An angry man unwillingly returns to the church of his childhood. Lost and despairing, he tries to ignore the darkness... more
W.E. Linde
I am a freelance writer and aspiring novelist. I wrote my first novel manuscript last year, and am now editing it. I currently write weekly analysis and commentary articles for Yahoo! News, and I host a writer’s blog at www.sojournermountain.tumblr.com....
Bio
I am a freelance writer and aspiring novelist. I wrote my first novel manuscript last year, and am now editing it. I currently write weekly analysis and commentary articles for Yahoo! News, and I host a writer’s blog at www.sojournermountain.tumblr.com.
Submissions by W.E. Linde
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a short story by W.E. LindeGenres: horror, mystery/suspense
Reviews by W.E. Linde 18
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A review of Rumors of Exigenceby W.E. Linde on 02/14/2011I see that this story has been out a while, so I imagine that you’ve heard about everything you need to for this intriguing short story. First of all, your character development, and the internal struggles of both our main character and his wife are expertly developed and presented to the reader. I found the suffering of Grand pa here, along with all the baggage we get... I see that this story has been out a while, so I imagine that you’ve heard about everything you need to for this intriguing short story.
First of all, your character development, and the internal struggles of both our main character and his wife are expertly developed and presented to the reader. I found the suffering of Grand pa here, along with all the baggage we get to glimpse throughout the story, moving and realistic. I felt sympathy for both him and his wife. You’re clearly comfortable with writing, and I found the use of language refreshing in your lack of cliché.
The use of the lottery ticket was interesting, and it did a good job adding an element of mystery. I have to admit, however, that it seemed almost irrelevant to the majority of the story. The primary purpose appeared to be to create a sense of mortality for our main character, to increase the tension on the PCH, and to provide a reward at the end. So in the end, Rumors of Exigence is a strong human drama with a subtle supernatural bent. Don’t get me wrong. The story is solid and is very entertaining. This is a testimony to your skill at presenting strong characters with gripping internal conflicts.
The only other point I’d make is how, for just a sentence or two, you allow the point of view to shift from your main character to the homeless man. The purpose seemed to be to highlight a general mood of despair in the setting, but when 99% of the story is from the POV of one character, this deviation is a little disruptive.
P 5 As each passed with windows up and eyes front his shoulders dropped a fraction of a millimeter more, his heart beat a fraction of second slower, a little bit more hope leaked out, a little bit more despair leaked in.
I enjoyed your story quite a bit. Nicely done. read -
A review of Dr. Tower's Babelby W.E. Linde on 02/09/2011I have to admit, I’ve just felt the first pangs of professional envy. Dr. Towers’ Babel is a wondrously told tale that blends science fiction, mystery, and religion in a way that is not only entertaining, it’s mesmerizing. The story is original, and the structure is well done in that the reader is drawn into a convincing and utterly believable world where science is pushed... I have to admit, I’ve just felt the first pangs of professional envy. Dr. Towers’ Babel is a wondrously told tale that blends science fiction, mystery, and religion in a way that is not only entertaining, it’s mesmerizing. The story is original, and the structure is well done in that the reader is drawn into a convincing and utterly believable world where science is pushed into fiction without so much as a “oh come on” moment from the reader. While reading your other work I was sure that you had some military experience. In reading this, I’m sure that you’re a scientist.
But that’s not what’s stoking my envy. It’s the use of words. At the risk of sounding melodramatic, I found this almost hypnotic. Even before we reach the dream-like climatic sequences, the story is buoyed by borderline poetry that just seems to work. I’ve read novice writers who almost certainly pulled a brain muscle in an attempt to create stunning prose. In the hands of such a novice, this usually comes across as forced and insincere. But in this case I found myself swept along by the language.
The strengths of this story are many, and the areas for improvement are few. If I might offer any advice at all, I’d suggest that our main character’s religious beliefs be explored a little more early on. I’m not suggesting that the character change at all. But as I read this I found it surprising that someone with such a thirst for knowledge didn’t seem to have more compelling justification for his beliefs (or lack thereof) in God. This is of course subjective, but I base this on my personal experiences in college, where there were many cut from a similar cloth as our main character here who seemed to relish telling believers why there is no such thing as a God.
