stevles

Cancer Kills!

A review of The Carrier (rev.)

by stevles on 10/15/2012

The Carrier is a fast-paced, action-laced buddy/buddies movie, only, this time only one buddy out of four remains standing. It's Riley-Taker Vs. Richter-Keller, with only Richter left standing. There are a few other characters who manage to make it to the end credits alive, but you kind of get the feeling that somewhere down the line awaits their comeuppance. While the story... read

WHEN MEN WERE MEN

A review of Colter

by stevles on 02/25/2012

While a too overly simplistic writing style and occasional miss-spellings tweaked my sensibilities, as bios go, this was a nice piece of work. Good guys, bad guys, exciting conflicts, heroic resolutions... Colter really does have it all -- well, almost all. As it stands right now, it's more a series of incidents (episodic) than a single story. Yes, Colter's quest is to find... read

Old East Meets Young West

A review of The PRODIGAL

by stevles on 08/16/2011

While the Prodigal was an entertaining read, it was, to say the least, fraught with problems. Too many, I mean, too many typo and technical errors intrude on, what should have been, a smooth read. Ketel One spelled Kettel One; Characters go uncapped; Sonny capped SSONY in one place, SON in another and SONNY SONNY (pg. 57) in a third. Edna let's go of an arm instead of... While the Prodigal was an entertaining read, it was, to say the least, fraught with problems.

Too many, I mean, too many typo and technical errors intrude on, what should have been, a smooth read. Ketel One spelled Kettel One; Characters go uncapped; Sonny capped SSONY in one place, SON in another and SONNY SONNY (pg. 57) in a third. Edna let's go of an arm instead of lets go (without apostrophe pg. 61.

Too many CUT TO's and CU's spoil the flow, as well.

More importantly, the dialogue among all of the "New York" characters is less New York than Catskill/Borscht-belt shtick that Billy Crystal and Neil Simon would disown... okay, maybe not Neil Simon. Interestingly, all the characters under the age of 55+ deliver some real smart dialogue. Melissa's intro to Sonny, for example, is first-rate. As for Solly, Frannie, Evie and Jake... "Oy vey!" doesn't begin to describe the stereotypical dialogue they're saddled with. And poor Alex, must she say "ju" almost every time she speaks?

As for Sonny, I can't possibly believe this so ethnic an actor/character could ever be a star outside of Hester Street. As for Melissa's fate at the hands of director Cody's frat boy antics, there needs to be more there for it to ring true. Finally, and maybe it's just me, but I don't see how Sonny and his dad's reunion (with Robbie) back in NY pulls the piece together.

The positives;

As I've already stated, the dialogue given the younger characters is more than good. Melissa's character is beautifully drawn and Cody's is properly despicable.

The story itself, of an aging star in need of a new life, is not a bad one. Sonny is a likeable protagonist, a guy you really want to root for.

I think the story is there, from first page to last. Maybe you can, in its current form, find an independent producer with a fondness for this antiquated art form. If not, you might consider restructuring the characters where perhaps Sonny is the bridge between the Evie and Franny's of the world and everyone else that follows.

Good luck with this. If you do re-write it with a more contemporary edge, let me know.
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Self Loathing American-Style

A review of American Independent

by stevles on 03/09/2011

First, let me congratulate the writer for an extremely entertaining two hour read. The topic, for this site at least, was refreshing, original and thought-provoking. Having said all that, I must confess that if I were judging this (reader) for a studio, I would have to pass on it for the following reasons: Too preachy - Santa Fox, the radio DJ is too much the mouthpiece... read

A TRICKY READ

A review of Oh Sinner Man

by stevles on 10/26/2010

Ordinarily I'm able to read and digest a script in one sitting, but Oh Sinner Man cost me several hours over several days to finish. For all of its confusions, it was a surprisingly interesting and entertaining read, a tribute to the writer's ability to keep me glued while hopelessly confused. Were all the dream sequences dreams or were they out and out murders? Did Robert... read

A Novel Idea

A review of Let Them Come Apart

by stevles on 09/19/2009

Like so many horror films, this one has the usual complement of ups and downs. Great idea, wounded couple looking outside marriage to save/destroy a fragile relationship. All the bad karma between them gets worse when the stud they bring home is some kind of sexually charged and starved bloodsucking vampire. The rest of the story, though quite good, is a tad too predictable... read

AMBITIOUS DIVE INTO DANGEROUS WATERS

A review of Symptoms of Betrayal(7/09)

by stevles on 07/28/2009

Symptoms of Betrayal is a valiant attempt at putting together, via flashback, the reasons behind a school shooting. Pulling it off, however, proves to be too difficult, at least for this go-round, and the end, though revealing, is too abrupt, leaving this reader confused and unfulfilled. How to make it better? Reduce/consolidate the number of flashbacks. I understand the... read

UNCONDITIONAL SURRENDER!

A review of Unconditional (Rev 2.1)

by stevles on 07/23/2009

Unconditional is a terrific read. Nice characters, nice story, no real bad guys (ok... Pete is the obligatory antagonist, but, as bad guys go, he's not bad enough)... and for the tone of this script, that's okay. Now, terrific read does not necessarily translate into terrific script. There are some problems, but, for me, they are not too difficult to resolve. At the get-go,... read

SUPERMARKET MELODRAMA

A review of LIFE AMONG THE RUINS

by stevles on 07/14/2009

It's obvious from the attention to detail that one of the writers spent a great deal of time working in a local NY supermarket. The long intro, with a multitude (maybe too much of a multitude) of characters, is interesting and entertaining enough to keep us reading. Life Among the Ruins is a breezy, easy to follow and entertaining character study; however, it's almost one-set... read

Angeles Angels

A review of Dos Angeles

by stevles on 07/13/2009

Dos Angeles is short, original and clever, but it is by no means an easy read. Interspersing music/lyrics into what is already an unconventional, highly abstract story, slows the quick-paced action to a crawl -- not necessarily a bad thing when the reader has the time to digest it all, but a deal killer if the reader is a professional hoping, no, praying to breeze through... read

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stevles

Member Participation Level:

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eastb on 09/16/2012

DontStealMyScript on 07/11/2012

mbannonb on 06/23/2012

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Submissions by stevles

Reviews by stevles 122

Comments About stevles 15

eastb on 09/16/2012

DontStealMyScript on 07/11/2012

mbannonb on 06/23/2012

10pagesaday on 04/10/2012

Christopher O'Rourke on 01/30/2012

**DELETED ACCOUNT** on 01/01/2012

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gridlock on 02/14/2011

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