vikingwarrior 

member since 10/08/2010 | last login 03/04/2012

Wrote my first screenplay in 2008/2009. 'Omega Complex' is my second, written in 2010. Eager to learn and improve :)...

Bio

Wrote my first screenplay in 2008/2009. 'Omega Complex' is my second, written in 2010. Eager to learn and improve :)

Submissions by vikingwarrior

Reviews by vikingwarrior 17

  • A review of Cold Lake In Winter
    by vikingwarrior on 09/26/2011
    Overall I would say great writing, but the story wasn't one for me. I'm not a fan of this genre and if I were to be drawn in, it would have to be by an original take and extremely intriguing characters. I didn't feel you had either of those, but what kept me reading was a friendly writing style. Your screenplay was elemental and at times I felt like I was back in a Cormac McCarthy... read
  • A review of Heavy Gravity
    by vikingwarrior on 09/17/2011
    Firstly, you are a great writer and you conjure up some incredible visuals. That being said, I found this difficult to read. Normally I will get through a screenplay in an hour or so, but I found myself having to take long breaks every block of pages. The reason? You overly describe. As a result the screenplay becomes a labour to read and after 30 pages I felt like I had read... read
  • A review of In Human Form
    by vikingwarrior on 09/05/2011
    I read this in one sitting. That's easy to do when the dialogue is so engaging, the scenes so well crafted and the plight of our characters so clearly presented. I think you are an excellent writer. Not so certain I 'enjoyed' the story. I found it difficult to relate to some of the characters and their insistence to put their faith in God, against such a harsh world. That,... read
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Comments About vikingwarrior 13

  • BeanTown on 09/27/2011

    Thanks for the read and review of Cold Lake. Cormac McCarthy you say... I'll take that.!
    Thanks again.
    Paul
  • ProfRedSweater on 09/27/2011

    I'm glad you found the review helpful! Writing style is a weird beast to pin down. So many different styles work, and even one style may work for one genre and not as well for another. There are general "rules" like don't use -ing words (passive verbs don't make the script feel immediate), and don't say things like "suddenly" (since events in a script happen immediately when they're written). But I think the place where it bumped me was more with:
    - physical reactions by characters that were unclear (I think of how Kelly bites her finger shortly after she came out of the coffin. It seemed strange, and I wasn't sure what to make of it. Was it seductive? Nervous? If so that needs to be clear immediately when it's read) (Note: also be careful about overwriting character actions in an unfilmable way, I think another reviewer said something about the line "The pilots look at each other. Let's never do this again." and he's right, that's not a line that can be filmed. There's a physical action that will show that same idea though.)
    - Losing the physical movement of characters in the script. It's a little more difficult to pinpoint this, it just has to be looked at scene by scene and to make sure that we know the room we're in when we get there, where our actors are placed, and then make sure that their movements are concise and specific.


    It's all a weird process, and I think something that just comes with time. Regardless, you have the right idea to keep reading scripts and developing your own style. I see from your info that this is the second script that you've written, and for a second script it's really quite great and far along with the process. I remember my first couple scripts were pretty terrible. So good job, and definitely keep with it!
  • Karl Gorman on 09/26/2011

    Hey there. Just a bit of trivia: that script is in fact something like the 10th edition I put on Triggerstreet (it just had a different title before). The first version was a bulky 114 pages.

    Thank you for your feedback. I can tell you have gone over it properly, with well meaning intent.

    There is good advice, there is the right advice... and then there's both. Because I have had so many mixed reviews for that script, it will be some time before I can clarify how much of what your review was. But it was a professionally-done review, without a doubt.

    Keep well,

    -- Karl.
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