I can’t tell you how much I enjoyed this story. My only real question is “how come I haven’t read this in print somewhere?” Great job. I’m really looking forward to your other writings. read -
A review of THE RAMBLINGS OF AN ODD MANby W.E. Linde on 02/08/2011I didn’t know what to expect with this story. In all honesty, after the introduction of a hard nosed detective at the outset, I was concerned that I was in for 15 pages of clichés. That concern evaporated quickly once “Quincy” was introduced. There were two really notable strengths to your story that stood out to me. First was the way the story effortlessly evolved from... I didn’t know what to expect with this story. In all honesty, after the introduction of a hard nosed detective at the outset, I was concerned that I was in for 15 pages of clichés. That concern evaporated quickly once “Quincy” was introduced.
There were two really notable strengths to your story that stood out to me. First was the way the story effortlessly evolved from what appeared to a detective story into a very interesting human drama. But the really exceptional thing was how Quincy’s ability didn’t take over the story. It fueled the tale, but it never got in the way. Very nicely done.
The only real area for improvement that I might suggest is technical. There are a number of instances where the use of periods and commas is somewhat unnatural. For example, on page 1 it states “If you make the wrong choice. I'll be there to ram it down your throat until you cough out a confession. “ On page 2 “But, he had a good hold of her.” The author may have been going for a certain voice, but it comes across choppy and somewhat distracting.
This story was very engaging, and I enjoyed this story quite a bit. Great job. read
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Submissions by W.E. Linde
-
a short story by W.E. LindeGenres: horror, mystery/suspense
An angry man unwillingly returns to the church of his childhood. Lost and despairing, he tries to ignore the darkness... more
Reviews by W.E. Linde 18
-
A review of Rumors of Exigenceby W.E. Linde on 02/14/2011I see that this story has been out a while, so I imagine that you’ve heard about everything you need to for this intriguing short story. First of all, your character development, and the internal struggles of both our main character and his wife are expertly developed and presented to the reader. I found the suffering of Grand pa here, along with all the baggage we get... I see that this story has been out a while, so I imagine that you’ve heard about everything you need to for this intriguing short story.
First of all, your character development, and the internal struggles of both our main character and his wife are expertly developed and presented to the reader. I found the suffering of Grand pa here, along with all the baggage we get to glimpse throughout the story, moving and realistic. I felt sympathy for both him and his wife. You’re clearly comfortable with writing, and I found the use of language refreshing in your lack of cliché.
The use of the lottery ticket was interesting, and it did a good job adding an element of mystery. I have to admit, however, that it seemed almost irrelevant to the majority of the story. The primary purpose appeared to be to create a sense of mortality for our main character, to increase the tension on the PCH, and to provide a reward at the end. So in the end, Rumors of Exigence is a strong human drama with a subtle supernatural bent. Don’t get me wrong. The story is solid and is very entertaining. This is a testimony to your skill at presenting strong characters with gripping internal conflicts.
The only other point I’d make is how, for just a sentence or two, you allow the point of view to shift from your main character to the homeless man. The purpose seemed to be to highlight a general mood of despair in the setting, but when 99% of the story is from the POV of one character, this deviation is a little disruptive.
P 5 As each passed with windows up and eyes front his shoulders dropped a fraction of a millimeter more, his heart beat a fraction of second slower, a little bit more hope leaked out, a little bit more despair leaked in.
I enjoyed your story quite a bit. Nicely done. read -
A review of Dr. Tower's Babelby W.E. Linde on 02/09/2011I have to admit, I’ve just felt the first pangs of professional envy. Dr. Towers’ Babel is a wondrously told tale that blends science fiction, mystery, and religion in a way that is not only entertaining, it’s mesmerizing. The story is original, and the structure is well done in that the reader is drawn into a convincing and utterly believable world where science is pushed... I have to admit, I’ve just felt the first pangs of professional envy. Dr. Towers’ Babel is a wondrously told tale that blends science fiction, mystery, and religion in a way that is not only entertaining, it’s mesmerizing. The story is original, and the structure is well done in that the reader is drawn into a convincing and utterly believable world where science is pushed into fiction without so much as a “oh come on” moment from the reader. While reading your other work I was sure that you had some military experience. In reading this, I’m sure that you’re a scientist.
