+ more submissions by bigheadx

Reviews of Koz Baker 15

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  Let Me Throw You a Curve
  A review of Koz Baker
  by MarcTwine on 05/11/2013
  ..."It was better than the clams". Loved it. Been there. And if there ever were a dusty wasteland far removed from ocean freshness, you are there. Utah. On to the story: STRIKE TWO !! You had plenty of room to finish the story (within TS constraints). Why didn't you? Don't care much about B-ball, Round-ball, Hockey, Bob-sledding or "curling" (Sorry Canada). But, where's... ..."It was better than the clams". Loved it. Been there. And if there ever were a dusty wasteland far removed from ocean freshness, you are there. Utah.
  
  On to the story: STRIKE TWO !!
  
  You had plenty of room to finish the story (within TS constraints). Why didn't you?
  
  Don't care much about B-ball, Round-ball, Hockey, Bob-sledding or "curling" (Sorry Canada).
  
  But, where's the story? Sounds to me like it's the seventh-inning stretch. That is: BORING.
  
  I'll wait to watch it on ESPN. On second thought, I won''t. read
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  Word Of Warning - I am not a baseball fan
  A review of Koz Baker
  by Karl Gorman on 09/11/2012
  But I guess that could be to your benefit. You will get a very unbiased review this way. My best suggestion is to write this as an interior monologue – maybe a journal entry – with the protagonist’s voice in the text. That will give the whole thing a lot more “colour.” The opening line, which is the same as your “synopsis” – is a good opening. If you rewrite this in the young... But I guess that could be to your benefit. You will get a very unbiased review this way.
  
  My best suggestion is to write this as an interior monologue – maybe a journal entry – with the protagonist’s voice in the text. That will give the whole thing a lot more “colour.”
  
  The opening line, which is the same as your “synopsis” – is a good opening. If you rewrite this in the young manager’s voice (which I hope you do) still start with the basics of this line.
  
  “Never was’s” should be “never was’” Have an apostrophe after the ‘s’ but not followed by another ‘s.’
  
  And get rid of this: ‘The dead manager blamed the tattoos and the jewelry and the clubhouse prayer meetings and the showboating on the field, the putting yourself ahead of the team. The general manager did not feel as strongly about these issues, certainly not enough to throw himself out a hotel room window. This was minor league baseball, after all. Not the bigs.’
  
  Why get rid of it? It is too much of a plain statement. It is totally deducible what the manager was like when the protagonist recalls what he said to the tattooed member and to the “fashion queen.”
  
  Good luck with the competition. read
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  Koz Baker
  A review of Koz Baker
  by AMF1 on 06/30/2012
  An older man who is a Minor League Baseball manager, commits suicide. He jumps out of a window. While he had previously threatened to kill himself, if he was replaced by fiery Minor League manager Koz Baker. Before his death, he wrote a note saying he felt Baker would be a good replacement for himself.While losing Minor League Baseball games you figure isn't enough of a reason... An older man who is a Minor League Baseball manager, commits suicide. He jumps out of a window. While he had previously threatened to kill himself, if he was replaced by fiery Minor League manager Koz Baker. Before his death, he wrote a note saying he felt Baker would be a good replacement for himself.While losing Minor League Baseball games you figure isn't enough of a reason to end your life. After having dinner with the G.M. and saying if he was fired and replaced with Koz Baker he'd kill himself, the elderly manager killed himself and left a note behind reading, "CALL HIM." The story describes the way some modern day players behave.There are players who are a part of religious groups. And then there are players with Tattos, Earrings, Jewelery, things that are typical in today's society. At the sametime the story discusses the managers suicide, there are what I guessed were religious references. Because when the manager has the meal where he says he will kill himself if fired and replaced by Koz Baker (The managers last Supper before he does end his own life and leaves a note behind saying he thinks it would be a good idea to hire Koz Baker) The author writes about how the area near the restaurant,is an area where Mormons get married. And then there are what I guess are religious references. I’m not sure exactly what the author was trying to say by that.I'm not sure why a Mormon wedding was mentioned.It was confusing to try and figure out weather,the Author was or wasn't making a religious statement.If the Author wanted to make a religious statement,that's great but it's better for the reader to know weather there is one being made. read
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  Always love reading sports stories.
  A review of Koz Baker
  by vieira4 on 03/08/2012
  Hi. Thanks for showing us your great story. I, personally, mostly write about football AKA soccer, so I totally get the seriousness you attach to sport. I particularly liked the line about not expecting suicide, but expecting something to happen. I didn't quite get the last line. I'm assuming the guy is planning to call Koz Baker, which is why he needs a hotel room, but I... Hi. Thanks for showing us your great story. I, personally, mostly write about football AKA soccer, so I totally get the seriousness you attach to sport. I particularly liked the line about not expecting suicide, but expecting something to happen.
  
