wlawrence 

member since 01/11/2012 | last login 05/06/2013

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Reviews by wlawrence 8

  • by wlawrence on 02/01/2012
    I can tell from reading this that you are very smart and have an idea of what you want to convey with this story. It's in there somewhere, but it needs some major fleshing out. First off, you should familiarize yourself with proper screenplay formatting and certain screenplay "rules". They're not really rules, but more of a guide to help develop your story and make the reading... read

Comments About wlawrence 5

  • rjsilva on 02/06/2012

    Thank you for reviewing "SKATERBOYS of ZOMBIE ISLAND". I want to address some of your observations. I laugh at how many people want the zombies earlier and it shall be done.

    -- The exchange between Jeremy and Angie on p. 99 made me cringe. -- I'm the one who wrote that crap, how do you think I feel about it? That whole scene is going to change.

    -- Marcus seems to disappear for a good chunk of the story. It got to a point where I wondered if I missed something and he had died. His reappearance with Alex, however, was well done.-- I agree and am adding a couple of scenes with Marcus and Alex getting there and cutting a couple of government scenes.

    -- How does Jeremy know they're tankers?-- fixed in rev 1

    -- The scene with the soldier fondling the paralyzed Angie seems unnecessary and out of place.-- You're the second person to point this out and I will change it.

    I didn't really write this to bring anything new to the genre. I just wanted a fun, low budget (is there such thing any more) zombie movie with a different perspective. Thanks again for taking your time to help me make it better.
    Ron
  • **DELETED ACCOUNT** on 02/06/2012

    Thanks for the review of Ashland. No need to apologize for your thoughts/opinions, all are welcome and appreciated. It's perfectly fine if you weren't 'into it' and you explained why which is the reason why we're here. Thanks for your time and the compliments on the writing. Good luck to you.
  • Johnstone82 on 01/19/2012

    Not a problem. Again, your concept is golden.
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