But that’s not what’s stoking my envy. It’s the use of words. At the risk of sounding melodramatic, I found this almost hypnotic. Even before we reach the dream-like climatic sequences, the story is buoyed by borderline poetry that just seems to work. I’ve read novice writers who almost certainly pulled a brain muscle in an attempt to create stunning prose. In the hands of such a novice, this usually comes across as forced and insincere. But in this case I found myself swept along by the language.
The strengths of this story are many, and the areas for improvement are few. If I might offer any advice at all, I’d suggest that our main character’s religious beliefs be explored a little more early on. I’m not suggesting that the character change at all. But as I read this I found it surprising that someone with such a thirst for knowledge didn’t seem to have more compelling justification for his beliefs (or lack thereof) in God. This is of course subjective, but I base this on my personal experiences in college, where there were many cut from a similar cloth as our main character here who seemed to relish telling believers why there is no such thing as a God.
I can’t tell you how much I enjoyed this story. My only real question is “how come I haven’t read this in print somewhere?” Great job. I’m really looking forward to your other writings. read -
A review of THE RAMBLINGS OF AN ODD MANby W.E. Linde on 02/08/2011I didn’t know what to expect with this story. In all honesty, after the introduction of a hard nosed detective at the outset, I was concerned that I was in for 15 pages of clichés. That concern evaporated quickly once “Quincy” was introduced. There were two really notable strengths to your story that stood out to me. First was the way the story effortlessly evolved from... I didn’t know what to expect with this story. In all honesty, after the introduction of a hard nosed detective at the outset, I was concerned that I was in for 15 pages of clichés. That concern evaporated quickly once “Quincy” was introduced.
There were two really notable strengths to your story that stood out to me. First was the way the story effortlessly evolved from what appeared to a detective story into a very interesting human drama. But the really exceptional thing was how Quincy’s ability didn’t take over the story. It fueled the tale, but it never got in the way. Very nicely done.
The only real area for improvement that I might suggest is technical. There are a number of instances where the use of periods and commas is somewhat unnatural. For example, on page 1 it states “If you make the wrong choice. I'll be there to ram it down your throat until you cough out a confession. “ On page 2 “But, he had a good hold of her.” The author may have been going for a certain voice, but it comes across choppy and somewhat distracting.
This story was very engaging, and I enjoyed this story quite a bit. Great job. read -
A review of The Sown (rev)by W.E. Linde on 02/07/2011For science fiction to work, an author has to create a world that the reader is willing to accept. It doesn’t have to be plausible or even remotely “realistic”, but it has to feel legitimate within the context of the story. It really is the first test of a good science fiction story, and you’ve done this very well. The description of the stasis chamber, the reanimation, and... For science fiction to work, an author has to create a world that the reader is willing to accept. It doesn’t have to be plausible or even remotely “realistic”, but it has to feel legitimate within the context of the story. It really is the first test of a good science fiction story, and you’ve done this very well. The description of the stasis chamber, the reanimation, and the detailed description of the ship gave the story the perfect setting to launch the reader into this science fiction nightmare.
A major strength of The Sown was the sense of isolation and accompanying dread that would come from the realization that there may also be danger. You created tension right out the gate with Gentry’s violent dream, and then proceed to guide the reader through the ship and into an increasing tension. The gradual revelations that lead us to the macabre ending are well timed, and done with originality. COP’s statement of “No, sir, you are not alone” was chilling. So well done on both the sci-fi and horror fronts.
And by the way, I really liked the expression on page 4 “submerged inside his own manufactured death.” Very deep and sci-fi.
There are a few minor areas that I think the story can be improved upon. There are a couple of instances where references were perhaps a little too abstract. On page 3, for instance, the sentence reads “Soon, at least physically, he had returned to life like an automaton gaining animation.” I’m not sure that this has a clear meaning. Also there are a number of sentences that read a little choppy (e.g. pg 14 “He groaned. Had to find out.”). This is may have been intentional, to demonstrate a mind not thinking as coherently as it should, but it seemed to stand out to me.
