Reviews of Hunt for the Chupacabra 9

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  Could be even better.
  A review of Hunt for the Chupacabra
  by Ng Hoi Yee on 06/19/2012
  Calvin went across the desert after the beast that killed his son Henry. The writing is good to build up the suspense and anxiety we felt for Calvin as he gained closer to the beast. He thought he had killed it but at the last moment the beast got him instead. This ending was a bit disappointing as the main character was killed and there was no possible continuation of the... Calvin went across the desert after the beast that killed his son Henry. The writing is good to build up the suspense and anxiety we felt for Calvin as he gained closer to the beast. He thought he had killed it but at the last moment the beast got him instead. This ending was a bit disappointing as the main character was killed and there was no possible continuation of the story. Otherwise, smooth read! read
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  Hunt for the Chupacabra - review
  A review of Hunt for the Chupacabra
  by jasonlac on 04/26/2012
  I really liked the fact that you set this story in the late 19th century. Combining genres seems to be a growing trend and I like the mix of horror and western. In fact, I think you could have gone even further in your description of the era, the setting and the culture of the time. Being a fan of the Chupacabra myth myself, I was delighted to see you maintained the little... I really liked the fact that you set this story in the late 19th century. Combining genres seems to be a growing trend and I like the mix of horror and western. In fact, I think you could have gone even further in your description of the era, the setting and the culture of the time. Being a fan of the Chupacabra myth myself, I was delighted to see you maintained the little known but often used description of the beast.
  
  I feel the story would have more depth if you had gone into more back story of Calvin. Revenge certainly provides motivation but pair that drive with guilt and it becomes even more powerful. I know you touched on it but the paragraph describing Calvin's "trance" could and should, in my opinion, be a page or two. The horrors of war, the loss of his wife and his own dark secrets would help to create a richer protagonist.
  
  Overall I enjoyed the read. Keep it up! read
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  Good, fun read
  A review of Hunt for the Chupacabra
  by KSisk90 on 03/25/2012
  As for formatting it was easy to read and flowed well, good job on that. The opening paragraph was good, really captured my attention making me want to read more good job on that. Some things I noticed: He crept up on the corpse, not letting his guard down for a second, and keeping his weapon aimed where he last saw the beast, but it had disappeared again; however, it had... As for formatting it was easy to read and flowed well, good job on that.
  
  The opening paragraph was good, really captured my attention making me want to read more good job on that.
  
  Some things I noticed:
  He crept up on the corpse, not letting his guard down for a second, and keeping his
  weapon aimed where he last saw the beast, but it had disappeared again; however, it had
  not gotten far.
  This could of been split into several sentences.
  
  The red eyes in the water faded, but not because the beast was leaving, the whole
  world was fading.
  I just like this line.
  
  The end was a bit abrupt, I would of liked a bit more closure. But it does make sense, the story was following Calvin, and he does die there.
  
  Overall it was a very good story, you kept me interested the whole way through.
  
  Thanks for the read. read
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  DEATH WITH DIGNITY
  A review of Hunt for the Chupacabra
  by **DELETED ACCOUNT** on 07/26/2011
  I like stories that leave me to wonder why anyone would ever write them; these are invariably stories I really enjoy. This is no exception. You set realistic scene, with realistic tension for authentic character. And though story is brief it is filled with number of good moments. I like determination of hunter; stoically he faces possibility of his own death, even deciding... I like stories that leave me to wonder why anyone would ever write them; these are invariably stories I really enjoy. This is no exception. You set realistic scene, with realistic tension for authentic character. And though story is brief it is filled with number of good moments. I like determination of hunter; stoically he faces possibility of his own death, even deciding it would be good thing in that he would see his son again. But if he succeeds then he would have done favor for whole world. The wisest among us accepts inevitabilities of life, and they derive certain amount of peace from this acceptance. Is good job you do in capturing and conveying darkness of this man’s world; and was easy to visualize setting and action. Your character is not greatly troubled by anything and goes to his end bravely and in control of all that involves him. He dies with dignity intact. Good story, very well written I think. read
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  Revenge is...sweet?
  A review of Hunt for the Chupacabra
  by MaxWatt on 07/21/2011
  "Hunt for the Chupacabra" is an intriguing story of revenge that I enjoyed a great deal. The seven minutes it took me to read this felt more like seven seconds, thanks to the engaging prose which you apply so well. From a grammatical/punctuational standpoint, it's absolutely sound, every sentence the right length and every use of ellipsis is spot on. Tension is accumulated... "Hunt for the Chupacabra" is an intriguing story of revenge that I enjoyed a great deal. The seven minutes it took me to read this felt more like seven seconds, thanks to the engaging prose which you apply so well. From a grammatical/punctuational standpoint, it's absolutely sound, every sentence the right length and every use of ellipsis is spot on.
  
