10/2009
  RE: Don’t do like a friend of mine did. His son had raised the hog and he wanted him to have the honor of the kill. He walked up to the pet hog, aimed carefully, straight down, between his eyes. The tame hog stood quietly and gazed up at the boy. The boy squeezed off the shot and only bloodied the poor hogs nose. How did the blood trickle down? Did the hog have mud on it's... RE: Don’t do like a friend of mine did. His son had raised the hog and he wanted him to have the honor of the kill. He walked up to the pet hog, aimed carefully, straight down, between his eyes. The tame hog stood quietly and gazed
  up at the boy. The boy squeezed off the shot and only bloodied the poor hogs nose.
  
  How did the blood trickle down? Did the hog have mud on it's nose? How big was it? What was the look in the eye when the hog looked at the boy? Did the boy feel any emotion? How did he react? Why did the boy shoot the hog in the nose? Did he really want to kill it? Was there any gunpowder? WHAT DID IT SMELL LIKE??
  
  Not helpful is it? Keep that in mind.
  read
• 
  informative
  A review of Hog Butchering at home II
  by Proxy on 01/24/2009
  Butchering Hogs at home (revised) by Al Thompson is a guide that explains two ways of butchering a big. Although I found this work quite informative and applaud the writer for sharing his interests, I feel this instruction manual would likely be more successful on a forum dedicated to sharing interests and do-it-your-self projects. On the other hand, a story reminiscing over... Butchering Hogs at home (revised) by Al Thompson is a guide that explains two ways of butchering a big. Although I found this work quite informative and applaud the writer for sharing his interests, I feel this instruction manual would likely be more successful on a forum dedicated to sharing interests and do-it-your-self projects. On the other hand, a story reminiscing over the narrator’s past and present experiences could be formulated around the subject matter; this would probably attract more interest and readers. Furthermore, the writing needs a good amount of work. A paragraph must be a collection of sentences focused on a single topic, event, instruction, character’s action, speaker’s dialog, or description to help the reader clearly understand and visualize what the writer is thinking. Meanwhile, the greatest shortcoming for this piece is redundancy that hurts the readability of the piece. The writing needs to be dynamic to hold the reader’s attention; this is accomplished by varying wording, phrasing ideas differently, and avoiding redundancy in each sentence and paragraph. For example, the sentences employ an “and this and that” format far too often. Meanwhile, employing phrases like “We work together good….” adds to the tone of the work by demonstrating an authentic narrator from the South, a certain socioeconomic class, and education level; however, greater usage of proper grammatical rules will add to the quality of the work and help the writer communicate with the reader. Overall, I think the writer has a good topic for a quality short story and, should the writer keep this story as a guidebook, improvements in the writing will greatly improve its quality as well. read
• 
  Hogs at Home
  A review of Hog Butchering at home II
  by Neemis on 01/13/2009
  Perhaps it is me but is this really a short story? It just reads on how to butcher at home. Some of the descriptions got my toes curling but it did sound as if the writer knewwhat they were doing. There was some good writing but I don't really think it is short story and more of a 'How to' book and there could well be a market for this type of work. Good luck with it... Perhaps it is me but is this really a short story? It just reads on how to butcher at home. Some of the descriptions got my toes curling but it did sound as if the writer knewwhat they were doing. There was some good writing but I don't really think it is short story and more of a 'How to' book and there could well be a market for this type of work.
  
  Good luck with it. read
• 
  Hot Butchering Review
  A review of Hog Butchering at home II
  by kkatherine on 01/12/2009
  Hog Butchering at Home II is a very unique short. Its subject matter was approached in such an engaging manner that even this vegetarian wannabe was compelled to read the entire piece. There are minor problems that I will outline here only so that you can get rid of them and possibly get your piece published. Some work needs to be done on your sentence structures. There are... Hog Butchering at Home II is a very unique short. Its subject matter was approached in such an engaging manner that even this vegetarian wannabe was compelled to read the entire piece.
  
  There are minor problems that I will outline here only so that you can get rid of them and possibly get your piece published.
  
  Some work needs to be done on your sentence structures. There are multiple cases of incorrect punctuation and capitalization.
  
  Example (...kindling, Liter... is the problem):
  
  "If you use some form of kindling, Liter of pine leaves a turpentine flavor and gasoline or bar-b-q lighter fluids leave their distinctive and unpleasant
  flavors."
  
  I saw at least one heading (Gutting and Cutting) that was totally separated from the paragraph.
  
