Reviews of Prostitute Stew 7

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  Wham, bang, bam!
  A review of Prostitute Stew
  by f-ceska on 11/25/2012
  I have to say that this flowed well, it was a quick read and I wanted to know how it would end. On the whole it was a good piece of writing. Only a couple of points: 1) Indent new lines of speech 2) This was almost completely dialogue – it read almost like a scene from a film. 3) If I’m meant to review this as a complete short story, it's almost too simplistic, the outcome... I have to say that this flowed well, it was a quick read and I wanted to know how it would end. On the whole it was a good piece of writing. Only a couple of points:
  1) Indent new lines of speech
  2) This was almost completely dialogue – it read almost like a scene from a film.
  3) If I’m meant to review this as a complete short story, it's almost too simplistic, the outcome is almost too obvious – there isn’t really anything else that happens except what we see and hear, although you do say it’s only meant as a teaser.
  4) There’s room for character development.
  Nevertheless, it's clear you can write, there are no serious problems with it, and it shows potential. read
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  All naked and tied up and no place to go
  A review of Prostitute Stew
  by tishanddavid on 11/06/2012
  Hello Mr Hickey, ever read stephen King? he wrote a little story called Geralds Game? Gerald and Jessie are a married couple intent on a little fun in the bedroom to help spice up their marriage. Gerald’s idea is to handcuff Jessie to the bedposts for a little game of S&M. Jessie isn’t all that interested in the game, but Gerald is. Neither had considered the prospect before... Hello Mr Hickey, ever read stephen King? he wrote a little story called Geralds Game?
  
  Gerald and Jessie are a married couple intent on a little fun in the bedroom to help spice up their marriage. Gerald’s idea is to handcuff Jessie to the bedposts for a little game of S&M. Jessie isn’t all that interested in the game, but Gerald is. Neither had considered the prospect before now.
  
  Gerald is getting more aroused as the game progresses, and slaps on the handcuffs. Jessie, on the other hand, has had enough and wants the game to end. As Gerald secures the handcuff to the bedpost, Jessie demands that he remove the cuffs, and when he refuses, she kicks him in the stomach and he falls to the floor.And he has a heart attack and she is stuck in this bed to die until...some one knocks on the door.
  
  I would say that your chapter is a lot like Mr Kings tale. I read your notes and I realize that its hard to determinate what youre doing here without the rest of the story. If this was JUST a short story and you did not have anything else to follow I would say lead us into what the relationship is with the GF. Is she a raging bitch who's going to literally kill him?
  Like slaughter him in his sleep? Is she a heiress to a massive fortune? A politicians daughter? really it could go on. Is he someone important like a sheriff or a famous persons son? There needs to be a reason that he is willing to risk prison and kill someone.
  
  If it was me I would offer her some money to get the hell out...that's an option.
  
  I was thinking you would allude to him having some tie into Wall Street and the bull he bashes her head in with is the Wall Street bull ( a lot or irony depending on who he is or his grandfather is)
  
  I am also not to sure that bashing her head is a good idea, a lot of blood and brains to clean up its not like he can drag her off the bed and shove her in a closet.I would opt to strangle her with her own nylons or smother her. But, really that's just me.
  
  So it said cannibalism, huh? I would hope that your not ripping off Mr King and that you have a more complex tale it has a good opener (check those typos and grammar mistakes).
  
  Good luck, Tisha read
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  More Context Needed
  A review of Prostitute Stew
  by HenryHank on 08/28/2012
  The author states that this story is a selection from a larger piece. Without the larger context, the main character's murderous impulse is farcical. It also ends with the death of the prostitute, thus leaving the reader to wonder what happened next? Also, it should be made absolutely clear that his fiance is at the door. It could've been the fed ex man. No time of day... The author states that this story is a selection from a larger piece. Without the larger context, the main character's murderous impulse is farcical. It also ends with the death of the prostitute, thus leaving the reader to wonder what happened next? Also, it should be made absolutely clear that his fiance is at the door. It could've been the fed ex man. No time of day was established. The dialog is okay, but why didn't the author have the character offer more money for the prostitute to hide? The tagline mentions cannibalism which makes one think that, once again, the context is missing, thus preventing an honest assessment. read
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  Knock Knock Nobody There
  A review of Prostitute Stew
  by tmadden on 02/21/2011
  If S&M is your cup of scream tea, and you find knots in ropes hilarious and mysteries like who's that knocking at the door thrilling, then you'll find this one a tasty, feisty brew. There was a moment of comic relief when the central character bashes his paramour with statue of a bull, thus saving a relationship with a girlfriend who presumably is the mystery door banger... If S&M is your cup of scream tea, and you find knots in ropes hilarious and mysteries like who's that knocking at the door thrilling, then you'll find this one a tasty, feisty brew.
  
