ydnar600 

member since 11/21/2002 | last login 07/16/2014

A 2014 Bluecat Screenplay Contest Semifinalist for the script "Better to Dance..." which was reviewed on this site. I grew up in Dallas Texas in a wonderful lower-middle class family in a wonderful lower-middle class black neighborhood. At age 11 I was...

Bio

A 2014 Bluecat Screenplay Contest Semifinalist for the script "Better to Dance..." which was reviewed on this site. I grew up in Dallas Texas in a wonderful lower-middle class family in a wonderful lower-middle class black neighborhood. At age 11 I was forced to move to a small town in East Texas: Mt. Pleasant. I attended the University of Texas at Austin and graduated in 1992. I currently am a Business Analyst for an Austin consulting firm.

Submissions by ydnar600

Reviews by ydnar600 121

  • A review of Squirrel Impossible
    by ydnar600 on 06/28/2014
    Dialogue: You have a bit of repetition in dialogue made even more conspicuous by the conspicuous lack of exclamation points. It just looks weird and reads weird like Old Man Farley at the top of p108 (and lots of other places) Story: I think I like this story a bit better than Anna and the Mirror. One of the things I’ve had to do is reset my expectations a bit due to this... read
  • by ydnar600 on 06/16/2014
    My running tally as I read: This bit on page 53 where Janet is being stabbed is very awkward. Unless we're looking at this offscreen there's no need for the description of screams are heard. Need to describe this better. And how does one awkwardly release a wicked smile? And it’s “screams of agony ARE heard throughout the ordeal”, sir. On page 54, Father Murphy says there's... read
  • A review of Funeral March
    by ydnar600 on 06/13/2014
    I’m guessing this is a first draft so hopefully I won’t be too harsh in my assessment of some of the more fundamental elements of your screenplay. Concept: Fantastic concept, though derivative of at least three genres (as i mention later), the marching band at the funeral is something I’d like to see. Characters: You have likable characters. The dynamic between Sam and Liz,... read
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Comments About ydnar600 40

  • Russ2007 on 07/18/2014

    Just want to say thanks for reading Anna & The Magic Mirror, and the notes. These will be useful in the rewrite. Appreciated.
  • Russ2007 on 07/14/2014

    A little late, just want to say thanks a lot for reading Squirrel Impossible and the notes. These will be useful in the rewrite. Appreciated.
  • dizzletri on 06/25/2014

    Wow! Thank you so much for your review of "Funeral March". You gave me loads to think about as I start this rewrite. I really lucked out as I can see by the other comments you take time and care with every review you give. If you ever want to read another draft I would be grateful and would do the same for you or buy you a cup of coffee of whatever. Thanks again.
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