The last thought is on a specific line. On pg 17 the statement is made: “Gentry’s mind was beginning to lose its judgment.” I think considering the tension you’ve been building throughout the story, this would be better left unsaid. You’re demonstrating it quite effectively without the narration telling us, and I think it served to water down that tension a bit.
As this is the first sci-fi story I’ve read in a long time, I really appreciate being reintroduced with as an enjoyable story as this. Nice work. read -
A review of Riversby W.E. Linde on 02/03/2011At first, I thought that I was being clever because there are a few turns in the story that appeared predictable. I figured out early that the girl was probably deceased. But the reason for it, and the tremendous guilt associated with the protagonist, I had all wrong. I believe the author probably planned the story this way. By picking up on clues in the beginning, I expected... At first, I thought that I was being clever because there are a few turns in the story that appeared predictable. I figured out early that the girl was probably deceased. But the reason for it, and the tremendous guilt associated with the protagonist, I had all wrong. I believe the author probably planned the story this way. By picking up on clues in the beginning, I expected one thing, and then was surprised with the ultimate resolution.
Strengths: Structure. The story gives some pretty big hints that the world that the protagonist is driving in isn’t exactly real. But the actually setting isn’t really revealed until the very end, and I found the revelation was done in a very satisfying way.
The story has some truly heart rending scenes. The author very effectively, and at the right time, reveals to the readers what is driving the main character to seek his daughter’s forgiveness. The description of the accident scene was very well done, and very moving.
Areas for improvement. Although I found the story structure quite strong, there were a number of areas where the narration perspective shifts back and forth. For example, at the end of page 7 we see the father’s perspective, which is by far the most prevalent in the story, but next on page 8 we see a sudden shift to the daughter’s perspective (“She was trying hard to be strong, for him, but a certain firmness was needed now”). The power behind most of this story is how we’re given greater insights into the father’s trials, and I think it would be better if the story stuck with that perspective.
Other than that, there were a small number of small technical points:
P3 “he ignored a section of the roadside scattered with pa grove of elm
trees,” I think “palm” is meant here.
p5 “despite his hands tightly intertwined to prevent it,” this was a little awkward reading
p7 “His daughter’s friends were now shouting for her to come along without
haste, a rising urgency in their collective appeal.” I think this was to be “with haste”
I enjoyed this a lot. A really good read. read -
A review of The King of Rowdy Creekby W.E. Linde on 02/01/2011I felt like I was in the middle of a Tarantino flick (a good one). The author starts out in the middle of a chaotic situation, and never stops. Strengths: the author effectively places the story in the middle of a larger story that we never get to see, but we know it is there. That’s always a real challenge for the short story, and the author does this quite effectively... I felt like I was in the middle of a Tarantino flick (a good one). The author starts out in the middle of a chaotic situation, and never stops.
Strengths: the author effectively places the story in the middle of a larger story that we never get to see, but we know it is there. That’s always a real challenge for the short story, and the author does this quite effectively.
Action. The roller skates were at once comic and surreal, and added an interesting component to the action.
Characters: In 11 short pages, the author established two exceptionally complicated characters. They have a history that is skillfully alluded to, referenced, but the reader is never clubbed over the head with it.
The scene where Phil screams that stabbing is “personal” was great.
Suggested improvement: the only thing I would offer is that “the Agency” is a bit of an overused vehicle for assassins, literary or cinematic. This was the only area where I felt the story wasn’t fresh.
Great job. I hope to hear more of Mack in the future. read -
A review of The Car and Candiceby W.E. Linde on 02/01/2011The Car and Candice introduces us to some of the best character-driven story telling that I’ve read in quite a while. With only an aging limo driving amidst the backdrop of California wildfires, the story advances smoothly on the power of Max and Candice and their brief encounter. The structure is flawless, and the dialogue believable and interesting. There are only two... The Car and Candice introduces us to some of the best character-driven story telling that I’ve read in quite a while. With only an aging limo driving amidst the backdrop of California wildfires, the story advances smoothly on the power of Max and Candice and their brief encounter.
The structure is flawless, and the dialogue believable and interesting.
There are only two areas I’d suggest that could be improved, and both are subjective. First, I’d dispense with the drug use. I personally don’t think it does anything to develop Max’s character, and only serves as a needless distracter.
