Reviews of Rolling Meadows 11

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  Rolling Meadows Review
  A review of Rolling Meadows
  by covofdark on 12/27/2011
  Hey Dan, You have a wicked sense of humor and you made my day. An old man, Mr. Aldridge is planted in a nursing home by his ungrateful son, is how he likes to think of him in the middle of nowhere. Bitter by the prospect of being there—he terms it as the layover before the six feet of dirt the awaits him and us as well, makes his discontent well known to others. After settling... Hey Dan,
  
  You have a wicked sense of humor and you made my day. An old man, Mr. Aldridge is planted in a nursing home by his ungrateful son, is how he likes to think of him in the middle of nowhere. Bitter by the prospect of being there—he terms it as the layover before the six feet of dirt the awaits him and us as well, makes his discontent well known to others. After settling in, he goes about the grind of familiarizing himself with the place. Interesting characters pop in and out, Dr Williams, Evie, Rhonda, and Andy. Half-way through, Rhonda, an aid to Aldridge is quite a spunky character and doesn’t take much crap—tells Jimmy Aldridge with a firm grip, that basically you won’t be getting out of here alive. That shakes Jimmy’s cankerous demeanor. Soon, he comes to meet Edgar an orderly while having breakfast with some of the inmates as Evie likes to call them, and Jimmy too. There’s tension in the air as he draws close. Edgar can be described almost as a cross between a greaser and a Marilyn Mason type figure in appearance and creepiness. We shortly learn that he's suppose to be the death's angel. Our delightful horror premise begins here. Up to this point, it’s been mostly quick, snappy, and funny dialogue among the players. The odd location of the nursing home alongside a travel agency is tied-in nicely, it’s there for a not so happy travel experience when it’s your time to go when Edgar makes his rounds but Jimmy is determined to find out himself what’s going on and why people die when he shows up. The pacing was good and the ending had a nice twist to it. Overall, very good. All the best. read
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  Well constructed
  A review of Rolling Meadows
  by vinravun on 10/29/2011
  Rolling meadows has it all. Good dialogues, a reasonably good plot and a wonderful main character. You started very well explaining the frustrations an aged man would have when his son dumps him in an old-age home. The description of the characters in the nursing home, the bad food , Evie and Andy was good. The story then went on to become a little spooky and also occasionally... Rolling meadows has it all. Good dialogues, a reasonably good plot and a wonderful main character.
  You started very well explaining the frustrations an aged man would have when his son dumps him in an old-age home. The description of the characters in the nursing home, the bad food , Evie and Andy was good.
  The story then went on to become a little spooky and also occasionally allowed me to laugh nervously. But I think it ended quickly, or rather abruptly. I feel it would have been better if you had made the suspense last a little longer.
  
  To sum it up, good story, good characters and well written. Cheers !! read
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  Tingly spine feeling...
  A review of Rolling Meadows
  by f-ceska on 10/04/2011
  Concept: I really liked the setting for this supernatural type of spooky ghost story - set in an old people's home. It actually made the hairs on my arms stand up at the end and that’s about the best compliment I can give for this kind of genre. Story: Not the most original idea but you made it totally original in your use of the setting, characters and the style in which... Concept: I really liked the setting for this supernatural type of spooky ghost story - set in an old people's home. It actually made the hairs on my arms stand up at the end and that’s about the best compliment I can give for this kind of genre.
  
  Story: Not the most original idea but you made it totally original in your use of the setting, characters and the style in which you told the story. You didn't try to make it spooky in the conventional sense. In fact you completely downplayed all the standard 'supernatural' elements associated with death and omens. I liked how it was told from Jimmy’s point of view, and kept his cynical, bitter tone all the way through. I’m not sure I totally understood the connection with the travel agency at the end, or why Eddie was there, but it didn’t seem to matter.
  
  Character: You drew a great picture of Jimmy, and Evie too. I could just picture them. Jimmy’s dialogue told us loads about his character, so that worked just fine.
  
  Overall: a good story with a unique voice. I only noticed a couple of minor typos but nothing to interfere with the story, so good luck with it.
  
  Notes:
  p.12 died = dyed
  p.20 tell him was a disappointment = what a disappointment read
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  Scared to Grow Old
  A review of Rolling Meadows
  by MaxWatt on 08/16/2011
  This story has a fine comedy vibe, the most prominently displayed aspect of this being Jimmy Aldridge's cynical attitude. This is portrayed wonderfully, his negative comments seem typical and natural, I could definitely empathize with the character. The story unravels characters and scenery with such subtlety that I didn't for once get pulled out of the story. After some skillful... This story has a fine comedy vibe, the most prominently displayed aspect of this being Jimmy Aldridge's cynical attitude. This is portrayed wonderfully, his negative comments seem typical and natural, I could definitely empathize with the character. The story unravels characters and scenery with such subtlety that I didn't for once get pulled out of the story.
  
