Reviews of The Angel of Woodward Avenue 30

• 
  Terrific story, needs a little attention.
  A review of The Angel of Woodward Avenue
  by DustyOnMovies on 03/16/2013
  I really enjoyed this story. The ideas presented were creative and imaginative. The plot was constructed well. Most of the issues I had were with sentence structure. There's some proofreading needed too, but I'll leave that alone for now. I'd go back and rework each sentence separately. Try to make them more concise. "You will get a call on a man with a gun complaint at... I really enjoyed this story. The ideas presented were creative and imaginative. The plot was constructed well. Most of the issues I had were with sentence structure. There's some proofreading needed too, but I'll leave that alone for now.
  
  I'd go back and rework each sentence separately. Try to make them more concise.
  
  "You will get a call on a man with a gun complaint at the Herman Towers housing project"
  
  vs.
  
  "You will respond to a call about an armed man at Herman Towers."
  
  or
  
  "This will turn out to be a boy of only fourteen years old and the gun will turn out to be a toy from a video game device"
  
  vs.
  
  "Instead of an armed adult, the victim will be revealed as a 14 year-old boy"
  
  Speaking of which, it's okay to use numbers. You don't have to spell them out every time.
  
  There are a couple of spots that demand more description. "A European look" is fat too vague for the reader. You could stretch that out to a paragraph easily. Describe everything: his face, eyebrows, hair, stance, height. Also, there's no such thing as a Latin dialect of English.
  
  I'd love to see the story cleaned up and resubmitted. I think it's got a great plot and tons of potential. Also, I completely endorse the repeated use of "cock-up".
  
  Thanks,
  Dusty read
• 
  Every time a gun is fired, an angel gets his wings...
  A review of The Angel of Woodward Avenue
  by f-ceska on 02/22/2013
  You have a fairly interesting concept here – a black twist version of ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’. It’s fairly well written, with no noticeable typos or errors. Stylistically I think I would prefer it if you built up the atmosphere and reduced the exposition. Everything is spelled out and nothing is left for the reader to work out for themselves. Instead of telling Officer Stockman... You have a fairly interesting concept here – a black twist version of ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’.
  
  It’s fairly well written, with no noticeable typos or errors. Stylistically I think I would prefer it if you built up the atmosphere and reduced the exposition. Everything is spelled out and nothing is left for the reader to work out for themselves. Instead of telling Officer Stockman exactly what is going to happen/has happened to him, why not have him just hint at the situation, leaving Stockman to guess the missing details? I liked the twist ending and thought you handled that well. read
• 
  Good story with a twist
  A review of The Angel of Woodward Avenue
  by karlasbryant on 01/29/2013
  "The Angel of Woodward Avenue" is the kind of story I love finding on Trigger Street. Interesting characters, an intriguing story line, and a satisfying twist at the end. Officer Gary Stockman, the protagonist, is a tough Detroit policeman who finds himself in an unexpected conversation in a bar just before he's to start his shift. Cynical and skeptical, he's not quite buying... "The Angel of Woodward Avenue" is the kind of story I love finding on Trigger Street. Interesting characters, an intriguing story line, and a satisfying twist at the end.
  
  Officer Gary Stockman, the protagonist, is a tough Detroit policeman who finds himself in an unexpected conversation in a bar just before he's to start his shift. Cynical and skeptical, he's not quite buying the "prophesy story" a stranger is telling him. Very clever use of the "no one knows this but me" device while Stockman is trying to figure out if Borromeo is the real deal--a kind of guardian angel--or if he's peddling some kind of scam.
  
  Finally won over that Borromeo could only know the details of specific secrets in his life through supernatural means, Stockman willingly follows all of the instructions he's given for his upcoming shift. And that's when the twist comes into play.
  
