Comments About talfier1@comcast.net 13

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  missmaughan on 12/02/2009

  Thank you for your review of Origination of Being. I agree with you that it is a rough draft at best. I do need to add some more element. I hear often that I should ad characters. I'll be working on it. There will be another copy that is much better. Just needs some patience. :)
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  Mike Wolfson on 09/03/2009

  Hi Tom,
  
  First & foremost, many thanks for the review of A Novel Affair. I appreciate the time you’ve taken to list the grammar errors. The story was posted last year, and after talking to several other TS members I ordered The Elements of Style, which is helping me tremendously.
  
  Now on to that Proposal Review. I have no objections to a negative review. I think ‘A Novel Affair’ received at least three, but all three went on to tell me what they didn’t like, and why the story failed for them.
  
  The issue I do have with your review is that you haven’t been constructive. You haven’t mentioned character, you haven’t mentioned dialogue. Is the dialogue unrealistic? Are the characters wooden?
  
  I’m also unclear on why you’ve made some offensive remarks. All I’ve done is write a story, so what exactly is it that I need to get out of my system? This is a term we use in England when somebody has a festering issue burning away inside them, and they need to talk to someone to get over the problem. I can assure you I don’t have any problems.
  
  Secondly, why the cheap shot at the end about the hooker? Why would I want to use one? The act at the end isn’t anything to do with sexual gratification, it’s an endearing unpleasant act, to try and ease someone’s discomfort……that’s exactly what love is.
  
  Can you give me a valid reason not to HOJ your review?
  
  Did you miss something? I’d like to think, Yes. The Proposal’s credits are gone, it’s only at this stage that the true ranking position of the story becomes apparent….it’s ranked at 13. I’m proud of that.
  
  Reading between the lines, I get the impression that you believe a story told in this style, has no place anywhere. The deliberate reason for my approach was an attempt at taking a stereotypical cliché, turn it on it’s head, and push the boundaries in an extreme exaggerated way.
  
  My next submissions will probably be more mainstream.
  
  Please be assured that if your work comes my way, it will receive an honest and fair assessment, and will not be biased in any way as a result of your review. I’d also have no issues, if you were to review other works of mine, but please be constructive.
  
  I too apologise, and I hope you have a good day.
  
  Mike
  
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  **DELETED ACCOUNT** on 09/02/2009

  Thanks for your review of Shrink to Fit. That line is a bit too on-the-nose. Will try to rework that so it is less preachy. Thanks!

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Comments About talfier1@comcast.net 13

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  Quote

  missmaughan on 12/02/2009

  Thank you for your review of Origination of Being. I agree with you that it is a rough draft at best. I do need to add some more element. I hear often that I should ad characters. I'll be working on it. There will be another copy that is much better. Just needs some patience. :)
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  Quote

  Mike Wolfson on 09/03/2009

  Hi Tom,
  
  First & foremost, many thanks for the review of A Novel Affair. I appreciate the time you’ve taken to list the grammar errors. The story was posted last year, and after talking to several other TS members I ordered The Elements of Style, which is helping me tremendously.
  
  Now on to that Proposal Review. I have no objections to a negative review. I think ‘A Novel Affair’ received at least three, but all three went on to tell me what they didn’t like, and why the story failed for them.
  
  The issue I do have with your review is that you haven’t been constructive. You haven’t mentioned character, you haven’t mentioned dialogue. Is the dialogue unrealistic? Are the characters wooden?
  
  I’m also unclear on why you’ve made some offensive remarks. All I’ve done is write a story, so what exactly is it that I need to get out of my system? This is a term we use in England when somebody has a festering issue burning away inside them, and they need to talk to someone to get over the problem. I can assure you I don’t have any problems.
  
  Secondly, why the cheap shot at the end about the hooker? Why would I want to use one? The act at the end isn’t anything to do with sexual gratification, it’s an endearing unpleasant act, to try and ease someone’s discomfort……that’s exactly what love is.
  
  Can you give me a valid reason not to HOJ your review?
  
  Did you miss something? I’d like to think, Yes. The Proposal’s credits are gone, it’s only at this stage that the true ranking position of the story becomes apparent….it’s ranked at 13. I’m proud of that.
  
  Reading between the lines, I get the impression that you believe a story told in this style, has no place anywhere. The deliberate reason for my approach was an attempt at taking a stereotypical cliché, turn it on it’s head, and push the boundaries in an extreme exaggerated way.
  
  My next submissions will probably be more mainstream.
  
  Please be assured that if your work comes my way, it will receive an honest and fair assessment, and will not be biased in any way as a result of your review. I’d also have no issues, if you were to review other works of mine, but please be constructive.
  
  I too apologise, and I hope you have a good day.
  
  Mike
  
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  **DELETED ACCOUNT** on 09/02/2009

  Thanks for your review of Shrink to Fit. That line is a bit too on-the-nose. Will try to rework that so it is less preachy. Thanks!
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  jwest on 08/28/2009

  Hiya, thanks for reading and reviewing Clickety. No problem, it is only a snippet, and the voice is the camera, so yes, not really story - as traditional such. And was written as a fun challenge. Thanks tho.
  
  Have a good weekend. :)
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  mnjones on 08/28/2009

  Thank you for reviewing Butterflies. Your comments and suggestions were right on target and greatly appreciated.
  
  Mike
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  Erin Reidy on 07/31/2009

  Whoops! Yep, it was. I'm a little loopy after my root canal, not paying enough attention. No, I just wanted to say thanks for the review, for your thoughtful comments. Thanks for reading it!
  Erin
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  AlCielo on 07/22/2009

  Thanks a bunch for the Annotated Edition review--you're the first person who has gotten the entire joke. It's nice to be appreciated (even for such an obscure trifle).
  
  I've got some free will reviews to do, but I'd like to read and review Snow (the concept sounds great), so if you'd like an extra perspective, please leave me a comment on my page in a couple of days.
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  **DELETED ACCOUNT** on 07/20/2009

  Thanks for reading and reviewing THE CADUCEUS. No, your review and your opinion were not off the mark at all. I thougt you raised several valid concerns and questions, all worth considering. I appreciate your time and energy, as well as your point of view. Have a grand day! Tom
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  Leemanchee on 07/16/2009

  Hello again. Thanks for the review of 'Sam and the Night Jester'.
  
  Again a very thorough and constructive report, I appreciate it.
  
  I agree it should be bigger and really become immersed in a fantasy world. I have merely touched briefly into this world.
  
  My concern was the Night Jester himself, whether or not he was the main character, or did he share equally with Sam.
  
  I also have several copies out with children of the target age range. I read a few pages to my niece at the lower end of the scale. On the positives she laughed lots, negatives, some elements confused her. A good exercise.
  
  Your right, I need to read, read, read. Learn, learn, learn. Write, write, write.
  
  I am currently halfway through Sam's next adventure, and have started his third, with a fourth in mind. (Plus many other tales).
  
  I'm starting to ramble now, so, thanks again. Your advice and opinions are well received.
  
  Will we be seeing some of your work soon? Good luck.
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  **DELETED ACCOUNT** on 07/12/2009

  Thanks for your specific comments on A Few Good Cooks, which will be both timely and helpful when I begin the rewites. Cheers and welcome to Triggerstreet.

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