  Tension is accumulated very well, and the development of Calvin's son, Henry, and his death, builds up catharsis. Revenge is a great motivation.
  
  The only area I would consider reworking is the ending. I was a little disorientated by the story's sudden halt, it felt a little unsatisfying for me, personally. I think the story needs something more conclusive, something which allows the reader to think on. While the lexis is all well placed throughout, your final paragraph didn't do anything for me.
  
  This sentenced distracted me: "After Calvin corked the lid back onto the canister and fastened it on his belt, that was when he first noticed the reflection of the pair of red hot coals" - pg 4. I'd change it to: "After Calvin corked the lid back onto the canister and fastened it on his belt, he noticed the reflection of the pair of red hot coals..." - it helps it flow to the same standard as the rest of the story.
  
  All in all, this is just my opinion. This is a well-crafted, thoughtful story which I would certainly recommend. Thanks for the read! read
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  Just die, Chupacabra, die!
  A review of Hunt for the Chupacabra
  by nick74 on 07/17/2011
  Nicely done. Technically, Chupacabra is an example of a well-executed story. As for form and structure you have created a showcase that most on this site would benefit from reading, myself included. The sentences move forward like footsteps on a path, each one leading the reader down the trail toward literary enlightenment. Your action is clean, almost simplistic in its nature,... Nicely done. Technically, Chupacabra is an example of a well-executed story. As for form and structure you have created a showcase that most on this site would benefit from reading, myself included. The sentences move forward like footsteps on a path, each one leading the reader down the trail toward literary enlightenment.
  
  Your action is clean, almost simplistic in its nature, pulls your reader in, and unfolds the plot with great accuracy while never stumbling over its own telling. As such, you employ a great tool to heighten tension: foreshadowing. The little bomb about how "it" wasn't a man he was chasing, and how it treaded along on two feet after getting its other two "blown off", and "creature that had murdered his son" are instances that develop a mysterious want-to-know-more in your audience. Nice touch.
  
  A few interesting points:
  
  pg 1 - Did Union soldiers move in "squadrons?"
  
  pg 5 - the use of "to this very day" halted my comprehension of time lines.
  
  pg 6 - "He only waited but another second before a second small splash..." Tricky verbiage. Perhaps "moment" would serve here.
  
  Technique aside, "Hunt for the Chupacabra" does leave me with one or two questions, each dealing with myth and story. The Chupacabra, as I've always known, is a creature roughly like a medium-sized dog that sucked goat blood and was known for its ability to evade a hunter. Though this last point holds true in the story, the myth was altered the slightest bit in the telling. Some distinguishing prose on this point might serve not only to dilute your doubters, but also heighten the tension even more so than you quite brilliantly did. Now, the Chupacabra is as big as a man, dwells in water, and kills horses, too. Knowing that earlier on would transmit a bit more threat and danger to Calvin's pursuit, and in turn, the reader as well, while alleviating doubt that a Chupacabra could kill his son (even though I suppose the original creature of myth could, as well).
  