  No real criticisms. Overall, a well-written and satisfying read. read
• 
  Mix Up In Heaven!
  A review of The Angel of Woodward Avenue
  by writermorris on 01/29/2013
  Do you know something, now and again on TS you get something from the left field which blows you away. This was seriously good. It had everything that a piece of storytelling should have, a little bit of mystery, a touch more of disbelief, and real pace in the storytelling. I loved the 'Rush Hour in Heaven' gag, and the twist at the end was most enjoyable. The one thing I would... Do you know something, now and again on TS you get something from the left field which blows you away. This was seriously good. It had everything that a piece of storytelling should have, a little bit of mystery, a touch more of disbelief, and real pace in the storytelling. I loved the 'Rush Hour in Heaven' gag, and the twist at the end was most enjoyable. The one thing I would say is that it seems more like a pilot for a television series than a truly short story, but that's a personal view. Would I recommend a rewrite ? Maybe the dialogue could do with tightening up ever so slightly, But, no. The plot is excellent, the structure is well done, and the length of the story is just about right. Well done. read
• 
  Review of: The Angel of Woodward Avenue
  A review of The Angel of Woodward Avenue
  by Robert G Moons on 01/16/2013
  I really liked this twilight zone type story, twist ending and all. It was well written, and I didn't notice any obvious grammatical errors. It was original and creative. The dialogue was very good and natural sounding. There was only one line by Borromeo that bothered me a bit as it seemed to be somewhat out of character for him. It actually confused me for a moment, as I... I really liked this twilight zone type story, twist ending and all. It was well written, and I didn't notice any obvious grammatical errors. It was original and creative. The dialogue was very good and natural sounding. There was only one line by Borromeo that bothered me a bit as it seemed to be somewhat out of character for him. It actually confused me for a moment, as I thought it was someone else: "Rush hour really bites." The best written scene, I thought, was near the end where Borromeo is in his Motel room. The writer impressed me with how this was handled. There were some nice touches such as "he said to the mirror." Most writers (including myself) would just write "he said." or something like that. This scene was smooth and easy to visualize. Nicely done. For this scene I'd give an excellent for all 6 ratings. read
• 
  Loved the concept and the twist...
  A review of The Angel of Woodward Avenue
  by Hickory Cole on 01/04/2013
  But the wrap up almost sounds like your ready to give away the heart of the story. I love these Twilight Zone type tales where the protagonist is offered an intervening solution by a higher power only to have fate still trip him up. That was what the author did here, but I would have preferred the angel leave it at that. He did his job just as the prayers had asked. Asked... But the wrap up almost sounds like your ready to give away the heart of the story. I love these Twilight Zone type tales where the protagonist is offered an intervening solution by a higher power only to have fate still trip him up. That was what the author did here, but I would have preferred the angel leave it at that. He did his job just as the prayers had asked. Asked and answered. The lesson that fate is set is a very powerful theme, and very satisfying to the reader. Don't leave us to think Stockman might get another do over.
  
  There is a lot of ancillary detail provided. Brush strokes to paint a picture, set a mood. I like that. There is a lot of detail left out. The critical scene is only reported later, after the fact versus walking the reader, blow by blow through a suspenseful scene to see how the prophecy played out. I can see the benefit of going the way the author chose. Short and sweet and to the point he was trying to make, except for my previous point that he alluded that it could all be undone and then that leaves me a little hollow feeling. The lesson we just learned, the innate truth, that we cannot change our fate... or maybe we can, who knows, or cares.
  
  Stick to your guns, embrace tragedy! Don't let Stockman off the hook, or pretend you might. read
• 
  Even Central Command can Cock a Thing Up
  A review of The Angel of Woodward Avenue
  by nick74 on 05/06/2012
  I love some of the ideas presented in this story. First, the idea of angels being subjected to hierarchy. This is actually a classical concept with the nine levels of angel ascension (I think it’s nine, or is it seven, I don’t remember) and though we’ve all seen stories about the “fallen angel” i.e. the movie Michael, or stories about “hopelessly incompetent angels” like the... I love some of the ideas presented in this story. First, the idea of angels being subjected to hierarchy. This is actually a classical concept with the nine levels of angel ascension (I think it’s nine, or is it seven, I don’t remember) and though we’ve all seen stories about the “fallen angel” i.e. the movie Michael, or stories about “hopelessly incompetent angels” like the movie It’s a Wonderful Life, you never really get to see stories about angels existing in this corporate sort of heavenly structure. I suppose there was the movie The Adjustment Bureau, but I’m not convinced those were angels. Woodward Avenue puts a new spin on an old idea. I like that.
  
