ydnar600 

member since 11/21/2002 | last login 10/22/2014

A 2014 Bluecat Screenplay Contest Semifinalist for the script "Better to Dance..." which was reviewed on this site. I grew up in Dallas Texas in a wonderful lower-middle class family in a wonderful lower-middle class black neighborhood. At age 11 I was...

Bio

A 2014 Bluecat Screenplay Contest Semifinalist for the script "Better to Dance..." which was reviewed on this site. I grew up in Dallas Texas in a wonderful lower-middle class family in a wonderful lower-middle class black neighborhood. At age 11 I was forced to move to a small town in East Texas: Mt. Pleasant. I attended the University of Texas at Austin and graduated in 1992. I currently am a Business Analyst for an Austin consulting firm.

Submissions by ydnar600

Reviews by ydnar600 130

  • A review of Reset
    by ydnar600 on 10/14/2014
    Overall, a pretty good script. A pretty breezy read. That said, this will be a weird review for me because I really don’t have that much to say about it. As a critique of your story, there’s not much wrong with it and yet I have the nagging sense that there could be a lot more to it…I just don’t know what. Concept: There’s been any number of apocalyptic concepts out there,... read
  • by ydnar600 on 10/10/2014
    Some DETAILED thoughts as I read: Misspell of Memphis on title page, cementary should be cemetery, I would shorten this dream sequence and really make it more like a dream sequence. Right now, it reads more like an extended flashback at least until the end. There's a lot of incidental dialogue here in this first 15 pages that you might scale back on. I know you're trying... read
  • A review of Monsters Inside
    by ydnar600 on 10/06/2014
    Some thoughts as I read: Page 3 desert instead of dessert Page 5 unkept or unkempt...I believe it's unkempt Page 6 whole versus hole…this happens more than once Page 8 misses. versus Missus Page 22 you have introduced Valerie Venton twice Page 23 vodka doesn't really stink…it’s odorless Page 26 this moment about putting the finishing touches on reminds me of biff tannen in... read
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Comments About ydnar600 44

  • J. O'Hanley on 10/14/2014

    Hi, thanks for the Reset review. You're totally on the money, especially with regards to how Logan and Jewell sound alike. The initial plan was for me to write the Logan character and someone else was going to write Jewell, but I wound up having to go it alone and now both characters pretty much just talk like me. The hope is to shoot this as a microbudget feature, hopefully the actresses we cast will tweak the dialogue and sound a little more distinct.

    Thanks again!
  • johnnyb2124 on 10/07/2014

    Thanks for the read and detailed notes on Monsters Inside! Its a first draft and your notes will help take me in the right direction!
  • Russ2007 on 09/27/2014

    Thanks for reading Serial Killers and the notes. These will be useful in the rewrite. Appreciated.
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