thomasdolan

magic

A review of Magic Trick

by thomasdolan on 11/12/2003

nice set up for the story. the acting was great and the editing was good. i am not sure if it was my realplayer/quicktime messing up but it just kept going green and out of focus. if it is not i would suggest clean up the short some make it a more pleasent view. if it is my comp then you did awesome. i especially like the twist ending.

chost of the red house

A review of Ghost of the Red Rose

by thomasdolan on 11/12/2003

A very DARK and chilling short. I can not wait to see your next short you put on here. The cinematography was one of the better I have seen on triggershoot, editing could use some work. But over all the short was good. Keep it up you may have something here.

below

A review of Below

by thomasdolan on 11/12/2003

The editing was good but the sound was muffled and hard to understand too much odd sound effects that where distracting. Nice cinematography I give you that. But it all seemed pointless. For only taking two hours good job but I think if you took a little longer worked in some angles into this It would work better.

lost in love

A review of The Love Life of Moses

by thomasdolan on 11/12/2003

A nice start in the screenplay. One thing I do see that is a bit confusing to the reader is you mention Joelynn moves to avoid Lesters advances but do not give Lester any direction on the advances so it just seems one sided. Make Lester move so we see why Joelynn dodges. I can’t think much else to write it was a good story but a very hard read for me.

wheres the beef

A review of The Orange

by thomasdolan on 11/09/2003

I am sorry but I have to be harsh. This was worse then being forced to critique stuff from project green light. The voice over was out of sync and the plot made no sense. If the orange was making the guy crazy then show more of that not shots of what I can only assume is a beach. Keep trying but this one was a flop.

the banished

A review of The Banished

by thomasdolan on 11/06/2003

this film had a nice unexpected twist but other then that it fell from the anticpation. nice cinematography and effects but the story fell from the vibe you where trying to play. but for being shot on such a short time frame you did awesome and i hope you make more. you seem very talented. keep it up.

one door down

A review of One Door Down

by thomasdolan on 11/06/2003

i think it is a good start. the movie leaves you wanting more, what that more is i am unsure of. there is no real ending and the conflict in the story was never resolved. i understand it is a shorter portion of a 34 minute movie and if you had to shorten it down that was a good place but it needed to give more of a clear ending to the synopsis you wrote.

A Nice "Varsity Blues" esque sceenplay

A review of End Over End (rev.)

by thomasdolan on 11/05/2003

As I read this screenplay I became enthralled in it. I too have witnessed friends kill themselves in front of me and I just have to say you definitely got the jist of emotions running through Kevin. I was very pleased how the story flowed. This is a magnificent screenplay and you are a very talented writer. There were a few mistypes in the screenplay but very few which editing... read

Cartoon World

A review of Cartoons

by thomasdolan on 10/11/2003

You brought a very nice edgy sense to the screen play. Something I sometimes see in first time writers is that they put in camera directions, angles and point of views; where that is good at points what you want to do is just tell the story let the reader figure where the scene will be shot from. When using a montage or sequence shots it is best to name the sequence and then... read

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Submissions by thomasdolan

Reviews by thomasdolan 19

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Submissions by thomasdolan

Reviews by thomasdolan 19

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