  I didn't quite get the last line. I'm assuming the guy is planning to call Koz Baker, which is why he needs a hotel room, but I could have totally misread that. I thought you made gawker.com up and were being really funny, before googling it and finding out it was real! "Diamond ear stud the size of a sparrow's egg" - reminds me of one of my sporting heroes, Mario Balotelli. (So does Koz Baker, for that matter.) I always like the wild ones.
  
  Can you just explain, for the benefit of an English person, what you mean by being eighteen or twenty-seven games 'out'? Does this mean they've lost that many games? Finally, doesn't bother me, but you'll get groaned at for not double spacing or adding a title page.
  
  All in all, even though I didn't understand everything that was going on in this story for cultural reasons, it was an entertaining read, and your characters are incredible. read
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  Taking the Dive
  A review of Koz Baker
  by MaxWatt on 01/05/2012
  "Koz Baker" tells of responsibility and how it is passed down. The manager's death results in someone lower down taking up his responsibilities, and has to make tough decisions. While we don't see him make the final decision, that doesn't matter, because it's not about that, it's about the hardships that responsibilities bring. Forgive me for rambling on with this in-depth... "Koz Baker" tells of responsibility and how it is passed down. The manager's death results in someone lower down taking up his responsibilities, and has to make tough decisions. While we don't see him make the final decision, that doesn't matter, because it's not about that, it's about the hardships that responsibilities bring. Forgive me for rambling on with this in-depth bollocks, but it's a good measure of a story's effectiveness. The fact that I can look at it and pull out themes is a great sign. I can see literature classes analysing the meanings behind the words and events. And that's just one idea, there are many that could be surfaced.
  
  1 - "The young general manager somberly faced the media in a small conference room the hotel opened up so they would not do it in the lobby" - too long.
  
  4 - "wondered if there any rooms available" - wondered if there were any rooms available...
  
  Apart from a couple of extremely minor mistakes, this is a flawless story. Sadly, I can see it as the type where people tell you that it's not long enough, that it's not enough to be a story. There are plenty of stories this length and shorter which are renowned classics, so to speak. They often end up in anthologies etc. This story accomplishes what it needs to, and that's that.
  
  I wish I had more to say, but I don't. Kudos and thanks for the read. read
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  A Literary Stumble
  A review of Koz Baker
  by SappleScoot on 01/17/2011
  I get the frustration of a losing team. I get the old man's (misguided) suicide. I get the introspective escape at the park. What I don't get is how the story ends. The GM is caught in a bad time of his life, and sits, wondering about the past, the present... and a bit about the future. Everything is okay up to the end. When the GM considers a room on the top floor, I'm left... I get the frustration of a losing team. I get the old man's (misguided) suicide. I get the introspective escape at the park. What I don't get is how the story ends. The GM is caught in a bad time of his life, and sits, wondering about the past, the present... and a bit about the future. Everything is okay up to the end. When the GM considers a room on the top floor, I'm left wondering how in the world this character made such a leap from reminiscing to considering a top floor room. There's something missing here, and I think it's in the GM's memory. Let's hear some more about what he's thinking. If the end line is supposed to be tongue-in-cheek, that should be a little more defined.
  