  After some skillful development a darker element is introduced, which intensifies the interest. This has a lot going on in it. Well done for writing such a concise story!
  
  The supernatural element is left, for the most part, unexplained, which is fine as It allows the reader to think on about it and speculate the goings on behind the doors of the travel agency, however, I'd have liked to have learnt more about this mysterious Edgar character. I didn't notice when the story had ended, it took me by surprise, which just shows how much I was drawn in!
  
  Anyway, not much to nitpick here. This is a solid story. Thanks for the read! read
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  Review of Rolling Meadows
  A review of Rolling Meadows
  by jflynn31 on 03/06/2011
  You’ve taken on a difficult task here: your story’s about a nursing home and most people spend a ton of effort avoiding them. Most people don’t even like to think about them. That said, you’ve done a nice job of making the setting credible: Rolling Meadows smells bad, the food is mostly terrible and the residents are mostly decrepit and waiting to die. Your P.O.V. character... You’ve taken on a difficult task here: your story’s about a nursing home and most people spend a ton of effort avoiding them. Most people don’t even like to think about them. That said, you’ve done a nice job of making the setting credible: Rolling Meadows smells bad, the food is mostly terrible and the residents are mostly decrepit and waiting to die.
  
  Your P.O.V. character Jimmy borders on cliche the way he’s presented: he’s sufficiently crotchety and he makes tons of inappropriate comments concerning his son and his sexuality. You’ve made some effort to make him sympathetic but for the story’s sake, I think you should probably extend these qualities in a rewrite. Your dialogue works for the most part but the characters (the doctors, the nurse, the son) sometimes seem like they’ve come straight from central casting. The son vacillates between mild guilt and apathy, while the Doctor condescends. You did a great job with Evie though— a nearly seamless portrayal.
  
  I was also confused by the travel agency. I’m not sure I grasp its significance as a symbolic portal to death. The first time the characters encounter Edgar it’s with obvious fear and foreboding, like he’s a monster. Then Evie outwits him by closing her eyes. Then she dresses for church and goes to him, with Jimmy in tow, under the pretense that she wants to demonstrate or prove that the travel agency houses Death. The entity “death” vacillates between something to be avoided and something to be appreciated. Like it suddenly becomes necessary and valuable. I found that shift abrupt and it left me wondering what it all meant.
  
  It’s not a bad story by any means. But if it were mine, I’d flesh-out a few things— namely the supporting characters and the admittedly daunting themes that surround the travel agency.
  
  Still, nice job overall. read
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  Rolling Meadows
  A review of Rolling Meadows
  by YeahHi on 12/14/2010
  This is a great story with a really likable central character and well drawn supporting cast. Evie is a great character as is the doctor. The premise is excellent and the image of the young reaper and the process of “taking a ferry” are winning details. I thought the end was a little abrupt. I think a little more mystery and intrigue would make it more satisfying. I was... This is a great story with a really likable central character and well drawn supporting cast. Evie is a great character as is the doctor. The premise is excellent and the image of the young reaper and the process of “taking a ferry” are winning details.
  
  I thought the end was a little abrupt. I think a little more mystery and intrigue would make it more satisfying. I was hoping for more of a mystery/caper. Jimmy accepts things and his new role a little too easily.
  
  It’s not clear who is speaking at the opening of the story.
  
  This is a very entertaining story. Good job!
  Shauna read
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  Book Your Trip Early, Why Wait
  A review of Rolling Meadows
  by **DELETED ACCOUNT** on 08/08/2010
  This look into life in a retirement or assisted living center is wonderful. I particularly liked the way you described Rolling Meadows, both the building and the inhabitants. Actual descriptions and the sarcastic descriptions from Jimmy's thoughts. You just know that everyone feels they are doing their best for their parents or elder family member by finding them a wonderful... This look into life in a retirement or assisted living center is wonderful. I particularly liked the way you described Rolling Meadows, both the building and the inhabitants. Actual descriptions and the sarcastic descriptions from Jimmy's thoughts.
  
  You just know that everyone feels they are doing their best for their parents or elder family member by finding them a wonderful place to live out their final years. And you know that family member is thinking that they have been put, "In the home" or to use your phrase "A wonderful place to die."
  
  I would have liked to see a little more from Jimmy's son's perspective. How difficult was it to care for dad at home, how hard was it to make the decision, or was he as Jimmy thought, just getting rid of the old man?
  
  This was a very nice but sad story.
  
  read
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  ROLLING ALONG NICELY.......
  A review of Rolling Meadows
  by yaja on 08/01/2010
  Let me get the 2 only errors out the way first, before I praise the writer to death (or to The heart Attack Hotel!) The pages were unmubered, so i couldn't point out a mis-spelling. Only one word as far as I could tell: 'died' hair? Should that be DYED? That's the UK spelling; not sure if DIED is an Americanism. Please forgive if that's so. Now onto the good stuff! I always... Let me get the 2 only errors out the way first, before I praise the writer to death (or to The heart Attack Hotel!)
  