  And of course there’s the idea of an angel that sips vodka, smokes cigs, and enjoys observing the seedier side of humanity. The line “Such passionate creatures,” is a brilliant line of angelic observation --- it shows Borromeo to think these humans are both a little pathetic and inspiring at the same time. A nice touch.
  
  But the idea that interested me the most was that heaven is prone to committing cock-ups. That’s absolutely hilarious, and the fact that this entire story is bent around a heavenly cock-up, or two, is pretty fresh, not to mention that an angel (and ultimately Central Command) needing to initiate a do-over is creative and funny.
  
  Technically, there’s nothing wrong with the piece. If I gave any input at all it would be that the prose moves in a strict “Point A to Point B rhythm” which negates any color commentary. This is an effective way to tell short stories, but as a writer’s challenge, see if you can find points to include description --- description of the bar, the cops, the characters, etc. Or, maybe not. It really doesn’t matter, because as it is, Angel of Woodeward Avenue is a nicely self-contained story that encompasses some great ideas and has an unexpected ending. I enjoyed this one. read
• 
  Angelic Cliche
  A review of The Angel of Woodward Avenue
  by Rados on 04/12/2012
  This story is well written. The concept, however, seems recycled. I could swear that I've almost read a story like this before. My only recommendation would be to slightly change the plot, while keeping the general idea intact. All stories should have a mystic quality, and yours definitely succeeds at that. You're a good writer, but that doesn't matter. You also need a unique... This story is well written. The concept, however, seems recycled. I could swear that I've almost read a story like this before. My only recommendation would be to slightly change the plot, while keeping the general idea intact. All stories should have a mystic quality, and yours definitely succeeds at that. You're a good writer, but that doesn't matter. You also need a unique idea, unless you can turn something old into something new. I don't think you've quite succeeded at that here. But it's not fatally flawed. This story has hope with an infusion of more imagination. read
• 
  excellent written work with some flaws
  A review of The Angel of Woodward Avenue
  by deafeagle on 04/09/2012
  I had to read this twice as first story look so confusing. I did not understand what central command means. Perhaps should introduce what central command means. I thought life file are so great idea. I know of akashic records record every words thoughts and actions. But i do not like the end of story that seems to be weak because not surprise me at all. Perhaps add an impacting... I had to read this twice as first story look so confusing. I did not understand what central command means. Perhaps should introduce what central command means.
  
  I thought life file are so great idea. I know of akashic records record every words thoughts and actions.
  
  But i do not like the end of story that seems to be weak because not surprise me at all. Perhaps add an impacting life change at end make so inspiring. read
• 
  Well written and good story
  A review of The Angel of Woodward Avenue
  by Victoria-Lynne on 03/22/2012
  I really enjoyed this story, I wasn’t expecting to, because I generally don’t like stories about angles and religion, but I did like this one. Apart from a few grammatical errors, the story was really well written. I found it a little odd that people were drinking coffee in a bar, that took away from the story for me a bit. I also felt a disturbance in the story’s feel when... I really enjoyed this story, I wasn’t expecting to, because I generally don’t like stories about angles and religion, but I did like this one.
  
  Apart from a few grammatical errors, the story was really well written.
  I found it a little odd that people were drinking coffee in a bar, that took away from the story for me a bit.
  
  I also felt a disturbance in the story’s feel when the dialogue of ‘mother freaker’ was said. It just didn’t fit the character, although I did enjoy ‘coco puffs fruit looper’.
  
  The twist ending was really well written and made for an enjoyable read. read