  Great description of the non-team and all the quirkiness included.
  
  p3: Capitalize the nickname, "Skip" and subsequent uses
  
  This has the potential to be a good piece of literary drama, but it needs more development. The next draft will be better - keep up the good work! read
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  Review of Koz Baker
  A review of Koz Baker
  by jparfitt on 12/09/2010
  This story could not keep my interest to save my life. There was something about this that I cannot quite pin point that was missing. I was confused as too why the guy killed himself? Just because his team sucked? or was there actually something else? You story may also get deleted due to the fact it was uploaded in the font “Cambria” which is forbidden by the Trigger Street... This story could not keep my interest to save my life. There was something about this that I cannot quite pin point that was missing.
  
  I was confused as too why the guy killed himself? Just because his team sucked? or was there actually something else?
  
  You story may also get deleted due to the fact it was uploaded in the font “Cambria” which is forbidden by the Trigger Street regulations.
  
  Keep writing, you will only get better!
  read
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  Minor League Problems
  A review of Koz Baker
  by mnjones on 11/29/2010
  I very much enjoyed this well written account of the problems the young general manager of a minor league baseball team faces after the suicidal death of the team's manager. I do wish both these colorful characters had names. Giving a character a name helps the reader form a more vivid image. I like the ending. It was unexpected but entirely appropriate to what went before... I very much enjoyed this well written account of the problems the young general manager of a minor league baseball team faces after the suicidal death of the team's manager. I do wish both these colorful characters had names. Giving a character a name helps the reader form a more vivid image. I like the ending. It was unexpected but entirely appropriate to what went before. However, it came so abruptly that something seemed, to me, to be missing. But maybe that's just me, for I have no suggestions as to what that "something missing" could be. Perhaps the young manager could wrestle a bit longer over the prospect of hiring Cosgrove "Koz" Baker. I like the writer's crisp, concise style
  
  Good luck. read
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  Three base hit
  A review of Koz Baker
  by Lex007 on 11/25/2010
  This is a great short story. It was nice that is so short – not that I didn’t want to read anymore but it was a nice compact read. It’s a sad story but a nice snapshot into baseball life and people trying to live the American dream but not reaching it, like a lucky few have in the major league. Doesn’t sound like the young manager will reach it either. I didn’t find any grammatical... This is a great short story. It was nice that is so short – not that I didn’t want to read anymore but it was a nice compact read. It’s a sad story but a nice snapshot into baseball life and people trying to live the American dream but not reaching it, like a lucky few have in the major league. Doesn’t sound like the young manager will reach it either.
  I didn’t find any grammatical or spelling errors which was refreshing after all the others I’ve reviewed.
  I liked the mystery you created by not telling us straight away what the note said, however I wanted to know as soon as the story started what sport it was about.
  One thing I think that would improve this story is giving the characters names and a brief description of them so the reader can get a picture in their mind.
  Keep up the writing, I really did enjoy this read.
  read
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  The Bad News barons.....
  A review of Koz Baker
  by nick74 on 11/24/2010
  Fun piece. I think the reason the short story exists, at least initially some number of millennia ago, was to describe a single moment in time - a snapshot of someone's life where which multiple events have an overpowering affect to their subject. This piece is a masterful practice of my theory. Essentially, after the setup, the whole story happens at one setting, with one... Fun piece. I think the reason the short story exists, at least initially some number of millennia ago, was to describe a single moment in time - a snapshot of someone's life where which multiple events have an overpowering affect to their subject. This piece is a masterful practice of my theory. Essentially, after the setup, the whole story happens at one setting, with one man pondering his troubles - in the young manager's case, his fate. Very nicely told with a polished voice that introduces the element of mystery nicely and in a well paced fashion.
  
  I've always thought it to be an interesting concept naming a story - whether it be a book, movie or piece of short fiction - the name of a character that doesn't actually exist in the text. It alludes to concept, that elusive thing that is missing in most creative work. In this story Koz Baker (which, by the way, is a great baseball name; kind of like Cole Trickle in Days of Thunder only without being quite so contrived) represented the unattainable, those life trophies that elude us till the end. Nice.
  
  A good story, technically tight, well-voiced, simple and fun to trek along with. read