Second, and this may be by the conscious choice of the author, we never get a full appreciation for Max’s motivation for his 30 minutes with Candice. Was it really just ti hear her voice? His gallant treatment of her at the end suggests otherwise. I suppose this question may have been purposefully unanswered, but I felt something missing.
Great job. The author has demonstrated real storytelling skill with this one. read -
A review of Harmonyby W.E. Linde on 01/31/2011Harmony is an ambitious and action packed story that confronts some deeply emotional and religious issues. On many levels, this story delivers: the author expertly paints a realistic setting that, if you’ve ever been to Afghanistan (I have), effectively summons the memories of that place. The characters are realistic and relatable. Strengths: Our protagonist. The author... Harmony is an ambitious and action packed story that confronts some deeply emotional and religious issues. On many levels, this story delivers: the author expertly paints a realistic setting that, if you’ve ever been to Afghanistan (I have), effectively summons the memories of that place. The characters are realistic and relatable.
Strengths:
Our protagonist. The author creates a tormented character who is interesting and clearly being set up for some traumatic conflict. His struggle is understandable, at least for me, and I think his struggles are entirely realistic. This is a character that the reader wants to follow to the end of the story.
Plot: Although a dramatization to be sure, and to a degree predictable, I couldn’t help but dread every turn that brought David closer to his soon to be captors. With the haunting memory of the video burned into his mind, it was with a sickening feeling that the reader becomes resigned to the struggle that unfolds.
Weakness: There are two key pieces of this that I felt were not thoroughly convincing. The first is the rational conversion of the primary antagonist. Perhaps it was the abbreviated nature of the short story, but it’s difficult to believe that a religious zealot would so thoroughly change perspectives in such radical fashion. There may be the need to demonstrate David’s victory differently in order to keep the gritty realism that the majority of the story boasts.
Second is the conflict between religions. Now, don’t get me wrong. I think this element of the story is both promising and tantalizing. But the first time we hear of David being a Christian is on p33. He draws most of his strength from the words of his boss, not his God. If the story was to be a last minute conversion, I think more needs to go into demonstrating this. If David had some anchor in his faith, then that wasn’t explained at all.
Finally, a couple of very minor technical points:
P8 “She squealed out putting her coffee mug down.” Reads awkwardly.
33 “Not holly.” An extra “L”…
This is a well crafted story that speaks especially to those who have considered the nature of extremism. Entertaining and engrossing. Good job, nick74. read -
A review of Henry's Ds #5 Lets Get Bombedby W.E. Linde on 01/30/2011I felt that this story was a rough draft, that it was more of a concept on paper than a completed short story. Strengths: the story is refined enough to indicate that the author has a complete tale to tell, and there is a certain energy behind the flow. The specific references to various technical details (aircraft, explosives) indicate the author has familiarity with,... I felt that this story was a rough draft, that it was more of a concept on paper than a completed short story.
Strengths: the story is refined enough to indicate that the author has a complete tale to tell, and there is a certain energy behind the flow. The specific references to various technical details (aircraft, explosives) indicate the author has familiarity with, or at least done his homework on, elements that add realism to the story.
Weaknesses: this has all the weaknesses to be expected of a rough draft. None of the characters are really developed enough to identify with. Without this development, the reader has only stereotyped mobster imagery to fill the void. I assume that the protagonist is Henry. The flow of the narration is choppy, and sentence structure is often stilted.
Definitely revise this again, and pick the protagonist(s) that we’re supposed to care about. The dialogue (internal and between characters) is often awkward (for example “What’s he doing out here. Some nerve, these guys think they own everything, the coveralls said to himself.” This is a choppy sentence, and sounds like the coveralls are talking). You may find that the story is too big to contain in a short story, with all the characters and intrigue that you’ve introduced us to in these few pages. read -
A review of The Sound of the Nightby W.E. Linde on 01/26/2011This is one of the strongest short stories I’ve read so far. The story was heartfelt, the characters relatable, and the storytelling captivating. In all honesty this type of writing isn’t of much interest to me, but I really enjoyed this. Strengths: the atmosphere. The author does an amazing job of presenting a night in the life of a budding sax player. I was pulled in... This is one of the strongest short stories I’ve read so far. The story was heartfelt, the characters relatable, and the storytelling captivating. In all honesty this type of writing isn’t of much interest to me, but I really enjoyed this.
