Reviews of My Argument with God 29

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  James! Fetch hither the wheels!
  A review of My Argument with God
  by f-ceska on 09/02/2012
  The only thing I wasn’t sure about with this story, was the title. It led me to expect something else entirely. I’m glad I didn’t get what I expected, because this story was a joy to read. I loved the dry, scalding humour. I loved your characterisation, especially the teeny-bop girl in the boob-tube, and the two ‘bags’: Cotton Candy Head and Big Teeth. The dialogue was spot... The only thing I wasn’t sure about with this story, was the title. It led me to expect something else entirely. I’m glad I didn’t get what I expected, because this story was a joy to read. I loved the dry, scalding humour. I loved your characterisation, especially the teeny-bop girl in the boob-tube, and the two ‘bags’: Cotton Candy Head and Big Teeth. The dialogue was spot on. In fact the whole thing was so well written that it painted a very clear picture for me, of a world I know nothing about and which is a million miles away, and yet, if felt believable. I’m guessing late seventies or early eighties from the descriptions, a seedy class of glamour, the behind-the-scenes perspective of a limo driver. I can really see this as part of a screenplay. If you haven’t already, you should think about writing for the screen. Entertaining, original, witty. Well done. read
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  My Argument with God
  A review of My Argument with God
  by GreatJJ on 12/16/2010
  Wow! What great writing. I'm sorry that I can't be too technical as I have only written two short storys since I started a couple of months ago. I do, however, have a big appreciation for art. And your work was good art form to me.I have reviewed a lot of stories and really like not having to trip over the writing. As in yours, I like the even flow that allowed you to paint... Wow! What great writing.
  I'm sorry that I can't be too technical as I have only written two short storys since I started a couple of months ago. I do, however, have a big appreciation for art. And your work was good art form to me.I have reviewed a lot of stories and really like not having to trip over the writing. As in yours, I like the even flow that allowed you to paint your story. And a very good painting at that.
  
  Thanks for the read,
  
  mr savage read
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  Review of "My Argument with God"
  A review of My Argument with God
  by Matthew Spira on 11/14/2010
  Hi, I wish I'd read this one before "Flight 18" as it provides a lot more contextual understanding of Max, and the world he inhabits. This feels much more like a complete story instead of simply an extended anecdote. The description is visual, precise and Max is a very good observer of the craziness going on around him. There is a clear send of movement through the story,... Hi,
  
  I wish I'd read this one before "Flight 18" as it provides a lot more contextual understanding of Max, and the world he inhabits.
  
  This feels much more like a complete story instead of simply an extended anecdote. The description is visual, precise and Max is a very good observer of the craziness going on around him. There is a clear send of movement through the story, and the digressions about Dave, Steve and Al are all interesting and effectively serve the larger narrative.
  
  There is a resonance to this story that comes from two things: 1) Max's basic sense of decency, ie making sure "Big Teeth" not only gets to her condo, but on her couch with the door securely locked. 2) The sense of vulnerability and absurdity of the desperation to even just brush up against fame and the famous.
  
  The one thing I'd like a little bit more of from Max is self-reflection about himself and his argument with God. I do think this kind of story needs a counterbalance of "interior" for all the very interesting "exterior" that is going on, if that makes sense.
  
  I truly enjoyed reading this.
  
  Best,
  
  -Matt read
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  Who'd be a driver?
  A review of My Argument with God
  by djburke on 11/11/2010
  This is an interesting snapshot of a night out for a limo driver. It took me a while to get into it, but once it got going it was entertaining. It made me chuckle a few times, mostly from the drivers insults directed at his clients. Some of the terms are very American; I had to stop and think what they meant. This interrupted the flow a little. The dialog was good, I liked...
  This is an interesting snapshot of a night out for a limo driver. It took me a while to get into it, but once it got going it was entertaining. It made me chuckle a few times, mostly from the drivers insults directed at his clients.
  
  Some of the terms are very American; I had to stop and think what they meant. This interrupted the flow a little.
  
  The dialog was good, I liked the contempt he had for the people he drove around. It all felt very real.
  
  I wasn't really sure where the argument with God came in, maybe I missed something. The story didn't seem to have a point or a message.
  
  I would like to see some character development.
  
  
  
  read
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  My Argument with God
  A review of My Argument with God
  by YeahHi on 07/11/2010
  This is a work of comic genius. Flat out. I started to list the funny lines but there were just too many. It’s all very, very funny and beautifully painted. I loved all the period references (painter’s pants, B-52s, Datsun, making sure to get the $2 back that someone owes you.) Damn, I miss cocaine! “Hosebags” and especially “the bags” are hilarious ways to refer to... This is a work of comic genius. Flat out. I started to list the funny lines but there were just too many. It’s all very, very funny and beautifully painted. I loved all the period references (painter’s pants, B-52s, Datsun, making sure to get the $2 back that someone owes you.) Damn, I miss cocaine!
  
  “Hosebags” and especially “the bags” are hilarious ways to refer to Cotton Candy Head and Big Teeth, but by page 18 the terms are a little over used. But, on page 19, “Karen. Carol. What’s the difference? Was I right or what? The bags.” I like it again.
  
  Big Teeth banging her head on the doorframe didn’t seem as serious as the narrator seemed to think it was with all his (very funny) anxiety about emergency rooms and coroner’s reports.
  