  There was a moment of comic relief when the central character bashes his paramour with statue of a bull, thus saving a relationship with a girlfriend who presumably is the mystery door banger who was returning home unexpectedly.
  
  Being found tied up and on the beating end beneath a grinding naked S&M partner would definitely be difficult to explain, so one can certainly see the predicament.
  
  And the bull bashing was a clever way out.
  
  The thing I liked most about this engrossing tale was that it was mercifully only five pages.
  Thank you for that!
  
  
  
  
  read
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  Review of Prostitute Stew
  A review of Prostitute Stew
  by Gabigabs on 11/16/2010
  The story kept me mostly interested; however there are few things that I would like to point out. First of all I would like to know more about the protagonist. Who is he, other than cheater? Secondly in the beginning it appears as he is tied against his will, and is fearing for his life. I found it unlikely that a prostitute he hired would tie him to a bed without his content... The story kept me mostly interested; however there are few things that I would like to point out.
  
  First of all I would like to know more about the protagonist. Who is he, other than cheater?
  
  Secondly in the beginning it appears as he is tied against his will, and is fearing for his life. I found it unlikely that a prostitute he hired would tie him to a bed without his content.
  
  The third thing that I did not quite understand was the protagonist's certainty that it is his fiancee behind the door. It could be a neighbor, friend, his mom...
  
  The scene where the protagonist was quarreling with the prostitute, trying to persuade her to hide seemed to be dragging a little.
  
  There did not seem to be any change in intensity of the knocking. If indeed it was sarah behind the door and if she knew he was in, wouldn't the knock turn into a pounding after a while.
  
  Pg.2 - The worst part was that my fiancé, Sarah, was out of town for the week, and I don’t even think she has a key. - This sentence made a little sense to me. If it was his place, he would know whether or not he gave her a key.
  
  Overall: The author has a good base for an interesting story. Good Luck! read
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  Tie me up!
  A review of Prostitute Stew
  by djburke on 10/27/2010
  This story made me chuckle all the way until the end. EEK. He killed her? This has the potential to be a long piece, you could go either way. Make it a farce or a black comedy. Start by describing the relationship with his current girl, what he is not getting from her. getting her to go away on a trip. Arranging for the prostitute to come round. The killing, body disposal...
  This story made me chuckle all the way until the end. EEK. He killed her?
  
  This has the potential to be a long piece, you could go either way. Make it a farce or a black comedy.
  
  Start by describing the relationship with his current girl, what he is not getting from her. getting her to go away on a trip. Arranging for the prostitute to come round. The killing, body disposal. The possibilities are endless.
  
  A nice little piece well written. I look forward to the full version. read
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  There's good potential here
  A review of Prostitute Stew
  by richbett on 05/23/2010
  I'll leave gramar and puctuation to those who are good at it and just render opinions here. Keep in mind that the only real opinion that matters is yours, so take what you can use and throw away the extra. You've got something with good potential here, but it might work better in whatever larger work from which you took it. I do think you’re on to something that could easily... I'll leave gramar and puctuation to those who are good at it and just render opinions here. Keep in mind that the only real opinion that matters is yours, so take what you can use and throw away the extra.
  
  You've got something with good potential here, but it might work better in whatever larger work from which you took it. I do think you’re on to something that could easily be developed into a very good story with only a modicum of work though.
  
  A few quick thoughts: 1. Since the idea of being caught is going to be enough that the man would kill to keep it secret – build on that. More play on what he loses if he get’s caught cheating on the fiancé – say if he’s marrying into a famous family, or he’s a politically active up and comer, or a police chief, etc. 2. You’re doing a great job of building that anxiety that he’s about to get caught. Pour it on. This is where the story really shines, I think. We’ve all been caught doing something wrong in life – maybe not with a hooker – but we all know the anxiety. 3. Blunt force trama is probably not your best choice of death. If he’s going to “shut her up” and have any chance of hiding it, he’ll have to strangle her. She’s tied up, preferably expand that to be immobilized as well, so he can strangle her easily. Whether his intent from the start is to kill or just silence her, is your call. But, blunt force means blood. The old adage is “the first one is free” in blunt force trauma. If he kills her in one hit, there’s not so much splatter, but after the first one, it gets messy fast.
  
  Anyway, I think you’ve got something here that has real potential, even more so if you plan to expand the story to include what to do with the body AFTER he kills her and lets the fiancé into the home. read