  On page 9 there is a mismatch parenthesis. Also I think the parenthetical statement should be capitalized or in front of the period if not. There's another case on page 11 (the last one on page 11 appears to be correct, so look right above it). In any case, review all your parenthetical statements for accuracy. I've seen you use them in multiple different ways.
  
  This was a very casual writing style, as if it was a copy of a dictation. But, it was okay because it made it easier to read. Is it formal enough for a publisher? I do think the author's writing style and the subject matter went hand in hand. So it works for me, except for the grammatical errors. In fact, I enjoyed it.
  
  Other than the annoying little errors, for some reason that baffles my mind, I found this little story to be extremely engaging. Good luck with it.
  
  By the way, did you have to shower after doing the deed and before sitting on your furniture or touching anything in the house? Did you have to boil your clothes clean? : )
  read
• 
  Sounds like dinner!
  A review of Hog Butchering at home II
  by Jerrold on 01/10/2009
  I found this book informative, and a breeze to read. It could have been strengthened by diagrams of some of the information. I would love to take advantage of this knowledge if I had the stomach to butcher my own meat, this is a great place to garner information. It should be read by anyone wanting to learn how to butcher a Hog. Sausage recipes would be great since they are... I found this book informative, and a breeze to read. It could have been strengthened by diagrams of some of the information. I would love to take advantage of this knowledge if I had the stomach to butcher my own meat, this is a great place to garner information. It should be read by anyone wanting to learn how to butcher a Hog.
  Sausage recipes would be great since they are touched on. All in all I found the book a quick read, engaging and educational. I give it an 8 out of 10. Diagrams would take it to 11 read
• 
  Hog Butchering Review
  A review of Hog Butchering at home II
  by G.R.Q.S on 01/04/2009
  Interesting and detailed documentery piece on hog butchering. Well research with lots of insider lingo and techniques/tricks of the trade. Liked the fact about things being pickled in vinegar. "Anything that you pickle in vinegar requires no refrigeration. The vinegar is the preservative and as long as the item is covered completely by vinegar, it will keep a very long time"... Interesting and detailed documentery piece on hog butchering.
  Well research with lots of insider lingo and techniques/tricks of the trade.
  Liked the fact about things being pickled in vinegar.
  "Anything that you pickle in vinegar requires no refrigeration. The vinegar is the preservative and as long as the item is covered completely by vinegar, it will keep a very long time"
  Think i'll steal that . . . I mean borrow that and try and work it into a short story some how.
  
  Overall a well written and very informative piece. read
• 
  second review
  A review of Hog Butchering at home II
  by dominicbell on 01/02/2009
  Really enjoyed this! I am an art student and I think my class would have a field day talking about this, it talks about something that is lost, a trade lost along with the partisan. I am amazed at the depth of the instructions, an unbelievable account of a very thorough procedure. The only criticism i can maybe offer is to the ending as for the list of equipment, perhpas it... Really enjoyed this! I am an art student and I think my class would have a field day talking about this, it talks about something that is lost, a trade lost along with the partisan. I am amazed at the depth of the instructions, an unbelievable account of a very thorough procedure. The only criticism i can maybe offer is to the ending as for the list of equipment, perhpas it would be more fitting to follow the prior nature of the piece and end on a light note or a quirky statement. Overall, this was a real enjoyment, a light and hearty read, which is still relevant in todays society, showing a loss of committing to an act ones self. cheers! read
• 
  Just Do It - You don't have to like it.
  A review of Hog Butchering at home II
  by facilet on 01/02/2009
  This was a great article! Thanks. Even though I'm a Minnesota Yankee I've got a good friend from Georgia. I could almost hear Curtis telling me how to butcher a hog in his round about way. I love your folksy tone and light-hearted but practical approach to documenting the particulars. What a great service, and solid belly laughs you provided me. I'm printing this one out... This was a great article! Thanks. Even though I'm a Minnesota Yankee I've got a good friend from Georgia. I could almost hear Curtis telling me how to butcher a hog in his round about way.
  I love your folksy tone and light-hearted but practical approach to documenting the particulars.
  What a great service, and solid belly laughs you provided me.
  I'm printing this one out so just in case the apocolypse happens tommorow I'll have some idea about how to keep meat for my family.
  I've actually seen hogs butchered on the farm as a kid, but had no idea what they were actually doing.
  I was just talking with my daughters yesterday about where bacon actually comes from, and now I can almost show them. I'd love to read other short stories about your southern rural life. Make sure you get them down before they are lost in time. Keep writing, you have got some talent for creating entertaining pieces. read