  The narrator was sympathetic and engaging even as he showed hilarious distain for everyone.
  
  I didn’t get what you meant by “winning my argument with god”. I like it a lot as a title but I missed its significance in the story.
  
  This is the first Triggerstreet story I would want to share with someone offsite. Genius!
  Shauna read
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  Taxi Cab Confessions
  A review of My Argument with God
  by **DELETED ACCOUNT** on 06/23/2010
  I thought the development of the narrator's character was great and although i believe the name was mentioned once in the dialogue, I forget it. I grasped the sense of an uneducated therefore highly judgmental "boy" from New Jersey trying to make easy money working an undesirable job for a sleeze bag. I think "Big Teeth" and "Cotton Candy Hair" would have been better developed... I thought the development of the narrator's character was great and although i believe the name was mentioned once in the dialogue, I forget it. I grasped the sense of an uneducated therefore highly judgmental "boy" from New Jersey trying to make easy money working an undesirable job for a sleeze bag. I think "Big Teeth" and "Cotton Candy Hair" would have been better developed if more emphasis was placed on describing movements while in the cab, such as a description of Cotton Candy Hair (is that her name?) putting on lipstick and adjusting her boobs, for instance, while her friend is struggling to keep consciousness. The mere suggestion that the narrator understands the desired outcome of Cotton Candy's night suggests that he is similarly selfish, as depicted at the end of the story when he leaves room for the reader to question whether Big Teeth survives her drug induced stupor concussion. I found a few grammatical errors, however, I didn't find it difficult to dismiss them! I think the premise could be more narrow and the story could leave out the other cab drivers, making it a more "taxi cab confession" so to speak....but in a limo. Thanks for the story! read
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  Outstanding
  A review of My Argument with God
  by **DELETED ACCOUNT** on 06/19/2010
  The best word to describe this is "vivid." The characters, the scenes, the descriptions of life in LA stand out with startling clarity. The author has a fine feel for detail but doesn't get bogged down, and the story flows nicely. The arc is easy to follow and there is never a false note. Well written and compelling! Very much in line with the author's other fine stories--either... The best word to describe this is "vivid." The characters, the scenes, the descriptions of life in LA stand out with startling clarity. The author has a fine feel for detail but doesn't get bogged down, and the story flows nicely. The arc is easy to follow and there is never a false note. Well written and compelling! Very much in line with the author's other fine stories--either part of a novel or would make a good collection of short stories. read
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  One night in L.A.
  A review of My Argument with God
  by Titus Kodzoman on 03/28/2010
  A well written 'slice of life' piece from a writer that i suspect is more at home writing screenplays than short stories. 'My argument with God' Follows Max and his trials and tribulations of one night's work as a limo driver. Although competantly written (especially the dialogue) and with well defined (albeit stereotypical) characters. I was left with a feeling of dissatisfaction... A well written 'slice of life' piece from a writer that i suspect is more at home writing screenplays than short stories.
  
  'My argument with God' Follows Max and his trials and tribulations of one night's work as a limo driver.
  Although competantly written (especially the dialogue) and with well defined (albeit stereotypical) characters. I was left with a feeling of dissatisfaction. It was as if i started watching a Hollywood film in the middle and didn't see the end.
  Writers from the U.S.A often forget that not everyone else is from their country and understand all the Americanisms, fine if your target audience is just the states but TS is an international website ( example - hosebags?!).
  To some up a well written slice of life but for me i'm left feeling a tad empty. read
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  A GATHERING OF ACHIEVERS
  A review of My Argument with God
  by gclifton on 03/13/2010
  You've got a great deal of cynical, very funny humor stacked in here. Hope you saved some ammo for more. The business of dumb hicks with eighth grade educations from Arkansas wears a little thin, but works ok as humor. "Cocksuck'ah" is a word more from New York than Arkansas. The "C" word in Arkansas translates more directly to mother-in-law, especially when the bride is... You've got a great deal of cynical, very funny humor stacked in here. Hope you saved some ammo for more.
  
  The business of dumb hicks with eighth grade educations from Arkansas wears a little thin, but works ok as humor. "Cocksuck'ah" is a word more from New York than Arkansas. The "C" word in Arkansas translates more directly to mother-in-law, especially when the bride is fourteen or younger.
  
  Your use of descriptive names is well done, making for some good characterization with little physical description necessary.
  
  Good humor, well done, a good read. read
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  Interesting concept, but a little mundane storyline.
  A review of My Argument with God
  by norazo on 02/17/2010
  Initially, I was hesitant to read everything because the plot seemed a little mundane. I did give it a shot and read the whole story. The concept is interesting to look into the lives of these limo drivers. However, the storyline lacks any punch and gets a little draggy to read. It would have been nice to have a climax somewhere in the story. The language is good though... Initially, I was hesitant to read everything because the plot seemed a little mundane. I did give it a shot and read the whole story.
  
  The concept is interesting to look into the lives of these limo drivers. However, the storyline lacks any punch and gets a little draggy to read. It would have been nice to have a climax somewhere in the story.
  
  The language is good though. Has wits and attitude.I like that. Maybe explore more into other concepts and add some bits of excitement.
  
  Overall, the story feels more like an excerpt from a whole book rather than a story on its own but definitely good effort. read