  Also, the sense of mission is very well-placed in the story. We know what and why Calvin does what he does, but a theme doesn't begin to unfold until the final two paragraphs. His internalization about wanting to find the Chupacabra at all costs, not concerning himself with the outcome, but rather justifying it one way or the other, would go further, especially once the reader reaches that final page, if it were related earlier on, too. As it is, it almost reads like the decision was made to end the writing of the story thereby conducting the end of the story accordingly. I like the ending for its unpredictability and its closure, but drawing those emotional elements throughout the entire story would create a richer thematic closing.
  
  In spite of my critical input, which I'm afraid will sound more devastating to my experience of this story than it actually was, I found Chupacabra's 9 pages to read more like three. It's well said, well put together, and a story for serious readers to take seriously. read
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  Hunt for the Chupacabra
  A review of Hunt for the Chupacabra
  by G.R.Q.S on 07/17/2011
  ‘Hunt for the Chupacabra’ is a Sci-fi thriller with elements on horror and western genre’s about an ex-confederate army tracker (Calvin Hawte) who crosses the desert in search of the creature that killed his seven year old son. With good descriptive text and imagery the writing is lean and purposeful as the story builds to an exciting climax. The story doesn’t drag and is... ‘Hunt for the Chupacabra’ is a Sci-fi thriller with elements on horror and western genre’s about an ex-confederate army tracker (Calvin Hawte) who crosses the desert in search of the creature that killed his seven year old son.
  
  With good descriptive text and imagery the writing is lean and purposeful as the story builds to an exciting climax. The story doesn’t drag and is just about the right length. The revenge set up is handled well and the short story flows well to it’s conclusion.
  
  I’d be interested to see how this played out if it was written in the first person instead of the third. I like stories with one central character who features in every scene to be from first person perspective but that’s just personal taste. I would’ve liked the hero to have killed the beast at the end even if he’d lost his own life in the process but that’s just me.
  
  Nicely written story, well worth a read. read
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  Brief But Well Written Prologue
  A review of Hunt for the Chupacabra
  by nickomahoney on 07/16/2011
  Not so much a short story but, as mentioned in the production notes, a prologue for a larger project. This is a well written piece, rich in detail, narrative and descriptions. Calvin's hunt for the mysterious beast has the right tone and set-piece for something of this genre. However its difficult to give it an overall review seeing its not so much a self-contained narrative... Not so much a short story but, as mentioned in the production notes, a prologue for a larger project.
  
  This is a well written piece, rich in detail, narrative and descriptions. Calvin's hunt for the mysterious beast has the right tone and set-piece for something of this genre.
  
  However its difficult to give it an overall review seeing its not so much a self-contained narrative but more of a setup for a much larger plot.
  
  Despite the demise of the lead character, the story is still unresolved seeing there is no real closure on the beast (I'm sure this will come later)
  
  Overall its definitely an interesting start and I wish you luck on the whole project read
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  Chupacabras are awesome...
  A review of Hunt for the Chupacabra
  by HeyJude1990 on 07/15/2011
  I've always been interested in different legends, such as Loch Ness, Bigfoot, etc. So, I was excited to find that I was assigned this story. I think the Chupacabra is really good subject matter, it seems to be not talked about quite as much as other myths. And I liked the extra layer of story you added, by not putting this in a modern setting, but having a confederate soldier... I've always been interested in different legends, such as Loch Ness, Bigfoot, etc. So, I was excited to find that I was assigned this story. I think the Chupacabra is really good subject matter, it seems to be not talked about quite as much as other myths. And I liked the extra layer of story you added, by not putting this in a modern setting, but having a confederate soldier as the main character, attempting to avenge his son's murder.
  
  One discretion I have, I kinda wish you had explained more about his son's death. How exactly did it happen? Maybe Calvin was off doing something else, when the attack happened? And that's why he feels extra responsible and guilty about the incident?
  
  Overall, a really awesome short story. I especially liked the ending, that little twist you added at the end. Great job! read