Strengths: the atmosphere. The author does an amazing job of presenting a night in the life of a budding sax player. I was pulled in and convinced that the scenes were real, and the musicians were authentic. This atmosphere, and the energy the author infuses with it (“the blitzkrieg runs of his addictions and torment” is such an excellent line) carries this story from beginning to end.
Weaknesses: Only one, and its very subjective. Toledo comes across as fairly rough cut. His language and manner indicate that he’s an artist, and he may possibly have a poet’s heart, but I felt that on page 4, where he opines about the“ universal resonance in the hearts of all of us”, that he broke character. The author may be trying to expose some depth to Lenny, but it stood out to me as atypical and not vary natural.
Finally, a couple of minor technical errors, both on page one.
Pg1 “Me” capitalized
Pg 1 “hock”, not “hawk”
Again, this is a compelling piece of historical fiction. It was a pleasure to review. read
Comments About W.E. Linde 8
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nick74 on 02/10/2011
Yo Eric
Thanks for the glowing review of Dr. Tower's Babel, man. I couldn't help but chuckle at every word. As people who are slave to our craft I think we as writers just kind of throw our work out there and cross our fingers. Reviews of this nature really make it all worth it. And, once again, your critical input makes a heck of a lot of sense so thanks for that, too.
And envy? Please. The people I have encountered on this site, yourself included, are becoming more and more a piece of whatever success I may have in the future. So, I thank you, sir. I only hope to return the notion.
Nick -
nick74 on 02/07/2011
W.E.
Thanks for your review on The Sown. Great insight. I particularly like what you said about pg 17 - "His mind was beginning to lose its judgment." You're right. Strike it. Good eye, man, and thanks again. See you next time round.
Nick -
nick74 on 02/07/2011
W.E.
Top 10. Congrats!
Nick -
YeahHi on 02/02/2011
Thanks for your kind review of The King of Rowdy Creek! I appreciate the read.
Best,
Shauna -
nick74 on 02/01/2011
W.E.
You're welcome for the review on Perishing Land - a great story that I enjoyed a great deal. And thank you back, for your review of Harmony (belatedly so as well.) I speak of the alien world of Afghanistan from a 2nd person's observation whereas you, as you say, have been there, so your input is well-received and much appreciated.
Nick
Oh, and by the way, if you served over there, thanks for that most of all. -
johnturnbull on 01/31/2011
Thank you for your insightful review of "The Sound of the Night". I've received a lot of similar "flags" for the typos and dialogue slips - thus are the trappings of posting a first draft one-off. I look forward to reading your material and am jealous of your writing gig (ha!ha!) ... jt -
Cenydd Ros on 01/23/2011
Thanks for your review of MW - this is something I first wrote as a short script, and still hope to one day film it. -
SappleScoot on 01/16/2011
So the little girl was a very mature little girl, lol. Well, not really. Thanks so much for your review of "The First Time". I know what you mean about that section where the girl's character slips a little. I've received some more good feedback and plan to revise it soon. I checked out your site earlier and am already following your feed. You truly have a writer's mind, and I can't wait to see what you post here. Have a great day!
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Comments About W.E. Linde 8
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Yo Eric
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W.E.
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W.E.
+ more commentsnick74 on 02/10/2011
Thanks for the glowing review of Dr. Tower's Babel, man. I couldn't help but chuckle at every word. As people who are slave to our craft I think we as writers just kind of throw our work out there and cross our fingers. Reviews of this nature really make it all worth it. And, once again, your critical input makes a heck of a lot of sense so thanks for that, too.
And envy? Please. The people I have encountered on this site, yourself included, are becoming more and more a piece of whatever success I may have in the future. So, I thank you, sir. I only hope to return the notion.
Nick
nick74 on 02/07/2011
Thanks for your review on The Sown. Great insight. I particularly like what you said about pg 17 - "His mind was beginning to lose its judgment." You're right. Strike it. Good eye, man, and thanks again. See you next time round.
Nick
nick74 on 02/07/2011
Top 10. Congrats!
Nick