  The pages were unmubered, so i couldn't point out a mis-spelling. Only one word as far as I could tell: 'died' hair? Should that be DYED?
  That's the UK spelling; not sure if DIED is an Americanism. Please forgive if that's so.
  
  Now onto the good stuff!
  I always believed that there is a serious future for material about our dear senior citizens! Now I am absolutely convinced!
  
  being a carer to my own mother, who is 83 and has denetia, I too have written shorts about her.
  The comic genius of this writer, had me laughing every step of the way!
  There were SO many classic expressions, I can't point them all out! But some of my faves were:
  Linger-longer!
  Jim turning to show his good side!
  A smile that looked more like pain! (Evie).
  Jims 'own shitter'!
  
  God it goes on, there are so many!
  
  A lovely piece,and although it was loaded with the sad inevitability of what may happen to our loved ones, it also illustrated just how vibrant, and without inhibition these wonderful old dears are.
  
  Jim, Evie, Andy and even 'Charon', all the characters were something striaght out of a Neil Simon film.
  
  The plot was absolutely believable, (even though it wasn't?!? You never know!) And it had me thinking of films like 'Cocoon', although it was much, much sharper and darker.
  
  This would make a great film I think, which would appeal to young and old...Charon being seprarted at birth from a fictitious character in the brilliant English series, 'IT CROWD' called Richmond Avenal. (Check him out!)
  
  Loved everything about it. You did well Sir, in standing up for the mature people in our world. And you did it with both gusto, and sensitivity.
  
  Walter Matthau would've been great playing Jim!
  
  Great read! read
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  Rolling Meadows Review
  A review of Rolling Meadows
  by kkatherine on 05/10/2010
  Rolling Meadows was a very interesting story. A humorous perspective of an old man getting dropped off in a nursing home by his number one son. Not sure if I would put it in the HORROR category. This might turn off some otherwise ready and willing viewers. While it is horrifying the way some of our elderly have to end their lives in a nursing home, that is the only level... Rolling Meadows was a very interesting story. A humorous perspective of an old man getting dropped off in a nursing home by his number one son.
  
  Not sure if I would put it in the HORROR category. This might turn off some otherwise ready and willing viewers. While it is horrifying the way some of our elderly have to end their lives in a nursing home, that is the only level of horror I saw.
  
  One might even consider the old man's interpretation of what happened as dementia? Maybe it was actually happening to him, maybe it wasn't. That perspective adds to the story.
  
  Here are a couple of notes I took while reading:
  
  pg 9: "She holds a gloved hand up the her mouth and whispers, " There is something wrong with thins sentence.
  
  pg 13: "stalking mannerisms and a probably STD, " did you mean probable?
  
  Now having said all that, don't get the wrong impression. Those are just my notes and thoughts of how to get the best out of an already good story.
  
  I enjoyed the story. It flowed well. The characters kept me interested. I was reminded of those I visited in nursing homes and felt compassion for all the old folks (and myself if I ever end up like that.)
  
  Nice writing. Keep up the good work. read
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  TRASNFER DEPOT
  A review of Rolling Meadows
  by gclifton on 05/09/2010
  Me or age are only applicable here because I'm 71, had this reviewed typed, and erased the SOB. Possibly Dan, because of the proximity of Jimmy's prediciment. Time out! Senility is knocking on the front door as we speak. Beginning again, this is an outstanding job of creating a very original, witty, often hillarious yarn dealing with the inevitability of the end of life.... Me or age are only applicable here because I'm 71, had this reviewed typed, and erased the SOB. Possibly Dan, because of the proximity of Jimmy's prediciment. Time out! Senility is knocking on the front door as we speak.
  
  Beginning again, this is an outstanding job of creating a very original, witty, often hillarious
  yarn dealing with the inevitability of the end of life. Jimmy, naturally pissed at being dumped in a "retirement center" next door to a travel agency operated by creepy transfer agents of death, is very well done. A carefully thought out, innovative concept, the writing style is 22 pages of well constructed story which doesn't miss a beat.
  
  This thing has a hundred great quips and lines: Page 1:"A great place to die" and page 13: "...a man's wedding tackle" are a few of many spot on comments. (Think: "Rolling Hills -- the last place I'd ever want to live.")
  
  BTW, I bet on page 12: "died hair" you meant "dyed." and page 12 "...and a probably STD" you meant "probable STD" (If that means Sexually transmitted disease.)
  
  Great story, easy read, good stuff. If you ever see need of a re-write, you've got to work in a Viagra line. Jimmy could say: "They probably give these old geezers viagra at bedtime so they don't roll out of bed" or something thereabouts.
  How about: "The old lady in 26B was busted for illegal smuggling of viagra." gclifton111@yahoo.com read